So, what with all the motivational talks on the comment section and the fucking BRILLIANT writings of Joe…I’m feeling good, ya’ll! It’s ok. I”m excited about Friday and the date with the guy. I know I mentioned another guy, FOS (friend of Spence) from the other night and frankly, I’m interested in him and the redhead is allegedly doing work on my behalf to see how that would pan out….but I’m ok with Friday.

Not one to ever borrow trouble…heh heh heh…and to follow my favorite song and Look On The Bright Side Of Life…let’s just hope we have a plan.
Let us not practice that age old commentary of:

“I dont know what do you want to do”
” I don’t care. Really. What do you want to do”
lather.
rinse.
repeat.

GOD SAVE ME FROM THAT.

and for the love of Petey Fisk, someone give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

and Someone give me a freakin HIGH FIVE BECAUSE CHROME IS COMING HOME!!! Locals: Joe/Gert/MGirl…we get facetime with the ChromeyonefromNYC. I will let you know exact date and time and if it doesn’t work out, no worries. We’ve got the holiday visit as well.

Halakaleem!!!

Life is good, people. If you were in doubt, you weren’t sitting on the patio of the Speakeasy tonight drinking what could have possibly been the most perfect gin and tonic ever made. (so claimed M’Lynn.)

nighty night.

The last two posts have garnered some brilliance in the comment section. I encourage every reader…that means you…to click back, click over and cruise through.

THESE PEOPLE ARE MY FRIENDS!!!!!

Holy crappiedoodle.

How’d I ever get to be so lucky.

Another day closer and my mind is a titch more clear than cloudy. I feel all of it. Mostly hopeful. As far as Mr Uninterested goes…mentally pulling back from all of that. As Joe said, “if he can’t be smart enough to pluck the apple off the cart when it’s right in front of him…let him chase it down the road.” that’s a paraphrase, but you get the gist.

as far as Mr. Ridiculous goes….auditions are still open.

and Chrome…do plan on having that tasty treat for us in September my dear. I’ll practice mixing it here until then.

Huzzuah and Happy Humping Day. It’s the half way mark for most of you normals, so enjoy! and it’s been awhile, but do you remember that I still love this one?

The conundrum lies here. Right here in the middle of my brain that has a death grip on a crush of a certain someone and has held on far past the freshness date. It’s obviously not reciprocated so it’s time to bless it and let it go. Look, I’m not arguing that point. I’m really not. It sucks because we talk. A Lot. Various modes of communication by the fist fulls. And we connect. In a way that is attractive to me. . . there’s the rub. Friendship has always been an attraction.

So, I have this date with this guy at the end of the week. It is my homework, to sort thru all this debris and be clear of mind and heart by the time we see each other, so as not to compare and confuse and corrupt what could be…a really great thing.

fuck.
around.
why is it all so complicated???

So.

I have a date.

For Friday night. with the guy I met at Marco the Great’s birthday party. The friend of QueenE’s brother that he hadn’t seen in years who just happened to be in the same place at the same time that night.

He called and we talked for about an hour yesterday. He lives about forty five minutes outside the city but will be in this weekend. Dinner and drinks after I get off work. Not too late because it’s a school night for me you know.

A date.

I don’t even know how to process this right now.

moving on.

Saw Indiana Jones last night.

I didn’t sleep well, what with all of the mass amounts of ick factor throughout that movie. Indy…I love the man. I love the music. I don’t even mind Shia. But I felt the story to be a bit trite, a titch contrived, and just a little so-so. Having said all of that, I’m glad I saw it. I love that franchise.

I made it to the grocery yesterday for my Big Shop. Back to eating healthy. No more eating out, more taking my lunch and making fresh salads and actually getting back to cooking for myself again. 188.00 kids. One hundred and eighty eight dollars. Fuck around. Lot’s of canned goods because I’m a freak about being “stocked up” It makes me feel safe and secure to have food in the pantry and in the freezer. One would think I was a child of the Depression. Nope. Just a fat kid.

I have a potluck at work today, cut up a bunch of fresh fruit to take. Going to swing by the store for some tortillia chips and take salsa I have here. Should be an ok contribution. Tonight going to the frontier to do some bonusmom hair and pick up the last cat. Finally. I have some home hair to get done this week for Delbert and her brood. Friday will be here before we know it.

Somebody remind me that you cannot ask the Universe, continually, for something, and then be wigged out when you get it. Seriously. I have my reasons, but am ignoring them in an effort to give everything a chance and to be open to new experiences.

how grown up does that shit sound?!?!?!?!?

It’s raining cats and dogs here. Well, just cats in my case. We are all laid out in the office as that’s where I have to do the computer-ing now and I’ve got the back door open and it’s nice and cool….great day to have off. I plan on cleaning the house, doing chores and hitting the grocery store this afternoon. I’d like to wait till it clears off so I’m not hauling stuff in the wet weather, but if I have to eat one more hot dog bun I may scream! I know. My own doing, so quit complaining. Will do.

I told you a small amount about Saturday night at the War Bar with Gert and company. The company I didn’t tell you about was a guy from high school. He was just dee are unk drunkie magoo drunk. I felt like I babysat him for two hours at least, and he was in that talking in circles I’m this guy and look how much money I have and me me me me me Vomit. gross. It was pathetic and sad and I just felt bad about him all day long on Saturday. Like a pit in my stomach that wouldn’t go away. Apparently he came back into the war bar the next day and apologized to Gert for his behavior. Maybe he’s not so sad and pathetic but man oh man, it made me really happy to be living in my skin in my life . As Gert says, I’d rather be me than you. halakaleem!

Saturday night was a surprise birthday party for Marco the Great. QueenE organized it and got balloons and the cake and decorations and Mgirl, Mandrea, Seige and myself went early to get the table set and saved. After several false starts with lighting the candles, he arrived and was totally surprised and the night was ON!! Spence and two of his friends showed up for about ten minutes to visit on their way to the movies. I don’t know if they were just dropping by to see if it was going to be more fun than the movies and would possibly blow off that plan…apparently not because we talked for literally ten minutes and they scrammmed. He did have a friend with him that I’d met previously. . . interesting. Maybe more details on him to come. We’ll see. Anyways later in the evening QueenE introduced me to another guy. A friend of her brothers. We really hit it off and talked and talked. He asked me to be his date at a wedding he’s in this summer…I accepted…then found out the wedding isn’t until August…I asked did he think we could possibly hang out a little bit BEFORE that and we laughed and I’m pretty sure he got my number. I didn’t get his because I don’t call boys.

Yes. I realize it is 2008. I realize I’m not in a position to be finicky about old fashioned ideals. But here’s the thing…I get a do over. Clean slate. And this time it’s going to be different. If any man wants to talk to me, or spend time with me, they have to make the call. They need to step up and do the asking. It is what it is. Old fashioned? yes. But I think it will show the measure of a man who can understand and respect where I’m coming from with this.

So anyway, I haven’t heard from him this weekend, and while I believe what I just typed up there, I did give QueenE permission to do what she felt led to do in respect to playing matchmaker or go between on this. I’m here. I’m open. It is what it is.

Yesterday I purple pooled it with M’Lynn. Got lots of sun and color and talked about everything and anything, lots of talk about boys and men and relationships and changes in our life and wants and hopes. Man, some people pay a lot of money for chlorine, or gas for the trip to the lake, or for therapy. We have a 25 dollar blow up pool and call a pizza and that’s what it takes. What a blessing!

Hey, I haven’t told you who I saw last week!!! What a crazy life this is! So, I’m at work and it’s kind of slow and I’m sitting up front reading the paper. In walks this guy, who out of the corner of my eye looks and sounds so familiar!! But whatever, I’m reading and I didn’t get the appointment so I continue with my day. When he was in the shampoo bowl, it clicked! I found out his name and walked over when he was in the chair and put my arms around him and said, “Sweet Baby Carsten, how are you?!?!?!” It was Carsten. We went to college together, did shows together!! Hysterical!!!! He had just filed for divorce THAT DAY before he came in, he’s a brick layer, living in the city, no kids. Said he’s trying to get used to apartment living again and that sucked. Divorce just sucks, let’s face it. But we got semi caught up and text each other most of the afternoon! Isn’t that just great?!?!?!?!!? Chrome, if you make it home this summer, I’m arranging a get together at my house and we’re ALL going to get some face time. After ten years, we deserve it!!!

Ok kids, I need to get more coffee, find some motivation to do laundry and clean my house, work up the energy for a walmark trip, I’m supposed to do hair this afternoon so I’ll have to make arrangements for that. Need to get Stormy from the frontier and am going to try to see Indy with M’Lynn at 6:15. Let’s see how much of that I get done!!!

That is Gert’s phrase for our hometown. Yep. I agree.

MGirl and myself mosied out that way last night to see her at work at the War Bar. It was a good night that started with onion burgers and coneys and ended with a lot of laughs with B and Scottyringo and J and B. Funn-knee stuff. I have very little time to go into the craziness of it all but I have to give you this one story before I get ready for work.

We’re sitting at the bar, just talking and taking it all in, all of the batshitcrazy that is a Friday night there and this girl says hi. She’s there with her husband and we’re making small talk. Did you two grow up in batshitcrazytown? No, says Mgirl. Yes, says Zelda.

What year did you graduate? she asks…fuck. and so it begins.

a million years ago.

a million?

yes. a million.

no really, when did you graduate?

MGirl pipes in with 1989 and the girl looks like she got slapped.

Huh. she says, twisting her ever so blonde hair. (not a comment on the blondes, obviously as my hair is almost see thru, just giving a description)

I don’t know anybody who graduated in 89…..(eyes light up) Oh! My step-mom graduated in 92! But my dad really loves her!

I know. right?

When she left, she apologized to Mgirl for not remembering her unusual name and was laughing and said, “no it’s different. I like it. At least it’s not something like Trashcan.”

This my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg.

My city within a city just picked up my recycling for the first time!!! Halakaleem!! we get a big blue dumpster that holds all of the recycle. No sorting. Just throw that stuff in there. The first Thursday of the month, they pick it up and empty it. And it just happened!! See!! I am trying to be a good human to the earth. trying trying trying.

but i have seriously GOT to get to the grocery. especially weighing in this afternoon…last night I had a pb and j on a leftover hotdog bun, along with more chips and slices of cheese. What the hell. I’ll just charge the groceries. head+sand=peace.

and no.

I’m not pregnant.

Everything in and about the house is still virginal, remember? (ok. I’m not so much but might as well be…)

I’m taking those damned chips to work today. Get them outta my house!!

Hey ya’ll. It’s Thursday. Post Humping Day. I hope it’s delicious and fast and all you want it to be. I love you. I love my recycle guy. I love George Clooney. I wonder if he’s ever jacked up his money before?

Remember awhile back when Gert said it was an I go first type of friendship she and I had? I buy a house, she buys a house. My a/c goes, her a/c goes. Well. I just kicked that theory in its ear this morning. Remember again, when she inadvertantly paid Noodle’s summer tuition twice and jacked up her account all to hell’s half acre?

Hahahahahaha.

I paid my fucking mortgage payment twice. The gee dee website had no place to view pending payments. and since I’m trying to save a freakin tree and pay online, and since it didn’t post when it should have and since I’m paranoid about being late on the payment, I played it again sam. Motherfucker. zero balance. So I panicked and transfered ALL of my savings into the account, after dropping five hundred in it last night. Thankfully the WellsFargo people will give the money back to my account today, and I had overdraft protection on my checking…I had no idea…but it’s on my credit card and that sucked, but when I transfered the money from savings they will credit the three hundred and some odd fees back to the credit card and when I get my second mortgage payment back into my account I can replenish my savings just a little…but then I’m still broke.

WHAT THE FUCK????????????

I kind of feel proud for having handled so much business before 7:30 in the morning, but that feeling is replaced quickly by the sheer stupidity of my money skills.

I’ve gotten so much better throughout my life at doing this, I’ve even faked myself into believing I was grown up enough to handle it. I want to have organization and computerized money stuff but I am at a loss and completly overwhelmed. So much so that I cannot even go back and correct the spelling in this post, which is like nails on a chalkboard for some of you, so all apologies there.

In brighter news, Clemos hockey team took the big shiney thing last night. atta boy Clemo!!! Atta boy.

the problem with my internet was that I decided not to use all the parts they actually gave me to hook it up. I mean, I have this million yard long cord of ethernet wire that my dad gave me, so even though my house isn’t wireless per se, I can tote my machine around and act as though it is. Huh. Well, tonight I had the idea to use the cable they gave me, and thus far, so good. I type with one eye on the screen and the other on the little black modem box watching for activity on the send and receive lights. I’m tweaking.

Work was slow today. Had some cancellations. Mgirl and I ran around a little. The a/c, while we thought was corrected again today, was not. Still rigged with the piece of wood. why are we fucking around with a band aid when we should shoot the horse and bring in a new one? I’m waiting for my guy, Marco the Great to become a certified contractor with my home warranty company. That way we know he gets the moolah. It’s kind of a bitch, yes. And this months electric bill may give me the biggest emotional experience of my life so far. Bur for right now, right here, me and the cats are feeling pretty cool. That is subject to change at any given moment.

I have to get to the grocery store tomorrow after work. This morning for breakfast I had two slices of 2% cheese and some nacho cheese doritos left over from the party.

yup.

They don’t call me Zelda Ridiculous for nuthin, ya know!

I’m looking forward to the weekend. Friday night is War Bar and sitting in front of Gert. I’m bringing the party. Bee and ScottyRingo, their two friends, me and MGirl, Smurf and Dish and possibly my mortage broker. I have said we’ll all be home by midnight so it’s an early one since I have the working on Saturday but it will be great to see her. The housewarming was so overwhelming I said nary a hell nor a oh her direction. MISSING!!!!!

Can I just say, I’m still trying to get over SATC the Movie??? Still. I don’t know if I ever will, guys. I just don’t know. the soundtrack has not left my cd player and we are listening to it on repeat at work. I watched the end of season 2 and the first of season 3 last night and this morning. It just never stops. Seriously.

I went to the Frontier tonight to fetch my chirrens. I only got two, KikiMama and Sambo. Stormy was off fighting the great fight, I suppose. I’ll get him this weekend when I go play with Wonderboy on Sunday afternoon. I will have him Monday afternoon as well after he gets out of VBS. Some swimming is in order. Some time at my house, which I suspect will be very boring. Possibly a trip to the Omniplex. We’ll just see how it plays out.

I’m just full of blither and blather. A little gun shy to type all of this and not have it post due to malfunctions but those lights seem to be blinking…let’s hit the button and see.