What I REALLY Wanted To Say Was…

man, I just think we all ought to get a free day.
the day sans censor.
no boundries, no limits, just whatever you feel like saying at the exact moment you want to say it.

But Zelda, you’re thinking, you ALREADY DO THAT EVERY SIGNLE DAY!

Not today I didn’t.

I just finished a client, she’s not really mine. She’s a ritzy schmantzy shiny shiny snotty old lady that lives in The Hills and comes in to get her hair shampooed and blown out before any events. I’ve had her in my chair before. Whatev. The conversation today was about this wedding she’s been to last weekend. Her best friends’ daughter’s wedding. It was just so HAPPY!!! The bride, well she was just so so so happy!

Aren’t ALL brides supposed to be happy? I mean, the ones who didn’t get traded for a mule and a handfull of leggos? Those brides, ehhh. Happy schmappy. But Tulsa brides, I”m just gonna suggest, are probably all happy.

WELL, says my client, her husband was just so happy too, and she’s just about as big as a barn, and he’s not fat at all and HE LOVES HER ANYWAY.

MY HAND TO GOD THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

he loves her anyway.

She continues to say that the girl, who is bigger than she and I put together, was just pretty in the face, not exceptionally pretty but just so happy that it didn’t matter. She mentioned her weight exactly six more times. I counted. It was all I could do to not burn the everloving FUCK out of her head. (there’s that language again, Anon…(comments from yesterdays post) I finished her hair and turned her around to show her and she said, Oh my, that was really fast!

because if I have to hear one more utterance out of that mouth of yours, I may, just may not get my weekend. I’ll be in jail.

OH MY GOD AND SHE’S GOT TWO BOYS! THIS IS WHERE IT COMES FROM!!!

I hope she gets an allergy what that requires massive doses of steriods to controll it and she blows up like a blowfish.

If I had that wish, I may not need the free day to say anything…

what’s your wish?