It is freakin ass cold here this morning. The livestock are cranky, brrr. high of 49, low of 25. Brrrrrr again I say. Brrrrr!!!

So all day yesterday, I was ass deep in the funk. Just like Pigpen. It was floating all around me.

But I had some good clients yesterday. I had a client from the day before call me to check on the date…bless her heart. Your comments were precious, every single one. Last night I had MGirl, Whit and her gay husband austin over for some pizza and a viewing of the Ricky Gervais HBO special and lots of laughter.

Thank GOD for friends.

So while on the porch with MGirl, I started to feel the funk lift, the laughter come back and realized it wasn’t THAT GUY, it was the HOPEFULLNESS that I had so much of…that was the disapointment about the whole thing. But I’m still hopefull. However, I”m on the bench till 09. Seriously. No more dating. Not that I do a lot of it, but I’m done for the year. For real. Gah. The fun tag on this story, is I talked to Delbert and she’s the one that set us up. She is ass deep in guilt and sorrow for even trying it, but apparently at work yesterday he sent her a text that said, “no..i just don’t think she can hang with me”

Yep.
Correctamundo.
I cannot hang with you.
with that.
gag.

Onwards. Upwards. Chin up boobs out! Halakaleem!

What else?

effing cold here.

Tomorrow night I get to go to the OKC Thunder game! Wahooooo!!! We’re playing our former team the New Orleans Hornets. It should be grand. I’ve never been to a pro game before, and wanted to get season tickets before I realized, I have no money. duh. So anyways…again…friends. So excited about that.

Seeing a play on Saturday night. Sunday is play committee meeting. I read one good one, and two tepid ones. boring. Then Mandrea and Mgirl and I are hitting the movies to see Twilight.

We have all read the books and loved them. I’m ready for the movie. We’ll see if it lives up. Whatever. It’s vampires. and love. I’m all in.

That’s about it from the Circus, folks. Have a great Thursday. You Normals, are almost finished! Wahoo!

Muah. thanks again for the comments and love. You are the wind beneath my wings.

(wait. did we ever think it was safe to go on a blind date?)

So. I had a blind date.
It started out pretty well. Nerves, lots of nervous laughter, but then settled down into decent conversation.
I was really cognizant to not be closed off and automatically negative. I was open,and laughing and engaged and intent on being in the moment.

Until the moment turned slick willy style.

He kept interrupting me. INTERRUPTING MY STORY, whatever the story was, something he had asked me about, but INTERRUPTING ME to tell me “you are so beautiful. you smell amazing. you look sexy. you made me really happy watching you walk to the bathroom.” and in the beginning some of that was charming…but then it turned just slick. slick. slick.

he kept saying he wanted to kiss me. well. not at the fucking dinner table chico! Good grief.

I could feel my walls going up.
brick by brick by brick.

he ordered for me. fajitas.
I wanted the enchiladas or the quesadilla. I told him that on the phone when we picked the place.

People. Let me ask you a question. Do I LOOK LIKE I HAVE A PROBLEM CHOOSING FOOD???? DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED ANY HELP IN THAT FUCKING DEPARTMENT AT ALL???? MY GOD.

From zelda pinwheel's flying circus

and I KNOW. I know it was a gentlemanly thing to do. and I know I could have just as easily said, no thank you I would like a quesadilla. But I’m not kidding. It happened fast. It was a drive by ordering. Vroom Vroom. bam. done. fuck. ok.

The conversation, his (mine kept being interrupted) was sprinkled with overtly sexual enuendo. To the point that I was thinking to myself…are you frigid? have you become a prude? what the hell is wrong with you? I just laughed it off. That loud stupid laugh of mine. coping mechanism. I use it well.

OH wait for this! At one point, he (interrupted me) to ask, “why don’t you have any babies?”
really?
really????

brick.
brick.
brick.
brick.

It was the goddamned Great Wall of China before dinner was over.

I was ready to go, and finally, just got my purse and got up. After he looked up at me and said, “Missy didn’t tell me you were so tall.” (HE SAW ME WALK IN!) He walked me to my car and yes, there was a goodnight kiss. he stood on the curb. I was in the street. and no, I didnt want the kiss. I’m so outta practice, I thought it’d be just a chaste little closing to the night. well. it looked like this coming at me.

big fat tongue down my throat.grabbed me and smushed me into him. no soft lips, tentative and inquiring. no touch of the hand, none of that. this was a kiss that happens after you’ve been dating, after you’ve both had a little tequila, and are about five minutes away from rounding the bases on your couch, thanking the good lord above that you’re grownups and don’t have to worry about your parents walking in, because it feels that exciting.

no.
no no no no no.
this was gross.

WHAT MAN OUT THERE, and listen guys, if you’re reading, please chime in, THINKS IT’S A GOOD IDEA TO STICK YOUR TONGUE DOWN A WOMANS THROAT TWO HOURS AFTER MEETING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME???????

little hint.

IT’S NEVER A GOOD IDEA.
ever.

have some fucking manners.

(manners talk coming from the writer of the F word every other sentence. whatever.)

So. I’m telling you today. On this 19th day of November that I am DONE.

DONE DONE DONE.
I’ve spent the last year in a one sided relationshiop, unreciprocated totally, with a man who couldn’t care less. Went on two dates that could compete with Titanic for “best ending” and I’m done.

Little Mary Sunshine, signing off.

i had a date tonight.
it was a blind date set up thru a best good friend from high school. they are coworkers.
we went to dinner.
mexican.

I’m going to not talk about it tonight. Still mulling over the events of the evening.

In other news, Crazy MeMe fell last night and broke her arm. up by her shoulder. surgery was supposed to happen tonight. I think. will keep you updated.

work was slow today.

the pilot returns tomorrow. first appointment.

we will see.

I went to see this last night with the movie club friends. WOOOF!!! I heart him. I heart 007. I really do. I haven’t seen ANY new Bond flicks. No Pierce, No Daniel, nada. but let me just tell you something gentle readers, I’M ON THE EFFING BANDWAGON NOW!!!

good.
grief.

What is it about a car chase and some sweaty gunfire that makes me light up like a Christmas tree? Anyone? Ideas? yeah, I don’t know either but it works. I’m going to rent Casino Royale today and slurp myself into a sweet day off.

Also, am going to see Dr. McCrackin and go back to the gym!

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

I’m going back to the gym.

If I’m not back here at the circus anytime this week, send help. It will be because I’ve dropped dead with a case of severe fat-ass-beer-lover-rock-star-itus. Send Daniel. I’ll be laying there on the floor with a post it that says

“lick until revived”

woof.

i am still up. for me it is still Sunday. so I was going to post…then I looked at the clock. it’s actually tomorrow.

i just jacked up my NaBloPoMo.

for the second year in a row.

fuckaround.

i’m tired.
i have cramps.
i am having a fat PHAT glass of wine and laying on the couch watching OSU kick come Colorado ass.
i had a busy day today.
i bought some new clothes online last night via a 30%off thingy that Chrome sent me to Old Navy. thanks sis.
i was going to buy a new coat today since i don’t have one and it’s freezing ass here. but i was too tired to shop after work.
i am staying home on this cold saturday night.
i love you.
i love JC and LAYNE who while tootling around OKC today stopped in to bring me an INTOUCH magazine that had my boyfriend George Clooney in it.
i love George Clooney.
i love my weekends.

Went back to BatShitCrazytown tonight for some high school football. We had made the division finals for the first time in I don’t know how long.

Let me begin by saying the evening started with a trip to Jobes.
Jobes.
A culinary delight.
Charburger with cheese and cheese tots.
Ham Pizza.
Onion Rings.

all of it was freakin fantastic.

Fortified with ass amplification, we headed to the stadium. Me, Mgirl, Maegen, her sis and mom and Macy. Lots of “m”s.

Let me also tell you it was cold as fuck outside. Language, Zelda, language! kiss my ass. it was COLD!!!!! Mgirl and I held out till the third quarter. we had to bail and hit the Braum’s drive thru for some hot chocolate.

BatShitCrazytown 28-Durant 18

way cool.

I saw my home ec teacher taking tickets. She almost didn’t recognize me. Note to WonderSis…YOU NEVER SENT A THANK YOU NOTE AND SHE ASKED IF YOU GOT HER GIFTS. YOU SUCK. SEND A NOTE! MOM, DO IT FOR HER IF SHE DOESN’T HAVE TIME. Gah. embarrassing.
but the thing with seeing my teacher was, she looked at me, like I look at everyone when I go back. Kind of that “i know her, i know I know her…what the hell is her name?” and so I said (as I’ve seen countless former students do to my mother) “do you know who I am?” (to which my mother always say, of course! how are you? then to me says i have no idea who that was.) and she looked at me and said, Of course! how are you? you’re a Pinwheel, right? right.

I’m old.

I’m one of THOSE STUDENTS! the old ones who’ve been gone for almost twenty years.

Gah.

good news. I’m home. I have cats laid out all over me, I look like a fur trader with my pelts. I’m warm. Tomorrow should be a good day, hopefully everyone will show up. got stood up today a lot. and I’m fearful for this paycheck. Seriously fearful. Gah.

So Happy Saturday Weekend to you Normals! I have no plans for tomorrow, and it’s kind of nice after the Rockstar Weekend that was last week.

Muah, and goodnight!

I found 30 bucks in my car yesterday! I immediatly had the urge to go to the gym and get a month! and WORK OUT!!!

did you all read that?

I had THE URGE TO GO WORK OUT?!?!?!?

the hell?

unfortunatly, this bug/cold/thingy has held me back a bit. I am still wanting to go. Monday is my day. I figure I keep resting, lay low and calm this weekend, by Monday I’ll be fit to get fit.

and now, I’m watching 30 Rock. and looking at Jennifer Anniston and her perfectly toned EVERYFREAKINTHING….

I mean, what the hell is that? She’s had pain. She’s divorced from Brad Pitt for craps sake. John Mayer dumped her because he needed his space. DON’T THESE BITCHES EMOTIONAL EAT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD???

clearly not.
I may never eat again.
good plan, eh?

why don’t I look like her?

don’t answer that. file that question along with all those other stupid ones I periodically ask of you.

why don’t I have long hair?
why can’t I find a man that doesn’t need a freakin grow light to finish maturing?
why does SHE get dates and I don’t?
why do I sometimes pee on my apron string at work?
why do I continue to get back together with gin and tonic after breaking up with him?
why is my favorite lesson to learn never learning my lesson?

gah.
monday I’m going to the gym.

This week is a blur. So much activity last week and the weekend, then succumbing to the bleagh yesterday. I did one appointment then came home and put myself to the bed. Fistfulls of meds and slept. I woke up today feeling…better? I think I feel better! My voice still sounds like a drag queen but whatever. So, yay! Human again. I got my clients resecheduled for this pay period so that felt like it was ok to come home.

I don’t have much in my brain today that isn’t overly medicated. I’ll be back tonight for some better blogging.

Happy day!

that’s what I feel like this morning.
BLEAGH.

I didn’t even go to class for the very first time. I just needed more sleep. and I have no voice. And small gophers are trying to get out of my chest. Bleagh. That kind of gagged me.

So anyways, I called in to class, and am going to work at noon. I have a few appointments and cannot afford to reschedule or lose them. There is some sitting time, which I will take. I will survive it. It’s not horribly bad yet, so hopefully I won’t get too terribly down.

Lot’s of fun doesn’t come free. There’s always a price!

I haven’t watched ER since a few years after Clooney left. But Dr. Green is coming back this week for a “very special ep” and I’m prolly watching. I loved that show. Truly did. But I have to say, it’s time to put it to bed. Fifteen years. Jeez.

Ok. I’m getting coffee then a hot shower. Everyone have a great day. I hope with all the funk that has befallen you, and you know who you are, that you are able to keep your head above the water and breathe.

Huzzuah and Halakaleem! I love you!