I’ll say it again.
If nothing changes…nothing changes.
It’s not an original. It was printed in some of my WW books and info. But it’s stuck with me this week.
I have a bunch of stuff rumbling in my head, about the eating program, and life in general. About money and how I only have one appointment today. About how yesterday I found myself actually CAUGHT inside the net of anxiety and funk, and while I never (almost never) do those passive aggressive FB posts, I did one and got some amazing support. I have a lot jumbling around in my head about books I’ve read and am about to start reading, about movies that I’ve seen or will see soon. About old friends and old memories…new friends and new ones. About more things I need to do here at home and about this mothertrucking tree that’s still NOT apart and fitting inside the box.
I have a lot of things rattling around about those topics…but this morning, I just want to say that one thing that hasn’t changed, that has stayed consistent and strong, is my love for you, dear reader. I love that you’re out there. All five of you. I love that you come visit here and swim occasionally in the drivel. Thank you for your comments.
if Nothing changes…nothing CHANGES.
what does that do for you?
Misti Ridiculous 
Well, you know, actually if nothing changes I will keep eating hot fudge on a spoon for dinner and then I will have to change INTO NEW BIGGER JEANS! But other than that, yeah, I hear you.
Does the tree have to go in the box? Can it go in a bag? Is it in its 2 pieces now so it’d fit in a bag? Or two? I’m starting to think, fuck the fucking box, it’s not helping.
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the box is NOT helping. but I’ve already put the freeze on spending. and I COULD go buy another container. but I have this box. this perfectly good box that it CAME TO ME IN and it’s NOT helping. So we’re at a stand still. faceoff. stalemate. deadlock. you get the picture.
the 40yroldwoman vs. the christmastreebox.
there’s symbolism in there somewhere.
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“If nothing changes, nothing changes” works for me. Kinda. I need a job. So if that doesn’t happen, I’ll either be homeless or begging for someone to take me in. In a way, for me, if nothing changes, everything will. I do, however, like the mantra. I don’t like trying to please “them.” (Whoever “they” may be) We all should be more content with the way things are; so we stop killing ourselves for getting ourselves where we currently are. ❤
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Well it’s time for this chick to get on the “change” wagon!! no choices left, and we know what a sunny attitude I have…therefore, umph! Have to, have to, have to. Hopefully this will soon become want to, want to, want to…
as for the tree + box = duct tape!! this is how the Wynn’s roll. Stuff what u can in the box, tape around the rest. I find if you put a big black trash bag tucked around the tree the tape sticks to it and you just rip it open next year!
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Oh my holy shitballs. that’s the most brilliant idea yet. I tried to pry the damned thing apart this morning and just got pissed off again. duct tape and trash bags. God Bless the Wynn family.
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Misti, are you still planning to go to The Jens’ house tonight? I’ll bring you a few contractor bags, which are a bit bigger and tougher than regular trash bags.
I’ve been thinking about change lately (it’s the beginning of a new year, so how can you not?), and there’s a lot I like and love about my life, but all those things I want to change are the result of being content with the way things are, or worse, being afraid of failing to make a change. I just finish reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. It’s about his journey to change the story of his life, from one that is boring and passive to one that is meaningful and active.
***
From the Author’s Note:
If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn’t cry at the end when he drove off the lot, testing the windshield wipers. You wouldn’t tell your friends you saw a beautiful movie or go home and put a record on to think about the story you’d seen. The truth is, you wouldn’t remember that movie a week later, except you’d feel robbed and want your money back. Nobody cries at the end of a movie about a guy who wants a Volvo.
But we spend years actually living those stories, and expect our lives to be meaningful. The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won’t make a story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either.
***
I read that, and just felt a knot in my gut, because I know it’s true.
I know the stories, and the myths, and the hero’s journey, and all of that. And I know that in all of the good stories, the main character isn’t the same person at the end of it that he or she was at the beginning. They’ve overcome the trials and tribulations, and the struggles, and the obstacles, and sacrificed. They have changed.
And if they don’t change, they don’t get to be the hero of their own story. And neither do I. To have a different life, I have to become a different person. To have a better life, I have to be a better person. Story is all about choices, and I’m supposed to be the main character in the story of my own life, but there are a lot of times when I feel like I’m living life as if I’m only a supporting character in someone else’s story. So, if I want a better story for myself, I need to make better choices, and that means changing what I do and/or how I do it.
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Sometimes Chris makes me teary.
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