I have never been more excited to be home by myself cleaning house on a Saturday night in my entire life. It was a busy week with plans outside the house Tues, Wed, Thurs and Friday. I came home and napped but it wasn’t a really good one, my neighbor to the back is replacing the fence. noise.
So, I gave up, got up, made me a one point hotdog with 5 points of extras on it. and am on the couch with the door open. It’s gorgeous out there. I wish I had the energy to get outside and do some chores. As it is, all my indoor chores are calling my name.
I’m not listening to any of them right now.
Tomorrow begins Job 3, bartending at weddings! weeee! I am missing the Harvard Glee Club, and that sucks, but I”m glad to get back to Festivities and to the brides and my other family. I need to workout and get groceries and get my tire fixed, but I don’t know when that will happen…
He was playing on the sidewalk
For passing change
When something strange happened
Glory train passed through him
So he buried the coins he made
In peoples park
And went looking for a woman
To court and spark
I love Joni Mitchell. I don’t know if I’m old enough to get to love her, I don’t know if I’m qualified to love her yet, if I’ve reached that point in my life, where your one step past Stevie Nix, and several steps away from Joan Baez…where the words of Joni Mitchell are the echos of your own heartbeats…
But I love her.
Case of You is perhaps my favorite…it’s so fitting to my life and the way I’ve approached relationships, dealt with love…
I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said
“Go to him, stay with him if you can
Oh but be prepared to bleed”
Oh but you are in my blood you’re my holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet
I could drink a case of you darling
Still I’d be on my feet
Still I’d be on my feet
I’d still be on my feet
Figuring out the natural progression of it all is difficult, at best, I think. I mean, one would proclaim that it should be “easy” that there shouldn’t be too much “work” involved…But the mental energy that is consumed by it all? Honey, that ain’t easy and it sure as hell feels like work…all those thoughts churning, wheels spinning.
What about the spark and the courting? Does it still happen? Do you have to have both for it to work? Can you have the court and not really have the spark…or is it mandatory for it to function as a whole…both pieces must be present.
What the hell, Joni. Where’s the song that tells me that, eh?
I’ve always had a sure fire test for the spark. If he can “come along with me on a trip to Montana” (figuratively, gentle readers. figuratively. we’re still working on the Courting section, we haven’t progressed to the Penthouse Forum section) anyways, if I can actively picture him while in Montana…yeah there’s a spark. I told that to Caro today-after explaining that “going to Montana” was a euphemism- and she said, “well my dad always said ‘traveling together was the key’–maybe he wasn’t talking about traveling at all”
After we picked ourselves up off the floor and wiped the laughter tears away…I got to thinking…Is it NECESSARY?
What if Montana is a place he never travels to? What if he NEVER STEPS FOOT in Montana? What if Montana is filled forever with the same intelligent, luscious smart ass man that’s been my tour guide for some time now? (yeah. don’t even ask who it is. I’m not telling you. I got drunk and told him once, though. THAT was a conversation to behold.)
I wonder…is that Spark something that we really need? or are we falling prey to the movies and the memories of a Bobby Hathaway stomach flip flop from the 8th grade? As we get older, do our needs change? Don’t start jumping and screaming…I’m not talking about sex and lusty lustiness because that’s a no brainer. That has to happen.
I’m talkin about that Spark.
Isn’t comfortable and easy just as good, in the long haul? Aren’t those the qualities that long standing relationships have? I wonder. I really do.
I don’t have the answers. I’m intrigued by the responses I’ve gotten to this question today…what do you think?
I will see them next weekend and we shall celebrate and enjoy…those of you coming to the party don’t forget!!!
I love this kid so much…Can’t wait to see him! He’s the spiciest kid around with wit and wisdom beyond his years.
Nothing to see here. Leave the presents. Move along.
Mile upon mile got no direction
We’re all playing the same game
We’re all looking for redemption
We’re just afraid to say the name
So caught up now in pretending
What we’re seeking is the truth
I’m just looking for a happy ending
All I’m looking for is you
I love this song. I have loved this song for sometime now. I’m going to see Pat Green tomorrow night with my BEST friend and my Pseudo Sisters 1 and 3. We’ve all been on our journey over the past handful of months…lot’s of change for us. Physical, mental, professional, spiritual change…just a Yahtzee full of change. So I think this song is fitting. And I think it’s fitting that we’re going together
and yes. I’m still tweeking about no FB. I miss everyone. I feel like the party is raging without me. I really MISS the birthday notifications, so if any of you have a birthday that I miss…I’m sorry. Happy Birthday to you. I have got to get up and get my arse to the gym. My boyfriend David Payne is shaking his moneymaker on the news right now and it’s cracking me up!
It’s Thursday. The Normals are almost to the weekend. I’m going to see a play tonight after work, then the concert tomorrow, then my first wedding bartending gig on Sunday. BRING IT ON!!! Hey, here’s a lil something to get you going.
I want to make it known here and now…I LOVE COMMENTS.
My first day off of the Facebook was an interesting one, with all kinds of fuckedupness flowing. I have felt out of touch, out of reach, out of bounds all day. I have sat in front of my computer and with my phone and reached for it, searched for the tab, Pavlov’s Dog.
drool.
I went to Ash Wednesday services tonight. Barely made it in time…I missed probably half of it but I did the best I could and was reminded once again of a time of reflection and meditation. I continue to seek…and I know what I need to figure out will be easier with less chatter.
However. I want you to know that every little comment over here at MistiRidiculous is a precious, beautiful, shiny, sparkly little gem from you to me. It makes me happier than a clam in high tide to see little numbers out there telling me that you’ve told me something.
Please don’t be afraid to comment. Let me know you’re out there, that we’re still connected through this self imposed sabbatical. It’s easy. I promise.
also…I had a flat tire today. Ran over a pair of tweezers. I don’t even know.
I woke up this morning, and grabbed my phone to silence the alarm and check for my notifications. Turns out there aren’t any as I’ve deleted the FB app off of my phone.
First day.
Yeah…I’m tweaking a little. But I remind myself that you’re all still out there, that life does go on, that this is my choice and I choose this. My roomie is gearing up for a really hardcore training session this morning. She’s doing the half marathon in May. So, I’m going to go to my gym and put in extra time in support. (well. it’s not really support, but I did get up and kind of do a cheer for her and ply her with vitamin c to combat the ick she is feeling)
Going to Job 2 today. Got some stuff to get done, hours to bill, files to file and some hugs to hand out. The land manager that had been fighting cancer for so long, passed away yesterday. Caro, I’m sure, is just out of her heart with trying to comprehend it. I want to be there for her, in whatever capacity. I don’t have any appointments at this point, in the salon but that could change. I’m going to Ash Wednesday services and then maybe to trivia…
Chris and Cindy are finishing their trek to KCMO today. Sending them all kinds of love and light on their journey. My heart is cracked at their leaving. Not broken really because I know it’s what is right for their lives…just cracked and bleeding a little. I miss them so much already…the part of my mind that is actually wrapped around the fact that their gone.
Wonderboy’s birthday is tomorrow. The family is coming in next weekend…I think it’s next weekend…to celebrate both boy’s birth’s. I miss them all. I can’t wait to see them and just be together.
I will possibly be posting here more these next 40 days, or at least in the beginning, more than my once daily. Bare with me kids. Addiction is a difficult thing. But I know you’ve got my back, cheering me on…as does my boyfriend George Clooney.
No. I’m not Catholic. But you’re not a stupid group of readers. You know that its not specific to that brand of living to observe this time in the calendar. You know, the five of you that read regularly, that life has been a bit of my snaggled tooth bitch these past few days/weeks/months…and that I’m searching for some peace and some answers.
Lent, is a time of reflection. Be ye a secular or non secular bunch…it’s a time to gather yourself and focus yourself on the upcoming 40 day span, and see what you can see. It has come to my attention that I can’t seen shit because I’m on the Facebook in every moment between moments. It’s a cloudy place, what with all the status updates and check in’s and where and who and what and when…
I’ve got some shit. Some stinky icky blooey gooey shit that I need to figure out. I’m not a happy person down to my bones…right now. This is unusual. It’s not who I truly am, because who I truly am is a happy person down to my bones. SO…for the next forty days I’m going to become less distracted. I shall wean myself off of your every move and scratch and fart. . . and don’t think I’m not interested. Oh hells balls, I’m interested in your farts. I’m interested in EVERYTHING YOU DO AND SAY AND THINK at the VERY MOMENT YOU DO AND SAY AND THINK IT!!!!
fuckaround.
that’s a lot of shit to consume.
smack smack smack…tasty. says the fat girl at the buffet.
Lent, for me, is a sacred time. I wasn’t raised to observe it. We First Baptists didn’t do much in the way of tradition or ceremony. We showed up, sang a few stanzas of Just As I Am, passed the plate, listened to some “you people suck and Im #winning” and then headed out to the nearest buffet or home to rip those pantyhose off and pull that slip over our heads and play “someday I’ll be a bride and he will love me and I’ll be skinny and perfect”
As I’ve grown older, and searched and asked my own questions and found my own answers, it has become a time for ME…to reflect and to contemplate and to really commit to the person I want to be, the friend I wish I was and the life I want to live.
So for the next 40 days, I am going to work on that. I want to be better to you. My friends. You…every single one of you are better to me than I ever am to you. I want to be a better sister. Daughter. Co-worker. Co-conspirator.
And I want to be better to me. I need to dislike myself less. Criticize my ass less. Need reassurance and validation less. I need to get back to that bawdy loud quirky bitch that has lived here for so many years!!! Bitch has been eating too many cookies and lost her voice…
we’re working on that.
So. All those facebookers that have come over to hang out…comment. stay. read. This is a really nice place full of sometimes boring “this is what I ate today” posts. But sometimes you get a nugget like THIS THAT YOU CAN READ.
(see, when it’s highlighted, you can click on it and it takes you somewhere else!)I
If you’re observing Lent, I hope you had a fantastic Fat Tuesday. I did. Friends, strong drinks, new people to meet…twas a loverly night. If you are not observing Lent…I hope you had a fabulous Fat Tuesday. Boobs! Beads! Debauchery!
doesn’t really matter what you observe. it’s a great holiday!
Gah. Gained this week. But less than half a pound. Still…not a loss. Looking back, there were dinners out, decadent dinners out, wine, some emotional eating of fried burgers and fries…It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. SO I know I’m still using the tools I’ve learned, and am working on it one step at a time. I need to go workout today. I’ve got laundry to do and files to build for Job 2 and clean sheets to put on the bed. I need to get my head wrapped around the upcoming week. It’s bleak on the salon front, so I’m even more grateful for Job 2.
Let me tell you about the church I’ve started going to. Ok, I’ve attended twice. But I like it. It’s the Village Christian Church. a brand that I’ve never been to before, it’s also called Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) so it’s a specific brand of Christian. Anyways, I’ve looked up online the background on the brand and I like what I’ve seen. Lots of focus on working/helping others, including EVERYONE, so it seems to be very tolerant of humanity with all it’s flaws. There’s also the element of tradition and ceremony that I love about the Catholic and Lutheran church. Lent begins this week, so I’ll be attending Ash Wednesday service and I love that. The main minister is a woman, and she’s a pretty good speaker. The median age of the congregation is older, but that doesn’t bother me too much. Everyone is friendly and I feel comfortable going by myself. SO. there’s that.
Also, I’ve decided what I’m giving up for Lent. I’m giving up Facebook.
yeah. I know.
anyways, I think I’m going to maybe take a nap. Rest a bit. I have stuff to do this afternoon/evening so I think I’ll just be easy on myself today…if I can manage it.
I just had an amazing experience. I did iChat with Dion who is in Michigan doing a show until June. It was fabulous. We talked for about an hour. We could see each other, hear each other, Oh man Oh MAN. I think you know this about me, but LAWD do I love technology!!!!!
Did my heart good. Was like he was right here, this split apart of mine, right here on my couch. And when I told him of my questions and concerns he answered right back and just knowing that he’s on this path of questions with me? Makes me feel a whole lot better about being home on a Saturday night when everybody is out THERE having fun and being social. Me with my files, billing hours to Job 2…I’m ok with it.
I’m ok with it because I just spent the last hour with my Dion. Laughing and loving and just being together. Even if it is through pixals and waves…I’ll take it.
We have a few things to celebrate and I think it’s fitting, especially after my hormonal downer of a week, to do just that today.
1) KIZZ is HOME from CHINA!!!
Girl has been in the rice paddies for two whole weeks with Queen Bee and Mr. Li. She’s been slurping noodles, and taking eleventybagillion photos, all the while sending updates when she could. Yesterday she, and her luggage, arrived safely home in Brooklyn where she is I am sure, dealing with her animal babies who are both happy to have her home and getting even with her for leaving and an amazing case of jet lag. Home home home. I know she’s hours away from me, but I finally have instant access to her via internet/instant message on the blackberry and THAT makes me very happy. We have a phone date this weekend, after she readjusts and wraps her brain around it and I can’t wait to hear her stories. What a trip.
2.) Chris and Cindy FOUND A HOME in KCMO!!!
They went up this week, to get the lay of the land, and find a home for them and Hooper their animal baby. Finding a rental property that will allow dogs is increasingly difficult so the fact that they found a house so fast, that fits what they need for right now is just a blessing. I don’t have many details other than it’s small, the dog stays, and it’s close to Cindy’s new job. It’s got to be a load of relief for both of them and I say YAY!!! Home Sweet Home!
3.) Audra has moved back into her home this past week. She rented it out when she went down south to culinary school, and finally the woman got out, and she and Joe and Noodle are back in. I think they moved with breakneck speed, and they are juggling Noodle’s play rehearsals, Joes’ job, Audra’s baking business and bartending shifts. Holy hells bells, right? But she’s back. The missing piece to her life is finally in place and all is well. Click your heels three times, right?
4.) Lynn is coming home. This is a mixed blessing. On one hand, I’m happy to have her back in the 405. But her job in Wyoming closed up shop, and it was one we were expecting to last for at least a year. So there is some feelings of WTF??? and some uncertainty in this whole thing, however she’s got the right attitude. She has contacts and has a bit of a plan formed. With that she will land right on her feet and not miss a beat…
5.) While I’m writing this, and the theme is becoming very apparent, let’s throw out some good joo joo to Kathy and Jason who are looking for a new home. This is a crazyass process and one that I’ve only done once, but dang, it was stressful. So, here’s to easy looking, and a perfect home on the horizon for them!.
Apparently the common thread is HOME in this post. Something I didn’t realize when I started typing. It’s nice, especially since I’m feeling so disconnected and discontent, to see peace and comfort among those I love. Home. I’m glad for all of you to be where you are, to get to where you’re going, and to have you in my life.
Misti Ridiculous 