Holy hellballs it’s cold. What the hell Polar Fleece Vortex or whatever it is? What the hell???
I’m ready for some warmer temps. A balmy 47 would be loverly. I want to get back outside for some walks without the threat of frostbite. I need the time for mental clarity. Clearly, I’m ok with the voices in my head while it’s cold but they all just can’t fit anymore.
Back at work after a break and while there never really IS a break from this job I did a really good job of disconnecting. I let my work phone battery die completely for several days. I napped and socialized and took in great gulps of Netflix.
That all ended the minute I but feet to the floor yesterday. You see, we have cookie season upon us. We have benchmarks for membership upon us. We have deadlines and issues and volunteers who have been asked for reports for the past six months or they aren’t allowed to participate in the sale coming out of the woodwork. CST meetings have commenced and because the month fell the way it did, I have three this week alone.
And it’s freakin cold.
So who wants to do anything, right?
All I really want is some free time to go back to the yoga studio. I went on Saturday, to the place that Trisha and Brad used to frequent. I drove up and saw girls and their mats sitting outside waiting for the next class (beginners only, that was the one I was scheduled for) to begin.
And I got anxiety. Seriously. I considered just turning around in the parking lot and driving home.
But I pushed through and it turned out to be the most lovely of experiences. I’m happy about making it past the anxious parts and into my peaceful place. I’m hoping to get to a class tomorrow evening if possible, as it’s my only open night this week. I want to stick with the beginning level classes for awhile but for sure, I want to stick with it period. I feel proud for starting something new.
Hopefully, with the extra physical activity, the work stress will lessen. I’ve decided to do my whole “no alcohol” thing again this month. The holidays and really, all of last year were full of celebrations and porch nights and full calorie beers. They all wound up on my arse. Finding other avenues of stress release is an important thing for me. That’s my plan and I’m sticking with it!
How do you alleviate stress? Inquiring minds want to know!
I’m up early this morning, just me and the cats who are chasing each other and sound like a herd of elephants while Mark sleeps through it. I’ve got fresh coffee, West Wing on Netflix, a kitchen full of dishes and my FitBit locked, loaded and on. I’m sitting here learning about it, downloading apps, and reading up on it.
Last night we had friends over, we played catchphrase and a dice game. We laughed and ate a bit. I tried to make fondue, but turns out it wasn’t such a hit. I need more practice, a better recipe, a better pot or not to do fondue again. I haven’t decided. But we ate popcorn and delicious fruit compote and drank champagne and when the clock struck midnight, we were surrounded by friends and laughter.
Today is the last day off of a really lovely break from work. I’m de-Christmas-ing the house. Mark is attacking all of the downed limbs from the ice storm and prepping them for the city to pick up. We shall return back to some sort of normalcy and frankly, I’m looking forward to it. I want my schedule back.
There is Listen To Your Mother work and phone calls and emails to be attacked, I have a cookie cupboard to procure for Norman and the impending cookie sale. We have decided to host a house concert here in March so there is planning and work for that. I’ve got projects. I decided last night I want to learn to knit. It maybe had something to do with the champagne, but mostly I’ve wanted to learn for awhile.
So while I mourn the end of my lazy days full of Netflix and napping, I look forward.
I look forward to a year of music, and Girl Scout adventures. I look forward to knowing how to do my job. Better. Even better than that. I look forward to FamilyPalooza, to trailer travels, to NYC with the Whores and to planting my Spring garden for the first time here. I look forward to LTYM and to being more active in the blogosphere. Lots of fun stuff coming my way! Yours too, I bet.
I may very well make a list like I used to. That would be a fun thing to resurrect. We’ll just see what bubbles up over the next week or so. Meanwhile, I have some steps to take.
Literally.
I have about 9,996 steps left to take today.
I’m going to finish this coffee and get started.
Happy New Year, ya’ll. I wish you the healthiest and happiest one ever.
1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
Moved to Norman, Oklahoma, successfully planned and completed a cousin-family-vacation.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t make any resolutions really, and I don’t have a Life List like so many people that I know. But I usually start the year out with a refreshed outlook on health after a season of gluttony. This year my goal is to learn about my camera and use it, really USE IT! I want to become self sufficient on my blog and become a more self assured bike rider. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! PseudoSis 2 Maegen gave us Jeter Ryan, the O’Donoghues gave us RubeyJo, Tecla gave us Townsend and Stephanie at work gave us Jackson. Many more this year with several more already en route for 2014!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. We lost Mark’s brother in law Bobby and my stepmother Desta and sweet KikiMama. Fucking Cancer.
5. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
More time with my friends. My tribe. My people that know my heart. 2013 gave us glimpses, but my life was a center of change and those relationships took a hit. I want to reconnect with those that I love.
Best Friends Forever
6. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in the US but traveled to New Mexico, Colorado, Texas and Arkansas. Looking forward to NYC with my Whores to see Hedwig this year, more time in Colorado in our trailer.
7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 5th, 2013 we brought Listen To Your Mother to Oklahoma for the first time, and raised well over $3000.00 in cash and diapers for Infant Crisis Services. May 20th, when tornados decimated the majority of my work district. July 6th, Ryan and Mandrea’s wedding, and November 16th, Maggie (PseudoSis 3) and Chris’ wedding that I was honored to officiate. October 15th, on which I officially passed my comps for school and drove to El Reno and hugged Audra on her birthday.
We’re official!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating with my Masters in 20th and 21st Century Studies in Literature. Producing the first LTYM Show in Oklahoma. Celebrating one year with Mark. Becoming an Internet Minister and officiating two weddings. 9. What was your biggest failure?
Not keeping in touch and spending enough quality time with my friends.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I fell a couple of times but no serious injury, normal allergies/sinus muck that took me out a few weeks but again, nothing life altering.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A hand-crafted teardrop travel trailer.
She took us on some grand adventures in 2013!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Every Girl Scout from across the globe that sent a note of kindness to our girls in Oklahoma after the storms. Every state that passed marriage equality.Every person that volunteered some time out of their life to help another. Every person that gave help and service, without condition.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Every person that believes what they see online without researching and developing a thought on their own. Every person that LIKES one of those pages on FB that in reality, is being sold for commercial value. Our governor.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, Food, Taxes, Recreation.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Cousinpalooza, Four Corners Festival and Pagosa Springs, moving to Norman.
We Are Family–One of the best weeks I’ve ever spent.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
I’ll have to come back to this one. . .
I like anything he plays/we sing.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter iii. richer or poorer? Tiny bit richer perhaps as I sold my house and paid off most of my debt.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Time with friends and family, performing ( I miss the stage) Traveling, riding my bike, being active physically.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying about things that really don’t matter, getting caught up in passive aggressive behavior, emotional eating and drinking.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas with both of our families this year. We went to Arkansas for the days before, and came home and served a meal for 13 people in Mark’s family that evening in our house. I’m in a cave-time mode right now. I have no desire to leave the house. I just want to be quite, watch tv, and nap until the new year.
21. There was no #21. I don’t know why there was no 21.
I copied this directly from Kizz’s blog. If she has no 21, then I have no 21. 22. Did you fall in love in 2013?
Over and over again with this man. It’s so sappy and gross, I know. But every time he gave up an entire weekend to produce a show for the community, or helped me bring in the groceries, or napped with one of my, our… his cats, my heart told me that this was the right place, the right man, the right relationship.
Sunday afternoon with my best friend
23. How many one-night stands?
Zero.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
I didn’t do my normal TV intake this year. Just so much change. I did keep up with How I Met Your Mother. MichaelCoffman and I continued our love of watching tv together and ingested Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No hate. Life is too short. 26. What was the best book you read?
I’m just now starting to read for fun and pleasure again. I’ve got several on my list. First up is my first Neil Gaimen that Kizz sent to me, Ocean at the End of the Lane. I plan to start reading it today.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I loved John Fullbright, saw him several times this year, The Greencards, Sara Jarosz, The Giving Tree Band, Josh Ritter (who I haven’t seen yet) makes me really happy.
28. What did you want and get?
The opportunity to direct/produce Listen To Your Mother, a new job, a trailer, satellite radio, curtains for my office, a buyer for my house, a healthy year. Everything I wanted.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Haven’t seen many of these either. Totally off my game. I saw several animated films with my nephew, and I can report that Frozen was delightful.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 43. I celebrated with a fabulous dinner with Audra and Joe and Mark, then some porch time at our house. It was the first time they had come down, the first time to the house. It was special.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Already knowing how to do my job. The learning curve was/is steep but I’m getting there. More time with friends.
I love Girl Scout T-Shirts.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Salon/Student+professional executive=mishmash with a side of soft pants.
34. What kept you sane?
My sister and stolen moments with her.
Me and my Sisser
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Of course my answer should be George Clooney. But this year really it was Kate Middleton. I love her.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Wendy Davis, the ridiculous war on reproductive rights, the education system and how our state superintendent has disgraced it, in my home state.
37. Who did you miss?
Trisha. Audra, Becky & Scott, Dion, Elizabeth, all friends out of state. 38. Who was the best new person you met?
Reyne and my entire new work family.
39. Tell us a valuable lesson you learned in 2013:
I learned that some relationships are finite. That there is an expiration or an end-date…and learning to be ok with that.
Letting Go.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
It would have to be from our song The Quiet Life, by Kasey Chambers and her *then/current? husband Shane Nicholson. Mark and I sing this together. I want to record it sometime this next year along with a few others we’re learning. I’m posting the whole video because I love it so.
It’s been a crazy crazy crazy change-filled year full of joy and pain and surprises. I can’t wait to see what 2014 brings.
This is the first year I’ve done this end-of-year-meme. Kizz has done it for awhile now and it’s one of my favorite lookbacks.
From what I gather here, this year had some rough days, and I spilled it allllll out here. At first I thought, wow, I don’t need to do that so much on this blog. Then I thought, this is my space and I can do with it what I will.
So, for what it’s worth, take it or leave it, I give you 12 months of Ridiculous.
Our first Christmas card photo shoot was fun. We tried for several days to get home from work in time to do this, before we lost the light and after several failed attempts finally it happened. This was taken with Mark’s cell phone camera attached to a mic stand. Pretty ingenious if you ask me. Next year we’ll use my fancypants machine that I’m so in love with.
Turns out, I’ve loved photography for a long long time. My dad, when seeing my present, said as much…and then I remembered. I remembered Santa bringing me a Cannon Sure Shot one year when I was young. He brought a real camera and real film (because we used film then) and books about photography. I remembered it all. Dad even told me that I used to be pretty good at it, too, that I had a “good eye.” He would know. He paid for a lot of film development.
Apparently I grew up and forgot that I used to like taking pictures. I forgot that Santa brought me a real camera. I forgot that I was good. In all of the noise and the people and the everything…I forgot.
It was a stunning realization. I fancy myself pretty aware and in touch with all the parts that make me who I am. I’m someone who has done some pretty heavy internal inspection. I figured of all the people that knew me, I was at the top of the list.
Go figure.
It took getting to this part of my life, this lovely and hectic and full and impatient and content and delicious and sometimes quiet life, that I remembered 9 year old Misti and her love of photos.
From our house to yours, today and tomorrow, I wish for you to be surrounded by things that you love, that bring you joy.
Yesterday began our family Christmas celebrations. From the photos in my newsfeed, we weren’t the only ones. The ice storm had us up and awake at 5am, listening to the boom and crack and explosions of the trees finally giving in to the inch of frozen rain. We have a lot of tree damage. It’s heartbreaking. Really.
But we will deal with all of that when we come back from Arkansas. We are lucky that nothing fell on power lines. We dodged a bullet there for sure. Our neighborhood was pretty decimated, though compared to the last one in ’07 I think it was, this was somewhat better.
We leave for Arkansas today, so I’m packing hair-doing-things, and foodstuffs and presents. Mark and I did our exchange last night, as it will be Wednesday night before we get another span of time alone. And really, he wanted me to have my present so that I could start playing with it.
I’m now the proud owner of a Nikon D5300. Remember awhile ago when I posted about wanting a good camera, that I was sick of iPhone photos? Heh! I’m so excited! I know it’s a heavy duty machine that at *this point I don’t know how to fully operate. Whatever. I’m ready to learn! We have a class coming up in a few weeks that we’ll both attend. Mark has a lot of experience with cameras so his knowledge base is already ahead of mine, which works out because I’m already learning. I’ve been wanting to learn more about photography for years. I’ve got friends like Trisha, Elizabeth, Gabe and Cindy who are really really great at taking pictures. Now I get to join the cool kids club!
I very well may post again before Christmas, but it’s not a top priority. I’ll be surrounded by family fun and laughing and baking and eating and napping and movies and gifting. We’ll rush back on Christmas day and prepare the garlic pork roast feast for Mark’s family and do it all again that night.
So if I don’t see you before, I wish you a very very Merry Christmas. I hope that it is exactly what you want it to be.
The frenzy has caught up with me this past week. This is the part where I remind myself that I actually DO enjoy this time of year and for the most part I enjoy the frenzy and the pace and the socializing and the family time. It is another year of adjustment and hopefully I’m doing better this year than I did last year.
Last year I was juggling the newness of a relationship and working and going to grad school and trying to adjust to different schedules and be a host to everyone that needed or wanted it and I failed miserably. The sting is still palpable, though time has started to ease it a bit. Forgiving myself has been the biggest task from that debacle, I ache at the thought that I hurt feelings or didn’t do right by people that I care about.
But this is a time for forgiveness and a time for grace and I want to tell you about something beautiful that happened the past few weeks.
As Mark and I decorated for Christmas this month, we found that he had some things he didn’t love, I had things I didn’t love or didn’t need or just didn’t work in this house anymore. I thought about the tornado victims in my district and how so many families have nothing this season as it all got blown to high hell in May. So I called my Red Cross contact, sent some emails requesting a specific case worker or family that might like to have all of this stuff.
A result of that came with an email from a pastor who was putting together an event in Little Axe which is a rural community, steeped in a culture of poverty and disconnection, just south/east of Norman. He told me of an event that some agencies were putting together for families that had been identified as those devastated by the tornado. I agreed to provide the wrapping materials, bags, tissue, tape, scissors etc for this event. After another email, I was informed that the giant truckload of toys that had been promised, was not going to arrive, leaving this event in the lurch. At one point it was cancelled/rescheduled then it was attached to another event happening the next day. I was scrambling to figure out a way to help.
Here’s where the story becomes one of grace and hummanity.
I got online and asked for help from a few friends. Friends in my neighborhood, friends that I have in Norman, friends that I have from California to Florida to Brooklyn.
Suddenly, I had neighbors delivering sacks and string and ribbon and wrapping and gifts. I had friends digging out tons of boxes and Christmas stockings. I had friends making donations to PayPal for me to use to shop.
In the middle of this I had a visit with the main coordinator at the Little Axe Elementary School. I had worked with her a little before as this is in my district and one of my schools where I have Girl Scouts. She and I had a really long talk and she told me that the teachers of LAE always adopt a family or two every year for Christmas. As I said, this is a community just steeped in poverty. This year they decided to adopt families from the tornado. Who would know better the needs than these people who educate and work with the families every single day, right? Well here’s the kicker. This event that I was already hooked up with that had lost their donor of toys had promised LAE all that was leftover for their adopted families. You can see where this is going, right?
While the first event was associated with various recover agencies, they were able to scramble and buy toys. Turns out they didn’t actually *need anything from me other than the wrapping station supplies.
It made perfect sense to then transfer our donations and energy to help the families of the Little Axe Elementary, right? Right.
You guys…I collected $500.00 from friends to help these kids. It was the most amazing and humbling thing I’ve seen in awhile. Paypal is a beautiful piece of technology.
So. On Sunday my friend Suzy and I went out and wrapped presents for families at the first event. That in itself was a beautiful and humbling experience. It was a beautiful example of people helping people. We had many different agencies and churches coming together to help provide for those in need. Tornados don’t pick and choose who they destroy. The weather doesn’t care if you’re white, upper middle class, grandparents or if you are uneducated and poverty stricken or if you’re hiding from civilization because of the drugs you’re selling. We wrapped gifts for everyone that day. And it was good.
Meanwhile…
I mentioned that I was taking things out on my FB page and Alison and Becky both brought things to the Council office and loaded it into my car. This was truly a community effort. We were able to give every girl a Girl Scout t-shirt and a membership and I have plans to go out next month and into the Spring to deliver some awesome programming with the Red Cross. I took the money and went to Big Lots and bought so much stuff it! Games were on BOGO. Good games! I bought toys and watches and cars and dolls and bath and body things and some other gift sets for the older kids. I spent the **entire amount and it felt amazing.
You should have seen the eyes of Sandy at the school when I started carrying in sack after sack after sack. We both teared up. Who am I kidding. We both just hugged each other and cried.
It’s cold here, you guys. There are people who are struggling in so many ways we cannot imagine. The idea of having children, and those children talking to others about Christmas and wishes and wants and knowing there is no way that Santa will come to visit because of life and weather patterns…I just cannot.
Each family had a box and a number (no names to protect privacy) and at the end of my visit they were overflowing. See?
Grace. Abundant.
I am so thankful for you that gave. Time, talent and treasure, you gave it all. You also taught me that in the middle of the frenzy, and the crazy and the panic, in the middle of worry about past mistakes and how that will play out this year, in the middle of all the noise…
There is grace in this life.
While it is easy to get caught up in the mire and the muck, the fact remains that no one is disposable. We are here to take care of each other. To love through the fallible moments and make a difference in a life.
I realize that I get manic and nutty about things. I need to have a schedule and know about deadlines and for things to really go as planned. I’m very capable to adjusting to change but it’s not my favorite and the older I get the more I realize that about myself. In the final analysis, I was the one that blessed. Blessed by the grace of these people in Little Axe. I was blessed by the grace of my friends who stepped up and donated and helped, and blessed by the experience itself.
Abundant grace.
**The entire amount didn’t actually go to Little Axe. One day last week I got a phone call from a very desperate woman who got my number from the initial inquiry with the Red Cross. She was trying to help a family of five that lived in south OKC. There were 4 children and one on the way. She had been turned down by several other places and she was just on the verge. I could hear it in her voice. I told her that I would meet her in the Wal Mart parking lot in 45 minutes and ran home, got all of the excess decorations, got the toys from the toy drive I did at work for the initial event, and got 100.00 in cash from the donation fund and gave it all to her. I told her to go buy groceries or a tree or diapers or whatever the family needed.
Yesterday was spent in meetings from 9:30 am until 9:00 pm. Seriously. There wasn’t a moment between any of it. We DID actually squeeze in the office holiday party and ugly Christmas-wear contest/games and silly fun in there but I was so busy trying to organize helping with the event this weekend at Little Axe that I haven’t really stopped. My brain is buzzing.
Today I meet with the VP of student affairs at USAO to discuss implementing Campus Girl Scouts, I will then go deliver cookie costumes to a volunteer for their Christmas parade, then it’s shop for the event this weekend then it’s the weekbeforeChristmas and we are having a holiday party here for Mark’s work and and and and…
While we’re all well into the crazy of the season I want to mark two significant pieces right here.
Tonight is the Masters graduation at UCO. I’m not participating. I’m not walking across the stage. But officially, I’m graduating tonight.
Misti Ridiculous 