Scared, too…

Yeah, that scale is my bitch. I was scared too. I’m already scared that next week’s weigh in won’t reflect a loss. It’s been so long since I’ve felt positive about anything I was doing health-wise that my brain is geared toward the negative.

Isn’t that just odd?

I’m still wrapping my head around the new Points Plus program, all that I used to know is different now. So it seems that I spend enormous amounts of time looking up or figuring up points. Gah. yeah yeah yeah, it’s the second day. Cut myself some slack. I hear you.

Scared, too…it’s January. Kind of a screetching halt to the working and the moment where I go….SHIT why did I spend all that money last month!!! It’s ok. It is. I’m determined not to get panicked. I’m determined to go get that Ramsey book and start my debt program. I’m determined to use the “free time” to work on things that take up all my brain juice “I should have been doing…I need to be doing…”

I’m ready to get my business finances all in the Quickbooks. I have to load a new operating system on my machine before the 2011 version will work on it. I’m ready to get my tax information all gathered and find a place to take it. But that’s nothing I can really do until I get all the paperwork in the mail. . . just breathe through that.

So I have all these things in the back of my mind that are giving me some level of anxiety. I’m not excited about starting my year out with this little baggage. I want to chill out and figure a way through it without eating my hair.

My first client canceled this morning. She’s got the strep-throat. Bless her for not coming anyway. So my day doesn’t actually START until 3pm. I’m going in before then, but this morning, I’m taking down the dang tree. I am.

really.
I’m doing it.
right now.
i promise.