Way back when This Grad School Thing was new, fresh and full of more questions than answers, I got some sage advice from Bill. He said, “Everyone is juggling, Misti. Everyone. The secret is to figure out which balls you can drop that bounce, and which ones break.”
Yesterday, I broke more than I bounced.
I missed a deadline, I had to refocus the thesis and research of my paper, the first rough draft of which is due Monday, my abstract for the conference I want to present this at is due tomorrow so this all readjusted that. There was a point where I found myself in my professors office and just burst into tears.
Not at all unlike those sessions in Ma/Ann’s office at USAO.
I got the director/producer’s manuel for the Listen To Your Mother Show this week. I’m compiling a folder of all the information. Once this semester is successfully finished, once the applications and letters of rec and letters of intent and all the proper information has been turned in on December 15…then I’ll jump into that.
Yesterday was one of the days that….ya’ll…it just tried to swallow me hole. It was defeating. And it sucked.
There is just a lot on my plate for the next few weeks. And I am tired. My brain is tired. My everything is tired.
So it’s time to dig a little deeper and figure out where the energy is going to come from that will get me through one more month. Four more weeks and then . . .
my future will be in the hands of people that are not me
my semester will be finished and nothing else to be done about it
the end of this adventure will be not only within my grasp, but so close I can taste it
I don’t know quite what to make of all that.
It actually won’t matter if I can’t get this paper finished. And finished well. And get the abstract written and submitted. And get The Hidden Hand read by Monday. And get to work today and bang out hair nonstop from 10am until 8pm.
I’ll get some rest next week. Some rest and some good time with people that I love. Refueling, refilling.
But today, today I’m back to juggling.
This time, however, I’m using only the bouncy balls.