I’m thankful for many things today.

I’m thankful that I don’t go in until 10, so I got to sleep a little extra. We didn’t leave till 10:30 last night. But it was a solid, fun night off book. I’m in really good shape. My scene partner is getting there. I had to lay out something, and feel pretty good about the way I phrased it. He is NEVER serious. Clearly by the amount of time he’s spent with the script…but he will break character, and cross eyes and just act stupid in the middle of a scene when he’s struggling for lines. Defense mechanism? perhaps. but it throws his concentration off and we all fall off the wagon and it’s a vicious circle. I made the claim last night that I personally couldn’t work that way. That it was harder for ME to retain lines when we’re all grab assing around and could we all just get serious about it while we’re still doing line work. I think he got it.

I’m thankful for some more appointments on my book today. Bring it on. Tomorrow is a full day as well. Putting the tips in the bank bit by bit.

I’m thankful for your beautiful comments. You do more than Jerry Maguire me. You lift me and carry me.

I’m thankful for the snow melt and a titch of sunshine today. Yes. Yes more snow on Monday…but I’ll take today. I’ll TAKE IT.

I’m thankful for Superbowl Sunday. It’s going to be a great evening with friends. GO COLTS.

Happy Friday ya’ll.

I had a client yesterday, a regular who is usually very quiet and reserved. She’s beautiful and talented and one of those women who really has her stuff together…her relationship, her longterm realtionship has hit a rough spot, and because it’s my job, and I offer myself freely in this capacity, I listen. Her man, at one time in his life was studying for the priesthood. The kind with no wife and kids. Just him and Big J along for the ride. He left, having so many other desires for his life such as a wife and kids. Understandable. He has recently confessed that he feels like perhaps he’s being called back. To the church. Where she isn’t welcome. In that way.

And I’m not saying this here as a nanny nanny boo boo, look at her how jacked up she is. Not at all. I’m stunned because prayer IS my go to reaction. I pray daily. Constantly. Sometimes I catch myself praying subconciously. But what do you do…if your go to guy…is the other woman?

It just really made me think about relationships. They are hard. They are. Once you finally meet someone they hold some trials!  But mostly? I really come to believe that they are 90% LUCK. Meeting that person, just the MEETING of them..Do you believe in luck? Do you believe in soul mates? THE ONE? or The Many? This internet dating is at the very best entertaining. It is. At the very worst, it can be a little discouraging. The same faces. The same sites. All of them either uninteresting, or uninterestED.  However! HA HA HA!!! My head is up. It’s an adventure. I am “talking” to two new guys…and so far they are interesting! Me Likey!  One guy has been a snot and I was amazed at how it pissed me off in a flash…and then I remembered how much power the DELETE key holds! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Suckit dude.

I have felt very stressed surprisingly calm about the lack of money this week. I’ve got some good appointments on my book today, I’ve snagged some NEW clients that I think will be regulars. If I can hold on until wedding season…crossing fingers…I’m so thankful for a director who has worked around my schedule for rehearsals. I haven’t had to leave work early ONCE yet. and won’t until next week…so that’s a blessing.

Kids…I needs me some SUNSHINE!!! It’s raining/snowing here again. We’re above freezing. So that’s good, but we’ve got another storm coming through this weekend. Fraggle ROCK! I’m sick of it. I need some sun. I need some pretty pretty blue sky. I need a good mental health day!!!

or more coffee.

Here’s today’s NFTU, and as usual it’s pretty awesome!

First, Misti, completely forget about who, how, and when. Then, decide only upon what you want, the end result, with as much clarity as possible. I’ll shuffle the deck, the magic show will begin, and jokers won’t be all that are wild.

Gosh, you’re so much fun to watch when you read these things.

Deal,
The Universe

A few things of boo before the hurrah!

Being closed the last two and a half days of the pay period…turns out…gives you a paycheck that won’t cover the mortgage. I have it covered…but this month we’re paying bills one by one. And possibly calling some to say, “please let me be a little late” Sigh. Oh this Life thing…man. What a ride, eh?

Rehearsals are…better. I’ve worked my ass off and feel about 89-90% offbook on act one. And when I’m working lines with the girls at work? I am SOLID!! I am SHE-RA!!! HEAR ME ROAR!!! then I get to rehearsals and I’m with my partner and it’s stop. go. stutter. stop. sputter. go. go go go go SCREEEETCH. flop. sigh. fuck.

frustration reigns.

In the dating pool…still trolling. There are a few new ones that I’m talking to…we’ll see. My favorite one gave me a fabulous email. Note the email address at the end of the letter. . . FIRST let’s read todays NFTU:

Every day, Misti, someone new falls in love with you.

Sometimes many more.

You can’t deny it,
The Universe

and now…this.

Hello Gorgeous,
Feb. 2, 2010 – 4:05pm

Hello Gorgeous,

How are you doing this beautiful evening???
I think i must say you look so adorable ,i never thought there were still beautiful women like you in this world anymore, believe it or not you are fascinating plus you have a nice profile and i would really like to talk to you and get to know you better perhaps there might be sparks between us or probably have something in common, if you think it’s a good idea and you are interested and you just wanna give it a try.I’m always available on this e-mail address ineedwomanformarriage@yahoo.com

J.

’nuff said.

Woo Hoooo!!! Back in the saddle again! Up and at ’em, coffee is brewing, I’m READY for socialization and working and making money today! I am going to hit the gym here in a bit…Let’s get back on this horse! The schools are all still out today, but we ARE above freezing…barely…but hopefully the melting will begin. We are getting more weather this weekend. Gross.

I’ve decided that Old Man WInter can suck it.

I’m ready for spring. And pretty flowers. And budding trees. And planting my garden. I talked to Che, she’s fired up about doing a big garden out at the Farmhouse, with Gert’s help. Sounds lovely. I think we’re all interested in doing something along those lines…

Rehearsal was better last night. I discovered how to record on my phone, so we recorded a few scenes, which I will listen to while on the treadmill today. We’ll get there…thanks for the support though! You’re awesome!

ok kids. I don’t have a whole lot to report. Hope your Tuesday is fabulous.

Well, I’ll tell you one thing. I learned a great deal about myself, and old habits and how I feel. For some crazy ass reason, I decided to jump head first off the wagon I’ve been happily riding. Everything I did on Friday/Saturday…I have not done all month or longer. I drank too much. I smoked ciggarettes. I ate fast food for the hangover. I ate meat. I drank a real coke.

and I felt horrible. so horrible that I had to cancel plans that I made with Chris and Cindy. So horrible that after rehearsals yesterday I still felt just drained and had to forgo a birthday party of my friend.

Sigh.

So. Today. Today I’m better. I have been detoxing with lots of water and good nutritious foodstuffs. I have decided that I dislike greatly the Morningstar maple breakfast sausage. Im not saying that I’m never eating meat again. I’m not saying that at all. My family always buys and shares with me their fresh stuffs…which sounds great right now. I was just really really amazed at how badly eating like that took me out at the knees.

and I used to eat that way EVERY SINGLE DAY.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I would have some fast food or grab something fast or whatever. Gross. and I feel guilt. not because I ate meat. but for what I did to my body, and how it made me feel.

I feel stressed about lines and the play. We open in 18 days and seriously should be way more advanced in rehersals than we are…and the director isn’t too worried but I am. SO…I’m getting off here and turning off the tv and getting my script. Tonight we’re meeting early for extra line rehearsals and I’m hoping beyond hope that I can walk in solid. Really really solid. and in general I am but my scene partner isn’t which tends to throw me way off…gah. It’s a vicious circle of gloom and doom.

Send me some light over here, folks.

Ohhh the screen names.

SeniorEskimo or Bigsoftlips622…it’s really a shame we don’t live in the same state. Because seriously. I’m running on a deficit with lips and eskimos!!! There was a guy today who, I swear to GOD, had a profile picture circa the 80’s. It was taken in a grocery store where the chips were 1.07 and there was a cassette carrying case on the shelf for sale. He’s all, “well people tell me I look 30!” and I’m all like “dude. truth in advertising???” and he’s all like “but the lady at home depot didn’t believe me when I told her I was 52.” and I’m all like “dude. go away”

I do have a favorite. I do. And on this snowy, icy day, before I get the jitters from too much coffee and too many chocolate chip cookies (WHY DID I BAKE THOSE THINGS?) I want to share this with you and then I’m getting up and going to finish a project or two then work on lines.

This is from Pradip.

He’s my Calcutta Boyfriend.

He’s got a real grasp of the language, dontcha think? Awwww yeah.

I am sorry for the inconvenience mail to you.

How are you doing there ? This is Pradip from India.

I have read your profile in the site, It is very interesting and realism, its very much impressed me. Friend if you have a little time to visit my profile it would pleasure to me. And a sort note from you would be nice.

As we are a mature person and seriously searching our soul mate for our 2nd half. We are both thirsty for few drop love, peace and happiness . Is not it ?

I do not believe this personal match % system here.I believe complete trust,understanding, commitment, honesty and faith and believe in each other makes a true ever lasting relation and it is great chemistry in conjugal life . I believe in monogamy system. Hello, I have never been married persona and 43yrs. old, Business man, Height 5’8″, Weight 58kg.

I have feel to seen your picture in the site that you are a sober personality,family oriented,pleasant looking . I am feeling loneliness and need a woman in my life and who will take care me.I am need a woman not only for sex, need as a friend as my guardian and as one part of my soul.It does not matter for me that we come from different countries, different religion,different color/type, Height and speak different languages. Need only peaceful and happiness life. Built a new home, new life, new family. Where two souls live together with happy life and love each other, take care of each other until to death. We Indian are believe wife is half part of husband soul.And we respect the woman as there are motherhood nature. Our mythology said Women are the supreme power in the Earth.

I have not any intention to annoy or play game with any body and i do not like to play game with me also.

If you would like to acquaintance with me as a Indian Person then you can mail me MORE ABOUT YOU. I am waiting for your reply.

T H A N K Y O U
Take care
Pradip
India

So here’s todays NFTU:

Would you ever take a journey, Misti, if you knew ahead of time that you’d become hopelessly lost, have your heart broken into pieces, and sometimes wish you’d never been born?

Now, how about if you knew ahead of time that on that very same journey you’d also find yourself, fall passionately in love, and live happily ever after?

Yeah, I know, you made the same choice a long, long time ago.

Que bueno,
The Universe

Date number 2 was…sigh. Well, I think it was my doing. I think I built this up over the last week…with the chatting online and the texting…I wanted him to be my Vegan in NYC.

Ok. Let me back up.

I’m not disappointed. He is delightful. and Just Fine in the looks department. and what a trooper…he’d undergone an emergency root canal not two to three hours previous…

maybe that accounted for the lisp.

I had a great time, but it was like sitting there eating pizza with a friend. A really good friend who likes you maybe more than you like them because there was ZERO instant chemistry. I didn’t want to touch or kiss him. My stomach didn’t flip flop.

And I’m grown up enough to know that most of that is bullshit and fades anyway. . . so I’m not writing this off. By any means. I totally forsee us going out again. . . we have too much in common that we like to do to let that happen. But when we chatted after the date on instant message…he said he wanted to kiss me goodnight. and because I’m always honest, I said well. Unless your last name was Clooney, that probably was never going to happen anyway. I told him that I was using this online dating to meet new people, try new things and that I did that last night. That I met someone really great who I was willing to spend time with and get to know…

so…

It wasnt a BAD date by ANY MEANS. He didn’t order for me. He wasn’t drunk. He didn’t ask me why don’t I have babies. It wasn’t his birthday. He didn’t have a previous brain injury or stick his tongue down my throat and around my spleen…I mean it was a stellar date compared to the ones I had a few years ago! I will see him again…I’m not writing this off completly. I just KNOW….that I didn’t feel anything attraction like…but that’s ok too.

I’ve got high hopes people. me and that rubber tree plant? We’re going places.

***OKLAHOMA WEATHER REPORT***

right now…NOW they’re forcasting 2-5 inches of snow and a quarter to and inch and a quarter of ice. This starting around 9am. I’ve already spread the ice melt onto my front steps…and have zero problems loading up the livestock and heading to the Frontier if I lose power. will keep this thing powered up and online as much as possible. We’re sitting at 30 degrees, and if we can hover, and stay above 29 we’ll just be in a shitty ice storm. if we hit below 29 we’re in for some freezing hell.

finally I leave you with my NFTU…

If you knew how much you have in common with every single person now living in time and space Misti – in terms of your greatest hopes and dreams, and your deepest fears and worries – you’d wonder how I manage to tell you all apart.

And from this day forward you’d likely think of every single one of them as “dearest,” just as I do.

Yeah, like twins, to the power of 7 billion. But not to worry, dearest Misti, I can always tell it’s you by your saunter.

Tallyho,
The Universe

Well, we can cross “have a date with a man” off of my Things To Do list!!!

SUCCESS.

I found, that even though I wasn’t hopeful or had any expectations for this date at all, that I got really really nervous. And walking into the restaraunt looking around for him…I’d seen a picture and well…the real life boy looked similar, but not exactly the same. He looked very nice. He has a great smile. He’s short. My height or perhaps an inch or so shorter. I knew that going in and wore flats on purpose. So ok.

We got our table, and amidst a lot of nervous laughter and ordering of an appetiser we got thru a few precursory questions and he just bursts out with, “you’re NICE”

“yes. I am nice. Thank you.”

He didn’t ever blink. At one point I thought “could he be BLIND and I not know it???” He also thought that the Vikings actually threw their playoff game. and he read me an Obama joke from his phone…. SOoooooo…he’s a little spazzy. We got to talking about the gym and turns out he’s a muscle guy who guzzles all kinds of “helping products”  or as Ringo calls it, a Mark Maguire toddie!!! HA. So, we did laugh. There really wasn’t a connection, like WOOF. I must be with this man. But hey, he was kind. And we laughed. And so I met someone new! We did exchange phone numbers and because I’m in rehearsals my time is so limited. We’ll work something out..or not. Whatever.

Tonight’s date is at 8:15 and I’m very excited for this one. He and I have been talking/texting for about a week and we have a lot in common. I’m glad we’re meeting before the Great Storm of ’10 arrives tomorrow….

You guys, I’m freaking the fuck right out about this storm. I”m worried about trees falling on my house. I’m worried about losing power. I’m worried about my pipes freezing and bursting. Yesterday I went and bought everything but a new house at Walmarks, got stocked up on gas in the car, foodstuffs, cat provisions. I’ve still got icemelt from Christmas, but feel the need for more, and am going to hit the liquor store. A few bottles of wine may help calm the nerves…

The news is predicting ice like in 07. I lived on the Frontier in 07. With a fireplace. and a generator. and my Bonusmom to keep my spazzy butt calm. Being in my own home brings a whole other handful of the nervous…But we’ll figure it out. If I lose power, I’ll gather the livestock and head out to the Frontier.

Ok kids…I’ve forgone the gym this morning in favor of the hunting and gathering. Have a great day! Here’s todays NFTU:

Do you know what we used to call you before you leapt into the jungles of time and space, Misti?

“Gutsy.”

Do you know what we call you now?

“An example.”

Do you know what we’ll call you when you return?

“Teacher.”

Tallyho,
The Universe

Tonight, is my first date of the year.

We’re going to a nice little restaraunt around 7pm tonight. Pleanty of people know exactly where I will be. I’ve given my computer password to my bff’s in case they need to hack into the machine for any reason. I’m meeting him, he’s not picking me up. I think the bases are covered.

I’ve no idea what I’m wearing, something comfortable and casual. I don’t have any expectations from tonight. I already know that this guy and I come from different mindsets, however, it’s nice to go and to meet new people.

Tomorrow night, however, I’m meeting another guy that I’ve been talking to for awhile. We’ve had several Instant Message “dates”, we watched the Vikings/Saints game,  we talked practically all day long yesterday, and then again when I got home from rehearsal. Talked waaaaaay passed my bedtime. He and I are reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally good on paper. Lot’s in common. So we’ll see if that translates.

It’s interesting, folks! I’ll keep ya posted

Meanwhile, I just got home from the gym, did about 3 miles on the t-mill, and need to get my food ready for the day. I will leave you with my Note From The Universe…it was a gem!

Misti, the trick is learning to maintain an unwavering focus upon your desired end result, your completed dream, the “finish line,” without insisting upon, or even contemplating, its means of attainment, no matter how logical, obvious, or tempting it may seem.

Tallyho,
The Universe