Life. Anew

Last night my dog ran away from home.

Mark and I had started building the container garden (Mark had started building the container garden) and Winnie and I came outside to see and I got so excited I focused solely on that and paid no heed to my dog. Probably ten minutes later we realized it and started the search on foot. Mark went back and got on his bicycle and I ran in and put on shoes and got in the car.

The gurgling panic was this close to
choking me when I saw two women walking towards my car at the entire other end of our street, holding a dog.

Winnie went on a neighborhood walk about ending up on the porch of the last house on the street staring into their home.

Relief and fear and relief and nausea filled me up.

This morning I got up before dawn. Sleep for me, was over and I just gave in. Is it a sign of old age? Likely. And the LTYM dreams and work dreams that chased me all night. Mark was still asleep but he talked all night so I know he wasn’t restful either. Anyways I made coffee and Winnie and I decided to plant the garden.

I got my hands in the dirt, loosened the roots of the vegetable plants we bought last night and created a new space for myself at this house. The morning was quiet and still and it was a moment of renewal and peace. It was holy.

I thought of Easter weekend and of my faith. I thought about John and where he is now and how I miss him. I wept with joy and profound gracefulness for this life and all the light and shadows that are part of the package. I remembered all those years ago when our downtown was scarred from the bombing and how that changed us.

And then I looked up and saw my garden. And my dog.

Life. Anew. Rebirth. Rejoice.

Happy Saturday ya’ll.