July 5th Letdown

Do you ever get the let down after a holiday? I do. Specifically July 5th is my day. I always feel as if I didn’t do it well enough.

Growing up, it was the best holiday. There was rarely any fighting between the parents, we had cookouts and homemade ice cream and firecrackers and at the end of the night we would wind up on a tailgate, or in someone’s lap as we gazed up into the summer night and oooh’d and aaaaah’d at the beautiful fireworks display.

I love fireworks. I love the lights. I love all of it.

Each year I get close…I manage to find some friends and a hot dog. I usually get some sunshine and vitamin D on my skin by floating on some water of some sorts. It seems though, each year, this favorite of my holidays has turned from a really fun, soul filling event, into a reminder of…a time and family gone by. It leaves me sad more than full of happy.

It’s been this way for years. There for awhile it was fun. We were floating the river. Or I had my own family to feed and nurture. Or we were gathering together on the Frontier. But things change.

I don’t know. I think it’s a normal phenomonon. The post holiday let down. I don’t know how common it is to be on July 5th. Have you ever felt it? Do you know what I’m talking about?

The best thing to do is gear back up to go to the salon and bang some hair, to get more reading and writing finished and posted online for my class. I’m excited to see my family this weekend, they arrive Friday. Then the next weekend is Taos. July is gearing up with lots of family and friends, just as summertime should be.

So, I’ll just take this tiny moment of weird loneliness. I’ll take it and feel it and then bless it and let it go.

Who has time to dwell?