#goodlife

Coming off of a weekend that was just chalk full of socializing it’s taking every bit of effort to force myself to get out into the world and get errands finished today. I just kind of want to lay on the couch, watch a movie, play on the computer and be nonsensical.

Alas, there is no time for nonsense.

Rather than tell you all about the things I need to do for LTYM:OKC, or my research paper, or the laundry issues that are quickly becoming something akin to a natural disaster, or the oil that hasn’t been changed in my car for…awhile***. . . I think I’ll tell you about last night.

***I haven’t taken any big drives in my car since Mark and I started dating and that’s when I would always get the oil changed. I used to be really on top of things like this…I’m doing it today. I swear.

Yesterday was a beautiful Easter Sunday. It’s one of my favorite things that BonusMom and I do, and this year I worried (unnecessarily) about managing a two – family day. I was worried that I would have to choose between Mark’s family celebrations and my tradition with BonusMom. I don’t want to set a precedence for spending holidays separately. But taking into account another person is…well that’s the compromise in a relationship now isn’t it?

There was nothing to worry about. We had an early Easter breakfast with his whole family,  and it was lovely. It feels like I haven’t seen any of them in eons and truly…TRULY I just love these people. They feel like family. Real family.  I know so many things that come with a relationship are just kind of adapted to, dealt with, something that must be done to appease…but I genuinely enjoy this bunch. It’s so nice to have family that lives close by. I miss mine terribly so to be able to just everyone have breakfast together and laugh at the kid and her Easter basket presents…well that is just fine by me. Soul filling.

We then jumped in the car about 10:20 and headed out to Yukon for church service and then dinner at the Frontier. It was Mark’s first time at the Frontier, and we walked the grounds, looking at all the plants and flowers and vegetables and birds and cats and the creek…lots of Nature out there. Lunch was delicious and slow, great food and wine, full of laughter and easy conversation.

Sunday afternoon with my best friend
Sunday afternoon with my best friend #goodlife

We had planned on attacking the rest of the yardwork at his house but by the time we got home via a stop at my house (more clothes) and Lowes(ilovethatstore) our desire to work turned into a desire to sit on a porch and have a beer and just enjoy the sunshine. I love those moments, just the two of us, more easy conversation, and easy silence. We talk about everything and nothing. There is no one I would rather sit with.

Pinterest is jealous of us #goodlife
Pinterest is jealous of us #goodlife

We ended the night with popcorn made on the stove the real way, a few beers, a fuzzy blanket and a movie theatre set up in the back yard.

the PERFECT date #goodlife
the PERFECT date #goodlife

I tell ya my friends, when this man puts on his woo-ing mood…he knows no boundaries.

It’s a good life that we’re forging together. Navigation may be tricky at times. Friends must adjust and understand that there are new boundaries, but time spent in both worlds … trying to balance time with everyone is important to us.  It takes effort and scheduling and some grace on all parts to make that successful and mostly, I think we’ve done okay there. Negotiating holiday time and having new families to consider can be tricky, but we’re doing it pretty well. At times we may communicate worse than Mars and Venus, because he’s a guy with a guy brain, and I’m a girl with feelings on my shoulders and we both bring our fair share of scars to the table. Sometimes dinner is late and doors break and everything goes to hell in a handbasket . . . but some days, you sit in the sunshine and then you sit under the stars, watching a movie and turn the passing trains into a fun little make out game and you hold hands under the blanket and you fall in love all over again.

I’m actually starting to trust this feeling of security…steadfast and safe. I never really thought that would happen.

It’s a #goodlife.

Happy Monday, ya’ll

The Long Night’s Moon

I’m home. It’s been a week, whirlwind, stuffed full of fun and emotion and family and friends and weather and food and drink and love. I can’t remember the last night I spent here, I think it was perhaps last Sunday night. Time is, once again if not still, playing with me.

The holidays are what they are for people. I’ve never been one to stand firmly in any camp. I love the holidays. I abhor the holidays. Most of the time it depended on where I was in my own life, and what was shaking down from my family life as to how I was going to approach this time of year.

Some years, especially after my parents divorced, were as miserable as a burn. It was a pain that had no simple solution nor any end in sight. . . until all of a sudden. . . it was gone. There were especially good years, during my early relationships, after my family seemed to heal a bit, those firsts with the babies that bring out the excitement and love…and then that went away and I was miserable again. Depression a few years ago struck so hard that I didn’t even put up a tree.

I. didn’t. even. put. up. a. tree.

It’s hard for as many reasons as it is special to people. I chose not to dwell on the misery. I really do love the lights. I love my house decorated and homey. I love the tree and the smell and the ornaments that I recall from years past. I push the little red ball with Wonderboy’s picture and his voice recorded and I think…”that was when he loved us all more than the computer.” But it can be wonky, to be sure.

Navigating this season, coming off of the most intense semester to date, really trying to be sure of my next steps, professionally, juggling the financial pressures, the time off and scheduling as well as maneuvering it all with a new relationship and trying not to trip and fall…

Well I didn’t do it this year.

This year, I tripped.

I’m learning, though. I’m learning to vocalize what I want and need, even though it may not coincide with what I’ve always done, where I’ve always been. Understanding that communication is the most important item on the list, and checking it twice is a lesson I’ve learned again this season.

It hasn’t been time without hurt feelings, or shitty behavior. I will learn to be better at the gift buying and giving. I will not screw up the buttermilk pie because I’m DrunkBaking.

I think for the most part, this Christmas was a success. His family liked the roasted vegetables and the cranberry salsa/creme cheese appetizer. My dad met Mark, and we all spent some time laughing together as a family. I was astounded more than once at the awesome things I got. Three Le Creuset cookware pieces, a new NorthFace and some gloves that I can use with my iPhone and a pen carved out of the ugly tree that used to live in front of my house (remember my wine glasses from last year?) I’m using it to take notes for next year. I’m figuring it out. I’m not convinced that my big gifts were the WOW that I thought they would be…Who knows. I’ll keep a better list this next year, make some mental notes…who knows where we’ll all be in 12 months, right?

Tonight, I’m about to go make chili and get some cleaning done for my holiday party here tomorrow night. Talaura, Cindy and our friends will all gather round and have a drink and a nosh and just enjoy the time before it all winds down. Sunday is my first meeting for our Listen To Your Mother Show, and I’ve got to start making some notes for that. It’s cold and brisk outside, the cats are all snuggly and happy to have me home.

All in all, on this night of the final full moon of 2012, I have to say I think we did our first couple Christmas well. I’m excited for the next few days that are minimal obligations. And like most of you, I’m looking forward to putting a tag on this year. The Long Night’s Moon is what they call it tonight…I think I’ll go howl one last time.