It’s time for a sacrifice people. I have one appointment on my book today. And it’s Bonusmom.

I need some customers!!

Pool your magical joo jooo together and send it my way…please.

Tonight begins the first of our five show run. I have friends coming tonight, so that makes it extra fun!

Off to the bank, then to…sit. and pray for customers!

Yeah, I got nuthin in respect to foolin’ ya, just cannot believe it’s April already. How are you guys??? I have been so remiss in writing, and when I write it’s of nothing important…but whatever, right?

It’s a gorgeous morning here in the Plains. Windy as shit, but beautiful sunshine. Today 72. Tomorrow however??? the high is 49. I swear. Crazy. We have shows tomorrow thru Sunday. Two on Friday. It should be a fabulous week. Sunday night I’m going to see my friends in a production of True West. I am packing in the culture, kids! To the brim!

So Monday, I went to audition for a movie. I did. Joe was helping with the open call aspect of it and turns out…I’d already met the producers. Yeah. About two weeks ago, I walk into a local watering hole to pick up the brackets for March Maddness. I had just finished our first dress rehearsal, I had crazy wig hair, I was fired up to get to the Speakeasy to see…well hindsight on that, right? right. But I walk in and my PseudoSis 1 is there talking to this table of guys. I go over and as I approach, THEY ALL STOOD UP. no shit. I looked at them and immediatly professed my true love to them all. we chatted a bit, and look. I was a smartass. I know I was. I kind of believed them about this whole movie gig, and one of the guys rolled out his story about being the First Male Supermodel…I said yeah ok. well done, dude. well done. He then says somethinga bout being friends with Fabio so I say, I don’t care for your friend because he got into an altercation with my boyfriend GerogeClooney. Well kids. It was a true story. He re-tells the whole story about Clooney (he kept calling him Clooney. Like Madonna. Cher. Clooney.) and Fabio. I’m still kind of whatever-ing them in my head and was about to jet off when they mentioned something about movie business here in the Plains, and I said my friend Joe works bla bla bla, they had taken a meeting with him THAT DAY. By this time I’m outta there and just laughing wahtever.

But I called Joe the next day and said, hey…is it possible that I totally blew off a table full of producers that I could possibly be auditioning for in the near future?

Yes. Yes you did.

So I get to the audition, and I don’t see any of those guys. WHEW!!! Excaped humiliation…until…shit. shit shit shit. There’s the guy. he looked at me, and I looked at him and he started to smile and said, “I TOLD you it was real! You didn’t believe me!!!”

we bantered back and forth and it parlayed into me reading for a much bigger role and chatting with the other fellas from the table who strolled in…I said, next time guys, I’ll buy YOU a beer and promise I won’t talk to you like your assholes. They just laughed. They said they really liked me and would have me back to read again! HA!!!

Who knows where this will lead, but it was a seriously fun day, and just reinforces how fun life can be. Joe was proud of me I think, it was a calming reassurance to have him there.

I need more coffee. have a great hump day. Hump something…and smile! Beware of April Foolers. Oh and it’s payday!!! Halakaleems all around!

I went off the radar a bit this week. Chrome, I first want to just tell you how proud I am of what’s going on with the biking. Bravo. I’ll email you later about donating and what not!

Gert came home for the weekend. I’m dogsitting Wylie Coyote. He’s such a good good dog. Stays in the spare room while I’m gone. Sniffs and lays around when I’m here. Goes pee and poop in the back yard and comes right back inside, no chasinga no screaming.

The cats however? They all three are sleeping on top of me, so curled up and away from the monster it’s not even funnny. They’ll get over it. It’s nicer here today, so they need some outside time anyway.

I’m going to church this morning, then hopefully meeting the gang for brunch and some quality facetime. After the week it’s been, for all of us, we need to re-fill on each other and get geared up for what’s ahead!

Thanks to all of you for the emails and the facebook’s. So much love and support from across the miles…it does not go unnoticed. MUAH!!! I love you!

I’ve been musing on this movie this week. It’s been quite the tumultuous week, starting Monday and finishing with a conversation yesterday afternoon. I am ok. And I’m wishy washy on how much of this I’d like to talk about here, and the final decision is not much.

I had the most raw, revealing conversation of all conversations with someone, and I said every single word that was in my heart. Every single thought I’d ever had concerning them, concerning us. I said it. I unzipped and poured. And it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. And I have hurt in places that I didn’t know exist. But I had to hear, I had to know from that side…”this will never work out.” and he said it. and suddenly…release.

I was afraid that I’d feel worse today, after the final conversation last night. . . but turns out I’m ok. I’m ok. If I died tomorrow, tonight, before this post was finished, I could go knowing that he knew without a doubt, one hundred percent how I felt about him.

And we can’t choose who we feel for and who we don’t. And it’s no ones fault that he doesn’t riciprocate. It’s just not there. There’s just nothing there. And I had to hear it. And now….now…we move on.

So…I”m ok.

We are having a shitstorm of some weather here today. 100% chance of a fucking blizzard. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?! I am hoping that OKC will escape the worst of it, and just get a grazing. I need my book today and tomorrow to show up and people do NOT show up during snow. We here in OKC, we stay inside. And eat. Gak. Also, I”m hoping it doesn’t kill our audiences. Last night’s pickup rehearsal was like a high school reunion. We were all SO HAPPY to be together again, and the show for the most part just flowed. We’re excited and ready!

I’m sorry to just dump bits and pieces and say that’s all your getting. But it is what it is. I do want you to know that while this has been the worst of weeks…it’s also been the best of weeks. But with a little help from my friends…I’ve dog paddled to the sand and hung on for dear life. and guess what? Standing there on that sand waiting to help me get back on my feet again?

gotta big snow storm coming tomorrow. 1=3 inches starting tomorrow ending saturday morning. the worst of it will be in the panhandle. Gak! I hope it won’t keep people away from the show. We got a semi crap review in the Gazette…but a good one at http://www.newsok.com so that is nice. whatever. I’d just like people to come see the thing.
we have a pickup rehearsal tonight at 6:30, full dress with archive photos but it’ll be good to get back into it. I have a fairly light day at this point, so I’ll use it to refresh the lines and memory and then get on with it.

Gert moved down south yesterday! I got a text last night, dinner was croutons, thin mints and diet coke while she watched the cable guy sweat it out on his first job installing her stuff! HA!!! She’s on her way. I could NOT be more proud.

Yesterday was a friends birthday. I flamingo’d his yard. I’d had this planned for months and months, and was more excited about it than apparently he was. Note to anyone out there who get’s something a little off the wall and wonky for your birthday from a friend….FUCKING SAY THANK YOU.

boys are stupid. excluding the three of you that regularly read here. you are not stupid. you are brilliant and delicious and I love you.

Guess who else I love? THAT’S RIGHT! THIS GUY!!!

I may have uttered some derogatory words about him on Monday night. It was a fit of hysteria. Everything I said I take back. Everything. He really is the only constant…Slurp.

Oy with the weather already. and by OY I mean DAMNIT!!! Supposed to be finished with this crap. but we’ve got ourselves a “cold snap” moving thru and seriously, freezing in the 30’s on friday and saturday with chances of snow.

I am OFFICIALLY OVER IT if anyone cares.

Got some facetime with Gert last night. She leaves for Texas to become a Fighting Farmer tomorrow. We didn’t get the whole talk talk talk, but the smiles, the jokes, the sharing of the same oxygen…all soul feeding things. Then at the end, my switch got flipped. and the tears started popping out and we made Sally Field look downright tame in the middle of the Speakeasy!!! sigh. why not, right? life is too short to not say what you feel. . . to not risk for a chance at happiness. it’s just too short.

I’m eyes swolled, coffee gulping getting ready for the day. I have a perm at 9 a.m.!!! God Bless The Permanent Wave.

I slept for twelve hours.
solid.
I don’t even think I woke up to pee.
Sex with George could not have felt better.

my hand to God, on that one.

Thus far I’ve done some laundry, emptied and loaded the dishwasher and swiped down the kitchen. made files and filled them with bills to go into the file cabinet. watched some March Madness…OSU almost pulled it off, it was a great game. I took Pitt to the final four so I was kind of glad of the outcome. My brackets are at the salon, so I have NO idea how I’m doing but it’s fun to watch anyway. I haven’t showered and have eaten the best bacon cheeseburger with pepperjack cheese in the history of the world. Caught the last ten minutes of Michael Clayton on HBO…

Sunday happy Sunday.

I’d forgotten just exactly HOW nervous I get before opening a show. Holy batshit! whew! Glad we’ve got one under our belt, though. Last night went well. I had many many many friends in the audience, most of the salon, Mgirl, Mandrea and company, my new theatre friends, GirlKris and co. the redhead…all there. And though I threatened them with torture and certain death if they laughed at my costumes, I heard many a silent snicker at each entrance! Oh well. That’s all I could really ask for.

The show itself was a liiiiiiiiiiiittle wonky. For the most part we hit all the right notes. Some of them a few times in a scene, loop de loop and around again, some of them we just skipped all together. But we got through it and are ready for tonight. Elephantsoap and Numskullery are coming tonight! Wahoooo! Delbert and possibly some friends from the class of 89 are coming as well.

I’m so glad I don’t have to go in until 10 today, and I think I can leave around 4:15. I feel like a whole new person after some sleep but I know I’ll need a little brain time before tonight. Tomorrow is church and CHILLING OUT!!! I need to aknowledge this house and it’s contents which I have NOT done in the last week or so. But other than that…I got nuthin planned. Maybe I’ll try to eat a vegetable.

Happy Weekend everybody.

Can you believe it’s here? Opening Night!!! Seems like I’ve been kvetching about this for a year, doesn’t it? Thanks for listening, by the way…last night we had about forty or so in the audience. Final dress went well, they were engaged and responsive and it was nice to have that feedback. Tonight should be a packed house.

My girls from the salon are coming tonight. and the redhead…tons of support. A girl couldn’t ask for more.

I’m up at the ass crack, gulping coffee, must be at meeting at 8 to discuss book I have only read about ohhmmmmmmmm five pages of. I’ll fake it till I make it. Ma and Roger used to say, when you’re in a situation like that, or taking a test or whatever, tell what you know. it may not be what was asked…but it’s an answer of some sort!

my cats are pissed. literally. I walked into my house last night and GOD BLESS AMERICA what is that smell??? pee pee. somewhere. I think I’ve been remiss on the litter box cleaning. I’m sure it’s Kikimama. She’s the only diva in the house. The boys just leave and go outside. Soooooo, I tried to get stuff cleaned up, sprinkled some baking soda around and it’s better. Sunday will be air this shit out day…after I awake from my coma.

Ok. so I have to get clean and start to read some of that book. Thanks for the texts yesterday (Bonusmom!) and the emails…I really am the luckiest girl in the whole wide world to have such people as you…

and him.

So it’s been a busy week. Lots of stuff going on. Gert became an Aunt! Welcome to the club sister…it’s a fabulous place to be! I closed on my re-fi yesterday morning!!! So many thanks to Kath and Co…they were amazing and encouraging and I just went in and signed and signed and re-signed and signed some more. I’m lowering my interest by over a point and a half. This whole process did not turn out like I thought it would, but every little bit helps and I’m thankful for good friends like them, who worked me through the process.

MUAH to you!!!

I think we’re ready for an audience. We are really fine tuning and tweaking bits and pieces of the show, we are all ready for that extra addition that an audience brings. Yesterday I was pretty much on edge, I could feel the meltdowns around the corner…it’s par for the course. The emotion of the material, the exhaustion, the other bits of life on top of that…it’s a precarious position. But so far, so good. Mgirl is keeping watch out of the corner of her eye, ready to pick up pieces when they fall. The Redhead worked some Princess Bride watching into the meltdown that was sure to come after rehearsal last night, and it worked out. So far so good…

we have an early morning meeting tomorrow. have to be there at 8 am having read the first bit of our do better book. I haven’t cracked it open yet. I have some appointments today, which is good, and I will read in between. . .

that’s about all I’ve got. Go see Gert’s neice. She’s gorgeous!