Focusing on the Good.

Last week was perhaps the most bi-polar week I’ve ever lived through. Never before can I remember having so many personal victories overlap so many national tragedies. Adding into that mix time spent at work and school and bartending both Friday and Saturday nights…I’m still just kind of recovering.

I’m focusing on the good, because that’s what I have to do, what we all must try to do to keep our heads above water.

The new job. I told you about that. I’m so excited. I’m slowly telling everyone, getting the word out, referring my clients into the hands of extremely capable and awesome stylists. I think I’ve told you before how I hate goodbyes. As a little girl I would say goodbye to everything while choking back sobs. “Goodbye MeMe. Goodbye Papa. Goodbye fishys. Goodbye waves.  G-g-g-g-goodbye l-l-lake. sob. sob. snort. sob.”

What in heaven’s name was I thinking THIS process was going to be like? Who thought telling my clients about our breakup and my new adventure and all of the change in my life was going to be an emotionless walk down easy street?

*Misti put your hand down.

Good grief.

The last few days of last week were horrible. I went to the nail tech room and sobbed a few times. These people, I’ve become a part of their lives. This relationship we have forged saw good times and bad times, celebrations and mourning, new diets, new clothes, new boyfriends and wives and children. These relationships have all lasted longer than my marriage. This is some bonafied true investment we have going. And to know that this is our last appointment together…

sob.

The last few days of the week were also amazing.

My bestgoodfriend Trisha sent me a gorgeous grown up professional lady handbag in the mail. Kate Middleton Nude. I’m still obsessed. It’s the perfect color. She knows me so well and though we are miles apart and she has three kids and a husband and all kinds of stuff to juggle…here comes this box of shiny love in the mail.

LTYM is moving along nicely. I can’t believe that two weeks from today it’ll all be over. Our ticket sales are really exciting. I hope you don’t wait too late to get yours.

I turned in my final forever final last one forEVER research paper. Done. I’m so over it that I don’t even want to give that more space.

Finally, Mark and I didn’t see each other but maybe once last week, which was awful. But at least it was the night of the horrible weather and we were together and not worrying about individual weather…

The driving back and forth, the being 45 minutes apart, the living out of bags in two different counties…it’s not impossible. It is inconvenient. It has come to a point where we may not see each other for days, and while we both lead busy lives, and will continue to lead busy lives, we at least want to see each when we say goodnight and good morning.

The fact that my job will eventually office out of Norman was really the icing on the cake.

I’ll be putting the house on the market sometime this summer. Hopefully sooner than later. We will be tackling the project of combining stuff, as much or as little as we want, selling or storing the rest, and I’ll move to Norman.

Like he said tonight, “we can do stuff, or we can not do stuff but at least we’ll be doing or not doing it together.”

And that’s exactly it.

We just want to be doing or not doing it together.

So yeah. Some pretty big news here.

This weekend he came up and did yard maintenance  First mow of the season, ice storm debris, all of that. I started looking at the stuff in my house, in my garage and I got a little gurgly. He remains calm, “Don’t even worry about it. We need a garage sale. We’ll get a storage unit. Whatever. It’ll be fine.”

Selling this house will be just fine. It’s a good house. It’s got good bones. It will be good to it’s next owner. Of that, I’m sure. I have no idea how to begin this process, but I have friends that do. And Mark knows a lot about a lot. So I’m not going to worry about the unknown.

Everything is falling into place. It seems akin to the actors called “overnight successes” who have been struggling and working for years previous…It’s been almost 7 years I’ve been working toward something. A lifetime, really, of working towards, wanting a relationship that works, that’s healthy and supportive. I remind myself of the long seasons alone, and the really dark moments of dispair and think Ok.

Ok.

This has been coming my way for a long time.

Job. Career. Life.

All good news.