I think God is testing me.

the a/c is off again. Now we know it’s the switch. Marco the Great is coming over, yet again. bless his heart. have I mentioned this is his last weekend with his fam before he flys to Canada…and it’s a FREAKIN HOLIDAY?!?!?!?! He hates me. I know it. Quite frankly, I don’t blame him. I kind of hate me now, too.

And I just closed the garage door and the plastic cover of the door opener fell right smack to the floor.

I just closed the door and turned off the light.

Operation Ostrich….activate. Head. Sand. Insert.

Happy Sunday ya’ll.

so when last we spoke I was hotttttttttt and cranky and about to leave for work and call my warranty company. Well I did. After waiting on hold for 15 minutes straight I spoke with a kind young gentleman named Clay. We do the whole info trade and update and bla bla bla….oh wait! I don’t have a warranty so he cannot help me!

Do what?

My application expired on May 7. My TITLE COMPANY DIDN’T REMIT PAYMENT SO THEY CANCELED MY COVERAGE.

I almost had a stroke right there. I went into the bathroom at work and started crying. Just defeated is what I felt. I stupid, like I missed some vital piece of info at my closing and let something slip thru the crack. I have house guests and they are sweating their balls off and all of this is somehow my freaking fault. Defeat. But, I have a friend at the title company who is going to help me figure it all out and get things straight next week. I have paperwork. I have proof. They have to fix it!

Marco the Great swept in on his stallion and oh hell, it was a glitch in the switch and halakaleem it’s fixed. It’s a very nice cool 72 degrees in my home right now. Delicious. Between he and QueenE, sharing their time with me when theirs is limited (he leaves for his homeland of Canada on Tueseday) I am indebted and eternally grateful.

It’s good to have friends.

That was all before about 11 this morning. The rest of my day was back to back booked until 5 then I came home and we went to eat mexican food. Muy buien. Hit the Walmark for about 300 buck worth of stuff for me casa. Drapes. rod thingys to hold the drapes on the wall. (we got the drapes home and boo. they don’t work. so taking them back tomorrow and finding new.) bought blinds for all the windows. Bonusdad will put them up tomorrow. Bought some lamps and shades. some bathroom towels and mats etc. some Hercules Hooks to hang the Picasso and all the other hanging stuff. If you have not ever used these babys…DO SO!!! amazing. totally worth whatever they cost. Got some other stuff done and hung. It’s looking like a home. I have no place to put my pics though and that’s bothersome. Not art pics, but pic pics. friends. family. everything. they were all on the piano, but Kikimama has made that her lair, trying to escape from the retched boys so that wasn’t working. Plus…too much. So anyways gotta find somewhere for that.

Tomorrow they are going to the graves and lay flowers. I am opting out. MGirl and myself could meet up with Mandrea and whomever and hit Paseo Arts Fest tomorrow while they do that. MUST go visit my fav artists the Garden Deva!
Then it’s buy curtains paint return air vent covers and reapply to walls. hang blinds. curtains. buy some frames for bedroom poster/art. get groceries and cook out tomorrow night with the fam and extended fam. We have a list of stuff to do but by gum we’re doing it!!! Oh we need to paint that damned bathroom too. that’s on the list.

This is boreing for you to read, I just realized i was listing pretty much to clear my own mind. Good grief.

Hey we had a shitload of tornados around here today. We’re fine. No metro. No Frontier. Family is good. No worries here.

happy saturday night. this time last week pretty sure i was falling down. ahhhh liver appreciation….

Shout out to Joe for running code red delivery of fans to my house today. Mom has one on her now as she is sleeping in the guest room and just wants more cool. thanks babe. you are way cool, ya know?

my a/c is out.
to the point that I think it just waited for me to move in and then collapse.
i have a home protection plan…and just waiting for another hour to call during office hours.
i tried to look it up online last night, but it said it didn’t recognize my plan number.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK. please let this have been just a glitch and not something that got dropped and is now defunct.

my mom and bonusdad are here. sweating balls. laid out under the ceiling fan in the living room.

the cats are hot.

i’m hot.

this has to be fixed today…Marco the Great is coming over to do some working and hopefully it’s just a flick of a flicker but if it’s not, he goes back home to Canada on tuesday.

damnit.

someone say a prayer for me.

cuz cranky pants are the only thing I can find to wear this morning.

Home for a change of clothes after the funeral and before a full book at work.

We buried one of our mothers today. Gert was there with me. There were four other girls from high school there to support Delb, as well. The church was packed. The ceremony was fine…I detatched and zoned into someplace that was so inapropriate that I cringe to say it and don’t dare type it…but after it was over, we circled the pews and did the walk past the family and the casket. We got to hug, and show here that we were there. I love that whole family, both kids and Delb are also clients, and Jerry the hubby…solid as a rock. I am shaken to the core. We are too young to lose our mothers. We all are too young. I cried all the way back to OKC…finally under control but have one of those crying headaches? pfffffffft.

two more things.

open caskets. Now people, I cannot think of one single solitary human who says to me, I like that part of the funeral. . . yet it always seems to happen. So here’s my ultimatum. If this is what’s going to happen, somebody have the good damned sense to stick a cardboard cutout of George Clooney in there beside me to give everyone a good chuckle and me a great send off. Agreed? cool.

I went to ww to weigh in right when I got back to OKC.

I lost 2.4 lbs this week.

For the first time in probably 5 years…I am under 200 pounds. I don’t give my weight here, never have. Maybe when I get closer to skinny and sexy I will, but for now that number is mine. I own it. But the fact that this happened, and today. Well. I thought I’d share. It’s miniscule compared to the grief and shattered lives that are going on around me. But within the chaos…life begins anew.

Have a great afternoon ya’ll. Mom and Bonusdad tonight thru the weekend so sporadic posting at best. Love and light and Halakaleem and somebody find a cutout of my George and put in in the closet for backup funeral plans!!!

apparently i was not. after finishing that post, and watching the news, and seeing a friend on said news, then texting to let them know I saw them on the news…hell it was twenty till ten. Painting was never gonna happen tonight. Oh well. It will get done pre party.

I took myself to the bed to rest, watch some more tv bla bla bla. Well, now I”m wide awake.

BOINGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Totally awake.

I’ve got some Arrested Development to watch as well as Sweeny Todd, but methinks that may be too gory for eleven in the p.m. alone. even though I know how it ends. So that’s what I’m doing.

ya’ll asleep??

For the love of GOD I have got to paint the bathroom. Seriously. What is my problem that I cannot get up off my fat ass and go in there and do some work??? Such a pretty purple, too….ok. after this post.

Busy today. We do salon education once a month and this morning was it. I like the education. I like learning and being refreshed and inspired. We’re talking about maybe doing it more than once a month which I think would be great but we’ll see how it shakes out. Anyway, then on to work at noon, and I was busy all day long. Really very few breaks, right up until 8. Hala….kaleem!!

Tomorrow morning is the funeral of Delb’s mom. I cannot fathom being our age and losing ones mother. Hell, any age. I’m having some crazy emotions this week, I know it’s a full moon, but I’m glad my fam is arriving tomorrow night. Anyway…wish I had someone to go with me for a little support…but that’s the way it is in this life of mine.

Speaking of full moon…is anyone else just focused on one specific thing in their heads? My choir of voices is chanting one specific theme this week…over and over and over and over. like a dog with a bone. Dreams even. It’s everywhere. Are you doing this? Focused? Frantically focused? Ka. Ray. Zee.

that would be me.

that cute boy just got American Idol. I never watch. But I do like him! he’s cute and sexy and damn the voice. What is it when you put a man onstage and behind a mic??? fuck around, I’m as good as gone. Lay me down and someone trip him as he walks by me.
I’ve never watched. But happened to do so tonight, just in time to see Ben Stiller, Jack Black and my bf Robert Downey Jr stand in as the Pips to Glady Knight. Good stuff. Then George Michael!!!! In the flesh!! I still heart him. I don’t care what any of you say. He sang the the theme music to most of my favorite memories. He looks good too despite those unfortunate bathroom arrests.

Ok man, I’m outta here. I’m getting up and changing clothes and going to paint the freakin bathroom. I’m going to get the house ready for mom and Bonusdad’s arrival and get my dress ready for the funeral in the morning. that’s what I’m gonna do. Right now.

Went to the first ever “MONDAYS DONT SUCK AT THE SPEAKEASY” comedy night tonight. it started late, we were tired, the other guys were good, some points in their set were great, some were mediocre. I think the crowd, which was larger than expected, got pretty chatty and loud during that time so that sucked. Anyways, my point was this. Spence brought down the house. He rocked it. He was the money spot, last comic in the lineup. He did some new stuff which I liked, all of my specific favorite old stuff. M’lynn and Mgirl had to skeedaddle because it ran so late and tired from the weekend but I stayed and after it was over so many guys came up to tell him how great he was and how much they loved his set.

HALAKALEEM TO SPENCE!!!!

he really is pretty fucking delicious.

To bed or me. Retired from the rock and roll weekend. Getting on with the week. My friend Delbert’s mom passed away this morning after a battle with cancer, so that funeral is Thursday. Mom and Bonusdad show up that night to stay thru the weekend. Mom is hanging out thru next tuesday or wednesday helping me put the finishing touches on the house. It’s memorial day weekend which means Paseo Arts Festival. then the next week is my housewarming party! LIFE IS BUSY!!!!!

My neice is graduating from high school on Friday night in the hometown, so I’ll be back there that night. Going to stop by and see Gert’s casa too…

That’s about it for me kids. Huzzuah and Happy Monday….Tuesday.

I think I overdid it this weekend! So many festivities. Saturday night was cra-zeeee. Dancing was fun. Cosmos were fun. Falling down…not so much fun. Yep. It happened. I fell down. The freakin shoes, man!! Hateful shoes. Could have a little something to do with the quantity of vodka that I had injested though. Could have a little something to do with that…flop.

yesterday at purple pool was relaxing. Felt good to be back in it, be back together!! FINALLY!! Got a little color to my face and that feels good. Went up to Sunday Funday and good LORD, my liver may fail me this week. Seriously.

So, today has consisted of moving from the bed to the couch to the big chair. That’s it. Nada. Nothing else. I’m finally waking up and feeling better. Going to attempt some house chores and laundry before tonight’s comedy show. Heading up there around 8:30 so that will be fun.

I have nothing else, really.

Today ate me.
Almost ate me whole. Without chewing…

I ran $501.00 today.

Mother.Fucker.

and it’s the second day of my raise!

Hala!!

Kaleem!!

and I wanted a smoke so bad today, all day long. My mind kept fast forwarding to five pm when I could run out, or hobble out, and get in my car and light one up….oh fuck. I forgot. I quit. I was too busy to put on a patch today, kept forgetting. But I persevered and put one on IMMEDIATLY after the day was over.

IMMEDIATLY went to the liquor store for a big blue bottle of vodka and went to the Sonic for a bigass sprite zero with cranberry (delish! refreshing!) and mixed the two upon arriving home.

Back in the day, Gert and I would just open the car door, pour out about half, mix the drink right there in the car….alas…age and wisdom.

Going dancing tonight. Gotta shiny dress and some tall shiny silver shoes and a nice tan from a bottle and By Golly and By Gum…I’m dancing!!!

It’s the WEEKEND folks!! just the beginning of many huzzuahs and halakaleems for me. Tonight fun. Tomorrow…OPENING DAY OF PURPLE POOL!! SUNDAY FUNDAY in the p.m. and hopefully, if scheduling works out, I get to see Spence do some naughty stand up on Monday night.

Puuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Bret Michaels was last night!!!!! The three of us, myself, Mgirl and Mandrea got off work around 4 and that in itself was awesome! We came to get ready at my house and it was just funky. No one was excited about their clothes. No one could figure out what felt good, what we wanted to wear, bla bla bla. We were gritchy. and hungry. But finally we decided and chose and went to eat some really fabulous bbq at Earls and that made us happy! We got on the road to Norman, well south of Norman which was about 40 minutes with traffic and the drive was. . . . eventful. Conversations with other people on cell phones, the details of which I cannot post, were perhaps the most passionate and hysterical we’ve every been witness too! There will come a day when we can talk openly about this, but today is not that day. Suffice it to say, we laughed and laughed once the phone call was over and we got to the casino. Oh yeah, Bret Michaels of Poison was playing his gig at a casino. (we have a lot of those around our state. Tribal casinos.)

So anyway, we got a parking place, made our way inside, ready to see trashy Rock of Love girls in straw hats and lots of boobs and bandannas. . . flop. Not so much. Mostly, it was just a group of people. Now, don’t get me wrong, there were a few lookers and I tried to get a camera phone pic of some of the hair, but I needed a fancy zoom option and my phone doesn’t have that!

We are waiting and waiting for the show to start, doing some half assed people watching when what to our surprise? Three rows in front of us is a certain fella that a certain girl in the group was kind of possibly maybe sorta kinda liking and kind of possibly maybe sorta kinda going to dance with tonight….with another woman. It was one of those “holy batfuckshit, Batman” moments. We laughed and carried ourselves with grace and dignity through that whole thing…still waiting for that fat assed long haired guitar player to take the stage.

Well…we have no idea when and if he ever did. We left. We figured after waiting 45 minutes for it to start, and given the evening’s events thus far, we were better off leaving and driving back to OKC and calling the ticket price and the gas cost a wash.
FORTY FIVE MINUTES!!! And we kept seeing the very few skanky girls coming from the backstage area, so we figure he was doing some couch calls for Rock of Love 3 and quite frankly…we’d rather watch that trash on tv. Not in person.

The other girls went out to shake it off, I came home to save $$ for tonights adventures. . . And here I am!! Bright eyed and bushy tailed and gulping coffee and watching the cats chase each other.

Some would call last night a flop. I am going to say, that I wouldn’t have missed it for the world…when you can totally derail a night’s events with your girlfriends, and laugh all the way home and just be happy to have been a part of it….well that is a successful evening in my book!!

Hey ya’ll…have just a fan-freakin-tastic Saturday! I am booked solid. No time to eat or pee. Comfy shoes day! Tonight I’m dancing like Ren and Ariel at prom. In my tall silver shiny shoes. Wish me luck at not falling down!