We took a hit this week folks. The death of John Hughes hit me like a ton of bricks. Bigger blow than Michael or Farrah or any of the others that checked out this summer. The Facebook is alive and gurgling with status updates full of lines from his movies. He touched not just us, Generation X, but those that came before us what had to run out and rent/buy the vhs tape as soon as it came out so their child would shut the hell up. It touched those that came after us, thanks to being forced to watch while their older siblings/cousins/aunts/uncles were watching it and wouldn’t remove said VHS tape from tv and relinquish the remote control that was connected with a wire to the machine.

Joe sent me this link on The Facebook yesterday. Go. Read. I don’t think any of us could have a better eulogy.

Many tribute marathons are in order. I’m sure there will be a gathering of the Brat Pack captured somewhere on the tv…give me a heads up when it happens. I don’t want to miss it.

Blur.
It’s been a blur. I realize that it’s only been two days since I did it…but man oh man. Everyone is asking how’d it go? What did I think? Did people laugh? Do I want to do it again?

and kids, let me just say I had a blast. It’s been awhile since I conquered a big ass fear. I felt like a super power of some sort. Conquering Girl. Purple cape please. It was the biggest crowd that they’d ever had at the Speakeasy, save possibly once for the improv guys. I had an amazing following there. People came from all parts of my life and that was…better than anything.

One of my salon gals video’d me on her iphone an I watched some of it yesterday. Some of it. Hyper critical.

Yes people laughed. But the audience was my tribe. so objectively…was it funny? would it play to a group of strangers? I doubt it. I don’t know. It played Monday. Yes, I had fun. I had a blast. I love being onstage. I love being able to be loose and fast with the audience.

I was a little too loose and not nearly fast enough. Twenty five minutes. It should have never gone on that long. I’m stuck on that fact. there was a lot of ambient noise coming out of my face that didn’t need to be there. But…(don’t tell me, I already know. it was my first time. enjoy it. . .and I am.) if I do this again, there will be shaving and tightening the likes of prom night.

Which brings me to the big ? am I doing this again.
Not today.
Not tomorrow.
Maybe.
This was a big thing to get through. I need to simmer in it and see what I think about it. I’m not convinced that this is the format for me, really. But maybe.

I’m working now, on a TV pilot. The Sketch is what it’s called, lots of sketch comedy, lot’s of it written by The Vegan. He’s again, inspiring in the talent. I want to try my hand at writing sketch. I want to continue to work on writing…SOMETHING of substance. of presence. And right now, the inside of my brain has gone from looking like the ticket booth at Yankee stadium on the last game of the season, to looking like the inside of Brittany spears head.

_________________________________________________-blip blip blip__________________

i got nuthin.

All in all, it was an amazing, fabulous, fulfilling, accomplishing, conquering night. I’m so glad I did it. I’m ready for the next phase of TNBT…because I feel like I opened the door to it on Monday.

Tonight Dad comes back. He’s spraying my yard again. Killing that pretty green lushness that I’ve learned are weeds. crabgrass. damnit. I am going to try to work on the reunion, learn my phone, see a play, have some facetime with Gert and Co. watch Lil Ringo in her triathlon on Sunday…my life is full. But it’s full of wonder and love and fabulousness. It really really is.

And when you are underwater for awhile, and resurface…it’s nice to resurface into a place so awesome*

Happy Humping Day! Huzzuah and Halakaleem and I love George Clooney!

*i miss How I Met Your Mother. I want TV back!!

Survivor.
that’s what I am.

You guys…I DID IT! and I think…think it went well. Frankly, it is a total blur. the crowd was amazing. SO SUPPORTIVE! Support was coming at me from the entire universe, and I felt it and I took it and I had fun!

I have to go to work now. I’ll be back later with details…tonight I have a read through for the tv show I’m working on…so hold tight…and watch this and do a little dancing today!

D-Day.
I did not sleep.
Partially because The Voices kept rehearsing my set in my head and partially because I dont know how to turn off notifications on my crackberry so every five minutes or when I’d get an email or facebook, it would tweet. GAH! Joe is going to help fix that for me tonight. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s gonna.

It came a huge storm last night, but is clearing off nicely today…am swigging coffee then heading out to the lake for a walk. Time for myself. Then to the bank, then to home to online pay bills, then to get MGirl, then to the Frontier to get Wonderboy, then to the Mustang pool for three hours max. Then to home for what I’d like to call a nap. Possibly just me in a dark room being quiet. Then MGirl is coming over to help do my hair and make sure I don’t drink too much. Yes. I need a babysitter. I’m not ashamed to admit it.

The last time I felt this kind of fear, fear of the unknown, fear so strongly, was when I left my first ex husband one weekend and moved to Indiana and started tour the next weekend. I vividly remember being in the backyard of the place where I was renting a room. It was the den/office. I slept on a pullout. Walking around the backyard on the cordless phone (pre cell phones) telling Gert, what am I doing? I’m supposed to be ass keep in cupcakes and little league by now! and Gert telling me she was pregnant with Noodle.

That is some pretty strong sense memory.
But with that fear came a second wave of feelings…so strong and convicted of my choice being the right one…so assured that I was within my own personal chaos, doing the right thing and the right time. This road? This road led me to the USPS guy and his pretty pretty wife, led me to Cincy for crazy weekend with Chrome, led me to Saginaw and opened my heart to Clemo, Kizz, Arnie, Dionysas and a year full of karaoke. Led me back to Cincy and to Chrome and to strength and struggles that forged a friendship worth all of it. Led me to puppets and to Harry Potter and to bartending my first job and to Carus my brother in arms. . . that road led me back to here. Back to my family and to Wonderboy and Wonderbaby. Back to Gert and to Joe. To BonusMom and the Frontier. To Elephantsoap and Numskullery and the Redhead and the Vegan in Nyc and Abbylicious and MGirl and Hawk and Ringo and Murph and the 796 guys and to Capital S and to banging hair and all my girls there and to my house and the gazebo and pumpkin carving parties and toasted pumpkin seeds and M’Lynn and Nan and the purple pool…

So with a belly full of fear.
And a heart full of conviction. . .
I jump onto this road. This new path tonight. Taking the first step into the darkness and into the unknown and knowing that someone will either be there to catch me or I’ll be taught how to fly*

two years ago today I left ExHim.
two years ago today I cried and cried and cried and thought I’d never laugh again.
two days from today I will get up on a stage and talk about that…and make people laugh till they cry.
ain’t that some shit?

So I got the crackberry phone yesterday. The tiny little buttons aren’t the problem I figured them to be. I think I like it…haven’t had time to play with it and set the volume and rings, so I miss calls and texts like crazy. Oh well, right? I did figure out how to text and how to facebook…my two major ways of communication. . . and last night through that sweet shiny red toy came the kindest of words…

The Vegan in NYC text last night.

Hey kiddo

(nevermind that I’m a good 9 years older than he. it makes me feel young!)

how are you doing?

He’s a comic (brilliant) and an author (coloring books) and just one of my favorite people in the universe. THEN he gave me Abbylicious. and I loved him all the more because SHE is just about the best thing since spice racks. They both know that the last 6 or so months have been just this side of sticky for me and stand strong in their support. They both have made the pitch for me to get onstage and try this format out. Seperate from each other, prodding me to DO IT!!!
*awwwwww*

Just nice nice nice. Warm and fuzzy nice.

In another Love Note…alltogether different from the previous…I GET TO SEE CLEMO’S FACE AT THE THEATRE REUNION IN THE FALL!!!!

Yes. We are all going to Wisconson in November. Not what anyone would call a typical destination for the years vacation but ya know? There’s not a single one out of this group that anybody would call typical. Nor would any of us strive to BE typical. And we haven’t been together as a group, without missing pieces, in about ten years. AND it’s my birthday weekend. I couldn’t ask for a better gift. And while it took a little practical magic, Clemo has signed on and that just makes me one happy girl.

The weekend is gearing up. I’m gulping coffee. Tick Tock ya don’t stop…

I love you! You and you and you and you and you. and you.
thank you for loving me back.

oh and you. you I most certainly love. . .

i made commission. the second one.
i did not however, make product commision. that sucked.
i still have star wars tickets. that does NOT suck.
i had dinner with the glamour gals, and we renamed ourselves…but now I cant remember the name. it was divine.
tomorrow is busy.
i got my new phone. the blackberry…and i don’t know how to use it yet so forgive me!
i feel good about comedy monday.
i cannot possibly wait for Wonderboy at 11:30 sunday…

life is good.

oh. and I’m getting a raise.

Just made the taco pizza for potluck today. Heather is leaving our salon and it’s her last day. As per the ususal, we celebreat/mourn with food. I have made my donation with mostly lowfat/nofat ingredients so it should be somewhat safe. Safer than a vat of velveeta, that’s fo sho!

Taco Pizza

reduced fat crescent rolls smushed together to form crust and baked accordingly.

ground turkey, browned and one packet taco seasoning

layer on crust

ff refried beans
taco meat
cheese
lettuce
tomato
bell peppers
onions
peppers
black olives
cheese

serve pizza style with salsa.

ENJOY!!!

I make a little veggie one for the veggie in my life at the salon. and the big one I make half beans and half everything because another girl is allergic to the beans. we are a complicated lot, but worth every bit!

Several things happened yesterday that I want to report.

1. I am possibly going to make second commission if today pans out.
2. Numskullery, Elephantsoap and I got STAR WARS IN CONCERT tickets for Oct 21, which just so happens to be Carrie Fisher’s birthday. (ps. if you haven’t picked up her Wishful Drinking and gobbled it right up….you’re wasting your life.)
3. Dad installed my ceiling fan and it’s beautiful and it’s awesome.
4. HE FIXED MY AUTOMATIC GARAGE DOOR OPENER AND MADE IT WORK AGAIN!!!!!
5. He also fixed MGirls front porch chair so now she can come back over and have porch time without falling onto the ground!

Lot’s of good stuff going around. Wonderboy is mine for some of the weekend. We have a pool party on Sunday and hopefully the zoo or the science museum Monday morning.

Monday night is COMEDY. and this time it’s MY COMEDY holybatshitdangitrudy!!!

I tell you all of that to say this.

Thank you for your support. I’ll prolly not be online much posting this weekend. I will have pictures and the like to show you, possibly video of the comedy set. maybe. possibly. PseudoSis3 is giving me her closet to shop in, so I’ll be looking good in the neighborhood…whew.

Have a great weekend. Do a little dancing today, ok?

Tried to do a little post yesterday but it wouldn’t let me. Must be funky airwaves or some such this week. We’ve been pelted with the rain, every single day, which is good for the most part. This is the first day I haven’t walked in the mornings. Too rainy for it. But I was three for three! so that’s better. I’ll try to get some activity in on the weekend.

Dad is here, going to work on my house today. Get up in the attic, peruse the situation up there insulation wise, also installin a ceiling fan in my bedroom which should help matters. Trying to conserve the electricity/a-c bill. Gotta pay that 200 dollar one soon…gag. Hopefully today and tomorrow, the last two days on this pay period will help me get a good paycheck.

Don’t have a whole lot to report…other than we’re looking for a new title for our work bookclub. Trying to get something current, something INTERESTING that isn’t too Self Help. (gag) but motivating and creative…I’ve been looking at different titles onine but if any of you have ANY suggestions for something we can read as a group…PLEASE send me titles!!!

Closing in on the weekend and I just found out that Wonderboy is arriving. I hope to have him Sunday, which totally shoots my original plans out of the water, but whatever. When you’re the displaced relatives you take whatever time you can get, right? and who’s going to turn down facetime with the kid who only MISSED ONE OUT OF 130 on his achievement tests…scoring in the 99% of the NATION in smartness?!?!?!?!?!?

Thank GOD there will be someone who will take care of me when I’m old.

Hey ya’ll…have a Happy Love Thursday. I love you!

I discovered something pretty cool tonight with my On Demand service. I watched a movie that is IN THEATRES RIGHT NOW.

The Answer Man. With the fabulous Jeff Daniels and the lovely Lauren Graham. It was 6.99, as opposed to the usual 4 our 5 bucks per movie rental. There were a slew of titles to choose, but this was the only one I recognized, having just read about it in last weeks Time magazine.

Right there in my living room, on my couch, with Sammy curled up with me.

Technology is really interesting. There are a lot of free things on the On Demand that I found tonight as well. Do you have it? Have you looked through all the Free Stuff??? WHO KNEW???

I walked for 50 minutes today. I felt especially good about that. So good that I somehow managed to eat half a dozen Fiber One Blueberry muffins that I made for the week’s snacking/breakfasting.

I auditioned and THINK I got into the cast of a new sketch comedy show being produced by one of my comic BFF’s. I did NOT, however, stay for the comedy show tonight. I go up this time next week and have made a vow to be home, resting, or writing every night in preparation.

In fact, that will work out like this. Get up tomorrow, walk, be at work at 8:30 for bookclup, work till 6, go to educaiton at the school till whenever. 7:30 I think. Wed get up and walk and prep the house for Dad’s arrival. Work till 8. Dad comes and we putz around and do dinner. Thursday work 9-7. come home collapse. Friday night, I have dinner/drinks with the Purple Pool Gal Pals. This will be a quick and low key night of talking then home to bed. Saturday night possibly a movie or a play then home. Sunday is our company pool party which I will go to for thirty minutes then skedaddle. Monday is comedy.

Bleargh.

however, Bubba told me that if I aim for 5 minutes. . . if that’s all I do…all I attempt…I’ve only got 300 seconds to fill.

300 seconds.

I can do that.

Gotta go to bed. My allergies are crazy. My eyes have watered for hours now. Happy Week, ya’ll. the countdown is on. Oh! Go check out your On Demand service…there’s treasures in there!