What is happening?

Salon business is picking up.
Job 2 is busy as ever. I wish I had more hours in the day.
The new workout place is awesome. Koko Fit Club. check it out.
My food intake is first and foremost in my brain. I totally overbought on the healthy foods this week. Sheesh. I have got to stay out of Sam’s Club.
I started writing the play last night. Julie and I met for dinner at Panera and some working. She’s got the brilliant editorial brain that will lasso my shiny shiny brain. I’ve written three or four scenes. Maybe this will be fabulous!
Kizz leaves for CHINA tomorrow. Holyshitballs. I’m so excited for her.
Its in the upper 70s here this week. I haven’t seen Lil Black Sambo but twice. That boy is out hunting.
I want to go buy some onion sets and get them planted this weekend. It’s time.
I’m not participating in the friend drama anymore. I sent a third and final apology email and he once again ignored it. This girl has never been one to keep sticking her hand in the grater. (haha. actually I am that girl but not this time)I’m out.
I’ve spent the morning writing so that I missed my workout window. I’ll go tonight after work. and maybe go out and walk around in the sunshine.
That’s what’s happenin over here.
how’s about you?

I was up 1.4 this week.

I’m not doing well six weeks into this journey. SO I’ve had a stern talk with myself. I’ve made some life changes regarding exercise, quit one gym and joined a different kind of workout space right down from my salon. I’ve been running around and getting good foods into the house today. I’ve thrown out tons of bad stuff and just made myself get into a better headspace.

It’s time to get serious about this life of mine. What better Valentine to give myself?

I’m telling you this because I’m owning it. I’m not going to be able to go on with my rockstar weekend behavior and expect to lose weight. I’m not going to be able to guess at points and portions and be able to lose weight. I’m not going to be able to let my “support” justify my setbacks and poor choices and be able to lose weight.

I’m owning it. If no one works out with me, or can schedule activity at the same time as me, I’m responsible for getting my ass up and moving. Owning it.

Just thought I’d let you know about that.

Oh the Facebook news feed is chock full of love and snuggles and wuvvy dovey messages and pictures. I’m not unable to be joyful for my friends who are loving today. Love Love Love.
But really? I’m just thinking about weigh in and will I see a loss after the weekend and what a beautiful day in the 60’s today and what do I need to do and am I going to make it into Job 2 today and can I get my car washed before it gets the Michigan Cancer…That’s what I’m thinking about.

Went to the theatre to see Sixteen Candles on the big screen last night with PseudoSis 3. We both handed each other burned cd’s for VDay presents! Ha! so alike! It was awesome to see it on the big screen…Jake Ryan. He doesn’t have a whole lot of dialogue in this picture, but man oh man. I think he was my George Clooney before George Clooney.

So. In honor of love, of Jake Ryan, and of this beautiful gorgeous Monday…Here’s a lil sumpin sumpin.

Who else is crazy this week?
The emotions. The anxiety. The change. The urgency. The tears. The eating. The ups and the downs…

what.
the.
fracken frack???

pipes are freezing. sewers are busting. ex husbands are just fucking PRESENT. jobs are slow. friends are backstabbing. friends are moving. boyfriends aren’t truthful. boyfriends aren’t really boyfriends. change is needed. change is scary. and there’s so much powder out in my front yard, all we need is Charlie Sheen and a couple of hookers.

Is it the weather? Is it the time of year? Are you just hanging on? I know several of my people are gearing up for trips, both big and little. Some of us have started new jobs, which is fantastic. Many of us are forging a path into good health and let’s be honest, skinny bodies which, lets be honest we hope will lead to some touching, if not loving at some point. Some of us are embarking on new adventures, getting married, moving into a whole new shiny Whole Foods/Trader Joe’s infested world. Some of us are in sunny parts of the world, blowing out flip flops. So it’s not ALL bad…but jeez louise.

I just need to get a grip. I want some better weather, which we are getting. In fact we are hitting 44 today and steadily rising each day until we hit mid 70’s next week! I am betting people will be running naked in the streets on that day.

It’s Friday, ya’ll. I have plans with friends all weekend. I’m excited about that. I didn’t make it to the gym but twice this week, and am trying not to feel too badly about that. I’m heading into the salon today with great clients all day, yet i have only one 10 minute appointment tomorrow. Sigh.

The instability of the salon job is wearing me to the bone. I’m opening my mind to perhaps look for other avenues of steady income.

there. I said it.

and with that, I bid you peace out. Ima go bang some hair.

Huzzuah for the day! The roads are…driveable. No more snow in the forcast. 50’s and 60’s this weekend and 70 by next Wednesday. I allowed myself to be the epitome of lazy and watch tons of tv and movies. I did get a little wonky with the snacking last night, but will be heading to the gym this afternoon to help combat that. It was -4 this morning. No way no how was I getting up to go sweat in that. Just not doing it. I’ve got a few hours at Job 2, then a few clients this afternoon, then gym then hopefully catching some dinner with Chris and Cindy and getting caught up on the whirlwind of their lives, and helping to make a plan to get their butts moved north.

Wanna know something else I’ve been better/moderatly good at doing lately? Facial cleansing and moisturizing. Dug out all of my Mary Kay regimine that I got from Becky, and have been using it. Pretty good! I’m proud of myself.

My skin had started showing some severe signs of age. Dry. Wrinkled. Crinkled. I’m not talking about laugh lines and those bits that I’ve earned from living hard, I’m talking the stuff in between. Bleargh. So. Barring a full body chemical peel, (which I’m not opposed to) this is working pretty well.

It’s a brand new day. I got some sleep. I feel human. Hope you do too.

i didn’t sleep last night. worried about snow and freezing pipes and my lower back has been so tight that I couldn’t ever rest. the voices were loud talking and gah. finally about 5:30 I got up, checked the water and it was running, checked the cats and they were in and then I finally got some sleep till about 8:30.

my roomie and her boy made breakfast, eggs and bacon and toast and coffee, so good.
I watched:
The Proposal
Glee
Kindergarted Cop (i’m not a policeman i’m a princess…allllright)
Sex and the City eps
Red
90210 eps

I’ve backed 5 point banana nut muffins that were too sweet for my taste. so I won’t be eating them, the roomie will.

I’ve eaten within my points plus allowance for the day with pleanty left over for dinner.

I’m about to take myself a nap.

I keep thinking I should get out and do something. go to the gym. something. I’ve got anxiety over this friend feud that’s still kind of gnawing on me. I’m close to just blessing it and letting it go. I’ve apologized. Sent texts twice to no avail. No response. The division of friends has already begun and I have done what I can do. SO. I will have to just say to myself what I say to any of you on any given day, ” all relationships have an expiration date. some just are earlier than others. this one perhaps has just run it’s final course and that is that. take the laughter and the fun times and put them in your backpack and roll on”

so. maybe what I’ll do is have a xanax. take a nap. and meditate on letting go of that which I can’t control. enjoy the house to myself while I have it that way, covering up with a fluffy blanket and kitty and doze off to the vocal stylings of Andrea Zuckerman and Brandon Walsh.

By the way? Cindy and Chris are the ones leaving. A brand new world awaits them. Go to Elephantsoap for details and wish them some love and luck.

also by the way? next friday it’s going to be 70 degrees here.

Here we go again. Expect somewhere between 6-12 inches starting tonight. When I left Job 2 today and headed to the salon, the windchill in Guymon (our panhandle) was -22 degrees.

NEGATIVE TWENTY TWO.
NEGATIVE.
I don’t even know what the hell that’s supposed to be, negative twenty two. what the hell???

So. Clients have been moved to thursday. Hopefully everyone will show up…

Tomorrow will consist of Winter’s Bone viewing and some reading.

I did get up and went to the gym this morning knowing full well I won’t get to tomorrow. That’s something.

My day yesterday and today was full of news from friends. Best News. Great News. Equal parts Sad News.
Some of ya’s a gettin hitched.
Some of ya’s a movin away to a new adventure.

All of ya’s got my support and love.

I won’t spill it until you do.

I’m exhausted. Apparently doing nothing last week undid all my good doings the week before. I weighed in today, and was joyful at only gaining .6 of a pound.
Holy crap. How did I do that???
Back at the gym yesterday and today. It’s killin me. I worked the afternoon at Job 2 and will work there in the morning before banging hair, home to make dinner which was amazing, and finish putting up clean laundry and clean sheets.

I think I’ll be going to sleep here shortly. Let’s just hope I stay that way.

Tonight’s supper was so good. This morning I put two frozen chicken breasts and a jar of salsa in the crockpot. two cans drained black beans too. some garlic, cumin, a chopped up jalapeno pepper and let it all cook. Home and shredded up the chicken and made burritos. I also made quinoa and zested a lime into that so it was Chipotle worthy and just damned good.
and I’m SO full, because I went back for seconds. dangit. I didn’t figure out the total points value for it yet but I had only had some roasted veg, a 4 point sandwich and a handful of almonds today so I had pleanty to eat tonight. I’m back on track, focused and ready to do this.

I’ve got a writing meeting tomorrow night with my friend Julie, who I’m writing a play with. It’s the first real writing meeting so I’m excited to see what we decide and where it goes.

oh yeah, Wednesday’s high temp is 9.
as my friend Kathy said, it’s ONE SYLLABLE.
what. the. makeitgoaway.
I want to see some spring please.

and since I have no time to gym tomorrow night, I have to get up in the morning and do it so I’m seriously going to bed.
and it’s only 8:30.

yesterday was a day.

my client moved to today’s book, so my day was cleared to deal with frozen pipes.

the plumber came sometime after noon, and sure enough I had done the right things by opening cabinets and letting water run, but since all my pipes/water tank/washer/dryer are out in my garage, which is not insulated, everything froze up. FROZE UP.

So. The hot water is back, but some stern words from the plumber, and no laundry (which of course I’m desperate to do) forced my had into the world of “do you have any heaters for sale” across the city. In the middle of the second biggest snow storm, I’m the donkey asking for heaters. I did find one at my little Ace Hardware around the corner. 79 dollars she quotes me and I say, I’m on my way. Get to the store and it’s really 99 dollars because it’s computerized. it’s tiny. I pay the 79 and go home and it doesn’t even work in the garage. Too cold to even make a dent. sigh. So I start thinking bigger, and call the places like Lowes and Homgirl Depot and not even hiding their disdain and laughter when they tell me “none in stock” I think bigger. Tractor Supply!!! Huzzuah. Yes. They have kerosene heaters. Yes it will heat a garage or a shop. Yes they have some for sale. No. they have no kerosene. Sigh.

Calling around again. Found a 5 gallon drum of fuel at Lowes about 20 miles south of me. Then have to drive 40 minutes north to the supply store. Then back home to unload and of course, I had to assemble it. Then fuel it up. But first I read ALL the directions. I didn’t want to burn baby burn. Had to let the wick soak for an hour before lighting the first time, so I took the little 79 dollar heater back to the little store and got my refund. Someone could be using that, and I have a little indoor heater so it was stupid to spend the money. I’d already thrown down 160 bucks for my new purchases.

Home to read directions one last time and then I hit the auto ignite switch and VOILA! I DID IT! I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF! I FOUND IT, I PAID FOR IT, I ASSEMBLED IT, I FILLED IT WITH KEROSENE, I LIT THE DAMNED THING AND IT WORKED!!!

Days like this make me crazy and sad and lonely. Not because I want to be rescued, but just because there isn’t someone else to turn to and go WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?? AGAIN??? and we both pile in the car on the Great Kerosene Adventure of ’11. But in the same thought process, I listed out the girls in my life, and there are quite a few that I can name, that would have buckled under this day. So. That made me proud of myself.

I’m not saying I didn’t send out some texts to my guy friends, kerosene vs propane, bla bla bla. And the minute I got the thing lit my phone rang with concerned calls from Mama T and Papa C, who were envisioning my heater as one of the industrial strength, tail gate type of heaters and just knew I was gonna blow. I sent picture texts of the instructions and after some consulting they gave the ok. It’s nice to be loved.

At the end of the day, no money was made. Much was spent. No working out was done, but mexican food with hot enchiladas and a cold beer were consumed. I’m feeling sad about my fitness that was going so well last week and about my food/alcohol intake which has been really bad this week. I want to get back on track. I want the snow to quit falling. (it’s falling here again. light to moderate my patootie) I want clients to come get their hair done. I want to gather with my true friends and not have drama and just enjoy each other and our lives. There’s been a touch of drama this past week, and while I was really broken hearted about it, I’ve said my apologies, there’s nothing more I can do. But more than that, I’ve seen how fun people think it is to run from side to side and talk. That grosses me out and has me reevaluating my circle of “friends”, and really think about who I have things in common with and who I really don’t. So anyways, I’m looking forward to some time with those that know me, and love me unconditionally.

This had been a big ole Yahtzee of words and thoughts and mumbo jumbo of whatnot. Sorry for that. I tried to get up and go to the gym this morning, but the roads are already worse than they were, and my gym is in a mall and who knows about parking and so I’m back here. With the snuggly cats. Killing time before I head into the salon.

Send some good thoughts to Cindy…she’s somewhere between here and there and there are flights involved and all that stress…send some good thoughts to my washing machine hoses and pipes. And the pipes of all the Tribe, lots are frozen, hope that none have burst.

Thinking ahead to Spring.