Well folks, I did make a little commission yesterday after it was all said and done. which allowed my shoulders to move a little lower. Went out with one of my Other Sisters for some nachos and beers. She’s been cargiving another Other for two weeks and needed some facetime other than family. I’ve been harboring a shitty mood, mulling and seething and perfecting it all week and needed chips and cheese and laughing. We accomplished all of that and home early.

I went to a different church this morning. One of my favorite clients invited me. . . the whole month, starting today, is about marriage. and at the beginning of service, I felt open and happy and inspired and eager to refill. by the end of it, well. Knots. Knots up and down my spine, into my shoulder blades and neck. and I felt it. I felt it creeping up. Black. Dark. Thick. Negative.

I wanted to just get up and leave.

Don’t read this as a take on the church, or organized religion, or how you personally feel about either of them. I probably feel differently.

But the topic. I just wanted to scream, I TRIED THAT. TWICE. AND SITTING HERE LISTENING TO YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT REAFFIRMS THE FACT THAT JUST BECAUSE WE WANT SOMETHING AND JUST BECAUSE WE ARE GIVEN THE TOOLS TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS AT IT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. . . now does it.

So. clearly there were buttons that were pushed today. I aknowledge that and will work this week thru my Artist’s Way, and personal exercises including the yoga to get centered enough to get a fucking grip on it.

Just letting you know where I am right now.

actually, RIGHT NOW, I’m heading to play committee meting. I’ve read two really good ones. FUGUE by Lee Thuna. I’m giving a 4. The Dazzle by Richard Greenburg, another 4. I’m in the middle of The Jammer by Rolin Jones, and so far, I’m really liking the flow of the dialogue. Jack Goes Boating is somehow blocked for me. I cannot figure out how to get into it. so I’m just taking it back and going to not rate it. whatever. sometimes it just doesnt work out in my brain. I also hope to talk to my director and get details on the show and rehearsals and get a script to start working on.

Then, onto the bar for our chili cook off and SuperBowl!!!

I hope you are having a great day. Don’t worry about my mental health. I’m as stable as I am on any other given Sunday…just a little wobbly sometimes.

well.
the reasons for that are numerous…but that’s a whole nuther post. I’m frustrated and it boils down to customer service.

I called my re-fi guy about five weeks ago. maybe four give or take a day. I’m sure it was before the first though. We had a few conversations, things were moving along, then an entire week went by and when I called he two days after he was supposed to contact me, he promised to call me in THIRTY MINTUES and get things going. Then this week we had the ice and weather. Well, whatever. I went to his office yesterday and we’ve lost the 4% interest rate. At this point, it’ll be somewhere in the 5’s, which is still a full point lower and yes that is good but after all this time, THIS is what I wanted to happen:

I wanted to go in, hand over stuff have him tell me we’ve locked in a 4% intereste rate, your payment each month will be lowered by 100.00, and we can close at the place where your friend works as soon as possible. Oh and don’t bother paying the next two payments. You’re clear.

NONE OF THAT HAPPENED. And I’m frustrated. I’m angry that he’s just lollygagged thru this whole deal. I am clear that the market is volatile. I’m clear that our economy is in the toilet. What I am NOT clear about is why after I did everything I was supposed to do on my end, I’m screwed out of another point lower interest rate because he didn’t fucking call me back?????

On top of that, this last week, even with the day off for ice, I was set to make 60% commission. until all my cut/color/wax combos decided to just not show up, or move it to next week. I have watched my check dwindle down, like our volatile market, day by day. Today is set to be good, if everyone shows. My stripper girl who is down for color is a little flakey, but hopefully it’s an afternoon appointment and she’s awake enough to show up. Gah.

I even woke up bitching in my head about this re-fi stuff. My morning pages are filled with spewing and gritching. Sigh. However I did go treat myself to a 13 dollar pressie yesterday. I bought the Biggest Loser yoga dvd. I did about oh….ten to fifteen minutes last night. My body has not been streched like that in eons and I was immediatly sleepy. Bedtime for me was 9:30.

I’m still drinking crappy coffee…was trying to save money and go cheaper…well it sucks however, my taste buds are getting numb to it, so gulp gulp gulp!!!

breath. I’m fine. Just a lot going on up in the ole noggin. Money makes me fucking nuts. But…I’m figuring out stuff and going to take my taxes on Monday and will get some relief and a little extra. I think I am going to take the tax credit. It’s an intrest free loan. I can set aside money in a seperate account for the paying back that will begin in two years. and I can use it to put in new windows, some more insulation and possibly a fence! and maybe a little for a trip to the beach? wouldn’t that be dandy. I’d need at least a week cuz I won’t decompress for at least two days…think about it. An all-inclusive place, food, drink, sun, sand….anyone wanna join me?

Wow. Short weeks throw me off bigtime, anyone else? Wierd about that. OH and I just saw a commercial for Doubt, and remembered this really strange dream I had with the cast last night. Wierd. And I went to bed early!!!

I started working The Artist’s Way this morning. For those of you that don’t know it, it’s been around for years. It’s part self-help part spiritual guide part creative workshop designed to unblock creativity and open ones self up to more. More what you say? I have no idea but I want it. More ideas. More creative moments in life. More ways to untap those things in your brain that yo want to DO…but don’t know how. It’s twelve weeks and while that doesn’t seem like a long time, I’ve never been able to complete this. I’ve tried a few times, back when I was touring and what the hell else did I have to do with my time? But I feel better, more centered and committed now so we’ll see. Morning pages are the thing that everyone gets kind of hung up on. You have to begin your day by stream of conscious writing three pages every morning. Be it lists, or a novel, or journaling about the day or writing over and over I don’t have anything to write about…whatever. three pages. Since I’ve been writing fairly regularly these last few years, this wasn’t that big of a deal today. I remember when I was touring, especially that first one when I bought the book and was trying to heal myself from the shattered marriage, the morning pages kicked my ass.

Have any of you done this course before? I know Kizz and I talked about it on my last visit. Anyone out there ever COMPLETED it before? I like what Kizz said about it. She knows a woman who has completed it twice, and her (Kizz’s) take on it was this, “I thought that if I made myself get through it, finish the whole thing, I’d be “fixed” but clearly that’s not the outcome. And learning to go through it and use it the way I want, for MY needs was something that I found useful.” So, that’s in the back of my mind too…maybe not to expect the Tony Award winning one woman show to pour forth after these twelve weeks….but maybe I can write the first page. who knows.

It’s getting warmer here folks. 57 degrees today! We even have a fire danger warning tomorrow! A whopping 68 degrees tomorrow…RIDICULOUS!!! Crazy ridiculous.

I feel super grown up from the working out and eating well and knowing where my tax and other re-fi documentation was stashed and gathering it and having my appointment today. I’m going to stay home tonight and read a few scripts, fold this laundry on the couch over here. Go to the gym tonight…though what I’d really like to do is buy Bob’s yoga workout dvd. You know I love him. he reminds me of my sweet baby Dion. So I just gravitate to him. I’ve never been one to want to buy workout dvd’s…but I kind of want Bob’s.

Ok. I got sidetracked over at Amazon and forgot to come back and finish!

Today is ROGER’S BIRTHDAY!!!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR FRIEND! Thank you for all you do for me, for your love and friendship. I hope you are having a great day, and a fabulous 2009 thus far. I love you!!!!

I had one appointment today. Scotty Ringo got his hairs cut and that was it for me. Let’s all just get the hell rid of January and the economic crisis with it, ok? I sat around and read scripts and made plans and left early and went to the gym and began training for my three miles in the marathon. So far, i can run for five consecutive minutes.

I need more training for the marathon and less training for the gin drinking Jewish mother I’ll be portraying in March.

I am meeting with my refinancing guy tomorrow. I have all my bits of paper and info required. Hopefully this time tomorrow night I will have great news to report! But that is all gathered and ready for the meeting.

I came home and ate program appropriate foods. Did that all day long in fact. I did not, however, go weigh in. Being snowed in this week did nothing for my food intake. nor my wine intake. nor for my exercise intake. Lot’s of intake. Lot’s of it bad. So…Regulators Mount UP! I’M BACK on track.

and I’m sleepy. and craving milk. someone please remind me to pick some up tomorrow. I could drink two big giant ass glasses right now if I had some.

Is that all I have for you? perhaps.

I’m sleepy, and am outta here. Muah. Sweet dreams.

INSERT PIC OF ITS ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA HERE

I have the first two seasons that I’m making my way through….

HIGH-STERICAL.

Go.
Netflix.
Enjoy.

The bandwagon has room for one more.

8 degrees. A whopping 8 degrees here this morning. GAH. However, the sun is out, nothing else is falling from the sky. I think we’ve successfully given our storm to the NYC gals. By Saturday, we’re going to hit 60 degrees. OY VEY with the weather already!

Salon is going to open today. I work noon till 8 on Wednesdays, so it’s not that big of a deal. Hopefully everyone can get rescheduled and we can recoup the money lost yesterday.

Speaking of yesterday, what did you do? Those that were socked in with the weather…I myself was up early, made a pot of coffee with the last of the beans in the freezer, watched a little weather, did some laundry which is folded neatly on the love seat. Kiki has found a nice bed on the sweatshirt that’s laying there. I watched The Visitor yesterday. Have you seen it?

MAN OH MAN. It was really lovely. Kizz and I talked about it afterwards and both agreed it was set up to be really cliche and trite, but refused to give in to that. It was real and quiet and true and just fine, fine work. I’m following that up with the first season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, just to balance out my brain a bit. I watched the Kentucky basketball game and an ep of Friends, as my attention span was so jumpy I couldn’t stick with just one thing.

By about 6:30 last night I was officially batty. I thawed out the car and went the five blocks to the store for toilet paper, coffee beans and a frozen pizza. My eating has been no bueno the last two days frozen inside my house. GAH. I ate said frozen pizza, (the really thin crust $2.50 kind) while watching Biggest Loser. Ironic, yes? yes.

I was sad that my Orange Team got the boot. I tell you, the only saving grace of this show is that they go back and show how much the contestant has continued to lose after being kicked off.

I’ve been meaning to tell you, our girl over at ElephantSoap has been nominated for an Okie Blog Award!!! Go over and read a bit. If you can vote…THEN DO SO!!!

Stay warm today folks. Stay safe.

Snow Day Snow Day Snow Day!!!!!

Salon is closed today. Got the text about 25 minutes ago and activated the phone tree, which meant I text everyone in my phone pretty much and put it on my facebook status! Wahoo!

Hopefully everyone will reschedule for the rest of the week and we’ll all be busy making money.

I know I”m getting The Visitor in the mail from Netflix today so I’ll watch that. yesterday was Almost Famous, Primary Colors, Ghost Town, and some eps of tv…made big pot of chili…Today will be…gathering info for the re-fi guy. Should be easy as I just had to get all of this together 9 months ago and it’s all still in one place. Other than a few things I need copies of…I guess I’ll talk to him today. He was going to bring stuff to me at work…oh well. Maybe after the sun comes up and the roads clear a bit I can get out. Not going to worry about it today though. I also have some scripts to read for committee. Few bits of laundry to do…Maybe I’ll try to tackle the room that gives me hives. maybe.

I hope that wherever you are you are warm and safe!

So…I have to admit. This wicked weather is sometimes nice. You’re home. You’re warm. You’ve got a pot of chili on the stove, so the house smells cozy and inviting. There’s movies on tv to watch…

Yeah well. I got a little batty around 2pm. Kind of bored and restless…wishing comedy hadn’t been canceled. Wishing it was snow instead of ice so that it wouldn’t be BEYOND STUPID to get out. Wishing and hoping…

I thought I’d do a little laundry instead. Hey. I’m trying to be grown up and responsible here. So, whatever. Laundry. I always clean the lint screen thingy. Always. Anyone raised in a house with my dad, well. One just always does that. While I had the screen thingy out, I cleaned the lint off and as I moved the screen back….it knocked a lighter down into the hole.

FUCK. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK around are you KIDDING ME WITH THIS?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!

I have no earthly good reason why I’m not on a reality show. Why is there not a camera crew following me every moment of this life I’m leading? I know. I don’t have an answer to that either.

A few phone calls and my best good friend Joe makes his way over on the treacherous icy roads with his tool box and a smile! I hold all the screws as he removes the entire back off of my dryer. Nothin. So we begin (and by we I mean I’m watching encouragingly) to remove the other section and HEY THERE IT IS!!!! Comes right out! Oh glorious handy dandy friends. Glory Glory Glory!

I don’t have to dry my jeans with the hair dryer. I’m having a glass of wine and yet another bowl of chili in celebration. I’m drying my jeans…but you can kiss my foot if I’m doing anymore laundry tonight.

Oh it’s started here folks. Freezing rain. Slick. Gopher snot slick. (no. no smartass I have never actually felt how slick gopher snot is, but i’m pretty sure it’s slicker than human snot.) I got out to run some errands with Joe this morning and we both almost bit it more than once in the Homegirl Depot parking lot. Gah. . . I really dislike Homegirl Depot. I’m a Lowes girl myself…but my favorite is my local Ace Hardware right around the corner from my house. That’s where we hit bingo for ice melt and shrink wrap for my windows…

way back in the Saginaw days we were made to shrink wrap/insulate our windows in the company housing. I’d never heard/seen/experienced such a thing. Well fast forward ten years and I own a house, which means I’m responsible for draftiness and energy savings and whotnot. It’s an old house and the windows…they suck. So Joe and I tracked down the kits, bought a couple and VOILA! I’m done. (well, I’ve done four. I have three more to go but lost interest. shiny shiny moments.) The windows in my bedroom are horribly drafty, and it’s just effing cold. I feel like my furnace runs constantly. Hopefully this will help. Michigan was good for a few things I guess.

This weather is going to get worse tonight and tomorrow…appointment are bailing left and right. my first one isn’t till one tomorrow…IF they show up. Sigh. It will work out, we all just have to be careful.

Comedy tonight has been cancelled. I have scraped up the makings for chili and am going to do that. I was going to try to hit the gym, but I almost didn’t make it into my driveway two hours ago, so I know it’s worse now.

Socked In.

That’s me for the day/night. I have movies to watch and some laundry to do and a few more windows to shrink wrap. Say a prayer that we don’t lose power and the tree limbs don’t crack. Stormy Soprano just came in soaking wet….gah.

Stay warm ya’ll. I’m hitting the couch

need a little boost today? go read Chili’s rambling about last week and watching our new President get sworn in.

last night had a blast, had a mini reunion to dish about our 20 year that’s coming up. Old friends, new jokes. Lot’s of laughing. It’s going to be a great party.

I stayed out late and twisted off a little, and in spite the fact, I went to church this morning. by myself. I tried a place here in OKC that is pretty liberal. Some of my friends, when I told them I wanted to try it, just rolled their eyes and said, “well. YOU WOULD want to go there. Good grief. I’m not EVEN going to go with you. that place is a nutcase…bla bla bla” Granted. From people whom have never been…so I was trepidatious.

But it was nice. The piano was nice. The pews were nice. The message of peace and love and understanding was nice. I will try it again. There’s another place I’m looking at, but frankly this morning by the time I talked myself into getting up and going I only had enough drive time to hit this one.

I watched The Women today. Ehhhh. It was average. Fun to see all those actresses in the same place, but the story was mediocre. I need to be doing laundry, gathering my tax info and papers since I have a 1:30 appointment tomorrow with the tax girl. There’s a color class in the morning 10-noon that I’ve signed up for. it’s free. and I’m a sucker for free education.

Tomorrow night is comedy, recording the podcasts live tomorrow night. I’ll post a link this week so you can peruse as you see fit. Also going to try to track down my refinance guy, whom I never heard from last week.

On top of all of this? Impending ice and sleet and snow tomorrow. Now. We here in OKC have a fear of the ice. After last winter…Gah. I’m a little nervous since I saw it made the national news…But it’s not just us. I think everyone is going to see some nasty weather this week. Good luck to you all. Be safe. Be warm.

I swear I’m getting up to gather info now. I swear I am.