NaBloPoMo-Day One

November is National Blog Posting Month…NaBloPoMo for short. One blog post once a day for every day of the month.

I’ve done this before, several times in fact.

It seems lately that I’ve just quit writing. Life has become so busy and frenzied that I have carved out zero time here, other than a post or two a month. I’ve even given very serious thought to taking down the site altogether.

“There’s really nothing you’re writing about that’s interesting/of use/important”

“You never really put any work into your blog by promoting it, or participating with other blogs”

“The blogs you read have dwindled down to two, maybe three, who cares if you have one to link to”

 

All of these things I’ve mulled over. Given some thought to.

Then I decided maybe I was just lazy. And I don’t care about traffic on my site. I have never done anything to make it a high traffic place. I don’t have a facebook page for it, or participate with Oklahoma Women Bloggers like I wish I did. I always want to be that kind of reader who reads millions of blogs, the famous ones, the ones of my friends, ALL the LTYM blogs, but I’m not. I haven’t been in the past, let’s say. But that can change now. Life is different, and while it’s still just stupid busy, there’s no good reason I can truly find to stop living in this creative space that I carved out for myself so many years ago.

I have new blogging friends now. Minivan Momma for one.  Mari’s Virtual Notebook for another.  My new favorite friend what I’ve never met in real life Suburban Scrawl  and of course my new guru and fabulous leader and creator of LTYM, Ann’s Rants. 

Heather and Mari have started Oklahoma Women Bloggers and I am excited to really become an engaged member of that community. Listen To Your Mother has opened doors both virtual and real that I want to walk through.

So, long story short, I’ve decided to use the month of November (one of my favorite months) and the NaBloPoMo as a jumpstart back into writing. There are some things I want to join in on. Ann has started a meme #whereilivedwednesdays that I think I could really get behind. Heather has Thankful Thursdays, leading up to Thanksgiving and I’ve dabbled in that a bit but not as much as I want. So there are things I want to do here, maybe revamp how I use this space. Maybe use it more than just an emotion dumping ground/diary. Whatever it turns into, first there must be words.

And words there will be.

One post a month.

Every day of November.

I’m in.

 

NaBloPoMo November 2013

Time To Fly

For those of you that have been steady readers here at all things Ridiculous, you know that the last few years have been chock full of change for me. Personally, getting out of a toxic relationship with an alcoholic, moving to the Frontier, buying my own house, dealing with said house, deciding on That Grad School Thing, the plan for That Grad School Thing, the falling apart of That Grad School thing and the realization that what I thought I wanted…I did not. The understanding that my reasons for pursuing these goals, were no longer the driving force in my life. Finding a partner to share my life with. All of these things…

All of these things have been a portion of my journey, my quest as it were, to find the place where I can be of use in this world. There has been much gnashing of the teeth and pulling of the hair. But in the final analysis, I realized that I was searching for a particular place. I thought it might be a classroom…the traditional classroom that resides inside a school with a chalk board (dry erase/smart board/whatever) and a teachers lounge. I have discovered that I was thinking too small.

I began to really meditate on this place, and what I would do in it. It would be a place where I can affect change, where I can be of service, where I can leave a place better than I found it. There would be a call for my entire skill set. Those things I’ve learned on this quest.  It would be able to fully integrate with my focus of helping women find their voice, promoting and developing programs that will facilitate the empowerment and personal growth of girls. Advocating for education and literacy. Maybe a puppet show thrown in for good measure. I would use the skills I learned onstage, back stage, on the road touring and directing and producing. The connections that I’ve made in the 8 years behind the chair, learning about my clients, investing and connecting with them on multiple levels, that comes naturally to me, but I know that it is also a skill.

I began to really pray about this a few months ago. I wrote to you about it after the comprehensive exam disaster and that blow to my plan and self confidence. I began to do what I always do…talk to my people.

Things happened.

As of Saturday, May 4th, I will officially terminate my position with Salon W, and with hairstyling completely. If you are one of my clients, please do not panic. I have a plan for you. I’ll get to it in a bit.

As of May 14th, I will begin my new position as a Community Development Executive for the Girl Scouts of Western Oklahoma, overseeing District 4  where I eventually will office. District 4 was initially a part time position. It became a full time position and was offered to me in place of the one I had initially interviewed for which would’ve covered my hometown, and surrounding counties. District 4, in a serendipitous twist of fate, includes Norman, Chickasha, Shawnee and surrounding cities and towns. I will office in OKC at first, but eventually will be moved to office out of Norman.

This is an exciting new opportunity for me that will include benefits such as health, vision, dental, retirement. I will work with a group of people who are committed to seeing this project through successfully, and are committed to helping develop strong, mindful and brave girls in this world. I cannot wait to join them.

The bittersweet portion of the program comes in saying goodbye to my faithful and beloved clients. I know that this is painful.  I know that your first instinct will be, “but you can still do me, right?” and my instinct will be to say, “umm sure let’s just…”

But I’m not going to do that.

I have been working on this in my head for awhile now, and I know where I think you should land, and what stylist is going to work the best with you. We will connect and get that worked out. I know that you support me in this next chapter, and that means more than you can imagine.

Meanwhile, I’ve got two weeks in the salon. For those of you wishing to get in one last hurrah!!! LETS DO IT!!! Get on the phone, and get your time.

Change is always…a thing. Sometimes I do it well. Sometimes I am ever so reluctant. I have great faith in this next phase of my life. I have no idea where it is going to lead me…but I do have faith.

 

Faith
When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly

© Patrick Overton
The Leaning Tree, 1975
Rebuilding the Front Porch of America, 1997

Lenten Journey

There is so much unrest among us these days.

So much distrust, so much spite and hate and confusion.

I choose not to watch the State of the Union last night. I was packing. My friend Lynn came over, and I’ve seen all too little of her these past months. I painted my nails. We ate vegan cupcakes.

And we watched the Westminster Dog Show.

It was a lovely night. Oooooohing and Aaaaaaahhhhing over all the pups. Crazy blow outs, crazy haircuts, silly prancings…It was delightful. We had baby talk at the big ole rotties, the mastiffs, the Newfs.  The white bull terrier stopped to eat a little poop dropping. The German wired terrier worked the audience. But it was the black affinpincher (like the dog in As Good As It Gets) named Banana Joe that took home the top prize.

Delightful.

And I drank the rest of the soda in the house.

Because today is Lent. And for the next 40 days, no more soda. Of any kind.

In addition to that, I’m committing to at minimum 10 minutes of prayer and reflection. My focus in this time will be about my journey. Focusing on getting clarity for the What’s Next portion of this Grad School Thing. Focusing on employment. Focusing on where I’m to be used most effectively to employ change and love in the lives of others. I’ll also be focusing on my own spiritual journey, one that has been sadly lacking and almost non-existent lately.

It’s so easy to get discouraged. Especially when you see what people are doing and saying and believing in the name of God. Spewing hate and intolerance and darkness under the veil of atonement and holiness. It’s easy to walk away and say, “let them have it. I’m done”

The difficult part is to stay engaged. Stay authentic in the love and the kindness and stay active in living a life that is an example. Helping when needed. Loving and caring and going the extra mile to comfort someone. Teaching that love has no boundaries, and that grace is the ultimate equal opportunity employer.

These actions have nothing to do with who wants your guns. These things aren’t affected by what party is on your voter I.D. It has everything, however, to do with what you ingest on a daily basis.

That guy that ate McDonald’s for 30 days and got a case of the bloated bloods and spastic everything? The same result comes from feeding your soul nothing but CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Facebook and Twitter.

I’m not leaving social media. I’m promoting a show to help Infant Crisis Services, remember?

But I am going to take time every day to read something nourishing. To sit in quiet, or to pray for guidance and direction.

God bless you today, on the beginning of this time of introspect. My wish for you is that these next 40 days, however you approach them, brings you one day closer to peace.

Spring is coming.

 

Everyday Grace…and a Little Forward Motion

Today was a day full of progress.

Forward Motion at it’s finest.

I finished all the bits and pieces of my ph.d program applications. I refined, and tuned, I printed and printed again. I put everything in nice little manilla envelopes and took them to the sending place and paid some money so that both packages will be delivered to the Graduate School Offices by 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

The final bits that are out of my control such as official transcript requests, letters of recommendation, GRE scores have been requested, have been sent, are in the process of…It’s finished.

As I walked out of the sending place, leaving what was essentially two envelopes of my soul, …it was all very Julia Roberts in Notting Hill…

I’m just a girl.

Standing in front of a ph.d program.

Asking them to love her.

…as I walked back to my car I was overcome by a profound sense of peace. Ok. Here we go. If they don’t want me, if neither program admits me…we will know that it’s not time for me to do this…yet…if ever. And I will get on with figuring out what I’m supposed to be doing. I felt a sense of calm, and a dissipation of this, this…presence that had been with me since I began This Grad School Thing.

Ok. Well…then okay.

I’ve had a lot of thoughts, a lot of words whirling around in my head. Combined with the questions that I’m fielding from everyone else…it’s been kind of cluttered. So much of this part of this year is up in the air for me. For a person that craves stability…it’s not comfortable. However…I realized that I’ve been focused on the endgame. The unknown place where I’ll wind up. How will I get there? When will I know? I realized today, that my focus has solely been on getting to the finish line with so many of these things…and I mean to change that. I think by sending off those manilla envelopes that weighed less than half a pound each, that I began the process. I could have really missed out on the joy that’s becoming self evident every day had I not had the realization.

I wasn’t just doing this with the ph.d program. I was doing it with everything. I was focused on my relationship and the endgame and listening to all the questions about “when are you moving in together…are you going to move to Norman…are you going to get married…what will you do when…what would you do if…” I know these are posed with the best of intentions. It’s a good thing that’s happening here. I don’t know the answers to these questions, and though I come from a long line of women who fall under the category of “when you know, you know, so why wait” this is my thing. It’s Our thing. And we’ll let you know as soon as there’s anything to tell. In the meantime…I’m happy. I’m not going to spend my minutes focused on the what if, and when. Life is good. Here. Now. Right now. And that’s enough.

I wasn’t just doing it with the ph.d. program and my relationship either…LTYM:OKC has been weighing on my heart since I got word that we were selected to produce a show. I’ve been working and muddling and worrying and trying…and really the endgame is going to be amazing. But this journey is going to be an experience that I know…I KNOW will be forever changing. I don’t want to miss out on any part of it. I don’t want to get mired down in the muck and forget why we are doing this.

Finding your voice. Finding the empowerment that comes with your voice. Our voice. It may well be my life’s work. Helping others to find their voice. Empowering those voices. Giving them a platform and the cheers and the courage necessary to share that voice. I believe in this. From the bottom of my heart I believe in this.

Getting permission, getting validation, seeking comfort and sharing your story…that’s what this experience is about. And the opportunity to be changed, to be moved, to experience grace…that doesn’t only happen the day of the performance. There is possibility in every day.

Everyday grace.

That’s what it is.

Today I secured the venue and set the date for our LTYM:OKC production. 

Mark your calendars for Sunday, May 5th, 2013. We’ll see you at Will Rogers Theatre, here in the heart of my hood, in OKC. We finalized the details for our local charity that is Infant Crisis Services. I cannot tell you how much love I have for this organization.

Everyday Grace.

That’s what happens there. It’s what happened today. I won’t be surprised at all if we see a little tomorrow, too.

Today was a good day. Tomorrow I’m back in class. Tomorrow I tackle the big things like initial Thesis research and readings.

But you know what? That’s ok.

Because I cleared some space today. I put away a few things, I made some room for new. Forward motion, ya’ll…

It’s just a car length ahead…just a mile or two faster.

 

Lost

Last night was just a cluster of ridiculousness. It’s a common theme in my life, but last night was especially brilliant. I dug out the yarn basket. I know how to crochet. I have since high school. I don’t know many fancy ways, but I have a pattern or two in my noodle, and thought perhaps I would dig out the ole basket and see what I’ve got in there. Perhaps a scarf is in my future.

The basket was lodged in The Closet. The one in the guest room that taunts me and haunts me and holds a ton of things that I’ve been living without for almost two years. I went in, dug through the rif raff, thinking that goes to goodwill, garage sale, goodwill, back in the closet, until I found the basket! TA-DAAAAAA!!!! I was excited! I haven’t looked through this stuff since I moved into the house almost two years ago! What would I find? What would I find? What would I——

the beginnings of a baby afghan? and tons of baby thread.

a large amount of an afghan/shoulder wrap/snuggie that has been started…and the thread for that.

about five skiens of blue’s that hadn’t even made it out of the plastic sack yet….

Clearly I had lost all motivation for these projects. Either I forgot how to do it in the time between creative spurts, or I got sidetracked on something else…who knows.

Turns out, I’m not excited by ANY of the thread in that basket. AT ALL. It’s old and rough and boring and I think it’s going in the pile to goodwill, garage sale, goodwill, back in the closet.

I settled in to watch 500 Days of Summer. Have you seen this flick? I started watching it last week. Perhaps Wednesday night. That’s the last time I used the dvd player…and apparently when my remote control was Raptured. I tore the couches/cushions apart, moved stuff, looked in and around everything…it’s lost. I’m ignoring that fact for today, hoping some clarity will come, or the cats will quit playing practical jokes on Mama.

Instead, I fired up the Roku and watched Food, Inc. Have you seen it? Woof. It’s really just…well. Eye opening for one. It really goes along with my goal for 2010 to become more educated about food and work towards more organic and locally grown foods. I’ll tell one thing…I may never eat another chicken again. . .and I’m hitting the big health food store for some ReatRoaf (fake meatloaf!) and some fruits and veggies.

Have I mentioned that I’m in a Biggest Loser competition that I’m in with my PseudoSisters and Company? We’re all in, until March 1st. We’ve each put in 25 bucks and at the end of the time will calculate the percentage of weight loss and see who gets the big money! We weigh in weekly…and while I had a huge mental block with the working out last week (could have something to do with the SUB DEGREE WEATHER we had) I altered my foods and LOST THREE POUNDS!!! Wheeeeeee!

LT and I are hitting the gym today, I’m also heading to the post office, and the health food store and then rehearsals begin at 7pm tonight.

So. while I seem to have lost my crochet mojo and the remote, I’ve made up for it by losing the 3lbs. Fair trade? why not. . . but say a little prayer. . . I have GOT to find that remote control!!!

Going Live in 5,4,3,2,1…..

In keeping with my Goals/Projects 2010 List, let me officially welcome you to our new home.

I knew I wanted to shake up the blog a bit. Shine and Spiff. Perhaps . Chris offered to help me out, and by help me I mean, do all of the work.

This is the result! Misti Ridiculous dot com! I have my own DOT COOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

Think good thoughts. Thoughts become things…and here we are. And truth be told? I’m a little tiny bit COMPLETLY freaked by all of the newness. I know some people dislike WordPress I’m a little mournful for ZeldaPinwheelsFlyingCircus. I was happy there. I wrote well there. I was safe…I knew how things worked…

And in the same thought process I think THIS IS THE YEAR FOR CHANGE!!! Embrace! Leap! GO GO GO GADGET!!! The things I don’t know about, I will learn. Chris will help me. I will help myself. It will be great and grand. Everything I’ve written the last five years is here. Safe and sound. I’m excited for the new! There are other things that will pop up here at some point…my Flicker for one. Once I start using it. (add to list of 2010)

Welcome to our new home! It’s all spiffy and new so pack your bags. Come on over. Save that address in your bookmarks. Let’s get settled in!

Happy New Home!