I need some sunshine. We haven’t seen the sun since Saturday. It’s starting to wear me the frack out. Bright side (i’m searching) is I feel like a human again!!! WOO HOOOO!!!! Thank GOD for quick med clinics, for antibiotics and for credit cards that still have some room on them to pay for it all!

I’m ready to get back to work this week. I’ve got to get the bills in order and start humping to get them paid down and off. Payday is Friday, but with taking off for RFTC and jury duty, I’m sans two days…GAK. Hopefully the next two days will rock it out to first commission…I hope.

My facebook is posessed. I can’t read my wall. I can’t get into my inbox to read mail. Something is bad bad leroy brown about it and I don’t know what. Anyone else got any ideas? I get error reports all the time. “cant post status” “cant retrieve info” “cant do anything you want at the time that you want” so I just keep punching the buttons and eventually I get in. Chrome hasn’t been able to see my wall either. . . HELP!!!!

Tomorrow is Gert’s birthday. She’s not a big fan, but stroll over to her site and give her a Hooo and a HAAA and a HAyaaaa today and tomorrow!

I forgot to take the trash out again. oy.

huzzuah and halakeleem! Happy Humping Day! MUAH!

Well I got cut today. Not released but cut. I’m still on call. I call the hotline on the 23rd after five pm and find out whether or not I report to jury selection the following Monday. It was pretty nerve wracking at first, I had to approach the bench because this jury term goes till November 6th. I fly out of state the 5th and had to let them know. They were kind and said they would accommodate that. Swell.

I was in the second group to go up. I was then about the 12th person called to go sit in the jury box, there were about 25 of us called total with about 8 leftovers sitting in the audience. We went thru ?’s from the bench. I had to tell that I’d previously testified in a murder trial. I’m thinking that was what got me dismissed. Whatever.

If I have to go, I have to go. The trials usually dont last but a few days. At least this isn’t in full blown holiday hair season. And it won’t interfere with my trip.

In other news, my hole feels better. I’ve slept pretty much all afternoon, am making chili to eat this week. It’s cold and dreary. We have Fall Fest this friday night, so will go out to the Frontier tomorrow or Thursday to help set that stuff up.

I’m a little panicked about $$ right now. After this next bartending gig, I’ll be able to send chunky payments for my computer down south, and get all kinds of stuff caught up! Just holding out this week for good tips and lots of clients!!!

I think that’s pretty much all I have the brain space for tonight, kids. I’m going to eat, watch a lil tv and go back to bed. Tomorrow…tomorrow is going to be a perky day. I can feel it!

Jury duty today. I’m up at the crack of ass to get my coffee on and wake up and be there earlier than usual just in case I can’t find parking and whatnot…GAH.

I’ll be completely off the grid today. This alone is enough to send me to the nervous hospital. No texting. No phones. No internet. Nada. Zilch. Bubkiss. Flop. Sigh. There is an emergency number in case anyone needs me for an emergency. I’ll email/facebook that out this morning.

I feel better. Slept for about 12 hours last night, four hours yesterday…the meds are kicking in and starting to work. Feels better. Still, I’m broken hearted for missing NYCVegan last night, DannyOH was in town as well…sad sad sad.

Ok here’s a small bitch of mine regarding government and healthcare…riddle me this kiddos. The government, Republicans especially, but not solely are verrrrrrrrrrrry adamant about healthcare and government staying out of it…unless it comes to a womans’s right to choose, and a woman’s right to privacy. My lovely state is doing THIS. Clearly someone is on the crack. It makes my blood boil. I mean, yeah, it’s allegedly anonymous but this comes after my state tried to pass THIS law.

After yesterday, I would wish the biggest of wishes that my government gave as much of a shit about my insurance as they do my vagina and what I do with it.*

Huzzuah and Halakaleem. Happy Tuesday. I’m heading to lockdown.

*not the most cheerful of posts this morning. but I’m kinda wearing my cranky pants. and I’m going to Green Mile for the day. Without the mouse.

So, that lovely little UTI thing I had last week? Faithfully injested twice daily the antibiotic and the cranberry and everything I was supposed to do. Didn’t budge. I was swinging back to the dark side with the pain so this morning I just decided to say to hell with it. I went to a First Med clinic. (do NOT get me started on the insurance thing people. just do NOT.) The office visit was 80 bucks. I think that’s fair, ya know. I got right in. No appointment. It was a clean facility, all good stuff.

Well, after telling them that I’d already done a round of meds and what not, they were a little skeptical that any kind of test would read clearly…yeah. I guess when you’re off the freakin charts with bad things swimming around in you, it reads pretty clear. The doc was super nice, offered to give me a shot of antibiotics to jump start this, but when he realized I was self pay. (no insurance) he went to see the cost first. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for a shot of antibiotics.

we said no thank you and just got the script for the pills and the pain.

another 80 bucks to fill ONE of those and I came home. I took a pain pill I had in the cabinet and actually slept for almost four hours…this is wearing me out. it really really is.

and I’m soooo nervous about jury duty tomorrow. I’m nervous about getting there so early, getting parked and reporting by 7:30 am. I’m nervous about no phones with me, no computers with me, so I’ve got four plays from committee mtg to read. I’m nervous about sitting all day and not getting called. I’m nervous about getting called and going into the courtroom and having a panic attack from sense memories of the time I had to testify in the murder trial. I’m nervous about getting picked on a jury. I’m nervous about not working…

gah.

I had a super great fantastic weekend though! Boyfriend and I hung out in Batshitcrazytown on Friday. We went to the War Bar and sat with his best friend and talked to Gert. We stopped by his parents house for a visit first, and that was nice. Saturday was Race for the Cure and it was just amazing. Elephantsoap took photos, check out her blog for those. Saturday night, as posted below, was another fun one and then last night he and I went up to the bar for some Colts football and fellowship. Home around 10 and since I was feeling pretty bad by then, sleep came fast.

I am going to comedy tonight. I know I should stay home, but the NYC Vegan is performing. I am DYING to see his face! I’ll skip out early due to my tomorrow, but I must must MUST go see him tonight!.

what else??? I’m hungry. I’m sloshy from the 64 ounces of cranberry juice that is in my belly. and that’s about it.

i’ll keep you posted!

Oh, here’s my reading list this week for the Play Selection Committee

Steve & Idi by David Grimm
Beauty on the Vine by Zak Berkman
The Farnsworth Invention by Aaron Sorkin
Great Falls by Lee Blessing

I’ll report back later!!!

huzzuah and halakaleem!

Saturday night: reunion committee reunion. Fabulous time!

Sunday: brunch with Gert and Joe, play selection committee meeting, pick up U2 tickets (have I mentioned that Gert and I are going to the U2/Black Eyed Peas concert a week from today?) home to rest a little bit then to the bar for Colts football.

Monday: meet Bonusmom at noon to shop for Fall Fest. Comedy with the NYCVegan.

Tuesday: 7:30 am report for mother effing jury duty.

Wed: hopefully report to work because said mother effing jury duty has decided not to use me.

Thursday: Wish Gert a Happy Birthday. Wish the NYCVegan a Happy Birthday. Help set up for fall fest.

Friday: Fall Fest

Saturday: work during the day banging hair. work a wedding that night.

Sunday: U2 and Black Eyed Peas with Gert! HALLA!!!

this week makes me tired just looking at it.

I need some Halloween costume ideas. Boyfriend and I are going to a party and need some inspiration. Help us.

Before I know it, I’ll be flying off to Chicago and seeing Dionysas and Kizz and all my Saginaw peeps….

my favorite time of year. hands down.

how’s your life going?

I missed Love Thursday yesterday. As any of you can attest, my mind is otherwise unavailable for consultation. Today, though, I’m playing Thankful Friday.

Today I am thankful for my friends Elephantsoap and Numskullery. For they set an example with effortless grace of what I want to be. They offer no judgement, yet can call foul and set things straight without burning anything. They give love. Relentless, graceful, hysterical, love. I want to be them.

Today I am thankful for LT and Mgirl. Whether it’s under the gazebo or at the round table this trio has become another saving grace. We talk. We laugh. We get it. We bless it and let it go. We feel better and are better because of it.

Today I am thankful for the rest of my tribe, spread out across the land. For each one of them.

Today I am thankful for Wonderboy who sends me his school papers to view. Stars! 100%’s! He’s brilliant!

Today I am thankful for my family. For the opportunity to see them next week.

Today I am thankful for my job which is offering flu shots this morning. I will have one. yes. Ouch. yes.

Today I am thankful for my house. It’s kind of wrecked but I love it.

Today I am thankful that it’s Friday and that tomorrow I will Race For The Cure with my BonusMom and company. I love this day.

Today, I am thankful for you. Thank you for reading.

Today, I am just thankful.

and for those keeping track? I’m still crazy. I’ve got some conversations to get out of my head and onto the table. But I think it’ll be ok. I truly truly do…

Oh and one more thing?

I’m thankful for him.

so my sis commented yesterday that 9 out of 10 patients admitted to the hospital sighting “mental status changes” are diagnosed with a UTI.

that is some SERIOUS shit, people! and truly explains a lot. By the end of yesterday I was not fun or happy or bueno in any shape or form. We went to eat at Cheesecake Factory, then home and just flop. I could barely speak! He’s too kind.

anyways, today is a brand new day. I feel better. I need to get up and get ready, but the rain, oh the rain is preventing any sort of productive movement in this house.

I’m going to get up now. I’m going to get myself together and get to work and bang some hair and make some money and be grateful for all that I’ve got going on. I’m going to try to take my cranky pants off and put them WAAAAAY back in the back of my closet.

That’s what I’m going to do. What are you going to do today?

My crazy was hanging out yesterday. Turns out, I had a bladder infection/uti kind of thing going on that progressed from Wha? to HOLY MOTHER OF GOD in about 5 hours. I got some meds, had some antibiotics called in, home and in bed by 8:30. This morning, I do feel better. Physically. Mentally. I do.

In the middle of my crazy yesterday, I got some emailings with Abbylicious in NYC. thank the good tech world for the crackberry! She gave me some sage words of wisdom that I’d like to share here:

No, you’re not crazy. Let’s break this down:

*You’re quitting smoking. It’s really hard. It requires many, many deep breaths and a decision pretty much every hour on the hour to not smoke that hour. And that’s a lot of decisions to make.

*Even though your brain gets it, the core of you doesn’t actually understand the difference between good change and bad change. Almost all people, even freewheelin’ girls like yourself, crave the status quo. So change has come in and thrown you for a total loop. The reunion was like three weeks ago, and since then your whole world has turned itself upside down. Your routines are out of whack, your future is colored enormously differently and your core is saying OH HOLY FUCK I DID NOT SIGN ANY FORMS TO APPROVE THIS and you’re paying some attention by having a bit of a nutty.

This from a woman who I’ve had facetime with exactly three times. Isn’t that a gift? I’m so blessed.

Thank you Abbylicious. It’s true. It’s good. I’m fine and feeling much better today.

I need more coffee. Tons of water and some breakfast so I can take my pee pee meds.

Happy Humping Day Ya’ll. You’re half way there!!! Tuck your chin, and hang on tight.

I just checked my Twitter…I’ve been remiss as of late. My last tweet was 15 days ago.

FIFTEEN DAYS AGO.

this is significant, why? Because that was the first full day with Boyfriend. I was on the couch with the Emmys and pizza and him and I was happy.

FIFTEEN DAYS AGO.

This weekend was nuts. The last two weekends have been nuts. I’ve worked events both Saturday nights. There hasn’t been much room for socializing. I’ve become very aware at how many changes I’ve been going through. and I began to hyperventilate a little.

Lotta changes.
Quitting the smoking. again. I can’t get on birth control until I do. I’m to old. (insert any remark you feel here. God knows I have)
Lot’s of change comes along with that, physically, psychologically, bla bla bla. But I’m doing good.

We drove around and looked at houses in Batshitcrazytown this weekend. I’m having a little panic about that move. But we both agreed on a new house. We’ll build a new house in one of the new neighborhoods…and that’s nice. We really are on the same page about the big things.

I was there all weekend long and I have to say, I was happy to come home last night. I’ve been tired and missing my livestock, and worried about Kizz and thinking about the weather…(it’s birthday weather here. mine. gerts. chromes. mgirls. and it’s pretty powerful) and I have to say I felt a little guilty at feeling so good about being home.
and I wonder, Wha? Who? When? Wha???? OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!

and then I sign onto Twitter and I see that it’s only been

FIFTEEN DAYS.

and I get another cuppa joe and sip and enjoy the way life rolls around. and I start to concentrate on merging these two things in my head. and I can breathe a little easier.