Tomorrow is Friday.

Where did this week go???

I’ve got tomorrow night, and the weekend to write two papers, finish A Handful of Dust, post homework for that, begin another novel and get ready for the week.

My home is a frathouse. There’s dishes in the sink. Shoes strewn everywhere. The ice trays are in the freezer. . . but they’re empty. I finally took out the recycle yesterday. But the trash is still full. And the load of laundry that I started on Monday is still in the washing machine.

It’s just one of those weeks.

It’s been a really good one, however. Lot’s of fun texting with Audra, making plans for a January George Strait concert and fun times. Work is good. I’ve had rest. I’m feeling better and not quite so stressed.

Next week is the wedding. So beginning Thursday night, I’m booked solid until the end of Saturday night.

Tuesday I take the GRE.

From the research that I’ve been getting from my GirlFriday’s, most applications will accept the scores of the tests into Jan. Which alleviates a lot of the stress. I’m going to just go in and take this one with minimal study time. Because I have yet to crack a book. Minimal is generous. I’ll go ahead and plan to take it again, and I have to take the Subject Test so I’ll get that scheduled too. It’ll be ok.

But damn if the weeks don’t fly by.

 

I need a secretary.

I need someone to go through the websites of universities, peruse their Ph.D programs in English, and print out the necessary information for applying to said programs for me.

I need about 15 of those.

I’ll apply to about 10.

The more I look at this, the more I feel as if it is an impossible task and can feel my faith slipping away.

Deadline is December 15th.

GRE Test scores for general test, which is scheduled for the taking on Oct 9th as well as the English Subject test, which I do not have scheduled, are due. Writing samples and statements of intent are included in that package.

Am I even going to be able to get this all done and submitted in time? To the best of my effort and not half-assed? Because here this past week I feel like my best effort IS half assed.

Competition is strong when it comes to getting into these programs. STRONG. I worry.

I–I just had to stop in the middle of writing this to organize another thing online. Sheesh. But that is finished. Enough. Delegated the rest to the other hostesses and am grateful to them.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah.

I need a secretary.

Come pay my bills. Fax things to insurance. Make some calls for me and arrange the details of alterations, shoe buying, gift buying. Get my car cleaned, and change the sheets on the beds. Keep the deadlines in check so that I don’t miss anything.

All of this or I need to not leave the house or campus until it’s over.

 

Koyaanisqatsi is a Hopi Indian word for unbalanced life.

Koy. Ahn. Us. Caught. See.

Life out of balance.

Today was a perfect example of that and while I was posting homework posts regarding Lady Chatterly’s Lover, that word popped into my head.

At USAO for undergrad, we had a class called Mindwalking. I remember talking it out, brainstorming the class with Ma. Ann. She was the department head as well as my mentor as well as my friend and spirit guide. There’s too much to talk about in regards to that class, but I think we’ll work on that. Maybe I can talk Cindy and Sarah into writing pieces about it too. But anyways, we watched the movie Koyaanisqatsi in that and I’ve never forgotten it. It’s mindbending.

For tonight though, for my class posting, I’ll use it as a connector to the literature. One of the running themes in this novel is intellectuality versus sexuality. For the characters it’s an all or nothing life…until it isn’t, and that opens up an entirely new can of worms for them to deal with.

It’s that way with me, too. With all of us, isn’t it? When we are too heavy on the work and not enough play, when there’s way more carbs than there is protein, when the gin takes more space than the tonic…

Koyaanisqatsi.

The novel is a good one. I’ll revisit it in my lifetime. The words published in that book were scandalous. Thereto-for unpublishable. It’s an interesting look at social class…once again it gives insight to a life with class differences and what happens when they merge…when the gap is closed. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a book to read as well.

 

Today is my one day of weekend. I slept in till about 8:30, had coffee, began putting together the things I needed for the wedding shower later in the afternoon. I Facebooked a bit with my friends, and watched CBS Sunday Morning. I took out the trash and recycle and spoke with the contractor, who is working on the rent house next door, about building a handrail on my porch before the winter season. I picked up a bit around the house, and then got ready. I met Audra to get the delicious cupcakes she made for the shower, paid her then zoomed to Target then to Emily’s where it was time to build the cheese platter and start the shower. I got to see my friends. For two hours I got to see the girls and talk and laugh. It was an event full of strange emotion and awkwardness but that is another post, too. Everyone made plans to go somewhere after, as well as set a date for a girls night next month. The whole time, in the back of my head, was a running list of things I needed to finish tonight. Homework postings. Readings. Studying for my timed writing that I’m making up from my vacay. Kitchen is a mess. Must get bridesmaid dress fitted tomorrow. Have no set time for that as the lady never called me back. Shoes for that. Invites out for another thing. Start research for paper tomorrow. Read Lit Crit before class.

 

Koyaanisqatsi.

Life Out Of Balance.

Finding a way to balance the gin with the tonic…well that’s just a measurement isn’t it?

Seeing friends more than once every 10 weeks…it’s a matter of time management.

Being wholly present in this life and recognizing when the measurements are off, when the scale is tilting and we need a little more relief to balance it out. We need some balance.

For the characters in the book…well there were lessons to be learned.

For me as well.

I don’t see a way out until it’s over.

I think that’s what Lady Chatterly thought as well.

When last we met, I was wailing at the car gods and railing at the homework gods and generally knee deep in a pity party that was attended by several Why Me’s and more than one It’s Not Fair’s.

This morning, after a good night of   after a mostly decent night of sleep, I woke up and had coffee in my gorilla mug and decided to get my car fixed.

I went out and tried to see if it would even start so that I could get to the salon.

It did.

I came in and promptly called the guy that a friend/client recommended last night. I explained it all.

The car wouldn’t start. The battery is new. It’s not holding a charge. All signs point to either a computer glitch or alternator and could I possibly bring the car in for him to check it today.

He totally blew me off and told me to go get a new battery.

Fine. Asshole. I will call someone else.

I called the place that Darci told me about. But they couldn’t look at it until tomorrow.

Pffffft. At least they were nicer.

Audra and I had been texting back and forth like fiends. She’s so good with this stuff. One of her dreams long ago was to own a chain of mechanic/car repair shops for women, run by women. It’s still a dynomite idea. I would go to that business.

On her suggestion, I took the car to O’Reilly’s Autoparts and just had them run some diagnostics on it. This is a free service and there’s a store just up from the salon and my house. I went up there and the nice man with the limp and the cane, Calvin, came from behind the desk* and helped me. The initial diagnostics were fine. No error codes being thrown. I thought that was it, but after more prodding from Audra, I went back in and asked if that checked the battery and alternator too. No, that’s another thing, so let’s go do that.

Bingo.

The battery was charging at way below normal. The alternator threw up some funky number percentages that spelled “GET IT REPLACED”

So. Then my question is: How do I do that?

Well, Calvin said, “Let’s look and see what we have in stock. If we do, I can order you one and you can buy it here and take it to a shop for installation.”

We did. He did. Perfect.

So. Then my question was: Where should I go?

Calvin directed me to a little shop up the street. This is an interesting part of the world. It’s an old neighborhood and this street is lined with business and shops that alternate between being open and being boarded up. Theres just so much old, run down dead stuff that you never notice anything living. But lo and behold, right across from the Family Dollar…there’s the shop.

I pull in and speak to a fellow and explain my plight. We make a date for 1pm when I will return with the refurbished alternator and he will put it into my car. His fee is exactly on the money as to what I’d been told it should be so as not to get ripped off. I asked for his name and number so I could call him and verify after I went and bought the part.

“Bear. Muh names Bear.”

He’s in my phone that way now.

Oh this is just looking better and better! I go home, and begin to get organized to start reading. I have to finish a novel tonight. Have to. I also decided to make a pot of soup. I bought a new cookbook on vacation and have been inspired. I also needed to update my iPhone with the new operating system. These are the things I did instead of cracking open my novel.

It’s time to take my car! I drive up and get the new/refurbished part and pay for that. Cal was just as nice as he could be.

I took it to Bear, and also asked if he would just double and triple check the hoses and belts and connections and would he fill my washer fluid up and this coolant would he put that in there too…I’ll just wait. I’ve got two hours and I can just sit here and read.

It was a dirty ole garage. That’s fine. It was a very pleasant day outside and this was totally doable.

The garage waiting area was not empty, however. A grizzled man wielding a fly swatter sat in the corner as if it were court and he were the king. I sat next to him. We talked about my car and what was going to happen to it while I was there. The talk eventually turned to the rank smell that was happening outside.

“Did you smell that when you came in?” he said.

“I did. I did smell it. That’s some pretty stinky trash.” I said.

“Oh that’s not trash. That’s flesh.”

“Flesh??!!?”

“Flesh.”

“FLESH?”-gag. herk. verp.

“Flesh. But it’s an animal. Probably back over yonder behind that house over there. Something’s rotting. I can tell the difference between human flesh and animal flesh. I used to work for a wrecker service.”

It was at this point that I pulled out my iPhone and began texting Lynn for a ride.

The King of Smells proceeded to tell me several stories of his experience with smelling human flesh. Apparently there’s a sweetness to it that one will never forget. Also, there’s a sweetness to the smell of dope.

You know. When people smoke the dope.

Yes. Yes sir, I have smelled that before.

Yes. It is a clingy smell.

“I live up there on 104th and such and such and you know, the (racial adjective redacted)’s will walk by and I can smell it. Yes. Those (racial adjective redacted)’s will be up at that quick stop and I can tell if they’ve been smoking dope.”

It was at this point that I made the judgement call to NOT read Uncle Tom’s Cabin at the garage. I just slipped it back into my little bag and waited for my ride.

SO.

Here I am.

My car is fixed. In a day. High Fives For Everyone!

Soup is on the stove.

Michael is coming over tonight to eat and watch Sons of Anarchy and scream at the tv with me.

I am going to get through Uncle Tom’s Cabin and tab my section for tomorrow’s class if it kills me.

On the bright side, if that does happen, I’m sure that Bear’s friend will be able to sniff me out before the cats eat my remains.

So. There’s that.

*when I filled out the customer service survey for the auto parts store one of the questions was “did someone come from behind the desk to help you”-I filled it out as well as phoned the manager of the store. Good customer service is a rare commodity and should be rewarded.

That whole concept of easing back into reality after a vacation is bunk. It just is. There’s no easing. There’s nothing soft and cuddly and nurturing about it. It’s a big bucket of ice cold water thrown on you while you’re in your snuggly comfy bed.

Anyone else? Anyone? Just me?

Because yesterday was one of those “I will try to eat you” days.

I’m behind in my classes. I’ve got mounds of reading to be finished by tomorrow and by Sunday. There is a paper that is to be written next week. The GRE is looming and I’ve yet to crack a study book. I’ve got to got to got to got to tie up the loose ends on the insurance stuff for the house. I did a bit before I left, but now is the time for the rest of it. Bills are piled, banking is waiting, work starts back today but only with a few clients which is good because my car is on the brink.

I left night class last night to a car that didn’t start. It was the same deal as in July. But my battery was brand new since the July episode so, that made me wary. I had a helpful guy jump it, and it started but then quit once he drove off. The campus police, 30 minutes later, arrived. It was the same guy that helped me this summer. I wasn’t sure, until he opened his mouth to ask if I had a husband/boyfriend/brother to help me with this. I’m not sure how it is a valid question since if my answer would have been ‘yes’ clearly that asshole can’t manage a car either so JUST JUMP THE CAR. Ugh.

The stereo and all the dashboard lights went wonky. The consensus seems to be alternator issues. Perhaps spark plugs? Do cars even have spark plugs anymore? It makes sense. I’ve had this car, brand new since 2007, and have never had to have any work done. I should have taken it in for tune ups, but who has that kind of money? If it’s working, it’s working! *maybe this is where the husband/boyfriend/brother would have come in handy, but I doubt it unless they were paying for it.* So I’ve got the name of a few  mechanics. I just attempted to start it and it did, so I think I can make it to the salon. I do have emergency roadside service on my insurance, so whatever happens it’ll work out.

BUT WHO HAS TIME TO DEAL WITH THIS?!?!?!

sigh.

I had such an amazing time this past week. San Diego was beautiful, even if we were in the throes of a record-breaking heat wave. The poor kids’ had planned this wedding for a year and a half, outdoors at a beautiful venue and damn if it wasn’t 104 degrees. The weather calmed down, the marriage took place, we were all still together and laughing at life. That’s the best thing about this family. My cousins and I, the thing we do best? Is laugh.

This trip was a good one on several aspects. My dad and his wife were there. She had never met any of the family and that seemed to go well. MeMe was there, and everyone seemed to get along and act like grownups. I held my breath on more than one occasion, just waiting for the shoe to drop and everything to just go to hell. It did not. Even the goodbyes were beautiful. Hugs and I love you’s abound. I myself held it together on the goodbyes…until I got on the plane and then I just hid my face and let the tears flow.

I cried not only because I was sad to leave, and just on principal hate goodbyes, but for all of the good that took place. Personally, I got to go to the San Diego Zoo. For years I’ve wanted to go. To see the koalas. To just be at that zoo. The animals were amazing.

 

https://www.facebook.com/v/4457172668865

that’s a video I tried to embed. Click on the middle of the panda to watch him go to town with that bamboo.

I wanted to see the ocean and have fish tacos and see Miramar and sing the Top Gun theme song in my head. All of these things I did. I got to soak up puppy Buster loving–grrrrr grrrrrrrr–it was awesome.

The temps did calm down and I just enjoyed the perfect weather and the palm trees. They really are quite spectacular when you look at them, really look at them.

It was perfectly perfect.

But now, now it’s time to just hunker down and get back into this fiercely paced life that I live.  There are wonderful things on the calendar coming up, wedding showers, a wedding that I’m in (note to self, make alteration appointment, find shoes) and so much stuff going on with school. Harvest Fest is looming on the horizon, and that is the thing that I’m living for. Those days in between now and then, those days will be filled of fun laughing memories of this trip and dreams of more to come.

Happy Day.

*Hunker Down is a favorite phrase of this part of my family. It’s how my dad taught all of us to water ski, or wakeboard and in turn how my cousin taught all of his friends to wakeboard. You just have to hunker down, push through the gallons of water coming at you, and eventually you will be up and on top of it all. Hunker down, yo.

It’s my last morning to wake up in San Diego. The marine layer is still covering the mountains, the coffee is nice and strong, and Steph and I are doing our morning computer time at the table while MeMe prattles on in the living room.

It’s been a wonderful, wonderful trip. We are planning Cousinpalooza for maybe next year. Giving all 7 of us time to plan, to sock back some money, and get back in the habit of gathering on a yearly basis. I’m all in for that. All. In.

Today is just kind of a laid back day, we’re going to get ready and go to Old Town, putz around do a little shopping, go put my feet into the water and walk around on the beach. I don’t have to be at the airport until 3pm, so we’ve got a little bit of time. We’re eating sushi today for lunch. This makes me ril ril happy. I’ve pretty much checked off all of my list of things to see, do and taste.

I’m beginning to transition into reality mode. I’ve downloaded my next book for class, to read on the plane. I’ve begun to mentally prepare for class tomorrow, for the things that need to be finished in regards to bill paying, insurance stuff, bla bla bla. Reality Bites.

This break, however, has been bliss. I love hanging out with my family. We laugh. So much laughing.

Not a bad way to live.

I’m getting my post up for class last week, a few days late. I talked to my prof, though and he said it’s ok. Last week was A Passage To India. Have you read this?

It’s one that I am most def going to put on my shelf, and grab when I’m not under such crazyass time restrictions. I’ve always been interested in India, in the culture and in the people.

This is the story of two friends, and Englishman and an Indian man, and we take a look at the question that begins the book which is, “can these two people be friends, considering the culture differences, the political clashes, the caste system, considering all of that, can they be friends?”

I’m going to leave it to you to answer that question.

In a sidenote, my H.S. English teacher, who was an amazing tour guide this weekend, highly recommends the movie that was made based on the book. Put it in your Netflix queue.

Next up for class?

Lady Chatterly’s Lover.

I will fit in a little more with the 50 Shades of Grey plane readers on this flight. The last time, I was reading an overview of Literary Criticism while the lady next to me was getting into the first in the series.

The wedding is a memory, a really hot memory, but a memory nonetheless. The kids are married. All growns up and married. Sigh. look how gorgeous…

 

Yesterday Bill and Rita toured me all over this fine city, I will post some pics of that later tonight. We are getting ready to head to the San Diego Zoo and people, I couldn’t be more excited.

I love the koalas. I have for as long as I can remember. I collected them/still have many and used to watch the zoo folk on the Johnny Carson show when I was little and just dreamed dreamed dreamed of someday coming to see them.

That day is here.

Yeah, I’m 41 and giddy about the zoo.

KOALAS!!!!!

Taking a cue from Cindy, I’m doing a Thankful Friday post today.

I made it to San Diego yesterday with zero problems. Not even any motion-sickness which is just a joy when it comes to me and any kind of movement. I was met at the airport by Stephie and my new cousin to be, Toni.

We headed straight to the salon to get our nails done. *Shellac is cool ya’ll! This grey/blue color is also cool.* The nail tech asked how long we’d known each other and we laughed and said, “Oh about twenty minutes, in real life” and she was very confused.

Bless her heart.

It’s another relationship cultivated over the interwebs.

You guys, she’s so stinkin cute. And to see her with my cousin Patrick…oh lord. I could cry. I’ve held it together like a trooper in the emotion category, but let’s be realistic. I’ve not even been here a full day. It’ll happen.

Rehearsal dinner was so good last night, about 30 people, all gathered with the same intention in their heart, to celebrate Patrick and Toni, combined with laughter, wine, delicious food, some manic photo op’s and OH MAN, my heart was full.

Steph, Jerome and I posted up at the end of a table and we talked and talked. Missing my sister, and our Texas cousins in a real, real way, we talked of “Cousin Trips” and how it’s just so fun when we’re together. I said, “I love being grownup together! I had no idea it would be this fun!”

How great is it to be with family, and love them with your whole heart?

When you add in the bonus of actually really really liking them and having them as a real friend in your life…

Listening to my dad and aunt talk about their cousins, the ones we all used to reunion with every summer when they were probably the age us “kids” are today, I saw how easy it is to get fractured, to let a connection like that dissolve. Life moves fast, change comes in the form of different jobs, living locations, children and grandchildren. It’s easy to take for granted that it will always be the way it was.

It takes work.

This morning, as we are all getting around, and having our coffee, and adjusting to the time zones, (I from the Central, Jerome from the Brooklyn)  I am thankful for this gorgeous beautiful place that I’m in. I am thankful. I am thankful for family. I am thankful for friends. I am thankful that for me, right now, those are one in the same.

I leave you with a recipe for MeMe’s Grape Salad.

This. This is how we roll upinhere, yo.

Grape Salad.

green grapes -2lb-cut up or small

purple grapes-2lb-cut up or small

8oz  creme cheese

8oz sour creme

healthy half a cup of good brown sugar.

Slurry all together and be thankful for your tastebuds.

Happy Thankful Friday!

 

it’s 11:30.

I’m I think packed. i think.

I think I packed too much. because there is very little room to bring anything back.

I’m taking my homework with me.

I made great progress writing my abstract for the literary conference.

I had a great meeting with my lit crit professor and he helped me to narrow down the topics for my paper that is rapidly coming due.

I got to spend some time watching awesome tv with my awesome friend. It did my heart good.

My house is not going to be the cleanest when I leave, that sucks for my housesitter and for my brain. . . but there’s still time. it may get done.

also, at some point in the packing process I began to just start wearing all of the things. I sat down to watch some Friends and go over my list and noticed that I’m wearing a goodly amount of jewelry and my sunglasses.

inside my house.

at 11:30 pm.

 

thank God I’m going on vacation tomorrow.