Yesterday almost got me. I’ve been working for weeks to put together a multi-school parent info night to attempt to a) finally touch all of the interest forms gathered back in August and b) attempt to form new troops as community troops and finally be able to put the Norman leads in the pile that says “done.”
It was a lot a lot of work. Busy work, dealing with each of the 11-12 schools that I hadn’t yet touched. There was no support from the volunteer base here, no communication, which they’re volunteers. I get it. Good lord, please I get it. But I see other people in my department actually getting to work with recruiting volunteers in their assigned area and Oh!! what I wouldn’t give to have some of that same communication. So much easier. Basic questions being answered, insight as to what schools would be a good fit together. So I was going blind on most all of this and the anxiety and pressure of doing it alone and it wasn’t impossible, but the whole “work harder not smarter” thing that it was forcing me to do was making me a bit crazy.
A lot crazy in fact.
Yesterday also brought a parent meeting that I’ve been trying for three weeks to make happen in Shawnee. So I quickly made some materials for the two schools to send home in folders today, and got approval for more materials and then frantically drove there to deliver yesterday before noon.
I squeezed in an appointment with our ring designer and made a few choices there, one step closer to pulling the trigger on that which feels good.
Back to my office in Norman to get info out to the parents for the night’s event, as well as to begin organizing for next week’s event and oh wait there’s another event I need to gather info for and email requests out, and this volunteer who has slipped through the cracks needs help and and and…hells bells it’s time to go look at the wedding venue before I go to the meeting.
By the time I was on my way to meet Mark, I was about to meltdown completely. Full blown hiccup tears and forming my resignation.
“I could quit. I could quit this job and find another one. . . but I want to pay for this wedding, and I told Julie I would stay at least 2 years and I’m really close to being able to say that…and I really like the people I work with, I feel super close real life friends with several of my girls here…but I could quit this fucking job right now and not worry about waking up with a feverblister because I went to that level of stress.”
I tamped that down when we met at the venue and of course the place was perfect. PERFECT. We are still looking at the packages they have and will need to commit to a number of guests that we can afford. There’s no way I’ll be able to invite everyone. I mean, I do need to leave some room on the guest list for Mark’s people. We joke about that. But for all intents and purposes we found a venue and have settled on a date. Once it’s contract-signed official I will announce it here.
After that meeting it was time to go to the library and set up. Tables, chairs, recruitment kit, all of it. And it was just me and that task? That was about to be the straw that broke my back.
“I’ll help you,” he said.
I truly could have cried.
And so we went to the library and set up the room in record time and since I hadn’t eaten enough during the day my stress headache was getting worse by the minute so he left to get me some advil and a coke and while I was still just a bundle of anxiety that anyone would show, or that those who did show would be angry about not having a troop for their girl…
The room was PACKED. I was yelling, (because there were kids and babies crying too) and I know how to project to a room full of people. It was nuts. We walked away with *some paid memberships. MOST will join online because payday isn’t until Friday and or next week. But I got their info to do follow up. I got 6-8 adults that want to step up and form new troops. Ann came after her other meeting just in time to kind of help me wrap it up (we had to start a little early because the room was packed and people were antsy) anyways, I had help getting the room back to order and when I got home my little family was waiting on me and my favorite new tv shows were on and we had a wedding venue.
This job is rough right now. It’s been rough for almost two years. I’m not sure how long I want to live in such a high stress place in terms of employment, but nights events like last night make it worthwhile.
Days like yesterday are fierce, but good LORD it makes life easier to know that someone has my back, from big decisions about money and weddings and life to the simple things like setting up tables and chairs. That unconditional support is worth every bit of the crazy.