Yesterday, as I came home from a long day of test taking and hair banging, I got the mail. More medical bills. To the tune of about $1000. I’ve already paid them $700. Turns out this insurance of mine…I should have looked it over much more carefully before I went out and had my lady parts checked, and my crazy parts checked and had that stupid woman suggest lap band surgery and tell me my hormones were fine.
My mammogram? That I could have found a free program for? $580. My insurance paid $80. One ultrasound got a whopping $36 paid from the insurance.
I immediately melted down. Because I’ve got to pay taxes out of this student loan nest egg. And the rest of the summer classes. And while my business is doing well enough, picking up even with new clients—–
And that’s where I stopped and took a breath.
I’ve had three new ones and another on my book today.
It’s going to be ok.
That test I took wasn’t my finest moment, but I have a renewed sense of commitment for my studies this semester. Maybe it’s Chris giving me the “you’re totally smart enough to do this” from another galaxy. Maybe it’s my brain, switching gears and shifting into place. Maybe it’s been this absolutely gorgeous weather, healing, renewing my spirit.
I don’t know, but I’m thankful for it.
I’m thankful that all of those expensive tests turned out fine. (I’ll not be going back for my other appointments however. I’ll have to look closer at my “insurance” and figure out what to do) I’m thankful that I didn’t exactly FLUNK that text. I’m thankful for my salon, and the support of my co-workers this year. I’m thankful for my new clients, and for my friends who have sent them my way.
Oh, and I paid off my car. I’m thankful for that, too.
So, when the crazy panic starts to gurgle up about the money and insurance and what the the hell am I supposed to do…I’ll just breathe in. Breathe out. One foot forward. . . and remember that it’s just another thing.
They can’t eat me.