Oh the roller coaster of life.

Yesterday, I had my head wrapped tightly around what I wanted to happen with the windows and with the financing and was standing firm without budging. Plans Schmans. I’m UP!

So…I got the windows I wanted. I’m UP! The basic kind, uber insulated and wrapped so no more painting or rotting of the wood. no grids, no full screens, no fanch schmancy bells and whistles. just some good, solid windows that will save me money in the long run. After I got my mind wrapped around that chunk of money…I’m DOWN. then UP again! because it’s a good thing and I have the escrow money to put onto it…and tax refund…

my re-fi guy calls basically just to stir my pot. it’s a holiday, so banks and market are all closed so there really isn’t anything that he can tell me other than due to MY higher insurance (my house is old folks. it is. and to get complete coverage to rebuild, plus a deductable that I can feasably come up with…well it is what it is. I even called a client that told me the same rate last week) and something else that he estimated being lower than it was, things aren’t working out. The rates haven’t dropped he says…I don’t know. All he did was just stir me up and say, I’ll call tomorrow with answers. good. grief. why call at all??? I am SO DOWN. DOWN DOWN DOWN.

So I just get a grip. If I’m not meant to re-fi right now, I’ll quit trying to push the round thing into the square thing. ok. I’m up again.

Laundry throughout the day is making me feel accomplished. I’m UP! the shit ton of water gurgling up thru the drain and running out the garage into the driveway is making me feel scared. I’m DOWN! I make some calls and texts and think it just needs to be snaked. I’ll call my friend from the bar days this week. I’m BACK UP!

I get a call from my friends dad regarding the fence. There’s trees that need to come down. the fence is 1900 bucks. I’m so DOWN. But maybe. . . someway. . . .

I’ve cleaned out the pantry, reorganized it, done dishes, vaccumed and folded laundry, changed the sheets on my bed, put a few pictures in frames, started the organizing of my papers with the folders I bought…I’m UP again!

kids…have you in your whole entire lives seen such a one woman show of CRAZY?????

After rehearsal last night, (which went well) I just collapsed. Still cant breathe much, but the trusted neti pot is helping!

I know that I have made good decisions regarding the house. The fence, what i want so badly…may just have to wait. There’s not a lot I can do about it right now. I’m just going to sit tight and wait for some answers and clarity!

Happy Tuesday to you!

Champion windows is the big winner!!!

so. it’s about 2000 more than I wanted, but still very doable. All 8 windows, wrapped and installed, fancy schmancy 8 layers of super fabulous everything, guaranteed for as long as I own the home, screens, double hung. Wahoo! I did get the 40% off for Presidents day. I also got $200 off in lieu of the money matching promo that is happening at the showroom. $300 yard sign agreement (I put up a yard sign two months a year for 3 years), then 5% off for writing testamonials and 5% off for agreeing to talk to anyone interested in hearing testimonals. He really worked to get me into a price I could live with. All of this is depending on financing. I gave 100 cash today, with a check for 400 pending my escrow money when I get it. My plan is to put escrow money in another savings, along with half of this years tax refund. throughout the year I’ll add to it, then if I need to use next years refund as well and pay it all off next spring!

And I will have windows that open! And will be so much more efficient! I’m super psyched.

Yeah, I know I wanted a new computer and a trip to the beach, but whatever. I’m a homeowner now. This is how I roll.

Just had my first estimate for windows. This guy was from Pella. He looked around, gave me the brochure and specials, then left and will email me my estimate in a few hours. Next up is Champion. This is who I’m really wanting to come thru. . . because they are running a special for President’s day. 40% off an order of 6 or more windows. Here’s what I want to happen. I want for my total order, including the 40% off to come to 3000 or less. Then I want to finance it with their 12 months no payments no interest. THEN when I close on my house next week, I will take my escrow money, put it in the bank, not touch it till this comes due next year, add along the way, and throw in what I need to of my tax refund next year and pay them off! VOILA! but I want other estimates too…this afternoon is Public Supply. M’Lynn has had two of her people use them and really like them so. . . we’ll see!

I’ve also got a friend who’s dad builds fences. They came by and had a cookie lookie this weekend and he is going to add up the cost bla bla bla. I’m still not convinced that I can’t build this…OH plus, one of my neighbors is going halfsies with me on one side, and hopefully the owner of the other house will do the same!

I’m also getting estimates and names of someone to blow some more insulation up in the attic. We’re getting Casa Zelda spiffed and efficient!!!

ok. I’m cleaning and cooking and re-organizing my kitchen including mopping and cooking for the week. Hope your Monday is a good one. maybe you are on holiday! maybe not. Either way…we’re one day closer to SPRING!!!

just been running around, kind of in my own head this week. work was busy, but I missed second commission by 42 dollars!!! gah! oh well. I’m happy to make the first one.

Friday night was PseudoSis2’s husband’s 30th birthday party. it was a surprise and while he kind of knew about it, everyone had a great time! it was lots of fun and good to see friends!

Valentines day was busy at work and the evening was supposed to go like this: work. eat Indian food (red dot not woo woo) with MGirl, Numskullery and ElephantSoap, then head to the comedy club to see some of the Redhead’s MC skills.

I didn’t get reservations in time and both shows sold out. gah. that sucked. The Red Dot food was brilliant and I will do that again. However, my allergies blew up all day Saturday and my nose was so clogged that I couldn’t taste too well, then the spices made it run so I was kind of a mess. MGirl peeled off to do her thing and the three of us headed down to the Warren Theatre to catch a movie.

SOLD OUT. everything. until the 10pm shows.

We decided to hang out at my house, and watch the mini-series that started the sci fi series Battlestar Galactica. OH SO GOOD!!!. I’m such a sci-fi geek anyways. we didn’t get all three hours finished last night because I was falling asleep with a head the size of Texas. sinus schminus. I finished it this morning and want MORE MORE MORE!!!

Today was supposed to be full of deep cleaning and organization. But I felt like shit for the majority of it. I did hit the big wal-mark for provisions such as my new Neti Pot.
Elephantsoap has been telling me I needed one for awhile now, and so it goes. it’s weird. And feels funky, but the thought of getting my sinus cavity cleaned out without blowing up or drying up my head…I kind of like it. I napped for the rest of the afternoon on sinus meds. Woke up to make myself some blueberry pancakes and have just kind of loafed the rest of the night. I’ve picked up and put up but the rest will have to wait till tomorrow. . . which is full of window guys giving estimates. I have a 9, a 10 and a 1pm appointment. Rehearsal tomorrow night. Full day.

which is why I should prolly hit the sack. tired. tired of sneezing. So have a good night. I’m out.

I saw the story about the guy giving the bottle of water yesterday, and was so touched...then I saw this...and it makes me really happy. I wanted you to be happy too!

missed posting yesterday, it was a weird day. we had some major weather here in the Plains. Lots of tornados, bam bam ba blam! one after another. pretty bad. took the back end off of the chuck e cheese here in the city! I was just there on Saturday!! crazy. The bands that went through last night were especially devistating, resulting in deaths I believe.

You always know if it was bad or not if Matt Lauer talks about you in the morning! But today is clear. Breezy and wet, but clear. So there’s that.

I’ve been suffering from some sneezing and allergy bits, but whatever. It’s pseudo spring in Ok, it’s part of the routine!

Monday night we had our first read thru for the play. The woman who plays opposite me, whom I’m never without onstage…up and quit. Just didn’t show up and when called, said she quit. GAH. so our director has some idea of another actor. last night we were supposed to work, but cancelled due to weather. We’re off all next week because the director teaches at the arts high school here and they are putting up their musical. This means…ohhhhh two weeks LESS of rehearsal times. GAH!!! Nerve wracking. seriously. But I’m not going to borrow trouble. It will all work out. I’m just ready to get into this, and it looks like we’re another two weeks out of doing that, so its frustrating.

talked to my dad last night about some work on the house. I’m about to leave you to google insulation installation. I’m going to add more insulation in the attic to help with the bills. I also have a window guy coming out next week to give me an estimate…here’s what I’m thinking about that. It’s President’s Day, so big sale. If I can get a really good deal, buy two get one free kind of thing, and the price is affordable, then I may just get all 8 replaced and either use the money from my escrow account that I get back upon closing the re-fi, or just do the twelve months no interest/payments and use the tax rebate next year to pay it off. I think doing those two things will make amazing differences in the heating/air bills this year. Old houses just not that efficient. so, lot’s of possibilities going on there.

That’s it from here. I’m off to research insulation. Happy Humping Day!

How was your weekend??? It was just fine here, the weather has made everyone happy, we got some storms around 4 this morning so the cats are clean and the outside is fresh! Ahhhhh! Don’t get me wrong. I’ve lived in this state long enough to know not to bust out the flip flops just yet. We still have about 5 or 6 weeks of it left, but whatever. We get these intermittent doses that keep us alive and I’ll take everyone of them!

The week finished up nice and busy for me. Also a factor in my happy mental state. The redhead and I went up to Guthrie for a play and had just a great night. When we got there, three of our other friends showed up so we all hung out and were funny together. The girl we went to see that was in the play met up with us after for more laughs and a drink or two. It was fabulous!

Yesterday was another good one for me. I overslept so did not get to inspect the other church I wanted to, however I watched a little GodTV and listened to words that hit the target and carried me thru, so it was ok! I had play committee meeting and we SELECTED OUR 2010 SEASON!!!…all but one show. We are still STILL hung up on a show that will serve as our student matinee. GAH. We cannot scrap this idea because we get grant money from the state arts as well as the fact that we are courting our future audiences! There’s a lot tied into this so we have to figure it out. In the past, we’ve done Picnic (classic piece/author) The Chosen (historical) this year its my show dealing with civil rights…we walk the line of overdone (Anne Frank) poorly done elsewhere (Shakespeare) dried up and boring (check out the reading lists for high schools) and dang it. We are stuck. We’re taking two weeks to look around, grab scripts and read…someone suggested Copenhagen, or Frost/Nixon, or Rock & Roll by Stoppard, and those are great suggestions but who knows if we can do them. Everybody send any suggestions if you have them!

I’m meeting with my re-fi guy at 11 today, then home for some tidying up, perhaps a bit of laundry. I have about 4 dollars to my name, which could get me into the cheap afternoon movie should I choose…who knows where the day will take me. Tonight is my first read-thru/rehearsal with the cast. I’m super excited. Details on that later!

Happy Monday everyone! MUAH!

So last night?

SO MUCH FUN!!! And somewhat boring. But SO MUCH FUN!!!

Gert had to work at the War Bar, which is great. More beans for the pot. So Joe and I trolled out to the tv station around 5:45 and met some of my people from the theatre. The whole night was C2 volunteers, but I knew a handful of them. Saw some people I’d done shows with in the past, met some new people. Joe knew people from previous jobs and current film gigs. We laughed. We got a nice (free) meal of bbq from a local restaurant. There was endless snacks and sodas. Pretzels and goldfish and m&m’s…yeah. I felt crappy for that. gah.

Anyways, turns out a Friday night isn’t a high rollin time during the Festival 09. I took maybe 3 or 4 calls, but whatever. It was giving back to a group that gave us all Sesame Street and Electric Company and Mr. Rogers. It was a great way to spend a Friday night and not spend one thin dime. I am totally doing it next year, and Joe is going to get the Film Council to do a night. WE LOVE PBS!!!

Today is my Friday, and I have a decent book of appointments and it’s gonna be in the mid 70’s here. BEAUTIFUL. Tonight is Barefoot In The Park with the redhead, with a 4yr old birthday party squeezed in there somewhere!!!

I hope you have a great Saturday. I hope you’re experiencing the Thaw and just a titch of our Spring Awakening.

MUAH!

Oh GLORIOUS DAY!!!! it’s in the upper 70’s here today thru Sunday, finishing off my weekend with thunderstorms! Perfection. I got up this morning and went for a brisk walk in my neighborhood…a little breezy but man I felt good about some fresh air and sunshine! Coffee and morning readings…I’ve postponed my Artist’s Way…anyone else surprised by that??? I have a script to memorize…and while I may work the morning pages and exercises to some extent, my focus will be my LINES! My LINES!!!

Tonight, for those in the local area, or for those of you that can get OETA/PBS look for me and Joe and Gert on the telly answering phones! Yep! ON THE TV! We’ll be volunteering for Carpenter Square and what a neat experience! stories about that to come for sure! Tomorrow is working, and JackRyders birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. I’ll run by for an hour or so after work. This is PseudoSister2’s first child. Summer time playmate to Wonderboy. Anyways, after that the redhead and I are going to see a play at The Pollard. Sunday is trying out another church and then play committee and theatre stuff…I hope that somewhere in that I can get outside again.

I’ve got an update on the re-fi situation. My new guy is AMAZING. he emailed me a Good Faith Estimate within 24 hours of my first conversation with him. I’ve got my fabulous Kath on the project as advisor and I feel good about it. Hopefully this will work out in the right time and I can get a really crazy low interest rate and all will be well. happily ever after.

Ok, the weather has made even the cats crazy. Sambo and Kikimama are chasing around in and out like they are possessed by demons. Good. Grief.

Anyone else have a problem with the woman who has 14 children thru in vitro??? WHO’S PAYING FOR THAT?!?!?! I’ve had family and friends have to give up on that because of the expense…gah. fourteen. and she is younger than I am.

Ok. Not going to end on a bla note, today is CHRIS’S BIRTHDAY!!!!! I love this man. We go back to the USAO college days, on the stage, off the stage, drinking coffee, English classes, writing lab…he and his wife are two of my favorite humans on the planet. Chris, have a fabulous day dear! Many blessings on you and yours!

it feels as if no matter how we try, how we grow and learn, it’s always two steps forward-five steps back. GAH. How? Why? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????

I was talking to BoobVicki at work yesterday when she came in for her appointment, and her husband got laid off. Everybody is really struggling. I know we all are. Chrome’s dodging cutbacks, Gert and Joe are hanging on and hanging out, I’m living on the corner of Wanna Lick-Psyche and Skin of My Teeth…and I get really disappointed. and angry and frustrated and I know you’ve heard it all before so just skim if you want but this is where it comes out…

I get really angry that I’m doing this alone. And not that just being a part of a pair I would necessarily have a) extra income or b) handy abilities around the house or c) omniscient powers but I would have someone to bounce things off of. Do you think? Should we try? how do you think we could? —and please don’t think I’m mourning for Ex-Him or…well, any member of the Ex-Him club whatsoever. I do not mourn the loss of any of them in my life. They are gone for a reason and it’s the right one. I just always saw my life…differently.

And before you stick your fist down your throat to induce vomiting, let me just follow that up with this little jewel…maybe different isn’t so bad. Maybe this is exactly what my life was supposed to look like, despite free will and choices and jumping on the tour with the circus…maybe this is EXACTLY what I was supposed to be doing at 38 years old. And maybe this is what it will look like for the long road. Slowly…slowly that nugget of knowledge is taking root in my heart…and growing stronger. Validity. Fine. I’m fine.

Sometimes I think I’m completely bi polar, and the manic phase just lasts longer than the others…because when I am knee deep in the Bleagh it’s really really difficult to crawl out. And I’ve been there for a few weeks now. Sigh. But there is light. There just is. And for whatever the reason, I’ve been inching towards it bit by bit. So that’s something to report.

Another report from the bright side, through the wonders of Facebook, I’ve found an old friend. A friend from the Wyoming Summers. He’s a brilliant human, full of life and will laugh harder at a good joke than anyone I know. He’s also a great writer, and his topics are usually food, wine, cooking, life, love, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…check him out

Did you catch last nights ep of LIFE? slurp. still wiping the drool off my chin. Lawd lawd lawd, that’s one big hangin man. sigh.

Huzzuah and Halakaleem and let’s not forget though the redheads are my kryptonite…my heart belongs to George. Everyone who remembers that raise your hand…