I missed Love Thursday yesterday. As any of you can attest, my mind is otherwise unavailable for consultation. Today, though, I’m playing Thankful Friday.

Today I am thankful for my friends Elephantsoap and Numskullery. For they set an example with effortless grace of what I want to be. They offer no judgement, yet can call foul and set things straight without burning anything. They give love. Relentless, graceful, hysterical, love. I want to be them.

Today I am thankful for LT and Mgirl. Whether it’s under the gazebo or at the round table this trio has become another saving grace. We talk. We laugh. We get it. We bless it and let it go. We feel better and are better because of it.

Today I am thankful for the rest of my tribe, spread out across the land. For each one of them.

Today I am thankful for Wonderboy who sends me his school papers to view. Stars! 100%’s! He’s brilliant!

Today I am thankful for my family. For the opportunity to see them next week.

Today I am thankful for my job which is offering flu shots this morning. I will have one. yes. Ouch. yes.

Today I am thankful for my house. It’s kind of wrecked but I love it.

Today I am thankful that it’s Friday and that tomorrow I will Race For The Cure with my BonusMom and company. I love this day.

Today, I am thankful for you. Thank you for reading.

Today, I am just thankful.

and for those keeping track? I’m still crazy. I’ve got some conversations to get out of my head and onto the table. But I think it’ll be ok. I truly truly do…

Oh and one more thing?

I’m thankful for him.

so my sis commented yesterday that 9 out of 10 patients admitted to the hospital sighting “mental status changes” are diagnosed with a UTI.

that is some SERIOUS shit, people! and truly explains a lot. By the end of yesterday I was not fun or happy or bueno in any shape or form. We went to eat at Cheesecake Factory, then home and just flop. I could barely speak! He’s too kind.

anyways, today is a brand new day. I feel better. I need to get up and get ready, but the rain, oh the rain is preventing any sort of productive movement in this house.

I’m going to get up now. I’m going to get myself together and get to work and bang some hair and make some money and be grateful for all that I’ve got going on. I’m going to try to take my cranky pants off and put them WAAAAAY back in the back of my closet.

That’s what I’m going to do. What are you going to do today?

My crazy was hanging out yesterday. Turns out, I had a bladder infection/uti kind of thing going on that progressed from Wha? to HOLY MOTHER OF GOD in about 5 hours. I got some meds, had some antibiotics called in, home and in bed by 8:30. This morning, I do feel better. Physically. Mentally. I do.

In the middle of my crazy yesterday, I got some emailings with Abbylicious in NYC. thank the good tech world for the crackberry! She gave me some sage words of wisdom that I’d like to share here:

No, you’re not crazy. Let’s break this down:

*You’re quitting smoking. It’s really hard. It requires many, many deep breaths and a decision pretty much every hour on the hour to not smoke that hour. And that’s a lot of decisions to make.

*Even though your brain gets it, the core of you doesn’t actually understand the difference between good change and bad change. Almost all people, even freewheelin’ girls like yourself, crave the status quo. So change has come in and thrown you for a total loop. The reunion was like three weeks ago, and since then your whole world has turned itself upside down. Your routines are out of whack, your future is colored enormously differently and your core is saying OH HOLY FUCK I DID NOT SIGN ANY FORMS TO APPROVE THIS and you’re paying some attention by having a bit of a nutty.

This from a woman who I’ve had facetime with exactly three times. Isn’t that a gift? I’m so blessed.

Thank you Abbylicious. It’s true. It’s good. I’m fine and feeling much better today.

I need more coffee. Tons of water and some breakfast so I can take my pee pee meds.

Happy Humping Day Ya’ll. You’re half way there!!! Tuck your chin, and hang on tight.

I just checked my Twitter…I’ve been remiss as of late. My last tweet was 15 days ago.

FIFTEEN DAYS AGO.

this is significant, why? Because that was the first full day with Boyfriend. I was on the couch with the Emmys and pizza and him and I was happy.

FIFTEEN DAYS AGO.

This weekend was nuts. The last two weekends have been nuts. I’ve worked events both Saturday nights. There hasn’t been much room for socializing. I’ve become very aware at how many changes I’ve been going through. and I began to hyperventilate a little.

Lotta changes.
Quitting the smoking. again. I can’t get on birth control until I do. I’m to old. (insert any remark you feel here. God knows I have)
Lot’s of change comes along with that, physically, psychologically, bla bla bla. But I’m doing good.

We drove around and looked at houses in Batshitcrazytown this weekend. I’m having a little panic about that move. But we both agreed on a new house. We’ll build a new house in one of the new neighborhoods…and that’s nice. We really are on the same page about the big things.

I was there all weekend long and I have to say, I was happy to come home last night. I’ve been tired and missing my livestock, and worried about Kizz and thinking about the weather…(it’s birthday weather here. mine. gerts. chromes. mgirls. and it’s pretty powerful) and I have to say I felt a little guilty at feeling so good about being home.
and I wonder, Wha? Who? When? Wha???? OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!

and then I sign onto Twitter and I see that it’s only been

FIFTEEN DAYS.

and I get another cuppa joe and sip and enjoy the way life rolls around. and I start to concentrate on merging these two things in my head. and I can breathe a little easier.

I met his parents tonight. it was just fine and dandy, for real. They are hometown, homespun, normal folk. just like their son. we ate mexican food and talked a bit and laughed a bit and at the end it was just fine.

I’m home in my space tonight. I’ve not been here since Friday night. The weather change, (it’s cold and damp and overcast and fall-ish) has kicked in my nesting instincts, but THIS is where I nest. Not there. Not yet.

We had more conversations about housing and buying and building and money and debt and the future…lot’s of stuff covered. . . I’m tired.

it’s a lot.
I’m still in. all in. but it’s a lot. so I’m thankful for my bed with my cats and my computer and my crockpot full of ham and beans and the cornbread I’m making for dinner tomorrow…all of that good good good.

Keep sending love to Kizz. Life has changed, she’s a member of the club now, and we all know it sucks.

I’m out. happy sleepin’

Our beloved Emily went away yesterday. Kizz sent word in the late evening and I immediatly called her to touch base. We both cried all the way to Batshitcrazytown and more than anything I wanted to transport myself into her apartment and give her the biggest hug…

You know the drill kids. Give your beloved babies a little extra love today. An extra scooby snack, all the moist food they can scarf down. Love them a little more, and send the rest of your love over to my Kizz.

is unloading the dishwasher and re-loading the sumbitch with dishes from this week.

What I am currently doing:
facebooking.
listening to Lady Antebellum
waiting for the boyfriend to arrive from Batshitcrazytown and begin Operation Meet & Greet: Phase One.

we’re going up to the bar tonight. Bar friends. Work friends. The first wave of introductions to the people that comprise my tribe.

I’m excited. I’m nervous, why? I dunno. I’ve brought exactly zero men to this gathering table. One kind of, and well, we all watched that fizzle out like a sparkler that went on for a little too long and got boring…but this one is for reals.

Meanwhile, work has been great this week. Payday was not hateful as it was the previous time around. Tomorrow is pretty slow, however I bartend a wedding at Batshitcrazytown tomorrow night.

I’m meeting his parents Monday night. He’s a little more freaked out about this than I am. I mean, it’s inevitable, so why wait, eh? Indeed.

The livestock is PISSED about all of this, I have to say. The upset in the schedule has garnered me with hateful looks, flicks of the tail, some F words and a hairball or two. I’ve been sucking up to them by feeding them moist food every single time anyone meow’s.What can I say…I’m not above bribery,

Ok he just got here, so we’re heading. Wish me luck!

*if you’re squemish about reading my personal stuff just click that little arrow up there in the left hand corner right now. you’ve been warned.

So, in a few minutes I’m heading to the doctor for my annual exam. My friend at work, LT calls it getting “cranked open” and ya know? that’s about right. Gah. Bleargh. Bphlaugh. Not excited about this…however it’s been ohhhhhhhh about a handful or more years since I’ve made this trek and it’s a little nuts the things going around in my head…I’m just ready for it to be finished and get a clean bill of health and motor on into the day.

I haven’t been because, well, there’s been nothing going on in that arena for some time now, and I have no insurance. I know. I KNOW. Just pay it, fork it over and pay it. I am going to. I get my bartending $ today and will use that to make my first payment on my new shiny shiny computer and to pay for this oh so fun endeavor. I did make first commission yesterday, which will make up for the ugly little paycheck I got on the 15th.

Work is semi busy today…the whole month is crazy stupid busy. I just looked at my calendar and seriously folks…something every single weekend. I was booking appointments 6 weeks out yesterday…and it was November 11th. The day after my birthday. So that means in 6 weeks, I will have completed the Race for the Cure, Fall Fest, bartending at a wedding, the live event for the tv pilot, ghouls gone wild parade and smores & whores party at my house, star wars live in concert, traveling to chicago/wisconson for the theatre reunion, and my birthday.

woof.

Ok…I’m getting more coffee, hitting the shower and finding something appropriate to take off at the doctor’s office.

Gah.

Cranky pants? me thinks.