i fear hurt
that it’s all in my head
merely a manifestation of my hearts longing
rather than what
because who would want that, right?
how could that-this-be really desired in real life?
and that truth-proven
is more painful than living inauthentically in a fantasy
behind a wall
under a rug
hiding feels easier
but not better.
it does not feel better.
just some words I found in a notebook that I thought I’d put down here.
it’s interesting what changes over time.
and what does not.