sorry for the downer post. it seems as if the voices in my head are all standing at the front requiring my attention. i’ll give you a few examples. ten to be exact.
10)the house voice. . . it’s all encompassing. will i get it? can i afford it? when can i start working? what will i do? what colors will I paint? what projects will I start? what projects will i be able to afford? it’s a loud voice.
9.) the baby shower voice…giving my sis a shower on the 2nd. the sunday after maegen’s birthday party that we’ve been planning for eons. have a list for this and have begun crossing things off so while this voice is loud, it’s not a screamer.
8.) the weigh in voice…took last week off from working out and even though i went back tonight i just feel flop.
7.) the my college bff voice…his voices won and he’s in the hospital. tonight I hear he is better, more clear with his thoughts. Am going to try to see him this weekend maybe. if his wife will put me on the visitor list. that’s a big if.
6.) the grandpa voice. Bonusmom updated me tonight. apparently papa went into the hospital for pneumonia a few days ago. he’s back at the home now but apparently the doctors have suggested hospice. . . which means about 6 months.
5.)the get the income taxes done voice. I have receipts in shoe boxes and organization needs so great that those guys on the hgtv show would melt down.
4.)the boy voice…though this voice is one of the quietest it still talks to me quite a bit and lately it’s saying things i don’t want to hear.
3.)the dad voice. loud fucker. will be seeing him on sunday for a house tour.
2.)the lonely voice. another screamer. we need a gag ball for this one please! all I took from the house were the handcuffs and the riding crop so will have to find a substitute to quieten down this one.
1.) the escape voice. maybe the loudest of them all, the only one i hear over the cacophony that is this choir of mine. dear god make me a bird so i can fly fly far far away.
Misti Ridiculous 
Can’t give a good simple answer for #’s 6 and 7. But my prayers and good wishes are with you. The rest of it, all you can do is your best. Marriages fail, children grow, and friends part. The one person that’s always guaranteed to be there is you. The weight doesn’t matter, getting things done a little later than you want doesn’t matter , and the opinions of other people do not matter no matter WHO they are. If you can look in the mirror and be happy with who you are knowing you’re giving everything your best shot, then that is what is truly important. Everything will work out in it’s own time.
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I want to hear more about the boy voice.So sorry about Grampa and your college friend. I really hope you can get on the list. I think you’ll feel better about it once you see him.They really need to move OK next to NYC because I have the same tax and organization problems and we need to just be able to order in some food and get some wine and sit there with our shoe boxes and sort shit out.xoxoxoxxo
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Give him my love when you see him.
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Kevin Tate’s Dad seems to have some very good advice. 10’s a crowd Sis. We need to retreat. In two ways…Church, lets find one and go. When you are ready to go, I will be too. The one Mr. Tabor suggested still looks good to me and I could use an eye ball full of him. And a mini vacation…we need a wine weekend. Something else to plan I know. But if you don’t take some time to recharge and bath in Faith the voices are going to eat you. So lets get you some GO GO juice!
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You guys are awesome. love love love you. xoxoxo
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