Holy shit I’m broke. I paid all bills last night, including my mortgage, not including payment on past dental work and my campaign contribution and after oh. . . about three transfers from savings. . . I have about 100 bucks till the 15th. Plus gas for a trip to the Arkansas this weekend.

Being a grown up sucks donkey balls.

Having said that…there will be a few changes made in my spending habits. Too many pedicures and speakeasy nights. Too many eating lunch out and being social on the weekends. Not enough building my business (though we did numbers for the quarter and I’m right on target. Still need to build my color numbers, but even with flex scheduling I’m doing 40 hours a week and selling products like a madwoman) need more clients and more money. I’m not going to discontinue the 40 bucks a month for w.w. or the 27 for the gym. not an option. May look into taking away the netflix and carving down the cable bill. I think it’s my social life that is costing me a fortune. I need to find a tall deliciously funny boy to hang out with so I can quit going out so much!!! Heh. That was my nudge to the Universe. Haven’t sent one online in awhile…

I also have to start saving. And by saving, I mean SAVING for my NYC trip which is coming up FAST!! I’m having a 100 bucks taken out of my check each time, and this last one paid off my 550 class and left me with 50 to take. I believe I have 5 checks before I leave so that should be sufficient.

The cats ALL need their visit to the vet. oy. I have another dental appointment (que valium) in three weeks to get a cleaning which insurance covers and my night guard for the teeth grinding which insurance somewhat covers. I still owe 200 from my last visit when my jaw was locked up tighter than a drum.

have I mentioned how being a grownup sucks giant dinosaur dong?

I feel like it should be easier, more organized and clear cut than it is. Obviously it’s clear when things are due and how much they will be but damn. This month just got away from me. Is anyone else chasing their tail? How do you stay organized? do you have methods? Budgets? I can only laugh at a budget right now because everything I make goes to something else. that’s my budget. and I got my stimulus check this week. 600 bucks sitting right here…and I want to build my fence with it in a month or so but damn. It’s go a long way towards helping…sigh.

I have decided that the only way I really want to stay being a grown up is if I get regular sex with George Clooney. And by regular I mean only on the days that end in a Y.

so be it.

Apparently I have swapped bodies with my sister. I “put up” a bushel of fresh sweet corn this afternoon.

Yep. You read that correctly.

On our way home from the lake yesterday, I wanted to stop in the PV (pauls valley) for the corn. The gals had taken a detour en route and we ate the most succulent, tender, delicious corn on the cob that I grilled for our Saturday evening meal. Brilliant. But…it never occured to me that I could just buy a few ears. I bought an entire bushel. For fifteen bucks. Yep. That is full to the brim, two brown grocery sacks full of corn.

I divvied up about 16 ears to take to Arkansas, and then set aside about 10 to take to work to hand out. I gave Caro a walmark sack full. The rest have been blanched, cold water bathed and cut off said cob and into freezer bags and into my freezer. The winter soups and yumminess await!.

Now. I had to call my sister and tell her I accidently swapped bodies so if she was reaching for a beer, that was why. She informed me of the correct procedure to “put up” corn and away I went. Lookie at me!!!!! I am amazing myself today.

First I bought a large electrical appliance. Weedeater. go figure. Very excited. Then did all the laundry including sheets. It’s clean sheet Monday! I have cleaned and arranged and put together the cute solar lights in my front yard that outline my path. I have arranged and hung photos on the Hall of Fame. I’m a freakin maniac. I’m also about to get my stinky ass body in the shower and try to powerwash the funk off of me. Gentle readers, this hair has not been shampooed since FRIDAY!!!!! it was second day saturday, i was in the lake on sunday, today just working…..it happens!!! I’m allowing extra getting ready time before I go watch some comedy with Joe.

One thing I did NOT get done…oh shit. two things. Pay bills. Tomorrow will do that. and go get my pics put from my camera onto a cd and make some prints. I have to get some new stuff online and my computer is funky at the best of times so that’s the easiest way to do it!!! soon! we’ll have picture pages soon!!

life is good.

I’m cleaning house like a meth addict. It’s just fine with me too. Getting a bunch accomplished and it feels so good!! got home from Ebb’s Cabin last night. Exhausted from my one night away with the girls. The mini-break was a huge success. I made my homemade quac and did steaks and corn on the grill for us all on Saturday night. Karen and Carolyn went to the casino that day. Caro came home with 600 dollars and Karen the Queen of Everything….??1200.00 YEP. TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! ridiculous. we all fanned it out and stuck it in our bras and took pictures!!!

So I came home last night and promptly went to bed at eight and slept till about eight this morning! got up rearing to go, did cleaning at the salon, lunch with Maegen and company, then off to spend my housewarming gift cards. Homegirl Depot gave me a weed eater. Lowes gave me some nails for the bottle tree and an extension cord and some light bulbs. Target gave me a boatload of stuff!! Very exciting.

Now, it’s time to get busy with the rest of the laundry and putting new stuff away.

hope your monday is grand and flying by!!! it’s a short week…hold on!!

The Funk that was…isn’t.
I’m rarely down for long. half a day, maybe. But thanks for the thoughts and words. As par for the course, you guys rock the casbah.

This evening am meeting the gang at Mamasita’s for some fiesta and dinnner, then for me home to get packed for the weekend. Tomorrow am leaving work early to head south to Ebb’s Cabin. I have no idea other than it’s a little mini-break cooked up with the purple pool gal pals. they all left today, took off from work and off they went. It’s an hour and a half drive. They left at nine. At noon, I called and they were in Pauls Valley…(still about half way to go on the journey) shopping for t-shirts and having a trip to the Wal-Mark, seeing some sights. They may or may not be there by the time I get there tomorrow afternoon!! We’ll come back sometime Sunday. Nice break with some nice people. I’m in great need of a break. next weekend I have four days off, but no rest for the weary. driving. hair. family. driving. none of that relaxing. but whatever. I have tomorrow!!

I hope you had a grand Friday. I hope your weekend is stupendous. I hope George Clooney decides to be my boyfriend before I’m too old and creaky to kiss.

I’m in a funk.

Funkytown funkalicious funkadoodle doo kind of funk.

and I need to shake the bitch off…and I’m working on it…Cars Ten text me a few jokes. One being

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Elifino!!

pronounced hell if I know!!

good stuff.

have been busier than a one armed paper hanger today, and got a quick break to come home, snork down some fiber added hamburger helper leftovers, and head back.

got up and went to the gym today.

I ran three miles. Ran/walked. Watched the entire ER ep with my boyfriend GC as Doug, does the road trip after his father dies. BRILLIANT stuff. Delicious.

I’m doing good stuff today…and will get out of the funk hopefully soon. It’s a waste of energy and time and damnit…boys suck.

How is it that my last post was THURSDAY?!?!?! My weekends are so stinking busy it’s a wonder I make it through at all. and don’t have all that much time to chat this morning because I couldn’t sleep last night so it was well after midnight when I hit the sack and am now sleepily gulping down coffee and almost running late for working. bleagh.

Highlights:

Chrome was in town!! I had a mini-college reunion at my house complete with cooking out and cocktails and double star crunch cookies! We laughed from start until finish. No kidding. It was past midnight when everyone finally left. I don’t really know when I have laughed so hard for so long. Talk about recharging your batteries!!! I’m going to get another one together around the holidays when she comes back home. It was way too much fun not to! Hopefully the Tulsa and Texas people can make it up for that!! This was spur of the moment, and many were busy or didn’t get info early enough. My fault entirely. But next time….oh next time! hahahahahaha.

Yesterday I drove down to Norman to take Joe some wardrobe pieces for his movie shoot. While in the college town, I stopped by The Bookshop. The one that was formerly owned by myself and by Gert. It was the first time in years that I’d been there….had myself a tiny meltdown in the backroom but rallied and bought some books. Our presence is still on every wall, every poster, every book. That was comforting. It is doing well, the books looked happy, there were a few customers. there was no broadway tunes or toby keith blaring from the radio…but hey. . . there really are only two original crazy ladies. I don’t know what prompted me to do so, but I’m glad I did.

Comedy tonight with Spence. It’s a fundraiser/roast for a comedian who’s been sick. That should prove a hoot and a hollar!

Huzzuah and Happy Tuesday ya’ll!

Wonderboy and family leave today. We’ve had a great week of playing and feeding and bottle making and booty cleaning and battle raging. Today it ends. I think the Wonderboys will be happy to be back in their home and close to Mamo and Paburl. The Wonderbaby is just a delight. Seriously if he’s awake he’s eating. If not he’s asleep. How hard is that? I’m going up to Arkansas over the 4th of July weekend so I’ll see them in two weeks, bringing Wonderboy back with me for his week’s vacation on the frontier and swimming lessons.

Have I told you we get to take a field trip that Monday to the State Capitol?? The redhead has said he would take us around and give us a cookie lookie. Wonderboy is a mini version of our state’s governor and I call him gov now and again. I asked him this week what it would be that he would do if he were the governer.

“I’d do anything I ever wanted….like…prolly go to LeggoLand! and I would have crab leggs for lunch every day and not have to pay for them!!”

When we drove past the capitol building I pointed it out and said that’s where the governor works and he said he wanted to go see it! This should be interesting. It’s still a few weeks away, but man oh man. Some stories are brewing there!!

Ok guys, the baby is crying and I need some snuggle time and have about fifteen minutes before I have to shower so I’m ditching you for him. Isn’t it just like a woman to ditch her friends for a man? Even if he’s three months old, chubby as the day is long and wearing this onsie that I bought him!

I feel like the date post came off as me being an uber-liberated bitch.

I would like to make very clear, that I do not think the guy is a bad buy. I think he was trying to be very old school gentlemanly and that’s fantastic. I think he’s a great guy….just not for me.

A lot of the funkiness stemmmed from me I think. From my rigid hold on the “this is gonna suck donkey balls” mentality.

In all fairness to me, however…I knew there was no spark after the phone call. Remember kids, we met when I was at a birthday party having tall beers. We met towards the END of the party. So the phone call…well I knew where it was going and should have been dropped off at the corner.

But whatever. It is what it is. Sometimes there is rhyme without reason. Sometimes there really isn’t any of it. I told this guy client the other day, “your rewards are directly related to the porportion of your risk”

I sound smart sometimes. and sometimes I sound like a bitch. just wanted to clarify I meant no harm towards the fella. It just didn’t fit.

The WonderFamily has been here this weekend and it’s been LOVELY!!! They like the house, the house holds lots of people and doesn’t feel cramped. It’s all working well. We cooked out after I got off work on Saturday and celebrated Bonusmom’s birthday. Sunday we all loaded up and went over to the big pool with Maegen and Company. Wonderboy decided to just run and jump his skinnny ass into the deep end right off the bat. He lost grip of his float board and started going under. He bobbed back to the top and you saw the look on his face when he realized he couldn’t touch, and started going under again. I saw it all happen and ran from across the yard and jumped in and got him. He was panicked, I was scared shitless, it was really deep and I couldn’t touch, and he was pushing me down as I pushed him to the top of the water. I gulped in gallons and was couching and choking a little. Everyone mobilized and got to him as I pushed him to the top so he was fine. A little shook up and fine. After he got the water off his face he looked at me and said, “I’m allright!”

good. good.

Meanwhile my phone was in my pocked of the shorts I was wearing when I jumped in!!

So…My replacement phone is on it’s way and will arrive tomorrow…HOWEVER…The Brother In Law just handed the phone back to me and it’s working!!!! No now I’m on the phone with the phone insuraance people trying to cancel my phone and get my 50 dollar deposit back…which they just told me was not going to happen. So. I’ve paid fifty dollars for a refurbished phone. Man. The Universe is still testing me, and as Mandrea said, it’s those really hard essay tests not even a multiple choice!.

Oh well.

Say la vee.

My phone works. My kid isn’t brain dead. Life goes on.

The kids are going to take Wonderboy to his eye doc appointment then come get me and we’re going shopping a bit. Sams, etc. I may try to spend some of my gift cards from the housewarming. I need a new hose (dirty!) and a shovel and things like that. Tonight we’re going to Bricktown for dinner and then home. Wonderbaby has been delightful. He eats constantly. I’m not even kidding ya’ll. If that kid isn’t sucking on a bottle he’s asleep. We do like our food in this family!! Wonderboy is staying with Bonusmom on the Frontier tonight, then the Wonderfamily is heading to Granite to see MeMe for a day or two. After dinner tonight I’m going to meet up with the redhead to watch some comedy and kind of defrag from the weekend. it’s been one. I’ll tell ya that much.

How was yours?

Waaaaay back on Friday night, yours truly had a date.
A real date, with a boy and dinner and drinks.
I chose to meet said boy at place…just never know about having someone come to your house and being trapped in the car with them all night long. (that sounds perfectly cynical and awful….it is what it is.)

I had taken Friday off work to laze and clean for the impending arrival of the WonderFamily on Saturday. I slept late, laid on the couch, watched 27 Dresses, mowed the front lawn etc. It was fantastic. Then it came time to get ready and with a little help from the redhead, I got the clothes lined out and off I went.

I got there too early (habit) and sat in my car and cleaned out my purse for a few minutes then walked in. He wasn’t there. Arg. But after a bit he walked in and while a little awkward, we said our hello’s and you look nice’s and got to a table. Whew. Breath. We ordered drinks (i thought keep these babies coming kid and i’ll slip you another tip!THOUGHT IT but didn’t say it and didn’t drink a whole lot because well, hello! FIRST DATE) and started the talking. It was fine. Conversation was wide and random and I’m good like that, skipping and floating from one subject to the next without much connection.

You’re asking yourselves…what’s the deal? Where’s the catch? If she’s posting about it there’s gotta be something…yep. You know me well.

It was just weird. All around funkytown weird.

He ordered for me. We got around to ordering dinner after a few appetizers (oysters of the half shell which I did two of for the first time because I didn’t want to act all girly and felt the need to be open and adventerous. Kids…like swollowing a big ball of snot with some horseradish and cocktail sauce on it. Never. Again.) He asked what looked good and while I was in my head thinking a taxi, I said a few options I was considering and then the waiter came over and he ordered for me. all the things I said. We never talked about ordering different things then sharing them. Nope. And I had already decided to go a different way with the food….whatever. Ok. Now we have all this food (which was all bad by the way. the restaraunt was just bad) and somehow he slips into conversation about his second gastric bypass surgery??!?!?!?! I didn’t even touch that one. Just let er go on by.

Now earlier in the evening we’ve discussed, as much as we can about the fact that he died.

Not a typo.

Bad car wreck, he and a tree and he broke about a million bones in his face and had all but two ribs broken and was in a coma for 21 days and had to re-learn stuff and doesn’t remember much of anything and . . . . WHEW. Ok. His conversation is a little loopy, like he doesn’t track very well and goes in circles a lot, but I can handle something like that. I’m not so self centered and vain. Plus, I do that on a really good day!

So we’ve covered the dying and coming back to life and made mention of the second gastric bypass and he ordered for me…then he says he tells his mother EVERYTHING. Every. Single. Thing. They have had extensive conversations about me already. She wanted to know did I like OU? Was I coming to the brother’s wedding in August? All kinds of stuff.

wedding in august…i kind of said I’d go with him on the night I first met him after about 4 big beers and an irish car bomb.

It’s like she’s already cross stitching my Christmas stocking for the mantle.

There were some pointed questions from him such as “just how old are you” phrased exactly like that. and the look on his face when I had to mention that I’d been married before…these are facts that I cannot and would not change about myself. It is what it is. But there was a little judgement there. And he’s in my age bracket, so I don’t know what that was about.

We decided to leave and go meet his brother and soon to be sister in law for a drink. Now, I had to do all of the planning and if any of you know me, you know it’s like rubbing a cat the wrong way. But I give him the benefit of the doubt, he doesn’t live here and oh yeah, he died. So we finally decide on Shady Pines and meet there. Mandrea and Seige were sitting at the bar and that was serendipitous so it was good to have someone on my team. About half way thru the first beer he announces that it’s his birthday. He didn’t want to say anything and look like an asshole. his words. Sigh.

SHOTS!!! WE NEED SHOTS!!!

The brother and sisinlaw were fun. . . but the brother, every chance he got to meet my eyes, said Thank You. Once he was coming back from the bathroom and grabbed my sholder and said, “Thank you. No. Really. You have no idea. Thank you. so much.” I thought he was referring to his birthday and kind of blew it off because it was getting a little strange (relative at this point) and he said “you have no idea. since the accident. . . just . . . thank you” I just looked at him and said, “hey, don’t be an asshole. This isn’t a pity date. I am here simply because I was asked to be here. I realize it must have been really hard for you and the rest of your family, but don’t make me out to be the girl on a date with the guy who died. have a drink and breathe in and out for awhile.”

ugh.

Then the sis in law, who was quite charming actually, starts quizzing me about do I want to get married, do I want children…with all the hope and fervor in her eyes of a girl about to be married in two months. These are questions that my friends know the answers to. And I guess I can’t be too hoity toity because I do post it regularly on the freakin INTERNET. But she was planning my wedding too, I’m not kidding.

Now, it was getting to be around midnight and for me it was a school night and I wanted OUT of this date. One tidbit I haven’t shared is that he had a DUI this winter and had a brethalizer in his car so after a drink it wouldn’t start. I drove us to Shady Pines and his brother was going to take him home. FINE. But the brother started talking like we were going to go off together and I was going to take him home and FUCK AROUND. I was outta there. Said our good byes, gave a little hug to everyone and gone baby gone. Home.

The next morning before 8 a.m. he called me. He’d already had a phone call from his mother and from his father. He said he had a hangover. I didn’t think we drank that much. I know I didn’t. He told his father that I was more of a pro at drinking, that I could drink him under the table. His dad said, Does she drink Canadian Mist? HUH??? his response? She’ll probably drink anything.

Kids…I have cocktails, and possibly more than any of you on any given random day. But I’m not a drunk. Nor am I that girl who get’s shitfaced drunk on A FIRST DATE. So all of this is quite frankly, pissing me off. Plus, it’s BEFORE EIGHT IN THE MORNING> GO AWAY.

It was a fine time. I put myself out there. I met some new people. I’m not going on another date with him. But am still open to dating. This whole thing was just WEIRD. and NOT quirky and endearing weird. just fucking weird.

That’s the end of my date story. I have more to tell but will post the rest of the weekend update later. I stil don’t have a chair in the office and sitting on the floor is putting my foot to sleep.