Well, I’ll tell you one thing. I learned a great deal about myself, and old habits and how I feel. For some crazy ass reason, I decided to jump head first off the wagon I’ve been happily riding. Everything I did on Friday/Saturday…I have not done all month or longer. I drank too much. I smoked ciggarettes. I ate fast food for the hangover. I ate meat. I drank a real coke.

and I felt horrible. so horrible that I had to cancel plans that I made with Chris and Cindy. So horrible that after rehearsals yesterday I still felt just drained and had to forgo a birthday party of my friend.

Sigh.

So. Today. Today I’m better. I have been detoxing with lots of water and good nutritious foodstuffs. I have decided that I dislike greatly the Morningstar maple breakfast sausage. Im not saying that I’m never eating meat again. I’m not saying that at all. My family always buys and shares with me their fresh stuffs…which sounds great right now. I was just really really amazed at how badly eating like that took me out at the knees.

and I used to eat that way EVERY SINGLE DAY.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I would have some fast food or grab something fast or whatever. Gross. and I feel guilt. not because I ate meat. but for what I did to my body, and how it made me feel.

I feel stressed about lines and the play. We open in 18 days and seriously should be way more advanced in rehersals than we are…and the director isn’t too worried but I am. SO…I’m getting off here and turning off the tv and getting my script. Tonight we’re meeting early for extra line rehearsals and I’m hoping beyond hope that I can walk in solid. Really really solid. and in general I am but my scene partner isn’t which tends to throw me way off…gah. It’s a vicious circle of gloom and doom.

Send me some light over here, folks.

Ohhh the screen names.

SeniorEskimo or Bigsoftlips622…it’s really a shame we don’t live in the same state. Because seriously. I’m running on a deficit with lips and eskimos!!! There was a guy today who, I swear to GOD, had a profile picture circa the 80’s. It was taken in a grocery store where the chips were 1.07 and there was a cassette carrying case on the shelf for sale. He’s all, “well people tell me I look 30!” and I’m all like “dude. truth in advertising???” and he’s all like “but the lady at home depot didn’t believe me when I told her I was 52.” and I’m all like “dude. go away”

I do have a favorite. I do. And on this snowy, icy day, before I get the jitters from too much coffee and too many chocolate chip cookies (WHY DID I BAKE THOSE THINGS?) I want to share this with you and then I’m getting up and going to finish a project or two then work on lines.

This is from Pradip.

He’s my Calcutta Boyfriend.

He’s got a real grasp of the language, dontcha think? Awwww yeah.

I am sorry for the inconvenience mail to you.

How are you doing there ? This is Pradip from India.

I have read your profile in the site, It is very interesting and realism, its very much impressed me. Friend if you have a little time to visit my profile it would pleasure to me. And a sort note from you would be nice.

As we are a mature person and seriously searching our soul mate for our 2nd half. We are both thirsty for few drop love, peace and happiness . Is not it ?

I do not believe this personal match % system here.I believe complete trust,understanding, commitment, honesty and faith and believe in each other makes a true ever lasting relation and it is great chemistry in conjugal life . I believe in monogamy system. Hello, I have never been married persona and 43yrs. old, Business man, Height 5’8″, Weight 58kg.

I have feel to seen your picture in the site that you are a sober personality,family oriented,pleasant looking . I am feeling loneliness and need a woman in my life and who will take care me.I am need a woman not only for sex, need as a friend as my guardian and as one part of my soul.It does not matter for me that we come from different countries, different religion,different color/type, Height and speak different languages. Need only peaceful and happiness life. Built a new home, new life, new family. Where two souls live together with happy life and love each other, take care of each other until to death. We Indian are believe wife is half part of husband soul.And we respect the woman as there are motherhood nature. Our mythology said Women are the supreme power in the Earth.

I have not any intention to annoy or play game with any body and i do not like to play game with me also.

If you would like to acquaintance with me as a Indian Person then you can mail me MORE ABOUT YOU. I am waiting for your reply.

T H A N K Y O U
Take care
Pradip
India

So here’s todays NFTU:

Would you ever take a journey, Misti, if you knew ahead of time that you’d become hopelessly lost, have your heart broken into pieces, and sometimes wish you’d never been born?

Now, how about if you knew ahead of time that on that very same journey you’d also find yourself, fall passionately in love, and live happily ever after?

Yeah, I know, you made the same choice a long, long time ago.

Que bueno,
The Universe

Date number 2 was…sigh. Well, I think it was my doing. I think I built this up over the last week…with the chatting online and the texting…I wanted him to be my Vegan in NYC.

Ok. Let me back up.

I’m not disappointed. He is delightful. and Just Fine in the looks department. and what a trooper…he’d undergone an emergency root canal not two to three hours previous…

maybe that accounted for the lisp.

I had a great time, but it was like sitting there eating pizza with a friend. A really good friend who likes you maybe more than you like them because there was ZERO instant chemistry. I didn’t want to touch or kiss him. My stomach didn’t flip flop.

And I’m grown up enough to know that most of that is bullshit and fades anyway. . . so I’m not writing this off. By any means. I totally forsee us going out again. . . we have too much in common that we like to do to let that happen. But when we chatted after the date on instant message…he said he wanted to kiss me goodnight. and because I’m always honest, I said well. Unless your last name was Clooney, that probably was never going to happen anyway. I told him that I was using this online dating to meet new people, try new things and that I did that last night. That I met someone really great who I was willing to spend time with and get to know…

so…

It wasnt a BAD date by ANY MEANS. He didn’t order for me. He wasn’t drunk. He didn’t ask me why don’t I have babies. It wasn’t his birthday. He didn’t have a previous brain injury or stick his tongue down my throat and around my spleen…I mean it was a stellar date compared to the ones I had a few years ago! I will see him again…I’m not writing this off completly. I just KNOW….that I didn’t feel anything attraction like…but that’s ok too.

I’ve got high hopes people. me and that rubber tree plant? We’re going places.

***OKLAHOMA WEATHER REPORT***

right now…NOW they’re forcasting 2-5 inches of snow and a quarter to and inch and a quarter of ice. This starting around 9am. I’ve already spread the ice melt onto my front steps…and have zero problems loading up the livestock and heading to the Frontier if I lose power. will keep this thing powered up and online as much as possible. We’re sitting at 30 degrees, and if we can hover, and stay above 29 we’ll just be in a shitty ice storm. if we hit below 29 we’re in for some freezing hell.

finally I leave you with my NFTU…

If you knew how much you have in common with every single person now living in time and space Misti – in terms of your greatest hopes and dreams, and your deepest fears and worries – you’d wonder how I manage to tell you all apart.

And from this day forward you’d likely think of every single one of them as “dearest,” just as I do.

Yeah, like twins, to the power of 7 billion. But not to worry, dearest Misti, I can always tell it’s you by your saunter.

Tallyho,
The Universe

Well, we can cross “have a date with a man” off of my Things To Do list!!!

SUCCESS.

I found, that even though I wasn’t hopeful or had any expectations for this date at all, that I got really really nervous. And walking into the restaraunt looking around for him…I’d seen a picture and well…the real life boy looked similar, but not exactly the same. He looked very nice. He has a great smile. He’s short. My height or perhaps an inch or so shorter. I knew that going in and wore flats on purpose. So ok.

We got our table, and amidst a lot of nervous laughter and ordering of an appetiser we got thru a few precursory questions and he just bursts out with, “you’re NICE”

“yes. I am nice. Thank you.”

He didn’t ever blink. At one point I thought “could he be BLIND and I not know it???” He also thought that the Vikings actually threw their playoff game. and he read me an Obama joke from his phone…. SOoooooo…he’s a little spazzy. We got to talking about the gym and turns out he’s a muscle guy who guzzles all kinds of “helping products”  or as Ringo calls it, a Mark Maguire toddie!!! HA. So, we did laugh. There really wasn’t a connection, like WOOF. I must be with this man. But hey, he was kind. And we laughed. And so I met someone new! We did exchange phone numbers and because I’m in rehearsals my time is so limited. We’ll work something out..or not. Whatever.

Tonight’s date is at 8:15 and I’m very excited for this one. He and I have been talking/texting for about a week and we have a lot in common. I’m glad we’re meeting before the Great Storm of ’10 arrives tomorrow….

You guys, I’m freaking the fuck right out about this storm. I”m worried about trees falling on my house. I’m worried about losing power. I’m worried about my pipes freezing and bursting. Yesterday I went and bought everything but a new house at Walmarks, got stocked up on gas in the car, foodstuffs, cat provisions. I’ve still got icemelt from Christmas, but feel the need for more, and am going to hit the liquor store. A few bottles of wine may help calm the nerves…

The news is predicting ice like in 07. I lived on the Frontier in 07. With a fireplace. and a generator. and my Bonusmom to keep my spazzy butt calm. Being in my own home brings a whole other handful of the nervous…But we’ll figure it out. If I lose power, I’ll gather the livestock and head out to the Frontier.

Ok kids…I’ve forgone the gym this morning in favor of the hunting and gathering. Have a great day! Here’s todays NFTU:

Do you know what we used to call you before you leapt into the jungles of time and space, Misti?

“Gutsy.”

Do you know what we call you now?

“An example.”

Do you know what we’ll call you when you return?

“Teacher.”

Tallyho,
The Universe

Tonight, is my first date of the year.

We’re going to a nice little restaraunt around 7pm tonight. Pleanty of people know exactly where I will be. I’ve given my computer password to my bff’s in case they need to hack into the machine for any reason. I’m meeting him, he’s not picking me up. I think the bases are covered.

I’ve no idea what I’m wearing, something comfortable and casual. I don’t have any expectations from tonight. I already know that this guy and I come from different mindsets, however, it’s nice to go and to meet new people.

Tomorrow night, however, I’m meeting another guy that I’ve been talking to for awhile. We’ve had several Instant Message “dates”, we watched the Vikings/Saints game,  we talked practically all day long yesterday, and then again when I got home from rehearsal. Talked waaaaaay passed my bedtime. He and I are reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally good on paper. Lot’s in common. So we’ll see if that translates.

It’s interesting, folks! I’ll keep ya posted

Meanwhile, I just got home from the gym, did about 3 miles on the t-mill, and need to get my food ready for the day. I will leave you with my Note From The Universe…it was a gem!

Misti, the trick is learning to maintain an unwavering focus upon your desired end result, your completed dream, the “finish line,” without insisting upon, or even contemplating, its means of attainment, no matter how logical, obvious, or tempting it may seem.

Tallyho,
The Universe

Kizz recently posted about blogging naked.

I thought that would get your attention. I think I do too, to an extent. There are several topics that I don’t talk about here. Or that i didn’t talk about over at The Circus…because I knew my audience. And this isn’t the forum for certain things that belong to me. But for the most part, you get all of me. You get my naked blog, full frontal exposure to my life…

In that vein, I’d like to tell you a secret.

I’ve been online dating for the entire month of January. I signed up at eHarmony when they had their Talk Free Weekend over that four day break the first of the month. I charged the one month fee to the credit card with the teensiest bit of credit left on it and thought What The Hell.

I was so determined that this year, this fresh start would be my year to Try New Things, that I just jumped in with both feet. I also, thanks to Abbylicious in NYC, looked into OKCupid dot com which is free…

I have a date tomorrow night. With a man from the eHarm site. I will let you know how this goes…it’ll be my first date, but I’ve been emailing with several other guys. One in particular I feel a strong connection with. Be it romantic, or perhaps I’ve found a new member of the tribe, I don’t know. And I don’t care, particularly. I’m remaining open and honest and just kind of freewheeling about this journey…

I confessed all to my girlfriends last night, to Chris and Cindy at breakfast yesterday. I’ve kept this close to me for the month because I needed to work through my own personal stigma about internet dating. I think I’ve done that, and then Kizz got all Chuck Norris Brave and posted hers and I thought, well…you jump, I jump.

At the very least, I am gleening material. HAND OVER FIST I’m getting material. For the next Stand Up? For the writing project? for something. And that is never a bad day. I’ll share some of that along the way here…Oh boy. Another plus is thru one of these sites I was “matched” with a guy from high school. Not my grade, several years older than me. We’re facebook friends, and sometimes comment on each others pages, but that’s it. We got matched and I sent him an email saying hi, and how was his luck on this site and we’ve been emailing ever since. Long, hysterical, full blown confessional emails. I will tell you now, that for certain, I have made a new friend and that is a success story in itself.

Weekend Recap: COLTS WIN COLTS WIN COLTS WIN COLTS WIN!!! We’re going to the Superbowl BABY!!!!!!

Rehearsal was a clusterfucktrainwreck on Sunday. It was our first day off book. The issues that I was concerned about earlier? Seem to have lessened and perhaps some bonding has begun. But my scene partner, my “husband” man. He’s got himself so mired down in the negative, self fullfilling prophecy that it’s just miserable to watch. I’m very aware that everyone works at their own pace. That it’s a process and a journey and we’ll get there…it’s a little trying though.

I have a ton of stuff to do and I didn’t sleep well last night so I’m lagging behind. I just wanted to write today, and tell you that there’s new Ridiculous things happening. That it’s a lot of fun. If you’re thinking about trying this? I say do it. Just jump in. And look at it just for what it is. A filtering system, flushing out this one and that one and perhaps landing on one that is just right…we’ll see, yes?

That’s it for naked blogging. I’m putting pants on now.

Yesterday was a good day. I couldn’t have packed anymore into it had I tried…so when I got home and got my comfy clothes on I reflected on the day. What a blessing to be healthy, to be ABLE to have a day like that. I then promptly took myself to the bed so I could rise and shine again for a 6am bootcamp class at the gym.

Well, the two black boys have taken to sleeping at the foot of my bed. Looks like one big hairball. They keep my feet warm, and I keep a blanket over my quilt so their hair and firtch doesn’t dirty it up. Anyhoo, I’d been asleep for a little over an hour when I hear this horking and yakking sound from one of the beasts. This is usually the precursor to some projectile emissions from one of them, so I jump up, almost trip myself tangled in the covers, reach for my lamp, and it won’t come on. I’m still asleep so I stumble to the wall switch and try that. Nuthin. I then notice the alarm clock is off, the hall light? I have no power.

Yesterday in The Plains, we experienced spring like storms. Just some crazy rain, perhaps some hail farther south, it was nuts. But not nearly bad enough to lose power? Yup. So I get my trusty blackberry use that light to dig in my purse for my little flashlight and get online and it’s not just me. My neighbor a street over had posted he was out of power too. I called the electric company and reported and outage and then tried to sleep. I was warm enough. There luckily, had NOT been any projectile bits and the cats were still snuggled up on my feet. But my brain was going batshit. I was worried. This hasn’t ever happened before and OH MY GOD WHAT IF…well I tossed and turned for a few hours then VOILA. Lights camera action! I got up and turned off the lights I’d inadvertently turned on in my search and went back to bed clutching the flashlight…only to toss and turn for the rest of the night. Come 5am when it was time to get up and get ready for the gym?

snooze button was my bitch.

SOOOOoooooo…I’ll get to that class next week. I will hit the gym after work. It will be ok. I am working lines with my scene partner tonight, so hopefully I can fit it all in. I worked lines pretty hard yesterday and made some headway. We have to be offbook on the first scenes by Sunday. I think I’ll have it down. Choppy, but whatever.

Ok. I need more coffee and am going to start this day. You start your’s too and I’ll meet you back here later!

We’ve got TWO on the table today kids! TWO! I knew they were both brilliant in their own right but when we got together for a cookout at the Ringo-Hawk homestead this past summer and Cindy taught Ringo how to grill a marinated portobello mushroom…well. The admiration society became one member stronger that day!

Ladies and gentlemen, today is my beloved Cindy and Scotty Ringo’s birthday. God gave us not one, but two specific cases of fabulous on this day. Let’s get together and give them a big fat WHAT WHAT!!!!! There are good things in store for these two this year. I can’t tell you what they are…What I can tell you is that each one graces my life to a degree that is unmentionable.

They make me laugh. Laugh so hard that I snort and sometimes toot simultaneously. They give love without boundaries. They teach me what a real relationship looks like. Hawk and Ringo, Cindy and Chris. I can tell you that, while it hasn’t been an easy road, these couples personify family. They are the model that I have in my head…the girl with her chubby cheeks pressed against the store front pointing, I WANT THAT! I WANT THAT! When I meet someone, or like someone, these are the ones that I want approval from.

I hope that you have people like this in your life. I feel bumbly and stumbly trying to express how much I love them…so I will just say it.

Cindy…my sweet sweet girl. I love you. I am sooooo blessed that you and I have become sisters. You teach me daily about being better, about dreaming bigger, and loving harder. You lead by example and I am better…each day I am on this earth is better because you are in my life. I am so thankful to your crazyass SALmon eating Mama for birthing you. Happy Birthday, sugar!

and Mr Scotty Ringo…you my brother are the guy. The one who is the standard by which all others are measured. Your ready laugh, your generous heart, your love for your family…we’ve been told all of our lives that men like you exist. It’s reassuring to know that it’s not just an urban legend. You make me happy just by walking into the room. Thank you for your friendship, and your guidance. Thank you for your love and your laugh. My life is just better with you in it. Happy Birthday my dear brother. Cheers!

I did get a lot accomplished this weekend. That always makes me feel good…I worked a wedding on Saturday night and it was kind of a dud but I walked away with $$ I didn’t walk in with so that’s always a win. Got to see Gert for a minute. Girl looks GOOOOOOD! She’s got just a few weeks left and its starting to wear her down. Hopefully the end being in sight is enough to fuel her thru…

Breakfast with Chris and Cindy always starts my day with a smile. I got some more Whole Foods goodies from Cindy’s trip to Tulsa, and the three of us started planning a mini-break to St.Louis to visit the farmer’s gardens, Trader Joes, H&M…lot’s to do there and it’s not a bad drive. about 8 hours or less…

Rehearsals are back in and I have to say…I know it’s early and the cast hasn’t really bonded yet. It’s a small cast, just the 4 of us really, and there’s some sort of personality competition going on with one of the actors. I don’t know if he’s just trying to find his space, or if he really is that much of a conceited jackass, or perhaps he’s going all “method” and staying reserved and aloof…seriously?  I’m going to choose the first and believe that all will shake out and the fun will begin soon…

I got this house really worked over and another two bags of stuff to go to Goodwill. Bless it and Let It Go…

The weather this week here? Perfect mental health pick-me-up. We’re socked in with fog at the moment, but it’s going to the 60’s and some sunshine this week. HUZZUAH!!! COME ON SPRING!

I’m working plans for a garden in my head…and excited about the possibilities that will bring. Bonusmom has graciously offered her help which I will SCOOP UP!

Did you see the beef recall? Seriously. I’m not buying commerical beef anymore. If ever. It’s just NASTY. and if you think I’m being a reactionary and over the top then YOU go watch Food, Inc and then peruse the information out there and make your own mind up. I dare you to.

I tried some meat crumbles in my mexican cassarole this weekend and it was SO GOOD! I also bought the same brand’s breaded chicken patties and made a sandwich out of it and LOVED IT! I am excited about the new foods out there, and yes it’s more expensive but hey. I’m working that out…and nothing I’m eating has been recalled this week due to bacteria.

Ok. Time to finish the coffee and hit the showers. It’s a brand new week! And even though I set my alarm for PM instead of AM and missed my gym time…it’s going to be a GREAT DAY!!!