I am acutely aware of how fast time is passing me by.
I don’t know when I became aware. I know that when I was young and would make a comment on how fast the summer went by all of the grownup’s would just cluck cluck cluck, tsk tsk tsk and say, “The older you get, the faster time moves.”
Maybe they engrained a fear in me. Deep seeded, rooted in the idea that my whole like could pass and I wouldn’t have paid a bit of attention to it.
I am acutely aware.
Every month when I send the bank my mortgage payment I think two things:
a) we get to stay here another month.
b) didn’t I JUST do this?
From the beginning of this semester, I knew that life would be nuts. So many things to accomplish, deadlines to meet, pieces of business to work out. Knowing is one thing, living it is a horse of a nuther feather. I’ve whined and complained and taken myself completely out of my social circle.
Don’t ask me. Just support me. Like that cheating-ass robot from the future, “I’ll Be Back.” Understand that this is what I have to do. I have to close myself up in my house, or at the library and get this work finished. It is important to me, and imperative to my cause. Believe me, no one is looking more forward to Christmas break than this girl. I promise you that.
And it will be here in a blink.
This month is mid-terms, papers due, exams taken. It’s Fall Break and HarvestFest. It’s Fall Fest and family. It’s the GRE/round one. It’s birthdays of two women who hold pieces of my heart wherever they go. It’s a chill in the air, it’s sweatshirts and long pants and snuggly kitties and the beginning of my favorite time. My power time.
My calendar for Saturday’s in November are already booked, save one, with tests for college, literary conferences**, and holidays. Boom. Done.
I am determined, however, to not let it pass me by without recognition. It’s too beautiful to let go without experiencing it. So, this morning as I’ve got on my sweatshirt and sip my coffee, as I ruminate on the week ahead that will bring about glorious celebrations, and fierce deadlines, I take a moment and feel gratitude.
Because I am acutely aware of how fast it is all going. . .
and because we get to stay here another month.
**I was notified yesterday that my paper submission was accepted for presentation at the literary conference held yearly at my university. It’s a pretty big deal, with international participation as well as possible publication. I like the topic of my paper, so it won’t be awful. Though now…I guess I’d better write the damned thing.