My voice was clear and energized.

I made eye contact, made a few silly comments that immediately eased the group into a mindset that we were all on the same page, though I was behind a podium and they were in their seats.

We dove into discussion of my favorite book and looked at it from all corners, all points of view.

Each question seamlessly moved into the next one, prompting discussion and exploration. . . between myself, the teacher and perhaps 4 students.

out of 20.

One girl smooth out went to sleep.

Handfuls had not even read the required portion of 114 pages.

One girl had only read about 20 pages, but decided to try to commandeer class with her analogy of Jem, Scout and Dill to the Rugrats.

And ya know…perhaps it was a valid analogy. But I don’t know a Rugrat from real rat so it was lost on me. I just smiled, and let her continue to smack her gum and twirl her cinnamon colored hair extensions.

The girl that commented on how “i just really hope that doesn’t ever happen again” regarding the Holocaust was happy to talk about how sad she was that the dog got shot.

As for the rest of the class…blank stares.

Flatline.

Seriously. I was expecting Billy Mahoney to show up any minute and start kicking the living crap out of everyone.

(twenty points for the Flatliners/Keifer Sutherland reference. BAM)

There were a few, however…that were engaged. They smiled. They enjoyed the information in the packet I prepared. They watched the documentary and learned a few things. My professor was encouraging, which was nice considering she started the class by chewing out a few students and then telling us that she had no sleep due to personal family issues.

Class was over, students filed out, I was left with the extra handouts and a raging headache.

Just like a real teacher.

 

I’ve said before…this life I’m living is more about time management and planning than it is about moment to moment flying by the seat of my pants.

It’s an adjustment.

I’ve always had an element of spontaneity in my life and have loved that. . . required that.

Welp.

Spontaneity has left the building.

Oh sure I’ve got some play time. I can go watch a tv show during the week. I can play on the weekends if I have my homework finished, or like Sunday, if I leave the movie theatre and go directly to the library and work until I’m finished. Sure. I’m not chained to my desk every moment I’m not at work. I have from about 3pm on Saturday until 2pm on Monday that are available for fun/travel/playtime. That’s pretty much it.

But I miss being the Giddy Up Gypsy Girl.

I’m sad that I don’t get to go to New Orleans with Audra and Joe and Steve and Alex. I’m jealous of that trip happening without me when all along it was supposed to happen with me. I’m annoyed that I can’t just “miss class” and go. Or “miss work” and go. I’m annoyed in that part of my life.

I’m sad that a trip to NYC isn’t on the books. I tossed the idea of going over the Thanksgiving break. That’s my first time off from school and the salon is closed. But while I have money set aside for a ticket, really, if I can’t go to NOLA, then I really can’t go to NYC. And while a trip to Arkansas is almost as pricey with tolls and gas prices…it is closer. And my sister and I do love that day after shopping.

I keep focusing on the reality, and the endgame.

There will come a day when time to play will be at my discretion. But right now, in THIS moment, it’s about the choices I made when I leapt into this adventure. My focus is on this and doing the best I can. My excitement and joy is funneled into assignments like today’s when I get to teach my favorite book. Or when the Universe gave me the chutzpah to call the director of the movie and ask her some questions. That’s what puts a smile on my face these days.

My joy comes from weekends like this past one, when I had clients in my chair like JC and Layne that I love with my whole heart, had lunch and got caught up with them. When I was invited to the PseudoFamily’s house for burgers and beers and laughed all night, and then because the burn ban had been lifted we sat outside with blankets and watched the entire town shoot off fireworks. It was meeting friends Sunday for a movie and enjoying time with them. It was spending the rest of the day in the library, and finally, FINALLY having a breakthrough in the research and everything in my brain starting to click and groove again. It was coming home and getting all of my lesson plans finished for the afternoon’s class.

Navigating this thing…it’s difficult. But I’m still me. I’m still here. The gypsy part is riding this one out for awhile…the committed responsible one is driving the bus.

I look forward to the rest stop when they trade places.

Yesterday was a gold star day.

I got to class and got my test returned…I only missed 3 on the matching so I got an A! There were great margin comments in the essay portion which was just icing on the cake.

I did some research in the library, then came home to work on my lesson plan for TKAM in next weeks class.

I rewatched the documentary on it and then called the director and did a quick little phone interview with her.

WHAAAAAT????

Yup. Here’s how that went down.

One of my clients was listening to me wax poetic about TKAM and getting to lead class on it. She mentioned that she ordered this documentary about it and how great it was. I ordered it with my student Amazon Prime account that Chris hooked me up with. I saw that the director could be followed on Twitter, so I tagged her in a tweet praising the movie. She tweeted me back. I got the idea to have her answer some questions, like maybe I’d send her an email and she’d answer them and email me back. All she could say was no, right? She said yes. She sent me both of her phone numbers. I made some notes then got up the nerve to call her…seriously…I typed the numbers into my phone and then hung up about 3 times. Then I just said, LEAP GIRL! and so I called and we talked and I typed furiously notes and quotes and whatnot and we hung up and it was amazing. What was even more amazing is that the first few lines of my notes for class discussion that I’d already written…she said almost word for word when asked what prompted the project. SO COOL.

Earlier in the day, while I was in the library the Pilot sent me a text asking if I could talk. I said I’d call him when I left and when I did, he said he had an extra ticket to the Night Ranger/Foreigner/Journey concert at our outdoor venue and would I like to go.

Ya’ll.

If I had a bucket list, I would have been able to cross off “hearing Sister Christian live”. It was a perfect night. We sang. We danced. We shook our fists in the air. We laughed. The weather was absolutely perfect. His daughter and her friend were with us. She’s a sophomore. So cute to watch them. It was their first “real rock concert” —fitting, in that Journey was my “first real rock concert” too. I was a sophomore as well. Full circle. It was perfect.

Yesterday was one for the books. I give thanks for it, I acknowledge the preciousness of it, and I’ll remember it forever.

I just said goodbye to my family. Packed them all up with their new things and my old things and the child that was busy telling us how he needed ONE MORE COOKIE. They drove off, I walked inside.

And immediately burst into tears.

I miss them so much.

And they left their hearts in this house this weekend. Seriously. Worked like hired help. We did a last minute re-arrangement of my living room this morning and seriously added another 200 square feet to the place. It’s amazing.

My focus is shifting now to the day ahead.

My dear friend Joe…Audra’s love…he lost his father this past week. Today we gather to celebrate a man who gave us the man that we all love as our own. I cannot imagine what he’s feeling. I’ve stood by several of my friends as they’ve gone through this. The pain must just be endless. I’m thankful though, that the suffering is over, that he is no longer hurting, and that somewhere he is reunited with the sweet woman that helped give us the man that we love today.

Joe is the most precious of souls. He is a true friend. I hope today, he is a witness to the love he has in his life.

 

Ya’ll.

My mother and sister cleaned every speck of dust, every cobweb, every random bit of funk that the cats have drug into the house. Every closet is cleaned out, organized. Every cabinet is sparkling and every floor is cleaner than it was at the beginning of time. There’s not a surface that hasn’t seen clorox or magic eraser or pledge polish.

I took a car load–LOAD–of clothes, furniture, knicknacks and general useless crap to Goodwill and gave my sister the rest of the clothes, she’s my goal weight. It feels amazing to have all the excess out of the house and to know what I DO have.

We shopped at the new outlet mall and bought some new clothes, and bought Wonderbaby every character in Toy Story 3. No kidding. It was one hella sale.

What a blessing…I’m so thankful.

I’m exhausted.

Tomorrow is Joe’s dad’s funeral. I’ll miss my first class but will be able to get to the night class.

We’ll get up and putz around in the morning and then have to say goodbye.

It goes by all too quick.

Also—

I’m coughing up a storm and praying this inhaler will work it’s magic.

I’m allergic to dust.

sheesh.

How much do you love this?

WonderBoy’s class was selected to attend a press conference for the opening of something fancy in their town.

He really wanted to wear a tux.

It was “the most important day of his life”

That is all.

There’s a lot going on this weekend. For all of us. I’ve got family coming to visit, something I’ve been looking forward to for months. I’m feeling better, still a little snotty but much better. The last thing I wanted was to feel awful all weekend. So that’s good.

I managed to put the house into some sort of order, so that’s good, too.

So, I wrote to the director of the documentary I watched a few weeks ago asking if she would answer a few questions for my teaching assignment. She tweeted a response to my tweet about it (and here’s where I’ve lost all of you non social-networkers but hang with me) so I used that as an opening to just jump in and ask. I’m anxiously awaiting a response. We’ll see.

It’s the first day of Fall.

This makes me happy. Our Summer season was brutal. Horrible and brutal. Fires. Drought. Unbelievable electric bills we’re all still paying off. . . I’m glad this one is over. I’m ready to be outside, by the fire pit, in the hammock. I’m ready for the windows to be open and the breeze to flow through the house. I’m ready for the long sleeve t-shirt days. I’m happy about it.

I hope your Friday is full of blessings. I hope you can take a moment to just enjoy and feel a bit of peace through all of the crazy. After all, this is the last first day of Fall we get this year.

Giddyup!

 

 

Remember my sexy Armenian trombone playing boyfriend what was in TV on the Radio?

I miss him.

 

I have felt a little funky all week.

I suspect it’s the schedule and coming off of a breakneck weekend and the stress of the test and work and bills and life and bla bla bla. Same shit ya’ll are dealing with. The only reason it’s special to me is because it’s mine. My stress. My schedule. My life.

We’re all rolling along, juggling, cha-cha-ing, one foot in front of the other.

But yesterday, after I finished the early morning meeting, then working at the oil and gas office until I had no work left, I came home to do some homework before I went to the salon for some clients last night. I wound up falling asleep and waking with a sneezing attack and that icky feeling in my nose/sinus area.

It could be just the allergies that have been plaguing everyone around here, or the fact that I’m living in a house that hasn’t been vacuumed in a week or dusted in two weeks. Or the cats. Or all of it. Whatever the reason, I woke up with that sinus pressure, the tickling in the ears, all the symptoms that go with the beginnings of the funk.

I took some nighttime cold meds, got amazing sleep, and got back on my zyrtek and fired up the neti pot* and other than a little sinus pressure I feel much better today. It’s just a reminder that I have zero time to go down. And I must take extra care with myself and rest and the right fuel for my body (more whole foods less jr mints).

Mom and Sis and at least one child will be here for the weekend. We’re going to hang out and make soup and hit the big new shiny outlet mall that opened a few months ago and just enjoy each other.  After that, I’ve got one bartending shift on the book next weekend and then it’s really just work and school. I’m looking forward to that.

It’s all about time management and learning some lessons about my limits. I’m ok with that. And knowing that if I don’t get off of the computer and get ready, I’ll be late for class.

Peaceout ya’ll.

**oh yeah. I guess I’m going to go buy the special distilled water for the neti pot. People are freaking me out with the threat of an amoeba in my brain. Also, I’m out of the prepackaged salt packs…so this morning I just threw in some Kosher Salt I had in the kitchen. Holy shit the bed Batman! Pretty sure I used too much. My sinus cavity is still burning. I didn’t know I could move that fast first thing in the morning.

I took my first big test this morning.

It was in my Women In Literature class.

It was wonky.

I forgot to set my alarm.

I didn’t wake up late, but I didn’t wake up as early as I wanted.

Traffic was a surly bitch this morning.

I walked into class not at my usual 10 of time slot but right on the second. . . so no mental prep time.

The first few multiple choice questions on the test were more like trivia questions. . . so with each question it became not about what bits of knowledge I’d gleaned from lecture, but about how good of a guesser I am.

The second part was matching a specific bit of text to the actual story and the author. I will be amazed if I got any wrong on this part.

The final section was two essay questions.

In the back of my mind I could hear Roger and Ma saying, “if you don’t know the what they’re asking you, tell them what you know.”

Hopefully she’ll have them graded by class on Thursday. We’ll see.

I had lunch with Kathy and we talked and laughed and tried to get caught up a little bit. We’ll be doing more of the lunching and the socializing as time permits. She loaned me seasons one through five of The West Wing. Lord. I am in heaven.

I’ve watched a few (side one of disc one) episodes, all the while picking up the house, rescuing another live bird courtesy of Sammy, folding a few clothes and sipping on some apple cider.  I’m about to go get more school work organized and read some pages for Thursday’s class while I wait for Parenthood to come on. AND I just remembered I need to take out the trash and recycle for pickup tomorrow!

WIN!!!