I just cleaned out my pantry, freezer and fridge. My trash is full of “food” and there is now a sack full of NutterButters and Little Debbie snacks on my table. Bags of chips as well. I don’t know where those are going, but they can’t stay here.
I went full tilt batshitfoodcrazy the last part of the semester. My inner voice, the one that says, “make a better choice” was hog tied and ball gagged since about October. I’ve decided to free her today. Drinking my water, ridding myself of processed foods, no more fast food or cola. No more real cola for sure. I just lost my ever lovin’ mind and didn’t care. Chicken fried steaks! Gravy! More cocktails than you could shake an AA meeting at. Lord.
I’m not beating myself up. I was, for the most part, enjoying life. Surrounded by friends. Laughing. Soaking it up.
But this is my week to get my proverbial shit together.
I’m having a facial this afternoon.
Trish is coming up to go grocery shopping with me. (it takes a village of support. it really does)
My laundry is going, the house is mostly clean, I’m pulling down the Christmas lights off the house today. This time next week I’ll be back in school. I’m a little stressed, but not nearly as much as last semester! I’ve got some phone calls to make, some financial aid issues to resolve, and books for two classes to buy. I’m calling about my remote starter for my car and checking that off of my list. I’ve got insurance calls to make (don’t even get me started about that fiasco) and the trash has GOT to be taken out. The recycle is overflowing.
Not a single one of these things is a life or death situation. By not doing ONE of them, the world won’t stop rotating, will it?
But each baby step. Each car length ahead…each mile or two we move forward…When we look back we’ve accomplished a mountain. We’ve run the race set before us. We’ve done SOMETHING.
And all of those teeny tiny somethings, make up for a really great feeling when we look back on it.
Just three, four days ago we were all looking back. Reviewing.
Today we look forward.
Cleansing our lives and bodies and schedules and freezers.
Breathing through all of it.
Releasing old patterns of behavior, blessing it and letting it go.
And now…we begin again.
Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around…right?