Thirty Two.
Thirty Two people attended this party. The door was revolving. The house was bursting. Chrome’s head was spinning. We even arranged for a surprise visit from Shua our friend we worked with in the summer of 97 to drive in from Arkansas and stay the weekend! I fondue’d for the first time and I believe it was a success.

There were many many an eclectic folk here, and while I feel like I need to be better at introducing people and helping them find their place at the party, I think it was ok. I will work on that in the future. As well as having a photographer handy. No pictures. not one single shot. That sucks. So for the summer gathering, we’ll be better at that.

For those of you that came, thank you! For those of you that missed it, you were missed!

Shua left this morning. Chrome left a few hours ago. I am still in my pajamas. Just finished the last bit of Oceans Thirteen. slurp. I need to run some money thru the bank but that is the only thing I have today until comedy tonight.

Tomorrow we have the Holiday Bowl game. Oklahoma State! Wahoo! then holy crap. it’s NYE. I was going to entertain again, but ya’ll….I’m kind of done with it. For the year. So I am having dinner with M’Lynn and the Gal Pals, then I don’t have any plans.

what are you doing???

I’m moving to the couch now. Happy Monday.

So. I went to bed early last night. Seems to be something I’ve been doing lately. early to bed early to rise…but this morning the big wave of weather swept thru the plains and it came a frog strangler!!! Hail! Wind! Wet Cats! 4:30 am and we’re up, we’re awake! gah…

so the cats came in, and laid on the towel I put down for them to dry on. I did the dishes and started some laundry and facebooked a little then went back to the bed. Slept a few more hours and back up. Coffee, glorious coffee, and some sausage balls for breakfast with just a bite of dressing. I know. I’ve put the roast on to cook and am here, really, to just do a mental checklist for tonights party. I have lost some steam and by sitting here, watching the Band of Brothers marathon on the History Channnel, I feel like I”m doing something productive. Let’s see what we’ve got to do yet, shall we?

pick up house and vaccume. (just a few bits left on that)
grocery store and liquor store
prep chili and fondue
sweep out garage and set up some chairs
set up bar area in back room

methinks that’s all really. just the rest of the cooking, which can’t be done till later this afternoon anyways. so, ok. I’m doing good on time. fabulous.

I’ll just tuck in here a little while longer for some rest, then get up and get showered and go to the store.

Did I tell you I’m doing fondue? bought myself two pots yesterday. have perused the interweb for recipes, both cheese and chocolate. I’ve been hardpressed to find some without alcohol. I have recovering alcoholics in the mix tonight and while I know that the alcohol cooks out…gah. rather just not go there. anyways, I think I found two really slurpy good ones. Will report on that tomorrow!

Home from the holiday. Home and unpacked and scattered from one end of the house to the other. Had a grand time with Wonderboy and Wonderbaby. Wii’d ourselves silly. Ate as if your lives depended on it. Brought tons home for Chromecoming 08 and for snacking next week. Fed the livestock and am settling in on my couch to enjoy the tree for a bit longer.

Tomorrow brings cleaning and picking up and prepping for the party. I enjoy stuff like that. Facetime with friends. Everybody gets to share in the crazy.

I hope you are enjoying the aftermath of the holiday, maybe you’re snuggled up at home, someone elses or your own. Maybe you are with family, or with friends or both. Maybe you’re catching your first glimpse of quiet this week. I raise this glass of sprite zero and toast you my friends.

Enjoy.

Gah. Just got the phone call. Wonderboy telling me he got a Wii from Santa and oh my gosh we have some playin to do so get on over here fast Aunt Zelda FAST!!!!!

I’m gulping coffee and taking a moment on the computer to wake up. Once I go over there I have to fight the kid for comptuer time. anyways…WEEEE for a Wiiiii!!! There will be fun photos to share I’m sure.

Last night was good for me. came to Mom’s house, snacked on some good snacks, talked and curled up with Milli the wonderdog. Decided to just sleep here and so, as part of tradition had myself a little helping of the xanax and went right to sleep. at 8:30!!!!! GOD I love some good sleep.

so, I’m off to my sisters. I have to de-bone the turkey. Contrary to the fact that she has two children and I have none, she doesn’t touch bones and I can do it with my eyes closed.

heh heh heh. little family humor!!!

Merry Christmas to all of you. I love you for being a part of the Circus, and part of my life. May your day be full of blessings that continue thruought the next year.

I’ll be back here when I can! I’m going back home tomorrow and then it’s Chromecoming 08 on Satuday so will have lot’s to report. But for today….peace.

Peace.

All set! have successfully putzed and lazed and picked up and laundried the morning away and into the afternoon. Things left to do.

actually pack some clothing items and cleaning bits.
put stuff in car.
feed and water cats. clean toilet so that they can drink tomorrow.
clean and clothe myself.
get gas in Bella.
deliver one last pressie
get on the road
stop at the QT in Tulsa for coffee and tinkle break
drive on.
arrive at Bella Vista around dinner time
visit and relax
play Canta Slaus tonight…can anyone say Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you are all where you need to be. I hope you’re not still stuck in traffic or in airports. I hope you have a full and blessed Christmas. I hope I see a lot of your faces on Saturday night. I hope that you get some good foods and some good love and some good laughing. I must be off of this machine, else I’ll never get on the road.

Merry Christmas ya’ll!!!

with much love,
Zelda

I don’t write things here to hurt you.
I don’t write things here for you at all.
I don’t write things here to subtly try to tell you how I feel.

If you are one of the four blessed humans that have been given the role of a parent in my life then you know I don’t have a lot of patience in censors. or in patience.

this is a place for me.
I welcome your visiting the circus.
I love that you read my words and my thoughts and my heart.
It gives us a chance to know.

The previous post, and each and every post up until now and every post in the future is mine. It is not censored. It isn’t anything but me. I don’t put things here to harm or to hurt or to poke. I put the words here to heal. Me. Me. Me. ME. MINE.

My circus of crazy. My circus of nuckin futs. My circus of FAMILY.

So. Please. read. laugh. comment. enjoy.
and with all of that know and damnit I mean KNOW that nothing here is poking or jabbing or nanny nanny boo booo ing. I’m not trying to tell you something between the lines. I don’t do lines. I am a right brained Scorpio who happens to be a blonde educated hair stylist. I don’t do lines.

What I want to convey, most succinctly is this. I don’t do anything here to hurt you. . . but times…and there are times…I am hurt. I AM HURT. Me me me me. Myspace. Myface. myblog.

read at your own risk. because…

that
is
how
i
write.

with love.

Around this time of year, I do a lot of thinking. A lot of stressing. A lot of laughing and a lot of reflection on the previous year. As a person genetically predispositioned to hate any type of good-bye, it’s a little weird that I love the last few weeks of a year as much as I do. The impending fresh start is what gets me through.

Anyways, this week I’ve been reminiscing a lot about family. What it is? What does it consist of. What exactly does it mean to be a part of one. . . sharing blood and DNA? sharing life or death experiences? a last name or a bed? showing tears and fears and emotions usually kept under wraps? public farting? private fighting? Is is the person who used to spank the life blood out of you to teach you lessons, or the person who gave quiet advice and understanding? Which of these are family…I ask you.

For those of you that know me, that have spent any amount of time with me, you know that the holidays are the best of times and the worst of times. And if anyone out there thinks that there is a time limit for children of divorce to “get over it” then you clearly are not a child of divorce, adult or not. Not to mention a child of two. And look, folks, I’m not holding a pity party for myself and inviting you to come along for the cheery ride. I’m just telling you that for the last twenty or so years, Christmas has been fucked up twelve ways from Sunday. It’s stressful. It’s crazy. It’s early or it’s late or it’s a day or it’s a few hours or it’s sometimes…not at all. It makes my heart hurt, and it makes me cry and makes me long for a family of my own to make happy instead of trying to make everyone else’s day happy. I get strung out like a paint huffer at Home Depot. But–it’s life. It’s what it was, is, and always will be. It’s been this way longer than it hasn’t.

Christmas, as taught by my mom, is when we can be together. The week before, or the actual day, or a few hours here then a few days there. It’s about family. And about love and light and blessings and recognizing the love that is all around. It’s grabbing a beer with your best friend for an hour and just laughing. That’s Christmas with Family. or unloading furniture in the dark of night after a ridiculous drive from Texas…that’s Christmas with Family. or sitting across a table and watching someone perform onstage and being the only one getting the jokes…that’s Christmas with Family…or looking at your phone and seeing the texts asking if you’re ok…that’s Christmas with Family…it’s hanging and then re-hanging lights on a house on consecutive weekends because it is important…that is Christmas with Family…it’s making umpteen phone calls saying what are you bringing? what can I bring? who brought the wine?…that’s Christmas with Family…it’s having a house full of people, friends old and new even after the 25th is long gone…that’s Christmas with Family. it’s knowing that you are loved. Truly loved. by people who are blood and by people who would get bloody for you.

This is a hard time of year for a lot of people. Some days, I’m included in that. People are worried about money and are losing jobs and are figuring out how to just get out of bed every day. Some days…I’m included in that too. It’s easy to hurt feelings and it’s easy to get hurt because it’s easy to focus on what I don’t have. yet. anymore. But then I stop, and get really quiet and clear, and realize that yes. I am loved. I am blessed. Christmas with Family…I wish you love and light and blessings and laughter this week. Remember…you are mine. I am yours.

family.

COMEDY TONIGHT!!!

Got a group of about eleven showing up for Mr BradChad Porter and his hootinanny-ness. My friend from high school should be arriving any minute.
nervous? who me?
BLEAGH. I haven’t seen him in twenty years.
do these jeans make me look fat?

don’t just SAY that. LOOK!!!

Ok. thanks.

Oh and I cut bangs. Heavy straight across bangs like we all had in the third grade. I fuckin love em. Hides the wrinkles. Ten years…right off my face. Brilliant move. Thanks MGirl!!!

what else?

Finished my Christmas shopping today. Got everything I need. Now, just throwing shit in fancy schmancy gift bags and Onward Christian Soldiers!!! marchingofftowar…you know you were singing it too! Just think kids, this time next week it’ll all be over. Well. Except for Chromecoming ’08. That’ll be a week from tomorrow!!!

I’m just babbling while I wait for him to arrive. I feel gassy. What the fuck? GASSY? NOW????

unbelievable.

So I got my new bed last night for the guest room! Roger, after what could only be described as a very “trying” drive up, got here a little after seven last night and we unloaded, went out to the garage and putzed around with the opener and whatnot, went to Sophabella’s for some pasta for dinner and then he headed back. He was going to stay the night, but would have had to leave by 7 this morning and that would have put him right smack in the middle of drive time. Gah. So…He came, he gifted, we ate, we laughed and he left. Our time together is always, all too short.

So now, in the back room which is a liberary slash office slash catch all I’ve got the bed bits. In my head, I have put the futon from the guest room back there and it’s still like a relaxed lazy laying reading place. And the first room is decked out with real bed and bedding bla bla bla. HOWEVER…the futon cover matches the guest room perfectly and the bedding they sent? you guessed it. Goes with the back room paint perfectly. I decided to not move anything until my fam gets here this weekend. Lucky you guys!!! because Bonusdad has moved that futon a million times and can do it in his sleep. It’ll just be easier that way.

Today is my day to get my list’s accomplished. What list’s you say? Gah. I have the final bits for presents to buy, this won’t be difficult, it just needs to be DONE. Then I need gifts for one neice, two nephews and some last bits for wrapping. Also need a grocery store run. Just a few provisions for the weekend and first part of next week. I’ll save the party shopping for when I get back. Oh yeah, we’re all set for the Chromecoming party. HA! get it! Chrome/Homecoming. wait. that could read dirty. Ok.whatver. I’ve been awake since five am. I dunno. don’t ask. I was having severe conversations with someone in my dream and apparently just woke up in the middle.

so anyways, I leave work at 4 today to get that stuff done. also taking back the garage door opener, getting all that finally returned and credited. That will feel good to just get the lists and their lists taken care of.

Tonight the Colts play. Mgirl and I are going to relax and watch a bit of football. Even Mandrea is coming out! woot woot!! Tomorrow night is Loony Bin, for my friend Brad. He’s hosting. I’ve got a table of about 6 that’s coming. An old friend from high school is making his way down from Tulsa area to join in on the festivities as well. I feel like we should ALL have a belly laugh going into next week! so, where are we? oh yeah, comedy tomorrow. Family arrives and we festivus with the Steps on Saturday night. Sunday consists of festivus gathering with step brothers and their kids, then that evening/afternoon with Bonusmom on the Frontier!YAY!!! I can’t wait! I haven’t seen her for quality time in what seems like forever. I don’t know when the fam is heading back, Monday morning I think. At that point, I feel like I’m going to move my friend Whit into the guest room. She’s having emergency tooth removal tomorrow and lives in a frozen tundra with an ungodly roomate who is diabetic and almost dies on any given day ending in Y. This is not the place one needs to convalece. I’m going to try to talk her into staying at my casa during the time I’m gone. I mean, come on. It’s warm. It’s cozy. She can feed the livestock…it might be a good deal.

Next week…damn. Crazy that it’s here. I’ll travel Wed and come home Friday. Saturday is party. Sunday…and Monday, I rest. whew! c-c-c-c-c-c-c-crazy this life of mine! Oh well. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh, guess what else I got in my goodies last night? A feather bed!!! That baby is going on MY bed. I was always “allergic” to feathers growing up, but I’ve seemed to have grown out of that particular ailment. Kikimama has already claimed it, inside the box, as her own personal throne, so we’ll have some adjustments there but I can only imagine how gushy and comfy that’s gonna be!

yes. i realize I’m rambling and random and have the focus of a bee on crack…I’ve been awake awhile and COFFEE is my favorite.

Did I mention Tuesday’s holiday gathering of the Purple Pool/Glamor Gals? Yes. Indeed. it was lovely. On a school night even. Wine, delicious food, lots of conversation. It was so good to see everyone. Life gets wicked busy and it’s good to connect and have facetime.

What else??? My friend called yesterday from the theatre to say, “I want to put a bug in your ear about this upcoming show I’m directing…you’re a little young for the role but we could make it work…” GOOD GOD I’m ready to be back onstage. FOR REALS!!!

Ok guys. I’m just bumping around the Circus worse than a pinball so I’ll close. Gonna head on over to weather dot com and see what next weekend will be like! Gotta party to plan dontcha know!

Happy Happy Day!

Happy Humping Day ya’ll!

got a lot on my plate today. deposit check, pay some bills, return garage door opener and get money back from that and the installation that didn’t happen. do some clients. wonder if I’ll get any more appointments this evening, and if not, skedaddle out of there early.

Roger is coming up and bringing the guest bedroom furniture. What a saint, right? we’re going to go to dinner and have some good not-rushed facetime. that’ll be fabulous.

At some point I have to hit the grocery store and BUY STUPID TRASHBAGS!! and other provisions for the weekend as well as get some Christmas shopping done. Possibly during the day today or tomorrow. Am feeling the crunch a bit today.

Got the event created for Chrome’s party! Hope everyone comes out to greet and laugh. That’ll be the Saturday after Christmas. Woot! Woot! fun fun fun.

Ok guys, I have to get ready and get some stuff done before heading to work. Hope your humping day is full of fun and joy. and humping.