Again and Away

I’ve circled around this space like a vulture circling a carcass…words ready to fall out of me, needing to get out of me and yet I’ve stopped myself, censored myself and wondered about the ramifications of an honest dialogue in this space.

I’ve had some dark nights of the soul, some very serious conversations around life and love and what we want that to look like in this house. We’ve circled around and started having some real talk about what we want out of this life, what we do not want any more of, and how much of that we can control right in this moment. It’s been really exciting and I’ve missed sharing that with you…yet some of it isn’t for sharing. It’s the eternal conundrum.

I’ve missed writing here. As always when I go deep spans of time without visiting this space, once I come back it makes me instantly happy to start the story.

I’ll just say that the past months have been a story that had just about everything. Joy, travel, girlfriends on a quest for relaxation and fried pies. There’s been betrayal and anger and pain. Questions and uncertainty and answers and excitement layered with memories of those who have said goodbye. New adventures in the world of non-profit, new adventures in the world of being a board member and new adventures in thinking about no boundaries.  Throw in an alligator and a non-creepy Michael Douglas and it could be a version of Romancing the Stone. (because come on. that movie had it all, didn’t it?)  Both Mark and I feel as if this year has just kind of had us dog paddling. It started off with cookie season, our wedding, Listen to Your Mother: OKC, moved into Summer Breeze for him, both of us saw our jobs become increasingly more stressful.

Life.

I’ve been working fervently on a work/life balance.

I’ve been looking at the specific skills I want to acquire in this position and have a clear intention about getting them.

I’m feeling the need for a creative outlet. Perhaps doing a show? Getting back on the stage after x amount of years. Or maybe just buying a coloring book and some markers. I don’t know yet.

Working to stay in this moment, while juggling all of the reminders that there is no guarantee for the next one.

We had our 6 month wedding anniversary last month and while it’s been crazy, it’s also been wonderful and steadfast.

That balance has been pretty awesome.

It always seems like things are good and right as we are hours away from heading to the mountains.

That in itself, is telling.