Oh sweet Lord above I’m sore. And tired. I went to bed at 8:47 last night. and slept all the way till 7am. All I can tell you is I am doing it. Each day. And I really love my new protein drink. Vanilla. It does not suck.
Work is slow. Reaffirming why I didn’t quit and go boothrent this month…most of my clients are very supportive when I tell them of the change. Several of them have surprised me and seem to want some nasty story as to why I’m leaving. Is it human nature to seek the dirt instead of the light? Gah. There is no dirt. It’s time for a change. Period.
With each client that I prebook in my own scheduler to transfer to the new place, I have a little heartbreak and a lot of fear. I squelch it, mostly because I have to use my entire reserve of brain juice to make my legs work. I do, however, feel a major sit on the side of the tub and ugly cry meltdown coming my way…just be warned.
Yesterday in the private training session we did weights. I was happy for that. I feel like I’m dying with the cardio. I can feel every single cigarette that I’ve ever smoked. and I hate it. HATE IT. But about two circuits into the weights I realized it was a poor choice to be excited. And then when we ran sprints and jogged back…well God Bless PseudoSis3…Sometimes I feel like I hold everyone back because they don’t want me to run alone. And I do NOT have that competitive drive. I could give a shit if I’m last. The Presidential Physical Fitness Test taught me that lovely mindset. Fat Girl RUNNING!!! But she stayed with me, and wheezed right along side me. And we just look at each other deep in the eye with a look that says,”this is it. i’m dying. it’s been real. please take care of my body and don’t let the others step on me when they leave” —and yet, we walk out together. Living gimpily to see another day.
Guess what today is?
Let’s take a moment and remember one of my true loves, shall we?
And my ONE TRUE LOVE…because it is LOVE THURSDAY…