Crying Into My Napkin

Yesterday was a day full of conference sessions and tentative conversations and seeing friendly faces while being lost in a sea of snazzily dressed professionals from all across the state. Granted, I’m new to the conference life, the one academic conference I went two blew-who-whoooooo and was the first signal that the path I was on might really not be the one for me.

So it was a beautifully pleasant surprise that I LOVED this one. Loved the sessions on Work/Life Balance, Telling Your Story via Social Media, Non Profit 101 and a keynote speaker that had me THIS CLOSE to ugly crying in my industrial white napkin.

Have you heard of Bob Goff?

I was surprised when I had friends comment with recognition on Facebook. Well, not so surprised when Holly had already seen him speak and was feeding me podcasts featuring him because she is so in sync with where I want to be in life it’s cuckoo. But seriously. This guy. He was everything a speaker should be. He was energetic. He was entertaining and funny. He spoke on big themes that could be applied to whatever sector he was speaking to i.e. church groups, non-profit groups, businesses, schools, communities. He was heartfelt and self deprecating and whimsical and serious and by the end of his talk I was mopping my face ever so delicately with my white napkin. I was clapping and laugh-sobbing and had I not immediately needed to swoop into networking mode I might still be sitting there processing all that he said.

I went and bought his book last night. And one for Suzy for her birthday. I can’t wait to get to it, but I know for certain that things come to you at the right time. I was struggling with a few choices and issues and sitting through that luncheon yesterday it was as if he was speaking to me. It was as if he was saying, “Misti, LOVE BIG. What if you loved so big that it just dripped all over the place? What if you showed those in your life that you loved them so generously that they were moved to do the same for someone else? LOVE BIG! BE AWESOME! BE NOT AFRAID!!!”

There are moments in life where I just don’t get it. I am as dumb as a box of rocks and I just don’t get it.

Yesterday I got it.

What IF we loved so big that we left soggy footprints wherever we went, love dripping off of our clothes and out of our pockets? What IF we understood that failure and success doesn’t define us? What IF we tell people what they are instead of what they want to hear?

You are courageous. You are amazing. You are so smart. You are engaging and bright and witty and beautiful. You are a captain of smiles.

You. Are. Awesome.

What if, in that struggle for work/life balance that we just DECIDE to pay attention to the ones that we love? We just choose to stop being busy and love and reconnect and have an afternoon of sex, or pick up the phone and lay down a grudge or hurt feelings? What if we just choose that?

Yeah, I totally got it.