something funky has been going on with my internet connection,.

this means I just didn’t know what to do when the new computer got tangled into a web of funkiness.

I figured it out tonight.

now I’m too tired to write an update of the week since the last post.

Just a few things.

saw phil vassar in concet tonight. go google and itues the crap out of this guy. delish. JUMPED onto the top of his baby grand which he played standing up like a sex crazed maniac. . . . that last part could have been me….but he did jump onto it several times and play it standing.

SLURP.

For the NYC gals, fyi. I am coming on the 8th. That is a Saturday. Leaving on the 13th. that is a Thursday. talked to Kizz today and seems like there may have been a little corn-fusion in that arena. I will get the specifics later now that I am back online.

this is what I look like going to bed.

Oh what a week.

It’s only wednesday. Which means it’s only the second day of my week.

And holy canole, what a week.

As I sit here at the kitchen table, typing on my handy dandy little iBook, there is a LIVE armadillo snuffing through the grass right outside my door. Anyone ever seen a live one of these things? Funky. Just funky.

Let me give you a little insight as to what it means to be a frontier girl. Frontier Girl. capital letters thankyouverymuch.

We had a flood on Sunday. Hurricane Erin snuck up on us here in Oklahoma and screamed BoogidyBoodigyBoogidy and we all went back to sleep…until the flood waters came. 8.5 inches here. EIGHT AND A HALF FREAKIN INCHES. Well, we have a creek/river thingy just to the south of the property. Way out of banks. Flooded just a ridiculous amount. The end of our street, if you continued past the house, is completly closed. Ponchatrain. Boo.

Monday Stormy Soprano jumped up onto a cabinet and promptly set his hind quarter on fire from the lit candle. Smoke. Stinky burnt ass smoke. He was walking around smoking from behind. Oh good lawd but he stunk. poor boy. looks like I just took a hunk of hair and chopped it right off….like the fancy girl in Sixteen Candles who got her drunk ass hair stuck in the door and her friends cut it off…raggedy and nasty hair.

Monday night Sambo decided to hunt for things. He never came home. I called for him the next morning, Bonusmom ran around with a flashlight all night long. Nothing. I had a pit. Just freakin scared and sad. All day at work, I was sad clown. Then he decided to come the fuck back home. Not so much with the flooding is the city boy. he hasn’t so much as stepped one toe out the door since. Something bad is out there and he’s not much for finding out what it is again. thank goodness he came home. really could not take one more blow.

Tuesday night, all is well. I helped mow the frontier. And by mow, I mean with a push mower. And by push mower I mean no gas. No electric. just the propellers that swoosh swoosh flickity swoosh and chop the grass. Activity points for EVERYONE!!! damn. Frontier life is harsh. So we call it a night and come in. all the kids in but for Stormy Soprano, and he’s hunting and watching the four grey baby barn cats run around and chase the frogs that plagued us from the flood. Alll of a sudden i hear some nasty freaky kind of scatterwalling and I rush out. Nothing. I really don’t worry about him because he is after all, a bad ass and has survived spontanious combustion already this week. BonusMom sees him a few mintues later hauling it in to the door. After he comes in, I see some stuff on his backside…Firtch? (frontier word for whatever is on the floor or ground) no. It’s poo. Bleagh. We think he was taking a reprieve and something must have attacked or tried to have a date. whatever it was it literally scared the shit out of him. So we are running around wiping down, gagging, running for wet ones for him, bleach and soap for us. he’s mortified. the other kids get one whiff and haul it the other way. no good.

Sigh.

Frontier life is exhausting. I got home too late to finish the mowing. bonusmom is in nebraska for the week, home on sunday or monday. . . so it’s just me. me and the forty thousand frogs, 10 cats (counting the outside ones we feed) and one hungry armadillo.

somebody better be humming the theme to green acres. God knows I am.

Can it already be friday again? was it not just a day ago we gathered to sweat, pack, cry and whatever? man. what a difference a week makes. . .

Going to dinner tonight with my Aunt Janet. BonusMom’s sis who’s driving from Iowa for a hair cut and color tomorrow. we’re going to nonna’s in bricktown where I’ve never been so that’s exciting. Tomorrow is a full day at work so we’re just truckin right along.

Talked to my sis last night. Wonderboy starts kindergarten on Monday. All day kindergarten. Yesterday they met the teachers et.al. and Sis said he was holding Daddy’s hand pretty darn tight but by the end of the event he was playing with a table full of other boys building stuff with blocks and plotting to overthrow the bad guys. Apparently when it was just the kids and their teacher having a little chit chat, he announced that he was an artist so he was looking forward to the art classes.

REALLY? I can’t get his Type A personality to make a scratch on paper for fear that he “will mess it up” We’ll see. I’m looking forward to the Artist at work. hee hee hee. I’m going to Arkansas next weekend for hair cuts and color. He got on the phone last night and told me his hair was just getting too wong. we’re still working on the L’s and the R’s, but things are better since the tonsils and adenoids came out a few weeks ago.

just some fun stuff to read about other than my crap.

I realize that OU/TEXAS is Oct 6. BUT I believe we’re doing the first of many Fall Fest’s on the 5th, if anyone is interested and wants to mark the date. I believe I will have more than one this year!! I wish I had my camera and I’d upload some gorgeous pics of my outside for you all to see.

For dinner last night Mary and I shared a bottle of red wine and some puffed club crackers. Points schmoints. That did not suck at all.

happy friday folks.

went to weigh in yesterday…and since I cannot figure out how to do pics and pasting on this computer, we’ll just have to invision 1.2 lbs. I’m happy with that. Work was busy yesterday, I slept like crappola and that’s about all I have today. Back into working and driving and figuring it all out. I feel like I’m saying the same things over and over and over. oh well.

Dion, my favorite man in tights……please don’t feel funky. I don’t know why I didn’t call other than, I was just keeping my head above water. I wasn’t really talking to anyone….I will call you tonight. we’ve MUCH to discuss. I love you honey.

Huzzuah and Happy Thursday.

Back to work today. Back to the world and to reality. . . and you know what? I’m ready! I’m excited about getting back to work. I needed the mental health days, so I won’t feel badly about the small paycheck. All for a reason. Slept like a baby last night with my bed all gushed up and my fan blowing on me and my new pink t-shirt sheets. Very nice. I’m going to work on hooking up a misting system outside this week so we can actually go out there before 8:30 at night. ugh.

I got a bunch of stuff unloaded into storage, and have three things to run around in the city today. Stuff to him, stuff to goodwill, stuff to a friend. We packed a bunch of his stuff accidentally…his shoes, the checkbooks, all of his books. Those will just stay boxed up until I can get moved again and unpacked…he said he’s fine with that but would like the shoes back. Hahaha. I’m just glad I went through those boxes and found the checkbook stuff…..that could have been very bad.

I weigh in today….and I’m just going to bless it and let it go….lots of drinking and while there has been little eating, what has gone into my mouth has been less that superb. whatever. It begins again today.

I miss the familiarity of the house. The routine. But we’re developing new ones here and they are working just fine. I hope for happiness for him and his life. i still haven’t heard from his sister….that makes me really sad. Have texted with his daughter. she starts senior year of college sometime soon, so I offered to do her hair. I hope she and I can stay in touch. These are just the thoughts floating through my brain. random. fine.

Ok…time to wrangle the cats inside and begin my first day of getting ready here.

Huzzuah and happy Wednesday.

apparently i cant run the spell check or highlight anything within because my buttons are gone. a quirk that I need to figure out. Till then, just deal.

Life on the Frontier is moving along nicely. I’ve managed to get most of the inside stuff unpacked finally. I need a trip to the Wal-Mark for a big ass fan for my room and I’ll be set. I have stacks of things to take out to the barn, but sweet monkey loving it’s hot out there and I just cannot face the heat. 110 I believe. ugh. I have stuff to take to Goodwill…have been following my own words and done a bless it and let it go session. amazing how liberating that feels!! Just errands and whatnots.

The cats love it here. My three are just laid out asleep on whatever they land on. They have been discovering the outside, and just freak out at all the things there are to hunt and pillage. Mary’s three are still a little pissed off. Charles Ann has spent the majority of the day outside. She’d rather be in hell than in here with these stupid boys. KikiMama has tuned in to BonusMom and they have bonded. All seems to be going well.

I went out last night and met up with some friends at a different bar. It was better than great. We drank cold beer, talked about life and laughed. I got a text from one guy who just was so nice. “You can call me for anything. We are friends.” For a 37 year old man, that’s like an epic novel! Nice. I have to say though, I’m ready for a detox week or two. Not that I’ve really been twisting off or binging as one does in times like this…just a steady stream coming in and coming out of my body and I’m pretty sure I need a break.

Three weeks until NYC, and I’m ready for some Bougeouis Pig!!

I need to get my computer back from Joe and get settled with using it again. I need to take a load of stuff back to the house. I need to figure out the Sprint bill, and change addresses on all kinds of crap. This tedious stuff is starting to wear me out a little. . . but really if that’s the only thing I have to bitch about then life aint bad. eh?

I feel like I should be up and doing something else right now so I’ll sign off. Back to work tomorrow. Back to the routine. This will be good. Till then,

Huzzuah and happy whatever day this is.

The day is here. It’s gorgeous outside right now. . . at 6:45 a.m. The heat will arrive soon. 100 plus for the rest of our lives. It’s ok. The last few days, I have been blessed more times over than one person deserves. My friends who help me sleep and laugh and sing. My friends who just talk me off of the ledge and bring boxes and in the blink of an eye have all the books and stuff packed away. My friends who are just detail oriented tweakers who clean as I pack, pack as I clean, wrap my china in the most delicate of ways, bring big ass boxes and big ass supplies of bubble wrap. My friends who send strength from across the miles, wrapping their arms of support around me…My People. My Tribe. I’m blessed. Thank you all.

I’m over here early today. Woke up at 4:30, stayed in bed till 5:30, the coffee was brewed so I helped myself to a few cups and then jotted out of there. I stink. I am really really stinky. My bathroom isn’t packed, so I’m going to clean myself and take a load out to the new digs. The kitties moved yesterday. They were tweaking too, but when I talked to BonusMom last night the boys were settling in, and KikiMama was still in the carrier. Making a statement we believe. We’ll be ok.

I’m sad about this ending. I’m sad about this relationship gone. It creeps up on me in the weirdest of moments. After we have a conversation and he’s nice and genial and I hang up and burst into tears. Going through the cards we’ve given each other all these years. Thinking of the milestones we’ve shared with his children. Sr. prom, shopping for The Dress, graduation, buying her first diamonds, watching her fall in love with a great guy, traveling to her softball games. The son’s wedding. Losing his Dad, Aunt Ruthie…we’ve been through a lot. I sent an email to his sister, she has yet to respond. I’m not airing dirty laundry to his family. Not my scene. Just wanted her to know. Maybe we won’t talk anymore… I don’t know.

So this morning, I type with tears…tears of sadness and some regret, tears of anticipation and the unknown, tears of relief that we’ve finally closed the door, tears for family that is no longer, tears of excitement for a new beginning. . . tears that I only got about 4 hours of sleep….sigh. But mostly just tears. So much emotion bubbling to the brim, after being on lock down for so long, it’s just there gurgling to get out. So be it.

I only have the bathroom, some stuff in here in the computer room, and part of the garage to get organized. The movers come at noon. I’ll be online at my new place, so while there may be a downtime here, it won’t be too long.

This is what I look like leaving…….

Ok. I have a plan. Boy do I have a plan. The village that it takes will help pack tomorrow, and Friday nights. I will call the movers tomorrow and schedule them for Saturday around noonish. They will come, load all the crap, load the furniture and the piano and haul it out to the Frontier. Done. Bada Bing. This is making me happy. I feel good.

One of my guy friends from the bar came in to get his hair cut today, and I know it KILLS him to pay 23 bucks for a haircut, so that made me feel good. When he left, though, I had a huge pity party for myself. I am pissed that my bar, my friends are out of reach right now. I realize not forever but damnit. Breathe in, breathe out.

I got over it.

The greatest news of today came from WW weigh in. Didn’t go last week on account of I was breaking up with the fuckwit that was in my house. Then emotional eating and drinking like it was 1999….so very nervous.

I lost 1.6 pounds! Huzzuah. When googling for an image this is what I came up with. A little frog buddah tochocke (cannot spell that word) thingy. Whatever. I lost it.

Che came over tonight, brought Pei Wei for dinner and we made a plan of attack. AND bless her little heart I got a teensey weensey Zanax to sleep on. So this is me signing off, and hitting the sack. I’m actually going to sleep tonight. I hope.

Huzzuah.

I think I’m getting out sooner than next Sunday. More like Monday or Tuesday of the coming week. Send good packing vibes.