8:35 and I haven’t showered yet. I’m not going to make it to lecture this morning…and that sucks. I walked this morning, 45 minutes around the lake, then stopped at the grocery to get some bananas. I dislike bananas but will eat them for the potassium which I clearly need. I’m walking like a 90 year old.
I got up in the night more than once and slathered Biofreeze on my legs and ate ibuprofen. That boot camp…I know it’s supposed to kick your ass, but clearly, I overdid it the first night. I’ll know better next week. This kind of incapacitating pain is ridiculous…and yeah, I know my fatass is completely out of shape but it’s going to get better. I just kind of all or nothing’d it Monday night. I was more afraid of what the others in the group would think about my lack of ability than truly thinking about my own body and what my limits were.
So my body said, Up Yours Suckaaaaaaah!
I’ve been having really good conversations lately with PseudoSis2, and with Rach while we’re walking…about trying to do too much. Putting too much on my schedule and then feeling so panicked and overwhelmed about it all. For example, Monday I had boot camp in Batshitcrazytown (45 minutes away) then comedy and a meeting for the sketch comedy thing I’m doing. I really felt the need to show up at comedy because the Redhead was headlining, and for all of the support bla bla bla. I had worked myself into a tizzy to the point of trying to back out of boot camp.
Luckily PS2 called me out on it and at that very point that I decided to bail on comedy and the meeting, I felt relief.
Again this morning. Not much sleep due to the sore factor, but up at 6 walking at 6:30. Two errands, back at the house with dishes and trash to deal with and I looked at the clock and had not even showered. Now. I could have rush rush rushed around and half assed it through the morning to the lecture…but I just decided. No. I’m going to deal with what’s on my plate here at home. and IMMEDIATELY I felt relief.
Putting myself back on the list. . . I kind of get it.
Elephantsoap talks of unitasking. Doing one thing to completion, and doing it well. I’m working on that. I am so wired for multitasking that it’s difficult for me to even sit through a movie anymore. ME. Having problems watching a movie at home! I’ve switched to tv shows on dvd because my attention span allows for that.
It’s interesting, isn’t it? What our focus is, how we manifest that in our lives? Are we all wound up so tightly that we feel this way? Is that what happened to the summer? How do you feel about this…and what do you do about it?
That’s it for me. I’m taking my coffee and going to the living room and watching some reruns of How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory. People, if you aren’t watching these two shows, you are wasting your life. Mondays on CBS. Set to tape. You won’t feel bad about it one tiny bit. While I’m in there I’m going to do some abs with my new medicine ball…and streatch it out!
Huzzuah and Halakaleem and Happy Humping Day!
ps. I love George Clooney. Lookie! He’s doing squats too! Funnily enough, that’s the same face I make when I do them.
2 thoughts on “I Didn’t Make It or How Do You Spell Relief?”
What you are really talking about is fighting an addiction. Our bodies get addicted to the chemicals released from stressful, busy living. But you'll notice that the more you actually slow down, the easier it will be to do so. And your body will actually crave it.I've gotten to the place where after finally learning to slow down, I'm doing all this stuff. And I'm having a hard time holding shit together. I am learning to say no. And I've made a promise to myself to never skip my meditation practice, never skip washing my face and brushing and flossing the teeth before bed time. So far so good. Just ask yourself "what's the most important thing in this moment?".
I am completely there with you! I try to squeeze things in here, push things in over there..and all I end up doing is over-promising. Lately, I've been thinking alot about that, and how it is affecting me. It makes me feel bad about myself when I say I will do something and then I don't. I like to be a "man of my word" type of a person, and lately.. just hasn't been that way. Cindy – Kudos for the routine. And I will try to simplify and see what is REALLY important. Only problem is, I know what it is, but unfortunately, it won't happen just yet. Hawk