BlogHer’10 starts today and while I mourn the fact that I’m not there, I send love and light to my girls who are going to be face to face around 5:30 tonight…envious.

There is a crack in my ceiling. A really bad one. I met with the drywall guy and his boss today…getting that fixed and the drywall in the guest room that was spoiled by the leaking roof should be do-able. He’s going to write me up a estimate and I’m going to send that into the insurance. Cross your fingers that they fork over some more $$$ to pay for this…because my day at work STARTS at 3:30. I have 3 haircuts. My first cut and color rescheduled. It’s bleak. Scary bleak. and I’m trying to walk in faith. Stay POSITIVE and “even keeled”…

I just fell down my stairs outside into the gravel…

Thursday, meet The Proverbial Straw.

knee and hands are all bloody and janky and scraped up and I’m sitting on my couch trying to hold back tears. Hot. Mess.

So. I’m going to give myself a few minutes to come-apart. Then I’m going to go fix my face, doctor my wounds and head back to the working place with a smile and positive attitude.

but before I do that…I’d like to give Thursday one big final, BUGGER OFF.

For the second day in a row, I have NOT gotten up in the morning to go for a walk and listen to my newly downloaded book. The first night, I was just so into sleeping in an empty house that I just slept through it. Last night, it took forever for the house to cool off from our 104 degree day. Plus I was worried about the huge crack in my ceiling leaking out all of the cool air. (clearly I’m not an engineer…) and just as I’d nodded off a crazy noise went off in the living room.

Not another bird. PLEASE GOD. Not another bird.

nope. just a locust and one happy black kitty cat. I couldn’t stand it and got the bug outside. pissed off the cats. went back to bed to worry about the a/c and heat and FINALLY got to sleep around 4:30. At 5 said little black kitty came in, which prompted Kikimama to hiss in my ear. Then mournful meows came from the kitchen. I walked in and he’s sitting in the sink.

thirsty.

Ok. water. might as well feed but I know he’s going to drink so much that when he eats he’ll throw up. sure enough I had a mess to clean this morning when I finally rolled out of bed….

Kids. It’s just now 10:30 am.

I’m taking my push mower to the frontier tonight after work to mow the edge by the creek. Getting it into my car turns out…not a one person job. Sean Patrick sent a worker bee to help me…I’m hoping I can go over to a neighbor for help unloading, then reloading….

and by the way? it’s already 91 degrees out there. sweating balls.

I have an open afternoon…I’m sending out good joo joo for call-ins. That will make me happy. I have a bartending shift this weekend. That makes me happy. I made one helluva tuna on bagle sandwich for lunch. along with canteloupe with cardamom and some watermelon. that will make me happy. Cindy leaves tomorrow. that makes me happy.

deep breath.

giddyup.

I feel like perhaps Ive made a turn this year. I dont know if its been all the wackadoo at work, or if sitting under the full moon with Chrome and each of us stating very simply our innermost raw feelings, or if soaking up the love of all the people in my house last week, or if it was finding that 40 bucks in my pocket…but I feel like I’ve made a turn…and that is number one on the list.

feeling hope. seeing the house come together. i.e. roof. grass. a/c.

getting my drywall on the books to be fixed as well as the huge crack in my ceiling that happened when the roof got fixed…

gathering with high school friends

picking cucumbers out of my garden and making pickles out of them.

watching Mad Men on my computer via iTunes.

sleeping with my bedroom door wide open and wearing nothing at all.

reading The Help and talking to people about it.

playing around with my iPod and getting excited to start walking.

maybe getting a dog in September. (whole nother post)

making first commission by 3 dollars.

having good, fresh food in my fridge.

thinking up funny status updates for my professional facebook page.

watching mindless tv with Hawk and Ringo.

mowing on the Frontier and helping pick the garden.

watching The Blind Side

getting one day closer to football season!

seeing Pseudo Sis 1’s SKYDIVING PHOTO

swimming with PS2 and offspring at the Mustang Pool

Clean Sheet Monday

wearing my hair “curly” in the summer because it’s too hot to blow out.

104 degrees out side and eating ice cold watermelon that was meant for Chromecoming that is now cut up in my fridge

remembering to take out the trash

Off to another week…August.

AUGUST!?!?!!!?!?!? are you serious?

I had an amazing weekend. Just nesting. Getting my groove back with my home. Laundry and some cleaning. I made two batches of homemade pickles out of the garden cucumbers!!! I grilled chicken and cut up fruit for the week’s meals. I had Clean Sheet Monday! It really was fantastic. I am refreshed in my heart and head today as I sit here with my coffee about to prep for a new work week.

Did you get to see Dion’s birthday posts? Kizz had a beautiful one full of pictures of our boy. Check it out if you missed it. We’re all turning 40! But Dion makes us all look better for being in his age box!

I spent some time with my techy gadgets last night. After a talk with my high school English teacher via Facebook, I decided to download a book or two and put it on my iPod and listen while I walk. Intending to get up this morning and walk and start listening. UP!!! GET UP!!! not even close. But perhaps tonight after it cools off…or tomorrow. I have to check out my shoe situation so as not to kill my feet again like last time but I’m excited. Time to move. Time to put more great things into my brain and MUCH better and smaller things into my body. (i’m talking about food, numbnuts.)

I’m going out to the Frontier with my push mower to help Bonusmom with the mowing. She lives alongside a creek, and the bank is a little too high and a little too steep for the riding mower. Freaked me trying it last week. So. I’ma figure out how to collapse the mower and get it into the car and go mow tomorrow night. I’ll take my iPod! Ha!

Cindy is heading out to NYC for her first trip and for Blogher. I cannot express my excitement for her adventure. I know she’s in good hands with Chrome and Kizz…I am envious of her time in my favorite city and with my girls. I cannot wait for her to experience it and then come pour the memories and stories all over my head!

Too bad she’s going to miss the cold front that’s moving in here….it’s going to get down to 98 degrees this week. Brrrrrrrrr!

I’m up to make my lunch and get ready for the working! Here’s todays Note From The Universe to start you off too!

So much love, blazing insights, a wild imagination, and opposable thumbs… Misti, do you know what this means?!

You’re nearing the zenith of your evolutionary curve!

Don’t delay!! This is the time to invite fate, tempt passion, and expect miracles by dreaming big and taking nonstop action!!

All things are indeed looking possible and you alone decide how your tomorrows will unfold.

There’s nothing that can stop you! There’s no one who’s above you! Even time must bend to your thinking… and Misti, doodads and things just lying about… fear you.

My how you have grown,
The Universe

Yesterday, as previously posted, was NOT Dion’s birthday. It’s TODAY! My brain…enough said.

This man is my soul. I knew it when I met him 11 or so years ago in Saginaw, Michigan…we would never be apart. Oh, sure. Physically. Geographically. But never, ever, ever in our hearts.

This man…is my soul.

and he’s making 40 look goooooood honey.

Here are a few things for him to laugh about, as I send love across the miles.

I live alone again…

Austin moved out yesterday. I hope that his time here was what he needed. I think lessons were learned on both of our parts, about how to live with another human. I hope lessons were learned. Don’t let water leak into your room and not tell the owner for 4 hours. Dont put something on the wall that when you remove it it pulls off everthing down to the drywall.

Sigh.

I’ve had a three day weekend and honestly, it’s been super low key. No crazy parties, not much socializing. I did go out Saturday night with my high school friends. That is always amazing and grand. We laugh, we snicker, we talk about how young we all look. There’s always one who shows up and brings extra cranky. Eyeroll. And no one really gives them the attention they’re demanding so they leave early anyway!

Sunday, I got up and went to the store and made a meal to deliver to my favorite new parents Matt and Coleen. They brought Lil Palmer home this week…I made chicken creme cheese enchiladas, black beans/rice slurry, homemade salsa with fresh from the garden stuff, and a chocolate cake. It was awesome, when I took it over, their little house was FULL of family. All just sitting looking at the baby. I didn’t even try for holding time…there will be pleanty of that. I remember when the Wonderboys were born…we all just sat around and looked at them. It’s a very special time.

Anyways, the cooking heated up the house and it was 103 yesterday and beyond and so it just drained me. I was going to go out for a beer last night but got to feeling wonky, so just laid on the couch. In my empty house. and loved it.

Of course, the first night that Austin is gone, Sammy brings in a bird. I woke up to the sounds of bird murder around 5am…Gah. I just shut the door and put pillows over my head and went back to bed. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a huge mess this morning. We’re all trying to keep the house clean!

My chores today are laundry. I’ve already cleaned the kitchen. I’m watering the back right now…and downloading Mad Men on my iTunes. WHICH…let me just say, I think I totally F’d that up. I think I bought the HD season pass AND the normal D season pass. Fraggle Rock. Damnit. Still…not as much $ as cable for the length of the season. Chris, once I get these eps on my machine, can I burn them to a dvd?

I have some Frontier mowing to do today, just gotta figure out how to get my push mower out there. I dont think it’ll fit in my suv…Gotta figure that part out. Other than that, I may go to the pool today, I may just rest. I’m working on rest…

Yesterday my beloved Dion turned 40 years old. This is merely a shout out. I’m working on a proper Bday post for him later…

Once again taking my cue off of Cindy, I’m going to Grateful Friday it over here today.

It’s the last week of the pay period…and the first of the month is when the mortgage is due…today I only have two mens cuts. I’m hoping and praying for more clients today. Tomorrow…zero on the books. If I don’t get anything for tomorrow, I’m going to just take it off. One doesn’t get walk ins on a Saturday. The Level 1’s might get them, but not Level 5’s. Gert and I have discussed taking Noodle and her cousin to the pool somwhere. That’ll be fine and fun, but I was really worrying about money and my paycheck this morning while I was getting ready and all of a sudden a voice or thought popped into my head.

It’s gonna be alright. It’s gonna be alright. It’s gonna be alright.

Then I put my and in the back pocket of my jean skirt I’m wearing and pulled out two 20 dollar bills.

I’m grateful for that inner voice, that Spirit that leads us…if we listen.

I’m grateful that I’ve slowed down enough to listen.

Grateful Friday, ya’ll.

Faith

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly

© Patrick Overton The Leaning Tree, 1975 Rebuilding the Front Porch of America, 1997

I woke up this morning with a Grateful mantra on my lips…running on a loop in my subconcious.

As I bubbled to the surface my first thought was “I’m grateful that dream was only a dream. I’m grateful that I get to sleep in this morning. I’m grateful that I remembered to take out the trash. I’m grateful for my family. I’m grateful for my health. I’m grateful for my job. I’m grateful for my friends and their eternal support…” and it just went on from there. I stayed in bed a full hour so I could keep doing it.

Kiki and Sam were curled up in their parts of the bed and we all just laid there in peace and wallowing in gratefulness.

I’m enjoying my late morning with a (still) clean house, some really good coffee and knowing I have some appointments on my book this afternoon/evening. Cindy sent me the pictures from Chromecoming and they played on my computer in a slide show to “You’ve Got A Friend In Me” and I thought…it just doesn’t get much better than that. Everyone should look at pictures with background music. It’s awesome.

I looked horrible in all of them. Bloated. No makeup. Just worn out. It’s time to start taking care of myself and what I put into my body. The evidence is there in the photos…but because of the joy…it’s not the focus. Does that make sense? But it is there. Gross. Time time time to make some changes.

Look at my Note From The Universe for today…I love it.

Stop thinking that you have to make it happen, Misti, and let it happen…

That you have to be better, and be yourself…

That I’ve ever judged you, and be free.

WEDNESDAY!
The Universe

WEDNESDAY!!!grateful.

I usually read these first thing in the morning…today I did not. huh.
Look at that…

It is OK. You are alright. You needn’t second guess anymore, Misti.

Everyone is safe. Nothing “bad” is going to happen. All of the promises have been kept.

And you could not possibly be more adored.

By me,
The Universe

It is OK. You are alright. You’ve done so very well for yourself, Misti.