well dangit. my weekend in Little Rock didn’t work out. I’m trying not to be wonky about it, and just go with the flo but I am disappointed. There was just a lot going on. I worked three really long days in a row, was so tired I decided to drive early this morning. I’ll stay today and come home Tuesday morning. Mike had forgotten he was working at the Rep Monday and Tuesday, so really…the five hr drive would have only been for a few hours of facetime then I’d be back on the road tomorrow morning. GAH….

I’m looking at another weekend. I’m also looking at a weekend to go see Roger and Ma down in Ft Worth, and I need to get up to my family sometime soon as well…

I woke up this morning to find a dead locust and the last feet and tail of a mouse. there was another round bit but I didn’t look too closely when I swept it up. At least the cats are doing well.

I’m going to have come coffee and then I’m going to work on cleaning out the guest room’s closet.

maybe.

I don’t know if it is because I didn’t have Monday off, since we had class and other stuff going on…I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been super busy these past three days…I don’t know if it’s because there’s been so much in my head that I haven’t had any real good sleeping this week but DANG I am draggin today.

Coffee in the cup. Clean laundry drying in the dryer. I’ll be ready to face the day here in about another hour…

My house is getting put back together. The drywall guy has been here the last two days. He should be finished with the final texturing today. I will have to repaint…I can do it, I have the paint and I didn’t want to pay him for it.  I am going to have to call the insulation guy and see if he can come put some more in those two places that were cut away and that sucks but hopefully it won’t be too too much money.  I did get my last insurance check yesterday. SO…sigh. Now, I pay off the roofer. pay off the drywall guy. See how much I have leftover, and call around for a house painter…or maybe get a few windows installed? Hmmmm. Then I could use my tax money in the spring and hire the painting done…hmmm. we’ll see about that. Anyways…it’s a lot. And it’s slow moving. But I’m checking things off my list!

Have I told you what I’m doing this weekend? I’m driving to Little Rock to spend a day or two with my friend Mike and his sweet sweet family. Mike and I worked together in the summer of 97 and have been friends ever since. I haven’t seen him face to face since 2001 and our lives have changed a great deal since then. He has lived just a few hours east of me forever and I just decided life is too short to let another weekend pass without seeing him. He’s doing the 48 Hour Film Project. I won’t get there in time to really help with production or talent, but can watch post production and just generally hang around watching and sharing the same air. Our friend Shua was supposed to be here this weekend too. He lives a few hours north in Fayetteville. Work and Life have got the boy under their big greasy thumb and it looks like he won’t make the weekend. Which sucks. HE’s the reason I’m going! So…send out some love and light to him and perhaps the impossible will become possible.

Anyways, I’m not going to get much rest, but I am going to refill my heart and soul with friend time, I’m going to spend time with the woman who made him the Daddy he is today, and the sweet princess that rules their universe. I’m very excited about all of that.

Just writing about that made me a little more energized and happy.

Also, I want to mention this new fabulous thing happening in OKC.

My friend from high school, Tracey, is opening a restaurant. Not just any restaurant. A really freaking cool one. Local foods. Local farmers. Sustainable foods. Fresh menu that may change daily. This is from their website:

Ludivine was born from the idea of utilizing the best ingredients available to us from local farmers and ranchers. We use only what is in season to prepare a culinary experience that uses familiar ingredients to create dishes that speak not only to the palette, but to the whole person. We aim to design meals that release old memories and create new ones.

At Ludivine believe in cuisine that is started by the farms and ranches around us, then crafted especially for our guests.

GO look at what they’re doing…and when they open I’ll be there. And I encourage you to do the same thing!

“Release old memories and create new ones.” How beautiful is that? Seriously. I have more to say on this subject, and if you think I’m going to NOT beat this particular drum…you’re quite mistaken. I believe in this place and in these people and want everyone to know about it and support it!

Also…let’s look at this.

Another crazy week, and it’s only the 3rd day. There’s lots of rumblings and turmoil and figuring out going on in the work place…not just from me. But on the upside, it’s pretty busy and that make us very happy. The a/c is still broken, but the temps are down in the 90’s and while it seems ridiculous, it has made all the difference.

My drywall has been cut out and replaced. I came home to the bedroom and the big crack in the living room patched with fresh sheetrock. Today I am assuming he will tape and texture it. I’m going to repaint. The thing that I’m worried about, is this. Both of my dumpsters and one giant trashbag is full of stuff. Old sheetrock (which was moldy by the way) and loooooooooooooots of insulation. My new insulation that I had blown in in December. I’m worried that I need to have more blown in in those places…I woke up worrying about it. I woke up worrying about the mold and if the guy got it all taken care of…worry worry worry.

I’m about to send off the check for my roof and work on finding a painter for the house..that should finish up the repairs for the hail storm. Sheesh.

However…this is  a Love Thursday post. I am wrapping my head around change this week. Embracing it. Being scared of it. Being excited for it. Getting myself ready for it. And it’s not just me…it’s manymanymany of my tribe who are gradually sticking their toe in the water. There’s new relationships. New living arrangements. New animals (huzzuah Kizz!) New jobs and worrying about what they’ll be. Old jobs and wondering if that’s how it’s supposed to be.

So you see? It’s not just me. And it’s not all bad…But sometimes it IS all pretty scary. So today, I say to you, to myself, to all of us…Let’s do it. Let’s full on embrace it. Open up to the possibility. Close ourselves to the guilt. One step. Forward. Leap. And if you can occasionally remind me that it’s ok to be scared, that will help too. Because I get scared. And then I think, change is bad. If I’m scared of it…it must be bad…

And we know that’s not the case.

It’s Love Thursday, ya’ll.

woof. 

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Last week was a really really rough one. Busy at work. Air conditioning brokedownpalace. Clients unhappy. Stylists unhappy. Powers that be ambivalent. Money was tight…man. it was just…woof.

But then we got the weekend. And I got to see my Mom and Burl for a bit, and I had friends over to the yard and cooked out, and I laid in the sun with more friends on Sunday and made some pretty major life choices on Monday.

So, today, my Monday, heading back to work, I’m focusing NOT on the negative that is still swirling around, but on the Happy. Because it floats to the top…and can save you if you let it.

Buying new workout shoes with Chris, and talking about life afterwards over a great meal.

Getting out of the house and into the gym wearing said shoes.

Listening to Cindy talk about her trip, whilst oogling over my Bagel Boyfriend. (best. picture. ever.)

Having friends in the yard, new friends, old friends…nice.

Venting at happy hour and feeling unbelieveably lighter the next day.

my cats.

watching True Blood.

swimming with friends.

seeing Eat Pray Love, and getting it. Really getting it.

Julia on the big screen…she’s my girl.

crying freely throughout a movie and not feeling stupid.

bonding with women about Life. Capital L

making a pretty serious life decision, and taking steps to put it into motion. gulp.

paying ALL of my bills yesterday. even the past due ones. and still having just a teensy bit left over.

Going to Sam’s and treating myself to my own copy of The Help. Which I will promptly loan out.

waking up this morning and seeing the rain.

the “cold front” that brought the temps down to the 90s. Amazing what that will do for a mood.

feeling open to possibility and closed to guilt.

There’s been a lot of talk around these parts about change…feeling something coming on the horizon…change…being fearful yet leaping in spite of it. . . being open to the things we never gave a spare thought to…being open.

I just finished paying all my bills. There were two that were about four or five days past due, but…everything is paid up now. That makes me deliriously happy.

I’m about to have a visit with a friend and talk about living together. Roomates.

Yeah yeah, I know you’re all thinking…”didn’t you just do that Ms. Ridiculous?” well the answer is no. I had a kid in my house who stayed up all night long playing video games and burning the electricity. Who never took out the trash, or bought toilet paper or mowed the yard when I asked him to. Who let water drip into my home and didn’t wake me up to tell me. Now, I’m not throwing my family under the bus…these are all things that perhaps someone who is young at living a grown up life…well maybe these are lessons his parents never taught him. Fine. I’m talking about a roommate. Someone who will realize that this home requires respect. Who will help out with rent and allow me to get a little cushion in the finances. This…I think I can handle.

But we’re going to talk about it and maybe do a trial run after I get the drywall and other things fixed in that room. And that, being open to that and really seeing what it could do for me, makes me excited.

What are you excited about today? Any windows opening in your world?

I work at a salon. A fairly large salon with about 20 people doing hair at any given time. Since June, one entire side has had air conditioning problems. There was a “renovation” about 5 years ago and “they” didn’t replace that unit. The other side has a new unit but this one? The MINUTE it hits upper 90’s (which it’s done daily since JUNE) it freezes up, making the other unit to work twice as hard to cool the entire salon.

In June, I brought a personal fan from home. I have many clients in the menopausal demographic. I’m overweight and prone to the hot cranky anyway. But you get a room full of women, draped under heavy chemical capes, a head full of foil and color, sitting under processing lights…kids? It’s the female version of 300…any second someone is going to trip the hissing switch.

Fastforward through June, July, middle of August and “They” finally brought in a few fans. Two. Two fans. The a/c? well it’s still brokedown palace. And who knows what the plan will be for it’s fate. But we are all so hot. The blow dryers running (ain’ none of these bitches want to leave with wet hair…weird) the lights are blasting. We’re sweating. Clients are sweating. No way to run an upscale business…

Lest you think this Grateful entry is all negative nancy and bitching…I just wanted to give you some back story to tell you WHY I need this entry today…here it comes.

I am grateful for air conditioning.

I am grateful for fans.

I am grateful for my home, which is cool.

I am grateful for my car which will freeze a nipple in about two minutes.

I am grateful for my co-workers. We are grumbling. We are feeling ill, and woozy, and just generally bad yet we haven’t set anything on fire yet. We haven’t turned on each other. We haven’t thrown hot wax in anyone’s face or taken to eating bleach as an easy way out. We’re making it. One eyeroll at a time. We’re making Sonic runs, and water runs and we’re asking EVERYONE “do you need anything”…that’s really a sign of a good team.

I am grateful for today. We are celebrating the impending birth of little baby Duncan with a shower after work. We’ve planned it to happen at the salon, but that was before no one fixed the a/c…it’ll be interesting. But we will have cake balls. And presents. And we will love that baby when he gets here.

I am grateful that I have clients today. It’s been a good week. I went into this week considering getting out of the hair business…and now I think that was just a knee jerk reaction…there’s still instability in my mind about my future…but at least I know I really do love what I do.

I am grateful for the tile in my kitchen floor that cools my kitties.

I am grateful for this morning’s coffee.

I am grateful for this weekend and gathering in my backyard with friends.

I am grateful for being able to pay some past due bills this week.

I am grateful that we have an impending “cold front” …it’s supposed to get down to the mid 90’s on Sunday.

I am grateful for you.

I am grateful that you are reading this.

I am grateful for my sense of humor

and I’m grateful for George Clooney.

Happy Love Thursday, ya’ll.

How’s your week? For you Normals, it’s almost over. For the rest of us, it’s Hump Day. Either way…we’ve almost made it through another week…always a success in my book. The weeks are going faster, aren’t they? August? Wha??? We’re moving head first into the final part of the year and with that comes a whole lotta shit. Work shit. Love shit. Life shit. Sometimes…it’s just shit.

But sometimes you get an hour or two sitting in your backyard with one of your best friends. Tiki torches are flickering. Kitties are stalking in the grass around our feet. We are talking at a breakneck speed, getting caught up on all the shit…and then we get to talk about all the GOOD. The Happy. The Funny and the Real.

And by the end of our two hour power session…we both feel better. lighter. easier. capable of making it through another day.

Do you have that girl? I do. And today she is my Love Thursday post. LT is a sister of my soul. She’s got the best laugh and a never ending supply of support that she gives away freely to me. She’s complex and formidable when crossed and will “Rooster Up” when a friend has been wronged…she’s my reading partner in crime and will get as googily eyed over a novel and talk with me for hours like I’m not batshitcrazy.

I hope you have a girl like her in your life. I know I’m one lucky duck to have her in mine.

It’s not really a secret. I just don’t know what it is yet. Perhaps it’s another job. Perhaps it’s another trip. Perhaps it’s a whole other place to live. Anyways, it’s not a big secret. I’m not plotting to quit my job. I’m not putting my house on the market. (the crack market at that) I’m not running off to marry Padrip after only one email…nothing quite as exciting and scandalous as that…it’s just…something. I don’t know yet. what I do know…is that I can’t seem to get out of bed to go walk, and granted it is hotter than ass here this month…my a/c didnt cool the house to 75 degrees until 4am if that tells ya anything…so I am giving myself a break. However.

I have maintained a gym membership. I pay monthly. It’s right across the street from my work. Its got air conditioning.

How the HELL am I going to wrap my head around living my most fulfilled life and being open to the wonders that are making their way towards me…if I can’t get across the street in my new shoes?

I’ve tried getting a partner to work out with, and yes it’s a good idea, but seriously it never works out. ever. for so many reasons either on their part or on mine. and anyway, I shouldn’t need that should I? I should just be able to leave the salon, get in my car, and drive across to the gym. get out of my car. go upstairs and get on a machine and sweat. how hard is that???

well. I feel sure that having sex with my George Clooney on a high holy day is an easier accomplishment. I. Feel. Sure.

I’ll quit whining now. Seriously. Sometimes I wear my own self out with it so feel free to scroll down.

Sedona. Talking to Gert this weekend a little, we need to pin down the dates of my birthday trip. . .I love the idea of not really having any set plan but for a place to stay and a trip to the Grand Canyon on my 40th birthday. Drive out. Get our rooms. Wonder about. Take a hike. Eat a meal. Have some wine…see the Canyon on the 10th. It’s a wednesday this year…I just like the idea of starting this phase of my life seeing something so magical and formidable and graceful. What I will strive to be for my next 40 years…so. My homework this week is to check calendars. Find time. I will be gone for my actual day but we will celebrate with family and friends another time perhaps the following weekend… is it too greedy to also want to have a party? It gets a little hairy the deeper into November we get *dirty!* because of football schedules and holidays and bla bla bla fishcakes. Whatever. It’ll work out right? after all…

I’ve got the shoes.

and btw kids? I’ve just written myself into going to the gym. Right Meow. Peace out. Happy Humping Day. Huzzuah and Halakaleem and I love George Clooney.

Today’s NFTU…was worthy of adding here today.

You can choose to go, do, be, and have, and in the end you’ll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the “clicks” and “coincidences,” and the many happy “accidents,” your bounty and good fortune must have been your destiny.

Or, you might choose to wait for a miracle, a savior, or divine intervention, and in the end you’ll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the missed chances and disappointments, and the many unhappy accidents, your lack and misfortune must have been your destiny.

Misti, do you see what the difference is?

It ain’t me,
The Universe