You’re Not Thirty Either

You guys! You guys!!! It’s ok!!! I’m ok! the guy and I are ok. My heart isn’t crackling into teensy bits of firtch. I’m not curled up in my bed listening to Air Supply on repeat. I haven’t dove headfirst into either tequila or velveeta. It’s all ok.

Last night was actually…fine. Other than I didn’t want to do gameshow, but I have NEVER wanted to do gameshow. For an ENTIRE YEAR I have said no to gameshow…and I gave Brian the answers so that he would WIN gameshow…just to get it over with. (heh. that’s what she said.) And we were fine and civil and frankly, he was NOT at the center of my attention. It’s ok. and he isn’t an asshole. or an idiot. and the girl? I’m sure she is lovely, Hubble. This was never a match made in funny heaven, ever. So it’s no one’s fault…

This weekend I was a ROCKSTAR!!! Yes. Yes indeedy. Went to Bedlam Baseball with my PseudoSisters and entourage. Had a blast with Bobby and Kasey and all the crew. Drank some free beer. Some 8 dollar beer. Went to a piano bar after. Headed to my homebar after that…rolled in sometime around 2am. Sunday was spent with crappy Mexican food and a round table of funny best friends doing the whole recap of each weekend. It was really nice. I called my mom for Mom’s day and made the comment that someone should remind me that I’m not 21 anymore…her response?

You’re not 21, Zelda.
You’re.
Not.
Thirty.
Either!!!

SLAM!!!

but the thing is…that number? I have no comprehension what it’s supposed to mean. I’ve seen people hit, say…50, and all of a sudden it’s an excuse for everything to fail. To go south. slowly. and the thing is…IT DOES! They automatically got old.

I have too much I want to do to slow down. I have too much I want to see and feel and taste and love and eat and experience…So while I am NOT 21 any longer…and shit. yeah. I’m not even on the other side closest to 30…I don’t care. I wouldn’t want to be. Look at how fabulous 38 is on me! Go back? Pish Posh. Bite yourself. I”m not gonna.

But I would say that last night was an early to bed night for me. Zonked right out!!!

I’m reading

.

I’ve been avoiding this like an Arbonne Party ever since it came out. I have to say, anything that get’s that much hype…and especially if Oprah loves it? ehhhhh. Notsomuch. Chrome, however, made me bring it home when I was there at the first of the year. I’ve finally this week picked it up and I ashamedly admit to you that I am devouring it. Connecting with it. With this author. I has made me want to want again. Made me want big.

I want to travel. I do. I need a passport. I don’t even have a copy of my birth certificate so this process will take a few steps. And I dreamt last night of getting another job. part time…to help with money and to help save money. Work is horrible last week and this one. I had three mens cuts and a style. Tomorrow I had two clients, but my color, the money, text to say she’d lost HER job and had to cancel. Times are tough and I’m a little bejiggidy about money. A Lot bejiggidy about money. But all the while, in my mind, I want to take a trip. I want to find a way….and yes I need to see Dionysas in Chicago this summer. And I’d LOVE another trip to MYNYC…and I’d love to hit Vegas and hang with Carus for a bit…but I really really really want to see Italy. I just do. sigh.

so anyways…I have no idea how, or when, but I”m going to do that. I just am. Passport. First step! Dream a little dream, eh kids?

because I may not be thirty…but I’m sure as hell not dead!