The WonderFamily has been here this weekend and it’s been LOVELY!!! They like the house, the house holds lots of people and doesn’t feel cramped. It’s all working well. We cooked out after I got off work on Saturday and celebrated Bonusmom’s birthday. Sunday we all loaded up and went over to the big pool with Maegen and Company. Wonderboy decided to just run and jump his skinnny ass into the deep end right off the bat. He lost grip of his float board and started going under. He bobbed back to the top and you saw the look on his face when he realized he couldn’t touch, and started going under again. I saw it all happen and ran from across the yard and jumped in and got him. He was panicked, I was scared shitless, it was really deep and I couldn’t touch, and he was pushing me down as I pushed him to the top of the water. I gulped in gallons and was couching and choking a little. Everyone mobilized and got to him as I pushed him to the top so he was fine. A little shook up and fine. After he got the water off his face he looked at me and said, “I’m allright!”

good. good.

Meanwhile my phone was in my pocked of the shorts I was wearing when I jumped in!!

So…My replacement phone is on it’s way and will arrive tomorrow…HOWEVER…The Brother In Law just handed the phone back to me and it’s working!!!! No now I’m on the phone with the phone insuraance people trying to cancel my phone and get my 50 dollar deposit back…which they just told me was not going to happen. So. I’ve paid fifty dollars for a refurbished phone. Man. The Universe is still testing me, and as Mandrea said, it’s those really hard essay tests not even a multiple choice!.

Oh well.

Say la vee.

My phone works. My kid isn’t brain dead. Life goes on.

The kids are going to take Wonderboy to his eye doc appointment then come get me and we’re going shopping a bit. Sams, etc. I may try to spend some of my gift cards from the housewarming. I need a new hose (dirty!) and a shovel and things like that. Tonight we’re going to Bricktown for dinner and then home. Wonderbaby has been delightful. He eats constantly. I’m not even kidding ya’ll. If that kid isn’t sucking on a bottle he’s asleep. We do like our food in this family!! Wonderboy is staying with Bonusmom on the Frontier tonight, then the Wonderfamily is heading to Granite to see MeMe for a day or two. After dinner tonight I’m going to meet up with the redhead to watch some comedy and kind of defrag from the weekend. it’s been one. I’ll tell ya that much.

How was yours?

Waaaaay back on Friday night, yours truly had a date.
A real date, with a boy and dinner and drinks.
I chose to meet said boy at place…just never know about having someone come to your house and being trapped in the car with them all night long. (that sounds perfectly cynical and awful….it is what it is.)

I had taken Friday off work to laze and clean for the impending arrival of the WonderFamily on Saturday. I slept late, laid on the couch, watched 27 Dresses, mowed the front lawn etc. It was fantastic. Then it came time to get ready and with a little help from the redhead, I got the clothes lined out and off I went.

I got there too early (habit) and sat in my car and cleaned out my purse for a few minutes then walked in. He wasn’t there. Arg. But after a bit he walked in and while a little awkward, we said our hello’s and you look nice’s and got to a table. Whew. Breath. We ordered drinks (i thought keep these babies coming kid and i’ll slip you another tip!THOUGHT IT but didn’t say it and didn’t drink a whole lot because well, hello! FIRST DATE) and started the talking. It was fine. Conversation was wide and random and I’m good like that, skipping and floating from one subject to the next without much connection.

You’re asking yourselves…what’s the deal? Where’s the catch? If she’s posting about it there’s gotta be something…yep. You know me well.

It was just weird. All around funkytown weird.

He ordered for me. We got around to ordering dinner after a few appetizers (oysters of the half shell which I did two of for the first time because I didn’t want to act all girly and felt the need to be open and adventerous. Kids…like swollowing a big ball of snot with some horseradish and cocktail sauce on it. Never. Again.) He asked what looked good and while I was in my head thinking a taxi, I said a few options I was considering and then the waiter came over and he ordered for me. all the things I said. We never talked about ordering different things then sharing them. Nope. And I had already decided to go a different way with the food….whatever. Ok. Now we have all this food (which was all bad by the way. the restaraunt was just bad) and somehow he slips into conversation about his second gastric bypass surgery??!?!?!?! I didn’t even touch that one. Just let er go on by.

Now earlier in the evening we’ve discussed, as much as we can about the fact that he died.

Not a typo.

Bad car wreck, he and a tree and he broke about a million bones in his face and had all but two ribs broken and was in a coma for 21 days and had to re-learn stuff and doesn’t remember much of anything and . . . . WHEW. Ok. His conversation is a little loopy, like he doesn’t track very well and goes in circles a lot, but I can handle something like that. I’m not so self centered and vain. Plus, I do that on a really good day!

So we’ve covered the dying and coming back to life and made mention of the second gastric bypass and he ordered for me…then he says he tells his mother EVERYTHING. Every. Single. Thing. They have had extensive conversations about me already. She wanted to know did I like OU? Was I coming to the brother’s wedding in August? All kinds of stuff.

wedding in august…i kind of said I’d go with him on the night I first met him after about 4 big beers and an irish car bomb.

It’s like she’s already cross stitching my Christmas stocking for the mantle.

There were some pointed questions from him such as “just how old are you” phrased exactly like that. and the look on his face when I had to mention that I’d been married before…these are facts that I cannot and would not change about myself. It is what it is. But there was a little judgement there. And he’s in my age bracket, so I don’t know what that was about.

We decided to leave and go meet his brother and soon to be sister in law for a drink. Now, I had to do all of the planning and if any of you know me, you know it’s like rubbing a cat the wrong way. But I give him the benefit of the doubt, he doesn’t live here and oh yeah, he died. So we finally decide on Shady Pines and meet there. Mandrea and Seige were sitting at the bar and that was serendipitous so it was good to have someone on my team. About half way thru the first beer he announces that it’s his birthday. He didn’t want to say anything and look like an asshole. his words. Sigh.

SHOTS!!! WE NEED SHOTS!!!

The brother and sisinlaw were fun. . . but the brother, every chance he got to meet my eyes, said Thank You. Once he was coming back from the bathroom and grabbed my sholder and said, “Thank you. No. Really. You have no idea. Thank you. so much.” I thought he was referring to his birthday and kind of blew it off because it was getting a little strange (relative at this point) and he said “you have no idea. since the accident. . . just . . . thank you” I just looked at him and said, “hey, don’t be an asshole. This isn’t a pity date. I am here simply because I was asked to be here. I realize it must have been really hard for you and the rest of your family, but don’t make me out to be the girl on a date with the guy who died. have a drink and breathe in and out for awhile.”

ugh.

Then the sis in law, who was quite charming actually, starts quizzing me about do I want to get married, do I want children…with all the hope and fervor in her eyes of a girl about to be married in two months. These are questions that my friends know the answers to. And I guess I can’t be too hoity toity because I do post it regularly on the freakin INTERNET. But she was planning my wedding too, I’m not kidding.

Now, it was getting to be around midnight and for me it was a school night and I wanted OUT of this date. One tidbit I haven’t shared is that he had a DUI this winter and had a brethalizer in his car so after a drink it wouldn’t start. I drove us to Shady Pines and his brother was going to take him home. FINE. But the brother started talking like we were going to go off together and I was going to take him home and FUCK AROUND. I was outta there. Said our good byes, gave a little hug to everyone and gone baby gone. Home.

The next morning before 8 a.m. he called me. He’d already had a phone call from his mother and from his father. He said he had a hangover. I didn’t think we drank that much. I know I didn’t. He told his father that I was more of a pro at drinking, that I could drink him under the table. His dad said, Does she drink Canadian Mist? HUH??? his response? She’ll probably drink anything.

Kids…I have cocktails, and possibly more than any of you on any given random day. But I’m not a drunk. Nor am I that girl who get’s shitfaced drunk on A FIRST DATE. So all of this is quite frankly, pissing me off. Plus, it’s BEFORE EIGHT IN THE MORNING> GO AWAY.

It was a fine time. I put myself out there. I met some new people. I’m not going on another date with him. But am still open to dating. This whole thing was just WEIRD. and NOT quirky and endearing weird. just fucking weird.

That’s the end of my date story. I have more to tell but will post the rest of the weekend update later. I stil don’t have a chair in the office and sitting on the floor is putting my foot to sleep.

So, what with all the motivational talks on the comment section and the fucking BRILLIANT writings of Joe…I’m feeling good, ya’ll! It’s ok. I”m excited about Friday and the date with the guy. I know I mentioned another guy, FOS (friend of Spence) from the other night and frankly, I’m interested in him and the redhead is allegedly doing work on my behalf to see how that would pan out….but I’m ok with Friday.

Not one to ever borrow trouble…heh heh heh…and to follow my favorite song and Look On The Bright Side Of Life…let’s just hope we have a plan.
Let us not practice that age old commentary of:

“I dont know what do you want to do”
” I don’t care. Really. What do you want to do”
lather.
rinse.
repeat.

GOD SAVE ME FROM THAT.

and for the love of Petey Fisk, someone give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

and Someone give me a freakin HIGH FIVE BECAUSE CHROME IS COMING HOME!!! Locals: Joe/Gert/MGirl…we get facetime with the ChromeyonefromNYC. I will let you know exact date and time and if it doesn’t work out, no worries. We’ve got the holiday visit as well.

Halakaleem!!!

Life is good, people. If you were in doubt, you weren’t sitting on the patio of the Speakeasy tonight drinking what could have possibly been the most perfect gin and tonic ever made. (so claimed M’Lynn.)

nighty night.

The last two posts have garnered some brilliance in the comment section. I encourage every reader…that means you…to click back, click over and cruise through.

THESE PEOPLE ARE MY FRIENDS!!!!!

Holy crappiedoodle.

How’d I ever get to be so lucky.

Another day closer and my mind is a titch more clear than cloudy. I feel all of it. Mostly hopeful. As far as Mr Uninterested goes…mentally pulling back from all of that. As Joe said, “if he can’t be smart enough to pluck the apple off the cart when it’s right in front of him…let him chase it down the road.” that’s a paraphrase, but you get the gist.

as far as Mr. Ridiculous goes….auditions are still open.

and Chrome…do plan on having that tasty treat for us in September my dear. I’ll practice mixing it here until then.

Huzzuah and Happy Humping Day. It’s the half way mark for most of you normals, so enjoy! and it’s been awhile, but do you remember that I still love this one?

The conundrum lies here. Right here in the middle of my brain that has a death grip on a crush of a certain someone and has held on far past the freshness date. It’s obviously not reciprocated so it’s time to bless it and let it go. Look, I’m not arguing that point. I’m really not. It sucks because we talk. A Lot. Various modes of communication by the fist fulls. And we connect. In a way that is attractive to me. . . there’s the rub. Friendship has always been an attraction.

So, I have this date with this guy at the end of the week. It is my homework, to sort thru all this debris and be clear of mind and heart by the time we see each other, so as not to compare and confuse and corrupt what could be…a really great thing.

fuck.
around.
why is it all so complicated???

So.

I have a date.

For Friday night. with the guy I met at Marco the Great’s birthday party. The friend of QueenE’s brother that he hadn’t seen in years who just happened to be in the same place at the same time that night.

He called and we talked for about an hour yesterday. He lives about forty five minutes outside the city but will be in this weekend. Dinner and drinks after I get off work. Not too late because it’s a school night for me you know.

A date.

I don’t even know how to process this right now.

moving on.

Saw Indiana Jones last night.

I didn’t sleep well, what with all of the mass amounts of ick factor throughout that movie. Indy…I love the man. I love the music. I don’t even mind Shia. But I felt the story to be a bit trite, a titch contrived, and just a little so-so. Having said all of that, I’m glad I saw it. I love that franchise.

I made it to the grocery yesterday for my Big Shop. Back to eating healthy. No more eating out, more taking my lunch and making fresh salads and actually getting back to cooking for myself again. 188.00 kids. One hundred and eighty eight dollars. Fuck around. Lot’s of canned goods because I’m a freak about being “stocked up” It makes me feel safe and secure to have food in the pantry and in the freezer. One would think I was a child of the Depression. Nope. Just a fat kid.

I have a potluck at work today, cut up a bunch of fresh fruit to take. Going to swing by the store for some tortillia chips and take salsa I have here. Should be an ok contribution. Tonight going to the frontier to do some bonusmom hair and pick up the last cat. Finally. I have some home hair to get done this week for Delbert and her brood. Friday will be here before we know it.

Somebody remind me that you cannot ask the Universe, continually, for something, and then be wigged out when you get it. Seriously. I have my reasons, but am ignoring them in an effort to give everything a chance and to be open to new experiences.

how grown up does that shit sound?!?!?!?!?

It’s raining cats and dogs here. Well, just cats in my case. We are all laid out in the office as that’s where I have to do the computer-ing now and I’ve got the back door open and it’s nice and cool….great day to have off. I plan on cleaning the house, doing chores and hitting the grocery store this afternoon. I’d like to wait till it clears off so I’m not hauling stuff in the wet weather, but if I have to eat one more hot dog bun I may scream! I know. My own doing, so quit complaining. Will do.

I told you a small amount about Saturday night at the War Bar with Gert and company. The company I didn’t tell you about was a guy from high school. He was just dee are unk drunkie magoo drunk. I felt like I babysat him for two hours at least, and he was in that talking in circles I’m this guy and look how much money I have and me me me me me Vomit. gross. It was pathetic and sad and I just felt bad about him all day long on Saturday. Like a pit in my stomach that wouldn’t go away. Apparently he came back into the war bar the next day and apologized to Gert for his behavior. Maybe he’s not so sad and pathetic but man oh man, it made me really happy to be living in my skin in my life . As Gert says, I’d rather be me than you. halakaleem!

Saturday night was a surprise birthday party for Marco the Great. QueenE organized it and got balloons and the cake and decorations and Mgirl, Mandrea, Seige and myself went early to get the table set and saved. After several false starts with lighting the candles, he arrived and was totally surprised and the night was ON!! Spence and two of his friends showed up for about ten minutes to visit on their way to the movies. I don’t know if they were just dropping by to see if it was going to be more fun than the movies and would possibly blow off that plan…apparently not because we talked for literally ten minutes and they scrammmed. He did have a friend with him that I’d met previously. . . interesting. Maybe more details on him to come. We’ll see. Anyways later in the evening QueenE introduced me to another guy. A friend of her brothers. We really hit it off and talked and talked. He asked me to be his date at a wedding he’s in this summer…I accepted…then found out the wedding isn’t until August…I asked did he think we could possibly hang out a little bit BEFORE that and we laughed and I’m pretty sure he got my number. I didn’t get his because I don’t call boys.

Yes. I realize it is 2008. I realize I’m not in a position to be finicky about old fashioned ideals. But here’s the thing…I get a do over. Clean slate. And this time it’s going to be different. If any man wants to talk to me, or spend time with me, they have to make the call. They need to step up and do the asking. It is what it is. Old fashioned? yes. But I think it will show the measure of a man who can understand and respect where I’m coming from with this.

So anyway, I haven’t heard from him this weekend, and while I believe what I just typed up there, I did give QueenE permission to do what she felt led to do in respect to playing matchmaker or go between on this. I’m here. I’m open. It is what it is.

Yesterday I purple pooled it with M’Lynn. Got lots of sun and color and talked about everything and anything, lots of talk about boys and men and relationships and changes in our life and wants and hopes. Man, some people pay a lot of money for chlorine, or gas for the trip to the lake, or for therapy. We have a 25 dollar blow up pool and call a pizza and that’s what it takes. What a blessing!

Hey, I haven’t told you who I saw last week!!! What a crazy life this is! So, I’m at work and it’s kind of slow and I’m sitting up front reading the paper. In walks this guy, who out of the corner of my eye looks and sounds so familiar!! But whatever, I’m reading and I didn’t get the appointment so I continue with my day. When he was in the shampoo bowl, it clicked! I found out his name and walked over when he was in the chair and put my arms around him and said, “Sweet Baby Carsten, how are you?!?!?!” It was Carsten. We went to college together, did shows together!! Hysterical!!!! He had just filed for divorce THAT DAY before he came in, he’s a brick layer, living in the city, no kids. Said he’s trying to get used to apartment living again and that sucked. Divorce just sucks, let’s face it. But we got semi caught up and text each other most of the afternoon! Isn’t that just great?!?!?!?!!? Chrome, if you make it home this summer, I’m arranging a get together at my house and we’re ALL going to get some face time. After ten years, we deserve it!!!

Ok kids, I need to get more coffee, find some motivation to do laundry and clean my house, work up the energy for a walmark trip, I’m supposed to do hair this afternoon so I’ll have to make arrangements for that. Need to get Stormy from the frontier and am going to try to see Indy with M’Lynn at 6:15. Let’s see how much of that I get done!!!

That is Gert’s phrase for our hometown. Yep. I agree.

MGirl and myself mosied out that way last night to see her at work at the War Bar. It was a good night that started with onion burgers and coneys and ended with a lot of laughs with B and Scottyringo and J and B. Funn-knee stuff. I have very little time to go into the craziness of it all but I have to give you this one story before I get ready for work.

We’re sitting at the bar, just talking and taking it all in, all of the batshitcrazy that is a Friday night there and this girl says hi. She’s there with her husband and we’re making small talk. Did you two grow up in batshitcrazytown? No, says Mgirl. Yes, says Zelda.

What year did you graduate? she asks…fuck. and so it begins.

a million years ago.

a million?

yes. a million.

no really, when did you graduate?

MGirl pipes in with 1989 and the girl looks like she got slapped.

Huh. she says, twisting her ever so blonde hair. (not a comment on the blondes, obviously as my hair is almost see thru, just giving a description)

I don’t know anybody who graduated in 89…..(eyes light up) Oh! My step-mom graduated in 92! But my dad really loves her!

I know. right?

When she left, she apologized to Mgirl for not remembering her unusual name and was laughing and said, “no it’s different. I like it. At least it’s not something like Trashcan.”

This my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg.

My city within a city just picked up my recycling for the first time!!! Halakaleem!! we get a big blue dumpster that holds all of the recycle. No sorting. Just throw that stuff in there. The first Thursday of the month, they pick it up and empty it. And it just happened!! See!! I am trying to be a good human to the earth. trying trying trying.

but i have seriously GOT to get to the grocery. especially weighing in this afternoon…last night I had a pb and j on a leftover hotdog bun, along with more chips and slices of cheese. What the hell. I’ll just charge the groceries. head+sand=peace.

and no.

I’m not pregnant.

Everything in and about the house is still virginal, remember? (ok. I’m not so much but might as well be…)

I’m taking those damned chips to work today. Get them outta my house!!

Hey ya’ll. It’s Thursday. Post Humping Day. I hope it’s delicious and fast and all you want it to be. I love you. I love my recycle guy. I love George Clooney. I wonder if he’s ever jacked up his money before?