Out There

So yeah, the go between stuff is done. I think the guys have taken it upon themselves to do this and were bouncing ideas, thoughts, and venting sessions off of me. So be it. They are good guys. It all shakes out in the end.

Slow frakkin day today at work. I mean, SO SLOW. and it was GORGEOUS outside to boot. The Arts Fest is going on, but I have to say I prolly won’t make it down there. I’m cash poor this week, so need to save save save my pennies. Besides, I’m just kinda wanting to be at home. Getting things organzied, projects to do and finish, the yard to deal with. Just kinda wanting to do that.

It seems as if everywhere I turn this week I’m getting the “don’t worry he’s out there” thing. or the “are you really out there” thing. or the “you just have to quit looking and he’ll show up” thing. Clients, almost every one of them the last few weeks. I guess I need to check my horoscope or some such. And everyone here, as well. And it’s good, and I love the support.

here’s the deal. I know all of this. I get it loud and clear and it’s really easy to say things like that when one has already found what they weren’t looking for. But I’m good. I’m really really good with life right now. Still social as ever. Finally getting caught up on things at my home that I’ve wanted. Reconnected with friends and reconnected with even older acquaintences that live in the future. I’m still really kind of bandaging up from the rejection that happened last month. That kind of stuff takes awhile before it scabs over. But the conversations I’m having via email with people, and being fun and laughing…all help. I’m as “out there” as I can possibly be without laying buck naked in the middle of Broadway Extension. As much as I can possibly be. I am as hopefull as I can possibly be. And the thing is…if there ISN’T a He around the corner?

I’m still valid.

and I still will hate folding laundry. and I still will overspend on weekends because I want everyone to have a good time. and I still will trip over the cats in the morning because I must have coffee. and I still will miss my tribe, scattered from one coast to the next because I want everyone to live in the same zip code. and I will still pine for what I can’t have i.e. Jennifer Anniston’s hair. Kate Winslet’s body. George Clooney.

so finding or not finding SuperDude isn’t going to alter my being all that much. and I’m ok with that.