THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU TO MY FAMILY/LANDSCAPING ENGINERS!!!

You guys…they tore the living shit out of my yard yesterday! Both dads, brother and sister got busy and tore the SHIT out of my yards. Front and back! I am going to take pictures, and hopefully buy a little thingy to upload onto the computer today or tomorrow. I have a wall of bundled branch and tree firch out in my front yard. Tomorrow is Big Trash Day and I have an uneasy feeling about them taking all of it. I have two huge piles of branches from my big sycamore in the front that isn’t bundled. I’m just going to see what goes with the trash, then find someone to pay to haul the rest of it off. My neighborhood will ticket me for having it out there so it’s all hinging on the big trash guys. I plan to listen for them and go outside and plead. braless. eh…cant hurt. they aren’t that bad yet.

Wonderboy and BabyFatHead are delicious. I can’t wait for summer vacation. We are going to swim and go to the Omniplex and do all kinds of fun fun stuff…and hopefully it will quit raining here so that I can put my yards back together and make it pretty again!

I am filming that short movie this afternoon. My client/friend is directing. I say “no” about three times and a “see ya tomorrow” then I’m done. I’m excited…and kind of wishing I had not signed up for it because of the work to be done here. However…it’s so wet and muddy that I really need to leave it all alone and tackle it tomorrow.

how has your weekend been?

Long day.
Tired of standing.
Family arrives.
Dad at my house in living room on his computer.
Me in the office on mine.
Me likey.
Shrub and tree removal tomorrow.
Steak and cold beer tonight. Enough steak. I could have had about three more beers.
Now…to the sleepy.

Heard from the redhead when he landed. He and The Vegan are hitting some open mic’s in Gotham tonight. 11 dollars a minute one has to shell out. Canna wait for these stories!

MGirl is feeling a little blue tonight but is going to Shoop it up with the rest of the singing gang. Gert and Joe are MIA as far as I know this weekend. Kids? where are ya? Hope you’re having fun. Kizz got a big pile of steaming crap in the mail today. Go give her some lovin, why dontcha. Chrome is lighter this week. and has a bit of weight on her shoulders as well. I’ve missed some phone calls…give her some shiny shiny if you have an extra minute. and my boys at 796 are posting somewhat regularly. Here. have a cookielookie.

that’s it from me.

Got home after a really really long day yesterday to frantically pick up the house, before the family arrives. I mean, it’s not bad. I’ve actually done really really well at keeping things going during the week. One of my friends commented a few weeks ago, “if you’d do your chores during the week you could relax on your days off”

Huh.
That’s novel.

So I’ve been trying. I still need to dyson the carpets but that’s about it. finished the kitchen…the trash situation is becoming apocolyptic. Nope. Didn’t make it in time this week. My plan for the weekend is to use the two recycle dumpsters that are no longer in service because my neigborhood doesn’t pick up recycle anymore due to the economy, and then pull all four dumpsters out to the curb and wake up early wednesday morning and verbally talk the trash guys into emptying all of them. They won’t touch the recycle…anyways. that’s my plan.

I woke up at 2:30 this morning to tinkle, then realized i had not plugged in my cell phone as I do every single night. I went searching the house. Nope. Put on some clothes and got the keys and went to the car…yep. so if you called. i haven’t even looked. I just stumbled back and plugged it in and back to the bed. I’m a nervous nellie about that phone so I cannot believe I left it in the car.

I ended up missing second commission by THREE DOLLARS. yesterday. and I called people. I text people. Eyebrow Wax anyone? but you know what? it’s ok. I made the first one. I made my product commission…yesterday I was at 14% when only 10% was needed…so it’ll be fine.

The Redhead is in NYC this weekend. Probably on his plane right now. Weekend trip to see The Vegan and AbbyNormal. It’s his first trip. I have a very special affinity for anyone taking their first trip to that fair city. I sent with him this book to read. Remember folks…it’s what saved me the last time I flew!

My family arrives today! I’m really super excited. My B-I-L has been researching ways to remove shrubbery and I’m pretty sure he’s gonna get things done around here this weekend. He really is a treasure of a man. I hardly talk about him but I’m so blessed he is in my life. He’s such a funny guy, and works his fool ass right off, and never settles and is always making things better for his family, for my family. He rocks. I’m happy for facetime this weekend. Hopefully they can help with my gazebo crisis…it’s needing some luvin. with a capital L!

So what else folks? Haven’t heard much from the future the last few days. Guess the worlds’ still moving out there or we’d have gotten some info! I’ve been blissfully ignorant of the swine flu epidemic because since I moved the computer to the office, I’m back here and not in front of the telly. didn’t even turn it on last night. laid on my couch and read a book. very civilized. and somewhat Amish.

My director of the movie I’m in on Sunday is a client. Did I tell you guys that? An amazing one. anyways, he said he might could fix my iBook so I’m taking it with me to the shoot on Sunday and leaving it with him…hopefully! I don’t really NEED to working computers, but I’d like my stuff off of that ole gal.

Doo da doo…what else? That might be it from here. B…I want you to know that I’ve been VERY SUCCESSFUL at my Mary Kay regimine. Morning AND nights. and honey…i think some of that sandpaper wrinkly crap is going away!!!! HUZZUAH!!! (this portion of the blog brought to you by the Timewise line of Mary Kay Cosmetics…Pink never looked so good!)

Im done today. Gonna have some more coffee. Head over the the Facebook universe then get ready. It’s potluck today for Cinco De Mayo. Don’t ask me why we’re having it on MAY FIRST…

HOLY FREAKIN SHIT IT’S MAY FIRST?!?!?!?! YOU GUYS!!! May. May first. Sweet monkey it goes fast does it not? ok. so we’re doing a mexican themed potluck and i”m so over it that I did nothing. I”m going to see what shows up this mornign then hit the grocery to buy additions. I don’t even want that because we just eat eat eat all day long. and I have SOME appointments today but not a ton so that means FREE TIME!!! I gotta find another book to take and read.
anyone ever read this one

and for licks and giggles…

I haven’t been so emotionally unstable since I was a teenager on birth control drinking Barcadi and lime slushes from Sonic, driving around with Gert wondering where in THE HELL Bobby Hathaway disappeared to.

I cannot possibly tell you, type to you, and be EMPHATIC enough to get this across.

Monday night I was soooo not happy. Tuesday ALL DAY I was a down-faced-fun-hater.

Today, I’m so good. Seriously, I’m good. It is what it is. I’ve said my piece. Pieces because I never know when to shut the hell up. I can never just walk away with the last HARRUMPH. Oh God no. I have to go back. and say a little more. and poke a little here. and prod a little there. I mean, seriously Zelda…did we take nothing from Kenny Rogers?

Know when to hold ’em.
Know when to fold ’em.
Know when to walk away.
Know when to run.

SO anyways. I’m feeling ok today. I had some good work. Some good clients. Sold some products so that I’m pretty sure I’m at my 10 percent to actually see money from them. Tomorrow is the last day in the pay period and I have clients mostly throughout the day.

My family is arriving this weekend to de-tree and de-bush (dirty! wait. talking about family. now that’s just gross) my landscaping. I get to see the Wonderboy and Wonderbaby and the Wonderfamily. I’m getting off work early on Saturday to try to pitch in as best I can. I want to entertain at my house this summer. You’re all invited!!! and the making it pretty is the first step. So I’m happy about that.

Sunday I get to be in a movie! Yep. Dale and the Laughing Turtle. It’s a client of mine, groovy movie boy who I just KNOW will be a blast to work for. I have about three lines, but WAHOO! Fun, eh? you betcha. fun fun fun.

So ya see…today I’m good. I got some funny emails from the future today. He told me my eyes were pretty. Have I explained that FutureMan actually is an old friend who lives in a time zone 13 hours into tomorrow? No? ok. well that’s what that means.

Ok yes, he was drunk but what the hell. When a man who is already ass deep in tomorrow gives a compliment this means a few things.

Today is NOT your last day. (he’s already tomorrow)
Someone thinks you are pretty

.

I don’t care what day you’re living in…that just feels good.

I love this space/time thing we have going on. It’s fun. and it’s soothing. and I like it.

pretty eyes.
on my first trip to NYC, we got to watch a taping of the CBS Morning Show and Mark McEwin said I had pretty eyes. I wore that line out so much for the rest of the trip I thought Chrome was gonna shove a high heel into my throat.

still. it’s nice to hear.
from tomorrow.

So from today…I say I’m good. Thanks for riding the merry go round with me. For the last year it’s been, “Look kids! Big Ben! Parliment!” so I know it’s bound to have gotten so old it’s moldy. But I’m done. Packing that shit up and tossing it into my cauldron.

“Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.”

Got anything you wanna toss in?

I have successfully forgotten to put my trash bins out to the curb for pickup…going on possibly 4 weeks now. I have two of them…and it’s just me and not a lot of trash…however I needed them empty for the Great Tree/Shrub Removal that is set to happen at my house this week. GAK! I ran one out to the curb this morning in the pouring down…POURING DOWN rain. Usually I hear the trucks come by and since I went to bed at 9pm last night I was awake early and haven’t heard anything…but we’ll see.

I mean what the hell Zelda?

Thanks for your support and sharp sticks and threats of violence in my last post. Well, the threats of violence came in form of email and came from the future, but he knew it was just what I needed. I’m ok. Isn’t the difference a day makes amazing?

Continiously amazed at this life.

my cats have lost their minds. Sammy is trying to eat the futon legs. Stormy wants lovin loving lovin. Oh wait. Sammy is not trying to climb the sliding glass patio door in order to chase the raindrops. Special Bus anyone??? Maybe he’s been over to the hippies house and had a brownie or two…his pupils are HUGE! I know he goes over there because he comes home smelling of patchouli. Perhaps the single WORST SCENT in the universe. Gert looked at me one time at the bookshop after a particularly odifirious client left and said, “if you ever had smelled like that we would have never been friends.” to which I replied “fuckin-a right sister”

anyways. Didn’t go to happy hour with MGirl last night. I owe her a wingman night really soon…I did however come home and take a three hour nap. Grilled some tequilia lime chicken, then took myself to the bed again at 9. Is sleep a sign of depression? or just from being tired. Whatever the case, I don’t feel either this morning so that’s just awesome blossom.

what’s next?

amazing.
amazed.
I am amazed.
at how wrong I can get it sometimes…impressions and judges of character…Man. When I get it wrong, I fucking get it WRONG!!! I’m amazed, at how quickly I make things important…like friendships…when really they are more like acquaintences…business relationships…

See. I thought…

and I thought wrong. And being treated…so blatently ingored. Well, that’s not what friends do. Friends say hi. Friends make an effort. and not out of guilt. and not with some preemptive gesture the day before. This has happened before with some sort of “I’m sorry but this is how I handle situations that make me uncomfortable” bullshit. And I said, “no problem there friend! We all have our quirks. Don’t hurt me again.” And we went merrily along and I thought…I thought it mattered. I thought it was genuine and real.

but wrong I was.
wrong I am.
so be it.

The real friendships in my life…I know who they are. This one won’t fool me again. Because I may be wrong. A lot.
But I’m rarely stupid twice.

How was your Monday? Good? Busy? Hard to get going? Yeah…mine too. I didn’t go out last night as usual. Was feeling like I needed to just be still. Went to bed early and we were having some gorgeous thunderstorms here. There was some nasty tornados out east, and a friend’s family was in the path. Property and cattle damage, but as far as I know, no one was hurt. I’ve had the house opened, the fans blowing. Gorgeous. It rained today, and am sitting here in a sweatshirt, once again!

SO…remember me telling you about my friend who lives in the future? He does. He lives thirteen hours in the future. In Taiwan. We knew each other in high school, barely but have become better acquainted through the Facebook. Today, we instant messaged for FIVE HOURS. He helped me go through my computer and clean out a bunch of stuff, detail by detail. It was awesome. I got rid of a bunch of stuff I didn’t need. Freed up some space on the ole gal. Things are moving a bit more fluid now, so thanks to him! but hells bells! FIVE HOURS!?!?!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT?

My hiney was kinda hurting by the time we signed off. It was dawn at his house, and time for him to sleep. Vampire? eh. I like the pointy teeth. whatever. I had to go to the grocery store for a few tiny provisions. Cat food. Toilet paper. Coffee. a Kashi pizza that tasted like ground up lips and assholes. I got that done. I did vacuum and make my bed and do a load of dishes. Not a completely wasted day off.

Tonight is COMEDY!!!!!! Sing with me kids! Tragedy tomorrow COMEDY TONIGHT~!!! Here’s the site for my boys. They’ve got it all sparkly and spiffy. I heart these guys. Truly madly deeply. Listen to their podcasting, as they throw around some of the funny. Anyways, tonight is a big show, with new talent that includes improv. I’m happy for that. I’m not fucking participating, but I’m happy for it!

Tomorrow night is happy hour with MGirl and maybe a few others from work. Checking out a new spot with some local music. Other than that…I got nuthin planned for the rest of the week. My goal is to get my fatty boomba-latty ass to the YMCA. Get signed up. Look poor so that I can not pay the joining fee. Get on the horse and ride it to fame and fortune. or at least to some smokin hot sex. with this guy.

Who am I kidding? I’ll practice with anybody*

*and by anybody I mean a select few**
**and by select few I mean men who have teeth and bathe***
***and by have teeth and bathe I mean….have teeth and bathe. yeah. that’s a deal breaker.

Huzzah and Halakaleem!!!

Last night was B’s birthday surprise gathering. We laughed. We laughed more. We laughed even harder. She’s a blessing and made me happy just being with her! It was around one thirty in the a.m. when I rolled home, only to take a few hours nap before waking to meet M’Lynn and cheer on our marathon runners!

Today was the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon, which has grown in size every single year. I think this year some nineteen thousand participants were running! We each had cardboard cutouts and American flags to wave. We screamed and woo hoo’d and shouted encouragements and thank yous for about three hours. M’Lynn was holding Paris Hilton and TONS of male runners came up to kiss her, to swat her no no place,(Paris’ not M’Lynns!) which we found terribly odd, but whatever get’s ya to the finish, right? I was holding up John Wayne! I got a lot of shout outs and one lady came up and kissed him! Just goes to prove, put anyone on a corner for long enough and they’ll see some action! and the forecast was crazy thunderstorms and hail starting about 6 this morning! NUTHIN! overcast, nice breeze. pretty humid for the runners, but still, could have been worse!

You guys, it was amazing. I am so touched, this is my second year to do this. Last year on this day…I moved to Andover Court. Into my own house. A year ago on marathon day. Wow, right? But today, the paraplegics in their crazy bike things, the blind guy being led by his friend, the faces full of determination and pain and triumph and amazement and upon seeing our corner of crazy…joy and laughter! There was one dude walk/running with a Coors Light in his hand! THAT GUY TOTALLY GET’S IT, RIGHT? I love this city. I just do.

Next year, we’re stringing flags in the trees, we’re making music and taking a cd player, I’m on the lookout for a Cloony cutout. I mean hells bells, I need that in my life anyways, right? from what I can tell, it doesn’t exist though. Gak. Eyes peeled people. Eyes peeled.

When the clock struck six ass crack this morning, I thought there is NO WAY I’m doing this. But hey…we all do things every single day that we think we cannot do. I watched nineteen thousand people do it today. Amazing.

Came home after post-marathon breakfast with M’Lynn and the redhead came over and did a major overhaul on my backyard. (dirty!)

no, just mowed the grass and got the weedeater out. I picked up all the firtch and stuff, it’s looking better! Almost time for party season!

now…I’m a tired! and still stinky so to the shower with me. Happy Sunday!

IT’S B’S BIRTHDAY!!!!
Oh my darling girl. What a gift you are to me, to Ringo, to everyone you come into contact with! Infectious smile and laugh that make us all feel special. I hope your day is fabulous. That your weekend rocks and that you know, KNOW how much we all LOVE LOVE LOVE and adore you!!!

Happy Birthday my SoulSister!!!

man, I just think we all ought to get a free day.
the day sans censor.
no boundries, no limits, just whatever you feel like saying at the exact moment you want to say it.

But Zelda, you’re thinking, you ALREADY DO THAT EVERY SIGNLE DAY!

Not today I didn’t.

I just finished a client, she’s not really mine. She’s a ritzy schmantzy shiny shiny snotty old lady that lives in The Hills and comes in to get her hair shampooed and blown out before any events. I’ve had her in my chair before. Whatev. The conversation today was about this wedding she’s been to last weekend. Her best friends’ daughter’s wedding. It was just so HAPPY!!! The bride, well she was just so so so happy!

Aren’t ALL brides supposed to be happy? I mean, the ones who didn’t get traded for a mule and a handfull of leggos? Those brides, ehhh. Happy schmappy. But Tulsa brides, I”m just gonna suggest, are probably all happy.

WELL, says my client, her husband was just so happy too, and she’s just about as big as a barn, and he’s not fat at all and HE LOVES HER ANYWAY.

MY HAND TO GOD THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

he loves her anyway.

She continues to say that the girl, who is bigger than she and I put together, was just pretty in the face, not exceptionally pretty but just so happy that it didn’t matter. She mentioned her weight exactly six more times. I counted. It was all I could do to not burn the everloving FUCK out of her head. (there’s that language again, Anon…(comments from yesterdays post) I finished her hair and turned her around to show her and she said, Oh my, that was really fast!

because if I have to hear one more utterance out of that mouth of yours, I may, just may not get my weekend. I’ll be in jail.

OH MY GOD AND SHE’S GOT TWO BOYS! THIS IS WHERE IT COMES FROM!!!

I hope she gets an allergy what that requires massive doses of steriods to controll it and she blows up like a blowfish.

If I had that wish, I may not need the free day to say anything…

what’s your wish?