I’m mush.
Here’s what I need to do.

keep in mind it’s already noon thirty

Laundry. I’ve had clean clothes on my love seat for three weeks. it sucks.
spare room is wrecked.
clean bedroom thoroughly, sheets to floors to closet.
dyson the carpets.
grocery store.
drive to batshitcrazytown and hit up the credit union for a consolidation loan.
deposit money in the bank for reunion and my savings…
call about insulation getting done this week or next.
find something to eat for lunch*
wash the red dirt mud off of my car

What I want to do is this:
*lunch. immediatly if not sooner.
couch and sports night until I have to nap.

I worked a wedding yesterday then spent time with LT on her new patio which, is three streets away from me. We broke out their chiminea and I brought firewood and it was blissful. all in all yesterday was not bad. it was not stressful. it was fine. but it was full of things NOT pertaining to said to do list…

I’m needing some time.
Seriously folks, I’m needing some time. . .and I’ve just about decided to maybe only do groceries, banking and bootcamp. everything else will be there tomorrow….

now, about that lunch…

I shot my final sketch for the TV pilot tonight.

I was a titch frazzled because I THOUGHT I’d blocked my book out early today, alas I did not. We were supposed to start the shoot at four. I got there around 6:30 ish…but I made it just in time for my line. . . in fact we switched around the lines and I got the funniest part (in my opinion) and added some shtick with an ice cream bar! heh! Cannot wait to see this edited together on the 15th of October. We’re having a live event in Bricktown showing the sketches interspersed with some live comedy.

We had a wrap party on campus corner and it was fun and it was good and I sat at this table and thought…two years ago I had no idea any of these people even existed. Thanks be to the Redhead.

On the way home, I was thinking about all of this, and really just silently rejoicing life and it’s quirks and snickers when I just kind of manoeuvred in the drivers seat. Lil gassy, if you will pardon me…and what the hell?

totally peed my pants.

are you kidding me?

apparently, instead of whoo-ha muscles…I have a Slinky.

Here’s a little story about how Life works.

Within all of the crazy, (and in all fairness it’s not true crazy, but the loss of the computer and the planning and finagling of the new computer via my Fort Worth Angel, the getting and starting up of the new computer via my OKC Guru…kind of a lot) So yesterday I started my day out by de-funking a friend. It was needed. It was necessary. It almost never ever in the history of ever happens, so…yeah. it was needed.

Then the funk was mine. and I started to listen to the voices.

it’s September…you won’t make any money.
the wedding season has slowed down…you won’t get anymore shifts.
your money will dry up and you will be in serious trouble.
what were you thinking.
and ps you’re fat and George Clooney hates your guts.

Fucking voices.

However, this voice was louder yesterday.

LOOK AT HOW GLORIOUS LIFE IS? YOU HAVE A GREAT FAMILY THAT LOVES EACH OTHER IN SPITE OF ALL THE FRACTURES IN THE TREE! YOU HAVE ANOTHER FAMILY COMPRISED OF FRIENDS THAT ARE TRUE ANGELS IN YOUR LIFE! YOU HAVE WALKED 3 MILES PLUS SEVERAL TIMES THIS WEEK! YOU HAVE A NEW COMPUTER! YOU HAVE A JOB AND A HOUSE AND A CAR THAT ARE ALL DEPENDABLE AND STABLE AND COMFORTING! YOU ARE SMART ABOUT YOUR MONEY, SMARTER THAN YOU’VE EVER BEEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO IT WILL WORK OUT! AND GEORGE CLOONEY HAS A NEW MOVIE COMING IN NOVEMBER AND HE DOES LOVE YOU!!!

So, I shook it off, ran some errands, found a nice hot pink purse at le target, went to work and found a check in my cubby. we get 100 bucks for referring students to our school. . . and one night at some random bar north of batshitcrazytown, I talked to the bartender about doing just that. apparently, she did. I logged onto my Facebook and had a message from a high school friend asking if I wanted to pick up a wedding shift in two weeks, easy money. beer, wine and ‘ritas.

Hell yes I do!

I had great clients all day long, great conversations, helping and laughing each one. Remember the Pilot? he came in yesterday. Just funny, that one. He gave me a grand compliment, saying “I remember the first time I came in here…Man. You have changed SO MUCH! for the better! You’re not even the same person, Zelda!”

no. no I’m not. and thanks for noticing.

I was only going to come home last night, come home and delve into the spare bedroom that looks like a missile testing site…but Pseudo Sister 1 said as I was leaving, “wanna come sit on the patio at chelino’s and have a cold beer while we watch my kids throw chips around?”

hell yes I do.

During the night, I took another phone call…something has come up unexpectedly and do I want to pick up a bartending shift tomorrow, Sunday for a few hours in the afternoon? Easy breezy. All cash bar, specific beers only. easy money.

hell yes I do.

Home early, sated and happy, I crawled into bed and thought, man oh man…I love life.

Hell yes I do.

I’m typing you from my fabulous shiny gorgeous delicious FAST new machine. Pretty pretty girl. By the grace of my dear and fabulous friend, I was able to get my new MacBook Pro and an external hard drive and a wireless router tonight. By the grace of my Guru I (he) got stuff set up, hooked up, loaded up, fired up and here I am. at 11:22 in the p.m. sitting on my couch, wirelessly typing away to you.

I am so blessed. I am soo soo sooooo blessed.

The payments will be paid monthly and finished in 18 months or less.

The brand new operating system comes out tomorrow, which I will get my update and have it installed before I know what I was missing out on.

Guru aka Numskullery set me up on Twitter tonight, too! I am CONNECTED I tell ya! We were discussing the machine with glee and giddy and I realized that really…really…I’ve never had a machine capable of DOING. He asked me what I really wanted to use this for, what I wanted to do with it and my response was EVERYTHING. yes. I’ve had my first Mac, gifted from Bonusmom, and it was fabulous and sweet and got me through. So totally not dissing that gift. It helped me learn about the Mac itself, taught me lots, and I fell in love. It was tired and a wee on the vintage side, so some things were just not an option.

Everything is now an option.

In other news, I officially have enough moolah to get the insulation blown into the house. I’m going to wait until after my next wedding, just to have a lil cushing in the account. This makes me feel pretty danged good. I’m not on the schedule to work again for awhile…so hopefully there will be a few more events here and there to soften the blow that is September. I’m convinced that things will be fine and dandy.

In dog news, I looked at pound puppies online today again. I’ve about convinced myself to hold off a bit longer. Will keep you posted on that. I’m sure it’s in my future…

I need to get some sleep. (since Numskullery and I had coffee during our jam session, that is probably just wishful thinking) I’m walking in the morning, and have to run by the battery store to pick up my specially ordered ancient battery for my garage door opener. Oh man. Life is starting to just work on every single angle. I’m also running by Le Target to find a special GUSHY carrying case for my new machine. It’s show and tell tomorrow at work! heh heh heh.

man. I cannot believe I got this.

thank you.
a million times over,
thank you.

Huzzuah and Halakaleem and I love George Clooney and I love this machine.

We all know that I treasure friendships. With my wholest of hearts. I hope, pray, that I am half the friend to you that you are to me…

We had a torrential storm last night. Crazy ass rain. Horrifying thunder and lightening. Knocked my power out a few times. Thought I’d lost tv, but it eventually came back…crazy. Luckily I had the Crackberry phone with which to communicate with Numskullery, a.k.a. my new Guru. and with Rog who lives down south in Ft.Worth…

We’ve hatched out a purchase plan, and exactly WHAT to purchase to get me computerized and up and running successfully again. I’m super excited. It’s just amazing the help that these two have poured out onto my head…such blessings.

In other news, Ted Kennedy. sad sad sad, yet with that horrible cancer I hope now he finally has peace. I wonder who will replace him…and whatever side of the fence you sit politically you can’t deny the fact that he was the last connection to such a historical family, and worked so hard for so many years…sad sad sad.

Dominic Dunne, as well. The Cancer. I feel like I knew who he was BEFORE the OJ trial (first one) but that’s where he really really came into focus for the general public…I read his column in Vanity Fair, he was a good writer. Sad sad sad.

I almost talked myself into a pound puppy yesterday. Seriously. I think I talked myself out of getting it as soon…but I think another member of the circus is in our future…heh heh heh, I type that as the two black men are chasing each other and one almost ran right into the door jam. Ahhhh, I might have been tipsy lo those many years ago when I named this space, but it’s still fitting.

Ok kids..will keep you posted on the computer situation…cross fingers!

and to Numskullery and Rog…

MUAH!!!

http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9/29474209001?isVid=1&publisherID=63128

Found the car title. after I’d even called Ex-Him and had him look in his files. Yeah, there was ooooooooone box in my garage full of just stuff. one box I’d been stepping over for over a year now. I cleaned after I mowed and weedeated tonight..just had a sinking feeling.

Oh well. Now I have a duplicate. and I have filed every little paper I need to in my file cabinet and feel pretty confident that I know where stuff is. That’s a nice feeling.

SO. Will just have a look at my schedule this week. If I have slow time I may block out and drive to the credit union and try to get this party started.

but damn. wouldn’t it just figure?

This machine is working some. I can get online via my crackberry too, so that’s keeping me sane! Makes me realize just how much I do, other than blogging and networking, on the computer…crazy that.

So. cross your fingers and whatever else you’d like to, hopefully within a few weeks or so I can type you from my shiny new Mac!

somehow thru the wonky computer my netflix cue didn’t get updated. Instead of season one disc one of MadMen that was due tonight, I was alerted that Season two disc two of Slings and Aarows will arrive tomorrow, and the postman didn’t pick up my last Dexter disc today…harumph. I havent even started S&A, so this particular disc will not help me one iota. And…AND AND AND Netflix has also alerted me that S1D1 of Madmet will be a quote Long Wait unquote. flop. I’m rewatching Sports Night instead. I hope I get that by the weekend…and get back on track. I had it down to a science…damnit.

I’m going to get more water and grill myself a burger. Happy night, ya’ll.

fighting. fighting the machine, fighting the man, fighting the voices…and still things are good. for all of my plans that I’ve made since posting 900, I’ve unmade and remade even more.

cliffs notes.

Decided to buy the Macbook. Got approved to finance it. but only for 480.00. . . what the fuck costs that at the Apple store? nuthin. that’s what. So new plan. Reinvent. Imagine. Brainstorm.

Turns out, I’ve been harboring a wish for a consolidation loan to pay off the bit of credit card debt that I have. I decided to try for that, plus a little extra for my new machine.

Turns out, I dont have the title to my car for which to use so all of the banking stuff is on hold till I get the duplicate copy that I filed for this afternoon.

Turns out, my need for organization is a strong one and all of this let me get somewhat organized today. Files and folders and stuff.

I did get up and walk an hour this morning. I’m not doing bootcamp because tonigt at comedy is a “farewell to derek and dan” kind of thing and I need/want to be there.

I met my new neighbors. Husband and wife and two kids. I can hear them out there in the back playing now.

The slow time is upon us at work so that brings a little strain and fear, but hoping to push through and make it to the finish. My reunion is also upon us. Right now, we barely have enough money to rent the space for Saturday night. I’m tired of worrying about it. We’ll just do what we can do. NO one has asked for deposits, so while that may suck for them if we cancel, we’re not out any money.

I’m taking myself to the couch. Going to rewatch True Blood. OH I finished season three of Dexter. SLURP. I’m starting Mad Men next.

while this day wasn’t what I thought it’d be, it was just fine. Things will all work out and be fine…I’m just going to breathe through it all.

happy monday. I’ll see ya when I see ya…

HAPPY 900TH POST FLYING CIRCUS READERS!!!

Nine Hundred Posts. Man oh man, what a long strange curvy windy nutbaggie trip this has been, eh? I meant for it to happen earlier, but as you know my machine has been down on it’s luck. I’ve finally managed some time on Firefox, that is uninterrupted and so far not frozen up…

Let me pose this conundrum to you and maybe some wisdom of yours will trickle back to me.

This machine is old. Gert and I bought it new when we had the bookshop…I’ve been doing hair for almost four years, five counting school, and I think it was new to us about three years before that, so we can safely say it’s had a long, full life.

Do I spend any kind of money resurrecting it? I feel odd putting money into old technology. Do I just have the hard drive wiped clean and just use it for bits of blogging and facebooking? I bank online. Totally. and canna from this machine as it is now, what with the illness.

Or do I invest in new technology. There are ways. I can make payments…which I’d probably do as the chunk of cash I’ve got saved is going to buy more fresh insulation for mi casa in a few months. IF I do this…do I just get anything which will do for now, find myself a good Dell deal, or something on sale at the walmark or bestbuy…or do I just suck it up and buy what I WANT IN MY HEART…a macbook. and just pay it off when I get tax money…?

NOW. Before I do anything let me tell you about this little opportunity that fell into my lap yesterday. My client, actually lives right across the street and one house to the left of me. we got to talking about this conundrum and she mentioned that she has a macbook that she got for school…like it was included in her fees or something…and she hates it. (BLASPHEME) and wants to get rid of it. I said, please. Please let me have a shot at that first. I may not be able to give you what it’s going for on Ebay in CASH, but I can barter haircuts for days…she said she’s going to look into it and talk with her husband and crossing all my fingers and toes and eyeballs….

cross yours too. Now. Do it now. Power of the 900th post for the greater good, dangit!

I dreamt of computers all night. . . desktop or laptop…bla ba de bla ba de blah.

I AM saving enough to do some insulation before winter comes. This makes me happy. Saving tips and bartending payments and getting estimates today and next week. Gert’s Bubba nodded me in the right direction and I think I can get some for right about .60 per square foot…that’s fine and dandy.

I have another wedding to bartend tonight. Hopefully I’ll make good tips. Last weekend I made fifteen bucks. Meh…it was fifteen more than I had!

Happy Friday Ya’ll!
From all of us here at the Circus, myself, Kikimama, LBSambo, Stormy Soprano and George…we say Thanks for reading. Thanks for caring. Thanks for being This Tall and riding this ride!!!

My computer got sick several days ago. I got a virus. Some stinky bad nasty adware. It took the minds the likes of the G8 Summit from here to Taiwan to clean it up. So far…so good. I still can’t do any online banking on it…and that’s freaking me out. I’m so used to online banking…fraggle rock.

anyways, Joe and DouginTawiwan both worked themselves into the night last night to clean it up. I was on the phone with the future for about an hour working on stuff, then instant messaging with him, then Joe got here and instant messaged back and forth. I made dinner to pay for his time.

It was nice to have some time with him, with Joe. He’s been super busy this summer so actual calm, facetime has been rare. He’s headed to Tulsa this week to work on the new installment of Biggest Loser, production stuff. Paying production stuff. Atta Boy for him.

I have been a slug and a half. NO walking at all for me this week. Sunday was spent filming the tv pilot. 7-8 hours of filming. exhausted. so Monday, I slept in, and then decided to forgo bootcamp in lieu of laundry, and mowing and errands and grocery and all of that, which I did until the dark of night. Just had to get stuff done before the week. It rained yesterday morning. I set my alarm for pm instead of am this morning.
GROSS!!!!! I’ve gotta get back. Tonight is bootcamp. I’ve blocked out. I can think of a gillion things I wanna do instead of drive to Batshitcrazytown and do that but I need to…I will. Then will come home and watch some more of Season Three DEXTER!!!!!

I was methodical with my Netflix in order to get it on the day it came out on dvd…and it worked! watched the first ep last night!

I have another wedding to bartend friday night, I’m excited about that. Last weekend, it was a dud bar wedding. I made 15.15 in tips~ heh heh heh. still. still made my bartending fee and that was more than I had when I walked in. so a successful night indeed.

ok. more coffee. getting ready for the working. i’ll be back barring any unforseen nasty with the machine!