Good Lord that week kicked my ass.

All of the work and life combined with the sinus gunk and the no sleeping due to cough…I crawled in on my hands and knees to the weekend but I made it! Got up early and met the kids and Moms for breakfast before they returned home, then I came home and crashed. Dark room, cold a/c, Gilmore Girls in the background…I slept until early afternoon and then catnapped the rest of it.

I finally got up and cleaned up the mess that was this house. Trey is coming over with steaks, and we’re going to have a little Sunday Funday action before he goes to work. Steaks, shrimp, baked beans, pasta salad and cold beer! YummmmmOH! Trey is one someone I’ve had in my life for years. I can’t even remember how many.  But we’ve recently begun hanging out over here, spending snow days, crazy weather days, summer evenings cooking and eating and watching movies. Zombieland solidified our friendship forever!

He has to work at 8:45, then I shall come in and finish the dishes and watch the Tony’s which I’m recording. I forsee sleeping early in my clean sheets and tackling tomorrow with a vengence.

I have to go to the grocery store. There’s no real food in this house. I’m eating sliced cheese and mixed nuts. The cats are out of crunchy and I have no coffee. I may get so inspired that I get up to my college and get enrolled ! WHAT?!?!? yup! That’s what I want tomorrow to bring. Perhaps a movie…who knows. Rest. I know that.

How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun or did you work the whole thing like I did? We had some nice rain last night so I’m going to plant some pepper plants that Bonusmom gave me tonight. The weather is nicer…still hot but not oppressive.

Ok that’s it from here. Enjoy what’s left of your weekend!

I’ve been struggling with my health this week. Exhaustion. Sun rash that has just eaten up my chest. It’s a lovely sight, to be sure. Itchy. So so itchy. Allergies in the form of clogged sinus goo and coughing. I cough all night long. Which means that when I finally wave the white flag in the morning, I am a zombie.

meow meow.

I had already concluded that this would be my summer sans sun. I’ve always used sunblock but have never been a fiend about it. This year, 70 spf, sun hats, lip block…The Works! Unfortunately while camping on top of the sun last week, some of that protection slipped. Fever blister on my lip woke me up last night with the throbbing. I’m peeling on my lower back where I didn’t get spf’d. This sun rash…sheesh. Apparently I’ve developed an allergy to the sun.

This is totally a self diagnosis per the world wide web. But it fits.

I’m all cranky and pms’ing and sideways about everything this week. My house is a wreck. I haven’t been to the store. I’m out of coffee. and milk. I ate pita chips and french onion dip for dinner last night. I realize all of this supports the yuck I’ve been feeling and that it all stems from just being so tired…even when I take a pill I’m not sleeping.

But Ive got work at the salon today, bartending tonight. Squeezing in time with the family somewhere. Same thing tomorrow.

I’m just hoping that the cough will go away. I’m medicating with Mucinex and Vit C. I’ve had some Alka Seltzer Plus Cold meds too…neti pot and lots of water.

So. That’s me. I’m cranky and tired and sideways.

BUT…I’m grateful today for the little bit of rain we got. I’m grateful for getting to see my family. I’m grateful for clients and money to live.

Life really is good.

Happy Friday.

Sweet merciful sweaty monkeys.

It’s hot.

It’s really hot standing around blow dryers all day.

Our salon has West facing windows. It’s awesome.

The kids are here. Holden speaks in Meow these days. He meow’d today at lunch in such a way, with such perfect timing, that I almost did a spittake right into Bonusmom’s face.

love love love.

or as he would say…meow meow meow.

I’ve got nothing really to report. I feel like asshola. Coughing. Allergies. My fever blister on my lip is painful and I’ve got work solid all weekend long. That’s about it for me.

Peace and air conditioning.

 

I’ve had a bunch of stuff in the back of my noodle that I’ve been ignoring until “after I get back from the mountain.” Lot’s of things like bills, tax payments and some financial work that I DO NOT WANT TO DO, dealing with enrollment and financial aid for school, getting the guestroom back in order, bills getting paid.

Just a bunch of stuff.

The fact that I managed to really ignore it and be in the moment during the trip was amazing unto itself. But last night my internet went out so I couldn’t do anything with bills and information gathering and this morning I woke up in a full blown almost panic attack.

With a fever blister.

I called my sister and talked to her for awhile. The internet tech came out early and was kind and generous with his time and information and fixed me right up, even better than before. I called into the salon and have a few appointments today. I’m praying for more. I’m going to get into the office for a few hours as well…

I feel a little better. Less panicky. I need to make a list and see what exactly it is I need to do to breathe a bit easier

I’ve got weekend bartending shifts both Friday and Saturday.

Mom and the kids are arriving tomorrow for a visit so my free time will be spent with them.

Taryn and I decided to scrap our summer camping trip and make it a trip to the condo instead! Climate control is the key for my future summer mini breaks. I want to have a family camping trip…but we’re looking at Sept/October. Maybe a long weekend during fall break.

What else?

Missing my travel partners. I love being able to find people who I travel well with. Mgirl and I are good travel partners, and now I’ve got a few more to the list! Trish and Gabe and I have yet to remove our Waka wristbands…We’re our own version of a Wolf Pack.

Ok kids. I’ve got to get ready. Banging some hair at 10. I need to get mine banged as well. I am going to get a real haircut this week. not super short, but a goodly amount. It’s time. It’s just time.

Oh hey! I got financial aid for grad school! I was approved for loans and some workstudy. I’m ok with that. Maybe I can find some grants in my future, but I’m ok with the loans. I’m just ready to get there, ya know?

Have a great day.

I love my air conditioning.

We survived.

We did indeed survive.

We proved things to ourselves (and clearly everyone who looked at us with tilted dog heads and said…”camping???? in a tent???”

The music was fabulous. We saw some amazing acts. Grace Potter. Mumford & Sons. Ryan Bingham were my favorites…

There were thousands of people. It was upper 90 degree heat all day every day. There was no escaping the weather and the weather…was brutal.

We did set up our campsite at 1am and kicked some serious ass…until we realized we had the shade canopy inside out. RIGHT??? who can say that?

I’m exhausted. The heat took us out at the knee…we did have riverside camping so we spent our days at the river until it filled up with “Weekend People”

The Weekend People make douchebags look like sweet girl scouts selling cookies. Gross gross people. The other dumbass people wore me right out. Drugged out kids with their hula-hoops and their swinging ball things.  The stupid tu-tu wearing kids, the dumbass redneck stoners…the people that cared nothing about anything other than having a place to do as many drugs as possible…those people made it unpleasant.

I’m not saying everyone needed to go FOR THE MUSIC…but dude.

Maybe I’m too old for it. I don’t know. I don’t like drugged out slacker kids here in OKC so I don’t think I’m being specifically bitchy. Our running joke was…”Your mother is so dissapointed in you. Get the hell up. Sober up. Get a job. Take a shower.”

We laughed. A lot. We set out for an adventure and ohmylanta did we get one! We got great stories. We almost gave ourselves a heatstroke on the first day. We met some great gooniegoogoo friends from St Louis. We found salvation at the river. We rode a ferris wheel. We walked through Little Bangcock every night. We put Vitamin Water and Krispy Kremes in the hands of our stoned out neighbor kids which gave us great karma the last day. We did minimal drinking. I brought home 3 of the 4 cases and the mojito stuff. Too hot for anything but water. We overbought food like crazy people. It was too hot to eat. I tried to cook twice…it was just too hot. We had the best campsite ever. It rocked. We learned what we would do differently…but are pretty sure we’re not heading anywhere like that for awhile. When we stopped for breakfast at Cracker Barrel this morning, Gabe turned to me and said, “it’s nice to be in some place…normal.” and I said, “yeah like with climate control and a roof?”

yeah.

The lineup would have to be pretty freakin awesome. . . Like…Elvis and John Lennon and Gabe’s dirty secret boyfriend, Jim Morrison…we’d maybe go camping  inside the sun again for those guys.

maybe.

We leave for our camping trip/music festival tonight. We tore UP Sams and Walmart last night. Seriously.

I grew up camping with my family. Two whole weeks at a time. Lake Sam Rayburn. Possum Kingdom Lake…I remember my parents always always always having the best campsites, the best breakfasts, the best tents, the best hammocks. I remember cold peanut m&m’s out of the ice chest.

Pretty sure this camp site of ours is gonna kick some serious granola tree huggin booty.

We’ve got each of us, our own sleeping tents with blow up beds. We’ve got our Private Bathroom tent, with portapottie, accessories, and US magazines. We’ve got our 11×11 Shade tent that’s screened. We’ve got two tables, four chairs, lanterns and tiki torches and candles. We’ve got our kitchen stand set up, our stove and our travel charcoal grill. We’ve got our coffee pot. Trisha’s car has a normal plug in, so we’re just doing it that way. Instant gratification. I may be roughing it, but I’m not trying to get up, start a fire and bubble up some dang coffee. I need it pronto. We have a solar shower, and camp soap to get some grit off before we sleep. Hammocks. Two of them. Battery operated fans, camelback packs, tank tops and SPF A Million. We’ve got glow sticks and glow swords and glow axes. We’ve battery operated Chinese lanterns for decor. We’ve got a clothesline that will operate as a privacy wall…

We’ve got food, good breakfasts. We’ve got a cast iron skillet. Biscuits and gravy. Eggs, hash browns, sausage. Batter blaster pancakes. Bacon. We’ve got bratwursts, weenies, brick chili. we’ve got chicken breasts to grill. Chips and dips and hummus and pitas. Clift bars and 5 hour energy drinks. Salty cashews and pistachios. Cookies and donuts and cheap baked goods with white icing. We’ve got Vitamin Zero, Green Tea, and Bottled Water. OJ and some fabulous pomegranite/blueberry juice that will be premixed with the vodka.

Speaking of happy hour…We’ve got four cases of beer, some regular, some fancy. We’ve got two pouches of mojito, two pouches of wine and some premixed vodka/pre mixed margaritas. We can’t take glass containers…so we’re getting creative baby! We also can’t take any alcohol into the music venue, so that means this will all be consumed on site. They sell stuff at the stages, so that’ll be fine. We’re not trying to get shittyboombalitty, just loose enough to not worry about what this daily life is offering.

I just want to relax. Into my bone marrow. And if that means I bop till I drop…or I just get comfy at the campsite and peace out for a bit. . . either one is fine by me.

I have much faith in our packing abilities, and even more faith in our setting up camp at 1 a.m. abilities! Hey…There’s really nothing we can’t do.

I told Trisha and Gabe last night, who knows what this adventure will bring. We may hate it. We may be dirty, crying girls by Saturday night. We may never do it again. . .

Or it may turn out to be the best little getaway of our lives.

And who want’s to pass up a chance at discovering something that great?

Not this girl.

I wish I could blog from there. I’m not taking my computer. And we’ll have car chargers for our phones but I don’t want to drain it too much with use. We’ll see how that shakes out. I’m going to take a notebook and pen, so we may go the old school route.

I’ve got to go to the bank, make deposits, go to work and bang a little hair. Depending on how the day shakes out, I may come home during breaks and just gather last minute items. We’ll load up about 7:30 tonight and head to Ozark, Arkansas. When you’re all getting up for  your 1-3am peepee, think of us. We’ll be setting up our camp!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take a really long hot shower. This clean has to really last the next four days…

WAKA WAKA!!!

How was your weekend? I didn’t work all day Saturday, so it actually felt like a 3 day break for me, too. I’ve spent this weekend partially working, helping my 2nd family in Batshitcrazytown. Partially hanging out with friends I haven’t seen in awhile, Mgirl  and Sean and Demetri…good times.  Having facetime with Kath and J this morning for Hangover II…It’s been good. Really good. I’ve cooked out all weekend and had meals with Lynn and Trey. Burgers. Steaks. Veggies. Yummy.

I’ve decorated MeMe and PaPa’s graves as well as G’Ma Bruce’s. It was the first time I’ve been back since we buried them. Meme being the last one, in October of 95. I haven’t stayed away on purpose. It wasn’t horrible or traumatic for me. I talk to them all the time. I have their photos in my home. I feel their presence in my life every single day. So this was…it was a thing. Respect. More so for my mother and BonusDad than anything else. It’s a beautiful cemetery out in bum fuck north of town. I drove around for TWO HOURS before I found it. I was about to blow my lid, in a pure PaPa fit when I drove up on it…the whole time muttering “this is why I want to be cremated damnit”

Trish and I have been shopping for our trip and have been blowing each others phones up with our purchases. We have two campsites. I bought my own when i thought her husband was coming along. Her 14 year old daughter is coming in his place and is responsible for the most brilliant idea. I’ve got my tent. They have theirs to sleep in. They also have a little one person tent that will be our bathroom tent. Yes. We bought a portapottie. bags. chemicals for disposing. We have our own Pee Tent. I love us. We’ve already surpassed our expectations for this trip. Tomorrow we meet, we finalize our food purchases, organize and plan our ice chests and make our final leaving plans. I’m excited. Beyond.

Lynn is taking care of the fur babies. I can’t tell you how much relief there is to know in my heart that my home and animals are being taken care of. Probably better than I would because I lost my mind on Kiki today. She’s taken to peeing on my bedroom rugs. Annoying. Her litterbox is pristine. She’s a bitch. Anyways, Lynn’s got it. She wont let the animals or the garden die. I’m sooooo thankful.

What else today, ya’ll?

This weekend, really makes it seem like summer has begun, doesn’t it? I’m hyper aware of how fast it goes…I’ve got big things happening each month, already on the calendar. Bartending gigs. Great Wolf Lodge in July! School starts the end of August. Holy crap.

I’ve slept this weekend. a LOT. Naps in the afternoon. Clean sheets and freshly showered skin at nights. I’m still adjusting to no roommate. Sometimes I’ll wake up at night and listen for her. I haven’t fixed the guestroom yet. After I get home. Sleeping and being lazy without guilt has been a gift that I think…THINK…I have finally learned to give myself.

Ok kids. I’ma pour myself a little jelly jar full of cold white wine and cruise the tv channels. Trey’s coming over for steaks and making me watch Vanilla Sky. I’ve never seen it. His head exploded gooey bits when he found that out. Tonight we rectify the situation.

I think Ima need more than one jelly jar of wine.

It’s the official start of summer…whooooweeeeee! We’re going to have record breaking heat. 92-93 degrees today. Good honk. But I’m not going to complain. No more storms. Heat and rain please and thankyou.

I bartended last night, and got to spend some quality time with Popsie. He’s been so strong this week, for everyone. Strong and clear and focused. Yesterday he kind of came apart at the seams a bit. Chi and Nonna were at Sam’s starting to replace things. She said they spent 500 dollars…on nothing. Just nothing really. Mom sent a brand new coffee maker home with me, that I gave to them. Things will be replaced…but they’re having those flashbacks. What happened to my blabiddybla? They were in the farmhouse. What happened to my blabiddybla? those were hanging on that wall at the farmhouse…

I just ask for your continued prayers for this family. The stages of grief are very present in this situation, and along with the rage and grief is the overwhelming feelings of grace and gratitude for being spared and for all of the love coming their way. It’s a confusing mix. In the midst of it all, life goes on. Summer has begun, Noodle’s out of school, weddings are scheduled, cleaning must continue. It goes on. One step at a time.

I’m working just this morning. Then off until Tuesday. We leave Wednesday night for the mountain. I’ve got lot’s to do. I’m going out to decorate the graves, I’ve got some things to gather for the trip. I’ve got offers for arts festival and barbequeing. I like not being tied down to a bunch of obligations.

I have time for one more cup of coffee then I’ve got to get my ass in gear.

Have a beautiful Saturday, friends.

So I got another email from my grad school adviser…and let me just say…I am becoming more and more underwhelmed with the professionalism of her and the whole experience by the minute. I can be understanding. I am fully aware that life is a bitch, semesters are rough, juggling more than one thing on the daily grind can drive you to drink draino. I get it. We’ve all got shit.

We have all got shit.

But it’s not an excuse to slack off on the job.

Basically the email said, “thanks for being patient. the semester was rough. bla bla bla. you can enroll at will. I don’t know what program you’re in. go ahead and get enrolled then come see me and I will look to see if the classes will apply to your program. I don’t know anything about financial aid, call them directly. Make an appointment with me in the spring semester.”

What the fuck?

You want me to just go ahead and spend money on classes that may or may not work for my program?

Really.

Just a little disgusted by the whole thing.

I’m not asking for someone to hold my hand every step of the way…but as an adviser…ADVISE ME.

 

Meanwhile, the farmhouse has been pretty much cleaned up. The insurance was out yesterday. They had lots of help. I went out and worked on Festivities, cleaning and prepping for the weekends rehearsals and weddings…the business must continue even when everything else falls apart. The community is rallying in such a way that brings tears to the eye.

Many have asked me what they can do to help…I’m saying gift cards. Groceries. Spices. Toothpaste. Panties. Shoes. Towels. Yard equipment. everything is gone. So rebuilding will begin soon, but until it does I think gift cards are easier to store than Stuff. . . when we don’t really know where the Stuff will go.

Our Thunder lost last night. 3 years as our team here in OKC and we made it to the final four. Amazing sportsmanship from such a young team. Our oldest player is 3o. Well played, Thunder boys. Well played.

Ok kids, I’m done. I have to run to the store today. I just ate a toasted whole wheat hamburger bun for breakfast.

I was going to tell you about my weekend, bla bla bla, crazy stroms and tornados in Arkansas and their lack of weather technology in the news.

BUT:

We had storms here yesterday. 4 different tornados that tracked across the state. I’m ok. My house and Bonusmom’s house are ok.

One of them hit my second family. Hit them hard. Their sweet sweet farmhouse was leveled.

Everyone, INCLUDING all of their pets, are ok. No one was hurt. It is a salute to intuition that no one was out there because that basement is the go to fraidy hole.

I have some photos on my phone…but can’t get them on here for some stupid reason. Here’s a link to some coverage.

Carla’s car? her brand new Sebring convertable that she left in the garage because she didn’t want hail damage?

It’s sideways in a tree with a 2×4 sticking out of it.

We were looking for the cat and the dog last night, and out in the middle of a field in the stillness that comes after a storm like that…two tiny deer having a little snack.

God’s grace.

We woke up this morning and the animals had returned home.

People are blowing up my phone with offers of help.

There are still people missing…the baby that was sucked from the mother’s arms while they were hiding in their bathtub…

The wheat farmers who’ve lost their harvest…

Lives were lost. . .

Prayers. Prayers for peace and recovery.

The Weather Channel guys showed up last night. They had just come from Joplin. You could see the weariness in their eyes and hear the empathy in their voice.

I’m having my coffee. I’m praying for my hometown. and I’m going to put on my rubber cowboy rainboots and my garden gloves and I’m heading out to pick up sticks. Because that’s all that’s left.

Sticks.

Stones.

But no one was hurt.

No one was hurt.