HOLY SHIT I DID TWO PERMS TODAY. TWO. One. Two. As in more than one. PERMS.
Fuckityfuckingfuckadoodledooo.
I’m worn out.
The first girl was annoying. Straight, thick, Asian hair. She was wearing her cranky pants as well as some wiggle worms. She moved around so much she just was soaked by the time it was all over with…we were both at the end of our ropes by the time it was done. Our relationship was OVER! Breaking up!! The perm looked wicked awesome though.
Then some sitting time watching Bravo’s top 100 funniest movies, ooohing and ahhhhing then ANOTHER one.
My fingers stink. My feet hurt. And by the way, I went out for beers last night and wound up accidently giving my damned phone number to a guy named Buster who texted me tonight with this gem: “Are you still full of sugar and lust?”
no.
no I am not.
Nor do I remember full of either of them last night.
I’m destined to be single. Does it cost a lot, would you say, to purchase sex?
Misti Ridiculous 
“Accidentally” gave him your phone number? I can’t even come up with a Sorkin-like joke for that one. Did you slip? Was there a banana peel involved?
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yes…it was the case of the banana peel combined with diarrea of the mouth and constipation of the brain. FLOP.
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Oh, it is a story that will go down in history…and honey, we can get you some sex for free, Im sure Buster is available!
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