32 people. Students. Horrifying.
It puts Imus in perspective, yes? And each day, in Iraq, the numbers are just as bad if not worse. It gives me a headache behind my right eyeball and a pit in my stomach.

It brings them all back. And reminds us that life turns on a dime. That saying I Love You IS important. That the focus of this country should NOT be Anna Nicole and the baby daddy. Two steps forward, five hundred steps back.

There’s a lot of stuff in my head. None of it is coming out clearly. Muddy, and lumpy thoughts. Parents without children. Teachers without students. Mkaep without any of you.

It’s already the middle of April. I’m booking appointments for June. Too fast. Time…and in the blink of anything it’s gone.

I light a candle for those gone and for those grieving, and for the rest of us trying to figure out how to navigate this world peacefully.

10 things…come ON brain…WORK!!! I’ve had several prototypes in the bin, waiting to be worked through and none of them strike my fancy this morning so it’s going to be fresh fresh fresh. If it ever happens. 10 things. . . how about 10 memorable tv moments from my life? okie dokie. Let’s roll.

10.) I can remember watching Starsky and Hutch/Fantasy Island/Love Boat/Dallas every weekend. Fridays were spent with Meme and Papa and Saturdays with Mom. There was one very scary Fantasy Island where this woman was a ventreliquist and she changed places with her doll. It got very evil and scary and there was a freakin red snake involved and I had to hide my eyes.

9.) Speaking of hiding my eyes, I have a very clear memory of seeing this movie on one afternoon called the Mommy’s Purse. I was excited. It sounds great, right? Not so much when the actual title was the Mummy’s Curse. I was freaked for a week.

8.) There was also a Bigfoot special on one weekend and I started out watching close to the set and ended up waaaaaaaay back in my Papa’s lap. So far, a pretty scarring 10 list, eh?

7.) The Yellow Rose. Came on Sunday nights. Cybal Shephard and Sam Elliot. It was my first taste of sexy cowboy. Slurp.

6.) North and South. My GOD. We were crazy for this. Patrick. Kirstie. The dresses. The drama. We could not get enough.

5.) Knots Landing. Abby Ewing was mezmorizing. I even rented her VHS tape on how to apply makeup. She was FABULOUS.

4.) Designing Women. I was always Charlene. Or at least people told me that’s who I was. Of course we all wanted to be Julia with those rants and big ass glasses she threw around. But Charlene was my favorite. She appeared a little goofy, but inside she was strong and relsiliant. The ep where she gives birth and Dolly Parton was there is one of my very favs.

3.) Speaking of givng birth, Murphy Brown’s birth was one I’ll never forget. Gertie and I had been driving around one night, probably smoking and bitching about family when we remembered OH SHIT IT’S ON TONIGHT! Raced home and yes, so sweet. Good ole Murphy. Never missed a week on that one.

2.) Mad About You. There is one scene, unspoken, yet so loud and clear that I always remember. Just a few seconds when Jamie comes in with the empty toilet roll still on the insert thingy, removes it, throws it away and looks pointedly at Paul. I always wanted that relationship. I always wanted that banter and friendship and the whole of it. Still do.

1.) Finales. Cheers. MASH. Seinfield. 90210. Friends. All memorable. All different times and moments in my life. I’m a sucker for goodbyes. Actually I freakin hate them with a passion, so I’m including every memorable finale, wheather I liked it or not, here.

These are in no real order of importance. Just how they jumped into my brain and What I thought of them after…any memorable tv moments for you?

This is what I have gained over the past two weeks. In 14 days of binging and emotional eating and drinking my way through baby funerals, birthdays, wedding showers, my period and Friday the 13th…..this is what I gained. a pan of chicken
a male lemur
a bag of corn meal

4.4 pounds.

Fuckadoodledoo.

So, I went this morning. I knew it was going to be bad, because even though we did the 6K jaunt yesterday, I drank several celebratory tecate’s and went to Chili’s for dinner. Even though I drank tons of water, and had a big cup of strong coffee for that morning “cleansing” I knew I’d been waaaaaaayyyy off program for two weeks to not show it on the scale. So. Deep Breath. Regroup. Weigh In. Own that freakin number and move on.

This is what I look like moving on.

Have been working around the house like a madwoman. The sun is out for possibly the only day this week and it is my crack cocaine. I just grocery shopped. Mostly the perimeter for freshness and goodness. Mind mapped what my food will be this week and here I go.

It’s easy to backslide round this time of the year I suppose. We get off to such a frenzied and manic start at the beginning of the year and I just fell off the wagon. I’m committing to fitness of some sort this week. I’ve been whining and talking and blocking myself out of it for weeks now and so I’m telling you…it starts today.

May 12 is four weeks away. Chrome is coming home and it’s going to be a great party. That gives me a small goal to work towards. (Chrome, I got an email from Shua and he says he’s coming too! We need to tag team that boy and force the hand.)

It’s gorgeous here. I’m going to put away groceries and work in the yard a bit. That will be my activity today. Tomorrow, either a walk out of doors or to the Y for me.

Hope you’re having a great day. How was your weekend? What do you have planned for this week?

Huzzah and Happy Monday. and as you well know….
I love him.

. . . and the world’s your oyster. . .
Went up to the bar tonight. It’s been a miserable fucking week weatherwise, miserable rain all day today and frankly we just needed a night out…

The bars are temples but the pearls ain’t free. . .
Called up Gertie and Joe and while the conversation went something like this:
“bar”
“yes”
“weather sucks”
“fuck yes”
“drink now”
“pulling in now”

there were even less words actually involved. We were on word salad at that point.

You’ll find a god in every golden cloister. . .
After about fourteen rounds of delicious adult beverages the tables turned and WHOO MY GOODNESS THEMS THERES BOYS IN HEARAH!!!

Good. God. Hands in the most delicious curly hair of the most deliciously tall drink of Tabasco. . . . WHOO-Yahhhhh.

And if you’re lucky then the god’s a she. . .
Joe found himself one at the bar and though he proclaims LOUDLY that the words never left his lips I swear to all that is golden fried fabulous I heard the words. . . (in a very Homer Simpson looking at a doughnut kind of voice) I’m liking the Asian one. . .

I can feel an angel sliding up to me.
By the end of the evening we were/are all sliding. Fun. We had skits written out starring the one legged ex-Beatle’s wife that SNL would SALIVATE over…look for Joe’s next Ten Thinsgs Tuesday for that one. We laughed. Gertie cried. There were texts and songs and roses involved….

All in all quite a grande finale to such a crap-i-licious week.

Huzzuah and Happy Saturday. My Friday. and I love George Clooney.

There’s a storm a brewin’ here today. It’s Friday the 13th, and we’re getting snow tomorrow. Mostly in the panhandle, but still. SNOW?!?!?!? Give me some of that Global Warming, Al. Come on!!

Yesterday was tragic and shitty all around. Thanks Reno, for checking in. I finished my clients with makeup smudged contacts and came home with a bottle of wine and ordered a pizza. I watched the Ugly Betty and Grey’s specials…good LORD people give me some fresh eps of those AND Gilmore Girls. I think next week is the week for that. But generally a funeral for a 10 month old baby, with open casket, and video production of her wee life at the end….not the best day. For anyone.

This weekend is busy. Giving a wedding shower tomorrow night, allegedly racing/walking the RedBud on Sunday, kids to the doc on monday and lots of Dyson-ing to do in between.

So, happy Friday. Some ramdom dreaminess. Here’s to you:
Cute Cute Henry from Ugly Betty!

For Gerttie

Some old school Eddie…before life kicked him in the mouth.

still hanging on

Chrome’s favorite

and one to grow on:

Joe’s first 10 things Tuesday ROCKS THE CASBAH!!! LOVE IT! go check it out.

And on a much much more heart wrenching note, I’ll be attending a funeral tomorrow for a 10 month old. Work with her mom. Here’s her story if you feel like checking it out and saying a prayer for Zach and Haley tomorrow. And say one for me too. This is so so horrible. Our salon is going as a group for support for Haley.

On a trival note to end the post, Dyson’d the bedroom today and I swear there’s a small Sasquatch in the thingy. Good. Grief. I’ve been living in filth. BLEAGH!!!

and I love George Clooney.

We talked last night about doing the Grand Canyon, Sedona and Santa Fe all in the same trip. THAT would not suck. Still not going out on that damned GC Skywalk but that’s cool. I’ll keep you posted!!

Nothing much else going on. Working this week, giving a bridal shower on Saturday night and am afraid NO ONE is coming. Ugh. Then doing the RedBud on Sunday and then on Monday, taking the chirren’s to get their nip/tuck surgeries. In honor of that, every chance we get we look at Little Black Sambo’s balls and bid adieu. They cut them completely off…did you know that? I didn’t. Phil asked if I wanted to keep them in a jar…I declined.

What are you doing this week? Any plans?

Phil and I are talking about a vacation. This year. This summer. Soon. I’m itching for a road trip in Bella, but if we’re doing a real vacation, then I don’t want to spend the time driving…here are a few we’ve talked about as well as a few I’ve done.

1.) Florida…I would actually love to do Disney again. I was there in ’88. The MGM Studios we being built, and they hadn’t even thought of the animal kingdom thing. Plus I could use some beach time. SO maybe Key West. I’ve never been, he has.

2.) North or South Carolina…am wanting a beach and have briefly been to NC for a week on tour with Reno. It was in May, off season, still chilly, all the touristy shops were just beginning to open and get stocked for summer. We were there at ALMOST the right time…would love to go back.

3.) Playa del Carmen or any fun Mexican resort. Phil won’t go to Mexico. Period. He says we’ll get kidnapped. More likely, he’ll pass his drunk ass out on the beach and some fabulously greasy Al Pacino look alike will come whisk me away and we’ll do it all night long. Probably that’s what would happen.

4.) California…Napa…you want a break you take a napa, you don’t move to Napa says Carrie Bradshaw. We were planning this trip with Bonus Mom and Dad when their marriage blew the hell up. We were to go this past January. Oh well. I still want to. Napa, Sonoma, all of it. And not just wine country…I could do southern very well. San Diego. See the KOALAS at the zoo. Visit the family. Man, they’ve got the best weather out there.

5.) Grand Canyon. This is his favorite place ever. I’ve never been. I’d love to see it but you’ll not be seeing me on that new plexi glass whoop-tee-doo that you can walk out on. Hell to the no my friend. Hell to the no. AND, I’m not riding a donkey down to the bottom either.

6.) Santa Fe…I’ve never been to New Mexico. Taos would be nice, too.

7.) Sedona. Back in Arizona. Gertrude’s mom’s bff lives here and communes regularly with the people of Funkytown. I could dig it.

8.) Las Vegas. I’ve been there once. The first actual meeting of Mkaep and Phil. We could go again…it’s a fun party.

9.)NYC. . . always on my list. I’m heading out in September but one of these days I’m dragging Phyllis with me. We’d have a blast.

10.)Italy… Europe. All of it. I want to see and experience all it has. Mostly though, for as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to do Italy. It-Lee. London. All things British for this anglophile. Just all of it.

I bought the Dyson yesterday. Called around and it was the same price everywhere, so I got one of those 20%off coupons for Bed Bath & Freakin Beyond and we bought it there. Came home and did the “test”…used our old one to sweep an area then went back over it with the Purple Monster. OH. MY. GOD. It was like a Biore strip. So freaking cool and gross at the same time. Bleagh. It picked up so much stuff out of the “clean” area that both Phil and I were just amazed. Very cool. Hopefully it will help cut back on the allergies in this house as well.

So what do you think about this Don Imus thing? Anyone have some thoughts? I heard a very valid argument about it last night in the bar. This guy said, “I’m not saying that what he said was correct, or that he maybe shouldn’t be punished for it. However, show me the day that Chris Rock gets penalized for saying something, show me the FCC coming down on someone other than a white guy. I’m sick of the double standard here.” Of course then the other guys at the table jumped in and the conversation just went all Redneck Retard and I had to bow out. But the first part I actually could get behind. There was another guy who said he had no idea the phrase “nappy” was racial. . . because he has some stringy ass dirty hair most of the time and thought it pertained to himself. Bwa ha ha ha. Not really. But I thought that was interesting, that this guy truly had no idea the phrase was racial. Now, maybe it was the ENTIRE phrase “nappy headed ho’s” that was racial…whatever the case, Imus has been suspended for two weeks from both the radio and MSNBC.

Freedom of speech. . . . really? Thoughts? Comments?

And finally we got new music for our jukebox at the bar last night. That my friends, was a fun errand to run. Went to CD Warehouse, which isn’t near as good as the one Reno and I used to haunt in Cincy. But we managed to get about 10 new cds, and made lots of people happy. If I could find one that was mostly greatest hits, that is what we bought. AC/DC Back in Black was my first pick. Along with KISS, Steve Earle, and the essential Ozzy. Some Garth, Shania, the best of America (horse with no name will get the shit played out of it!) and a double cd of 38 Special. The Cars greatest hits went on there as well. So that was just fun. I wanted a copy of Guns n Roses Appetite for Destruction, but no such luck. Joe Ely was also a flop, but I’m still looking for him. So fun to buy music with someone else’s money!

Ok, am out for today. Must go take my taxes to be “done” and get to work. New girls starting today, so that should be fun.
Huzzah and Happy Tuesday and I love George Clooney.

. . . but this is what I think I’m buying today. Dyson DC15 Animal. Yes, I know it’s expensive. But I’m working and making good $$. AND let’s not forget folks, I have four cats in residence. LOTS of cat hair. bleagh. I’ve done the research, and there are two people out of four hundred gozillion in the world that don’t like this vacuum cleaner. TWO. I’ve read reviews till I’m cross-eyed and they all say the same thing. Love Love Love. And reading them is just making me want one all the more.

So. I’m off to run errands, sign up for the Red Bud race next weekend, and maybe buy the most expensive vacuum cleaner I can find.

Wish me luck.