Do you need a beginning of the week feel good?

Go HERE, and throw a few bucks to my sister’s fund raising efforts for her Heart Walk. I’m so proud of her! Wish I could do it with her but just donated instead!

This world is crazy. I’m watching the Japan footage, and mourning the losses that were felt this weekend, and just thinking that my brain could explode taking it all in.

woops. the plumber’s here.

go! donate! YAY!

I lost point 6 at weigh in today…and damnit, I really expected more. Workouts everyday last week, eating well, within my limits. I did have a big night Friday, but well within all my flex/activity points I’d banked. Or so I thought.
I know things are shifting from the weights and the cardio, I can feel it.
But really. That was just deflating.
Point six.

sigh.

But it’s a new week. Its a busy week. I’ve got to refocus and move forward.

I’m committing to more cardio. Everyday. I’ll start by adding ten minutes more. I’m going to cook today, get foods ready for the week so that I’m not tempted to snack on bad stuff. I filled the kitchen with fruits yesterday from my Sams trip—wait. Let me tell you this! It’s a piece of good news! Remember last week when I ran over a pair of tweezers and flattened my tire? Welp. I took it to Sams, from where it was purchased, and the guy tried to patch it. Didn’t work. Tweezers, apparently, not only good for plucking up a brow, but plucking up a tire as well. Replacement tire?

$16.00

SIXTEEN DOLLARS. ONE. SIX.

Thankyouverymuch. I’ll have that.

Which is good, because the plumber will be here sometime today and ….gah.

So, this week. Cardio. No excuses when it comes to workouts. NO excuses when it comes to food intake.

What are you dealing with this week?

It’s been a weekend of unrest. Not just because I’m off and running and working and erranding and clean sheeting and trying to wrap my head around time management as something other than a pipedream.

The Japan earthquake and subsequent tsunami. The carnage.

My friends Tara and Lance lost their mother, after one courageous and tenacious battle with cancer, this morning. My heart is breaking for them. And for me. She has been my go-to voice at my insurance agency for as long as I can remember.

Another acquaintence via FB and El Reno, and USAO in a matter of speaking, lost her mother in a tragic murder/suicide this weekend.

I just want to gather all of you up in my arms and just hold you tight. I feel a little edgy, and while the chatter in my brain is decidedly less than it was last week, the voices that are still there are kind of sideways today.

I had a chat with my sister today, about our fractured family and the stresses that brings, and we laughed and look forward to our visit next weekend. Some of you will get to come out to the Frontier and enjoy all of our children and play and I really look forward to that too.

I think today is just going to be a “remember to breath” kind of day. There is no slouch on the couch time, it’s a full day. But it’s cloudy out, overcast really. I’m going to go water the yard, just to insure we’ll get rain later tonight, then head out to BatShitCrazyTown to start wedding season beer slingin!

A little tune for you…for us…inspired by Clemo. On the occasion of a clear memory.

Have you seen it?
Inception?
Of course you have.

I’m always the last to get to the party.

Thanks to SeanPatrick, I had the dvd in my house and his STRONG recommendation to view it.
Thanks to PatGreen, I had a rock star night last night and stayed home tonight, even though my Glimmer Girls were out on the town, gettin their gay bar on, and were begging me to join. . . the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak.
Thanks to Lynn, for coming over and keeping me company while I did house chores, struggled to find what was causing the water underneath my sink to be everywhere, shared chinese food and watched the movie with me.

At least I know if this is an alternate reality, if my top stops spinning, she was with me…I’d really like my top to spin awhile tonight seeings as how we spring forward and I’ve got a full full day.

Ahh, hand full of melatonin and I’m good as Leo.

Yawn.

I have never been more excited to be home by myself cleaning house on a Saturday night in my entire life. It was a busy week with plans outside the house Tues, Wed, Thurs and Friday. I came home and napped but it wasn’t a really good one, my neighbor to the back is replacing the fence. noise.

So, I gave up, got up, made me a one point hotdog with 5 points of extras on it. and am on the couch with the door open. It’s gorgeous out there. I wish I had the energy to get outside and do some chores. As it is, all my indoor chores are calling my name.

I’m not listening to any of them right now.

Tomorrow begins Job 3, bartending at weddings! weeee! I am missing the Harvard Glee Club, and that sucks, but I”m glad to get back to Festivities and to the brides and my other family. I need to workout and get groceries and get my tire fixed, but I don’t know when that will happen…

I need a wife.

He was playing on the sidewalk
For passing change
When something strange happened
Glory train passed through him
So he buried the coins he made
In peoples park
And went looking for a woman
To court and spark

I love Joni Mitchell. I don’t know if I’m old enough to get to love her, I don’t know if I’m qualified to love her yet, if I’ve reached that point in my life, where your one step past Stevie Nix, and several steps away from Joan Baez…where the words of Joni Mitchell are the echos of your own heartbeats…

But I love her.

Case of You is perhaps my favorite…it’s so fitting to my life and the way I’ve approached relationships, dealt with love…

I met a woman

She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said
“Go to him, stay with him if you can
Oh but be prepared to bleed”
Oh but you are in my blood you’re my holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet
I could drink a case of you darling
Still I’d be on my feet
Still I’d be on my feet
I’d still be on my feet

Figuring out the natural progression of it all is difficult, at best, I think. I mean, one would proclaim that it should be “easy” that there shouldn’t be too much “work” involved…But the mental energy that is consumed by it all? Honey, that ain’t easy and it sure as hell feels like work…all those thoughts churning, wheels spinning.

What about the spark and the courting? Does it still happen? Do you have to have both for it to work? Can you have the court and not really have the spark…or is it mandatory for it to function as a whole…both pieces must be present.

What the hell, Joni. Where’s the song that tells me that, eh?

I’ve always had a sure fire test for the spark. If he can “come along with me on a trip to Montana” (figuratively, gentle readers. figuratively. we’re still working on the Courting section, we haven’t progressed to the Penthouse Forum section) anyways, if I can actively picture him while in Montana…yeah there’s a spark. I told that to Caro today-after explaining that “going to Montana” was a euphemism- and she said, “well my dad always said ‘traveling together was the key’–maybe he wasn’t talking about traveling at all”

After we picked ourselves up off the floor and wiped the laughter tears away…I got to thinking…Is it NECESSARY?

What if Montana is a place he never travels to? What if he NEVER STEPS FOOT in Montana? What if Montana is filled forever with the same intelligent, luscious smart ass man that’s been my tour guide for some time now? (yeah. don’t even ask who it is. I’m not telling you. I got drunk and told him once, though. THAT was a conversation to behold.)

I wonder…is that Spark something that we really need? or are we falling prey to the movies and the memories of a Bobby Hathaway stomach flip flop from the 8th grade? As we get older, do our needs change? Don’t start jumping and screaming…I’m not talking about sex and lusty lustiness because that’s a no brainer. That has to happen.

I’m talkin about that Spark.

Isn’t comfortable and easy just as good, in the long haul? Aren’t those the qualities that long standing relationships have? I wonder. I really do.

I don’t have the answers. I’m intrigued by the responses I’ve gotten to this question today…what do you think?

Wonderboy is 9 years old today.

NINE YEARS OLD!!!

I will see them next weekend and we shall celebrate and enjoy…those of you coming to the party don’t forget!!!

I love this kid so much…Can’t wait to see him! He’s the spiciest kid around with wit and wisdom beyond his years.

Mile upon mile got no direction
We’re all playing the same game
We’re all looking for redemption
We’re just afraid to say the name
So caught up now in pretending
What we’re seeking is the truth
I’m just looking for a happy ending
All I’m looking for is you

I love this song. I have loved this song for sometime now. I’m going to see Pat Green tomorrow night with my BEST friend and my Pseudo Sisters 1 and 3. We’ve all been on our journey over the past handful of months…lot’s of change for us. Physical, mental, professional, spiritual change…just a Yahtzee full of change. So I think this song is fitting. And I think it’s fitting that we’re going together

and yes. I’m still tweeking about no FB. I miss everyone. I feel like the party is raging without me. I really MISS the birthday notifications, so if any of you have a birthday that I miss…I’m sorry. Happy Birthday to you. I have got to get up and get my arse to the gym. My boyfriend David Payne is shaking his moneymaker on the news right now and it’s cracking me up!

It’s Thursday. The Normals are almost to the weekend. I’m going to see a play tonight after work, then the concert tomorrow, then my first wedding bartending gig on Sunday. BRING IT ON!!! Hey, here’s a lil something to get you going.

I want to make it known here and now…I LOVE COMMENTS.

My first day off of the Facebook was an interesting one, with all kinds of fuckedupness flowing. I have felt out of touch, out of reach, out of bounds all day. I have sat in front of my computer and with my phone and reached for it, searched for the tab, Pavlov’s Dog.

drool.

I went to Ash Wednesday services tonight. Barely made it in time…I missed probably half of it but I did the best I could and was reminded once again of a time of reflection and meditation. I continue to seek…and I know what I need to figure out will be easier with less chatter.

However. I want you to know that every little comment over here at MistiRidiculous is a precious, beautiful, shiny, sparkly little gem from you to me. It makes me happier than a clam in high tide to see little numbers out there telling me that you’ve told me something.

Please don’t be afraid to comment. Let me know you’re out there, that we’re still connected through this self imposed sabbatical. It’s easy. I promise.

also…I had a flat tire today. Ran over a pair of tweezers. I don’t even know.

 

I woke up this morning, and grabbed my phone to silence the alarm and check for my notifications. Turns out there aren’t any as I’ve deleted the FB app off of my phone.

First day.

Yeah…I’m tweaking a little. But I remind myself that you’re all still out there, that life does go on, that this is my choice and I choose this. My roomie is gearing up for a really hardcore training session this morning. She’s doing the half marathon in May. So, I’m going to go to my gym and put in extra time in support. (well. it’s not really support, but I did get up and kind of do a cheer for her and ply her with vitamin c to combat the ick she is feeling)

Going to Job 2 today. Got some stuff to get done, hours to bill, files to file and some hugs to hand out. The land manager that had been fighting cancer for so long, passed away yesterday. Caro, I’m sure, is just out of her heart with trying to comprehend it. I want to be there for her, in whatever capacity. I don’t have any appointments at this point, in the salon but that could change. I’m going to Ash Wednesday services and then maybe to trivia…

Chris and Cindy are finishing their trek to KCMO today. Sending them all kinds of love and light on their journey. My heart is cracked at their leaving. Not broken really because I know it’s what is right for their lives…just cracked and bleeding a little. I miss them so much already…the part of my mind that is actually wrapped around the fact that their gone.

Wonderboy’s birthday is tomorrow. The family is coming in next weekend…I think it’s next weekend…to celebrate both boy’s birth’s. I miss them all. I can’t wait to see them and just be together.

I will possibly be posting here more these next 40 days, or at least in the beginning, more than my once daily. Bare with me kids. Addiction is a difficult thing. But I know you’ve got my back, cheering me on…as does my boyfriend George Clooney.