Woke up feeling normal. Just enough going on in my head to get things done, dishes, mopping, floors, etc. Just enough to get me out of bed and coffee made and some things finished and enough to want to finish the rest. It’s a brand new day.

It’s like this:

Adjusting to the meds…came home after my first class last night. I talked to my professor, got my info for next week, turn in my assignment and home to the couch. I ate some dinner, played some words with friends then crashed.

Crashed to the point that I emailed my professor for this morning’s class and slept through the day.

Like…seriously. Through the day. I finally woke up at 4pm.

I did get a call from the doctor’s office regarding my bloodwork. Everthing was fine. No menopause, hormonal issues, anemia, thyroid. Nothing at all. Some wonky cells in another test so I have another one in 6 months. I told her I thought the meds were dialing me way down, and she just kind of laughed it off. So, I’m probably going to cut it to half and see how I feel about that.

Dialed down way too much. I know I probably needed the sleep. I had a big week last week and had to recoup in some way. But damn. My give a shit is gone. Kitchen, house, bla bla bla. I’ll dial it back up a bit and see how it works out.

Meanwhile I’ve got to get a shower on my stinky self, clean up that kitchen, and run the vacuum.

 

The art opening at USAO this weekend was done in conjunction with the theatre department’s production of Angels in America. I bought a piece. It’s beautiful and the entire show was just gorgeous.

This is the artists website.  The piece I bought is called RESPECT.

I love it.

The past week was a blur. Doctor’s appointments, advisor appointments, birthdays, art openings and plays and alumni friends, Friendsgiving. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a week so packed.

I’ve put off some homework that I’m scrambling to finish this morning, my house is a little on the messy side, my kitchen is sticky from cooking for the dinner party last night yet…I’m not panicked about it. The angst and crazy have been dialed way down…I got amazing sleep last night, and even allowed myself to sleep in until 9.

I know the meds are supposed to take awhile to kick in…but I do think they’re working. My crazy stress voices have been nearly silenced.

So that’s something.

I worry, though, that the parts of me that are creative will be silenced, too. The crazy inappropriate, bawdy, ridiculous side of me will be muzzled and I’ll just be all zombieland around here…time will tell.

I’m at work, waiting on clients, shuffling around times to try to get to the phone store…but i wanted to tell you something.

I’m going to apply to this.  Whaddya think?

 

I don’t have a faculty member on campus that KNOWS me…yet. But my professor that announced this in class today said she would write a referral…

thoughts?

HOW FREAKIN COOL WOULD IT BE TO BE A DELEGATE TO THE UNITED NATIONS???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I dropped my phone in the toilet. First thing this morning. So if you’re trying to contact me…well. It’s not gonna happen. I have class, then a quick break to come home and pack a lunch, then work, then a break, then more work. So hopefully during the afternoon break I can go to the Sprint store and get a replacement. I’ve decided to get the iPhone, but I don’t want to be rushed. I hear that the Best Buy has insurance, I’ve got some investigating to do. Anyways, Wheeee!!!!

 

and flop. no phone.

I’m sickened.

Read the grand jury report. I could only make it through 7 out of 23 pages. Make up your own mind. But as everyone/some are lauding Joe Paterno for the empire he built and the lives he has touched and the example he has led for the student body, ask yourself what would have happened if he had not ONLY followed the chain of command, but gone directly to the authorities in 2002.

Would there have been fall out and some disgrace? possibly.

Would the ALMIGHTY Program have suffered? perhaps.

But would he have saved there being more numbers beside the word Victim in that grand jury report? Would he have been lauded as a defender of children and become an ambassader for awareness of such abuse? Would his words that speak of Honor and Integrity ring true? All of it is just conjecture, but I would bet that he would NOT have been retiring/get fired in such disgrace as he did today. I bet if he had it to do all over again, he would do the right thing. Because come on. We ALL know what the right thing is. Don’t we?

That test was horrible. Partially horrible. The multiple choice biographical information was just so nutty. I studied harder on that this time, learning from the last. But the things I thought were relevant, who taught here, who wrote for what publication, who won this…well that wasn’t on the test. Then I just guessed incorrectly on many. But the other sections of the text I believe I did well on. We’ll see. I’ve had such a rigid goal for a 4 point…I think I’ve already screwed that pooch.

I went to speak to that professor after class about one of my papers. We wound up talking about a few more things, she assuaged my fears and anxiety about the writings. I felt great relief as I left her office. I’ll be taking her Southern Women Writers class in the Spring. I’m looking forward to it.

Next up was my meeting with my advisor. Considering our history…I was feeling anxious. But I left there with a smile, and tears of relief bubbling up behind my eyes (fucking hormones) and a beginning plan of study. I asked some questions about classes, got some information about the ones I was enrolled in and dropped and added accordingly. Have a bit of a plan on the intersession and summer schedules, and I’m just feeling much better about her and our relationship. It’s going to be fine. Just fine. Next semester I’ll be enrolled in 18th Century Restoration British Lit, then I have 45 minutes to get to the downtown campus for my night class on Monday which is the Fitzgerald/Hemmingway class. Tues and Thurs are Southern Women Writers. It’ll be a lot of reading. Lots of papers. But I feel like I’ll be ok. We’ll see.

I left there and drove immediately to the doctor’s office. Long appointment that included drawing blood for tests, a nice long visit with the nurse practitioner (who my appt was with) exam, and appointment for 6 weeks to re-visit. Tomorrow I call and schedule my mammogram (first one) and an ultrasound. I also got a scrip for a mild anti-depressant. . . which I got filled at my walmart pharmacy for FOUR BUCKS! Wootwoot!

So. Lots there. I’m ready to figure out what the hell is going on and get it fixed.

I hadn’t eaten all day save some vending machine crackers and hot chocolate, so I drove myself right to Ted’s for a late lunch/early supper and had some delicious chicken and beans and rice. Home now, and if we dont’ have another earthquake, I’ll be asleep before 9.

Tomorrow is homework. I’m ready to pound out some papers. I’ve got several dozen cookies to make for church. There is a mission to the men’s prison that happens this week and cookies are part of it. I’ll drive those out and practice my cantata while in the car. Im missing choir practice this weekend because I already have a Friendsgiving scheduled. Extra practice required to make up for missing!

Happy Tuesday. Peaceout.

Another earthquake last night.

I think I’ve screwed my chances of a 4 point. That methods of research class has turned into a venue for the professor to vent his frustration at the academic establishment, and talk about his publishings…I’ve gotten B/B+’s on the last two assignments. I’m arguing them both, so we’ll see how that goes. And by arguing, I’m stating my case, not being hateful. But it’s depressing, nonetheless.

I have a bigass test in Women in Lit today. 15 authors. I hope the biographical information is implanted in my brain. I’m fairly confident.

Finally!!! My advisor appointment. I went ahead and enrolled, but we may be changing that. We’ll see.

To finish up the day I finally see the ladyparts doctor. I have some anxiety. I have some serious issues that must be dealt with. My hope is that these issues are just aging and genetics and not signs of something more scary.

I’m ready for ALL of it to be over. Im having one of those close my eyes and pretend it’s not happening kind of days.

and it’s only 8am.

and seriously…are the Duggers REALLY having another one???? Hoarders.